UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN B UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Official student paper of the University EDITORIAL STAFF William Koester ... Editor-in-Chief Melissa Butcher ... Author Alice Lawn ... Society Editor Vernon A. Moore...Business Mgmt. John B. Nightman...Assistant Joseph C. Schroeder...Assistant NEWS STAFF BUSINESS STAFF Cargill Sproull Eugene Byer Harry Morgan Eugene Dyer John MILLard Wear John Montgomery Dorothy Cole aubur Fischer e bur K. Erickerd Helen Patterson Tuth Gardner Henry Pogues D. L. Hartley Subscription price $3.00 per year in advance; one term, $1.75. Entered as second-class mail matter Lawrence, Kansas, under the act of 1865. Published in the afternoon five times by The Times, at the Cat's Café, Catsan from the press of the Department of Justice. Address all communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Lawrence, Kansas Phones, Bell K. U. 25 and 66 The Daily Kansan aims to picture the undergraduate Life of the University ther than merely printing the news and then more than merely holding the varsity hold; to play no favorities; to be clean; to be cheerful; to be charitable; to be courageous; to be brave; to be wise; to wiser heads; in all, to serve to the students of the University. A REAL JAYHAWKER FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 23, 1917. Always a fighter in everything he undertook; manifesting a red-blooded spirit which endured him to his school associates and, later in life, to his military companions; loyal to the core to every cause and friend; considerate of others and quick to extend assistance to those in need—Frederick Funston was a real Jayhawkers admire. The University of Kansas feels keenly the loss of one who probably occupied the most distinguished position won by any former student. At the proper time the University no doubt will honor his memory. LUCK "It is better to be born lucky than rich," is a proverb to the truth of which the vast majority of men give unqualified assent. The old pagan notion about fate is not dead, it lives, aye, and exercises a mighty influence over many a man's lift. Who has not met members of that vast army of pessimists, who are loud in their denunciation of the world, who declare in bitter tones of gloomy despair, that fate has always been against them, that they have never had a fair chance in the battle of life, and the hundred and one other pet phrases of that noble body. Again, do we not daily meet light-hearted, and light-headed, optimists who are idling away the golden hours of youth—"just waiting for something 'soft' to turn up," as they express it. Popular opinion and tradition has it that all great discoveries have been made by mere chance. To the same cause is attributed the success or failure of human undertakings of every kind. Such is this manin for attributing things to chance that many men, seemingly of sane minds on other points have come to regard the universe and all its belongings, the product of chance. This imbecile notion about chance, fate, luck or whatever you choose to call it, is the cause of many failures in life. To quote Emerson, "All successful men have agreed in one thing, they were causationists. They believed that things were not by luck, but by law. A belief in causality, or strict connection between every trifle and the principle of being, and, in consequence, belief in compensation, or that nothing is got for nothing—characterizes all valuable minds, and must control every effort that is made by an industrial one." These stories about great discoveries, great fortunes, great names being made by chance are purely apocryphal. Persistence in effort and concentration of energy are the weapons with which the crown of success is to be obtained. When asked how he was able to achieve his discoveries, Newton replied, "By always intending my mind." Yet if we were to believe popular tradition he discovered the law of gravitation, by accidentally seeing an apple fall. It is not given to many to go to be unknown and wake up famous. A man usually reaps what he sows, nothing more, nothing less. Energy—the spirit of do and dare—creates a “chance” for its possessor; then spiritless pigmies around him cry out: “Oh who couldn't do well with such a chance.” The moral of it all is easy to see, isn't it? DON'T FUSS WITH CO-EDS The glory of old Michigan University will be like that of the sinking sun, if a good many of the students "don't quit stiffening with the co-eds." "Fussing," says Mr. Dunne, Senior Law student, and an son of an ex-Governor of Illinois, "threatens to lower the standard of Michigan, both in student and in teacher, so students should assert their right to be called Men of Michigan by shunning that 'swirling deluge of perfume parties, tepid tides, and parlor pastimes.'" Fussing is the University term for associating with the fair sex, more especially on the women. At Illinois they have to beg the fair dames to postpone their teas, so that the men can come to football and other practice. Wisconsin used to be the most woeful foe Michigan had at University College. It is a mediocre. Why? Because she now has over 2,000 co-eds. In Northwestern University the men are so wild females that it cannot take its exalted place in the college world. Shall Michigan descend to this rule of the skirt? Men, show that you are *men*. Leave the women alone?" -Ex. THE PROFESSOR SPEAKS Gentlemen, this course in English history which I am going to give you will bore me as much as it will bore you. I wrote these notes over ten years ago, so that if any of you have notes taken by former students, you can read even the jokes and jeux d'esprit before you come into class. I don't expect to know any of you personally. My笔触 will be final examination papers. Nevertheless, I shall be willing to recommend you as your preparatory school teachers at the close of the year. I do this to accommodate a bureau of employment conducted by the college. The recommendations are read by those in authority, and I want them to sound correct. My last lesson shall now begin to read the notes, and I feel sure that you all will忘簟-mindedly take down erroneous notes in your usual illegible handwriting—Life. LEVITY WITH THE GRIND '18 (writing home)—Dear Dad, send me $500. Money makes the money. Father (by return mail)-Yours received. Enclosed $50. That ought be credited to you. First Freshman—Just took a dry cut in my compulsory exercise. First—Didn't go in swimming. He—I, don't think this coconut taffo is very good. do you? She- Oh, it's knotty, but it's nice—Illinois Siren. Young Artist—Mr. Editor, I would like to draw some tail-pie. Editor—Go ahead. We can use r Editor in this Poultry Number —Awgwan Oswald—Chauncey, you are a perfe ct ass. Chauncey—O no, my deach boy, none of us are perfect you know. -Aygwen All co-eds come to college in search of a husband and will admit it when on leave. Couplets were her favorite rhyme. Marriage caused her to outgrow it. Heartless Wretch Minnie used to be a poet; When is intemperance within the law? the famous horticulturist gushing. "Tell me," she begged, "the best way to distinguish the poisonous fungi 'rom the edible." The sweet young thing approached the fierce, burglar-like gobblingly. When a Frenchman gets a Teuton —Pelican "Eat 'em'!" **was** the curt rejoinder. A wire there was, quite full of juice. Some thousand volts or so. A man there was who came that way, A man who didn't know. A Wire There Was. He touched the wire. It's safe to bet He has not found his error vet. Think Hard. Silently, one by one on the grade cards of the dilatory students, blossomed the nightmare F's, the tragedy of the Funkers.,—Oregon Emerald. Phill. "I'm taking a course in mathematics on Monday afterterno's." —Pelican He hasn't found his error yet. —Pelican. Phil-"At the opera house studying figures." -Lehigh Burr. POETS CORNER And spatters my shoes with their Cordovan shine. The cuffs of my trousers are stiffened with ink. "That student's all right but he shakes out his pen. Pink socks I once wore, but now it's 'amen.' My nerves are a wreck and I never can think. Heard on the Second Day He peppers the floor with a polkadot sign They'll explain, I am sure, that he penned on the floor." - Michigan Daily. Now that potatoes have aspired to $3.20 a bushel, and other articles have soared accordingly, we can truly say, if things don't soon drop a little, this will be our National Hymn: My country, 'tis of thee, Land where my folks once could buy Things that are now so high- ward. Land where things used to be Our memories cling. Some of thy children swear That what they eat and wear Our memories cling. So help them, God. Thy people humbly crave To pull from out the grave Others avow that they Eat only once a day And for it cannot pay. At least one leg. We do not ask to dine On flesh of beef and swine, But give us. Lord Divine. One good fresh egg. Our fathers' land, with thee, Blest home of liberty. We choose to stop; We don't exactly like So soon to hencward hike; But we must hit the nike If things don't drop. THE FIRST TIME She was a young thing of perhaps fourteen summers, with short dresses and blonde hair and blue eyes. She sat at the central table of the east row in the library the other morning and was deeply interested in telling her classmate about an exciting experience she had had that morning; so she did not know that she was disturbing the quiet senior who was so busy writing at the opposite side of the room, because that a boy had just been in the act of asking for her for an engagement while they were in class that morning, and the instructor had asked him to recite just before he got through asking. "Oh, look," she said, excitedly, to her companion, "there he comes. Let's be studying something." So they each hastily grabbed a book and proceeded to scan the pages while they punched each other in the ribs with their elbows. One had an arithmetic and the other a physiology, which plainly showed them as belonging to the Prep department. Ah, Ah, another awkward sort of fellow, like one who has grown too fast and has just discovered that he has large hands and big feet, and doesn't know what to do with them. Under one arm he highly tucked three or four books and a big, red tablet. In the other hand he carried his cap. It never occurred to him to hang it on the rack. He was seeing things, and probably thinking them tool. First he stopped at the magazine rack; he didn't take his hands turned seventy them over; his eyes were on the girls. Then he wallied near by to the rear and began inspecting the book racks. “Tee bee,” went the girl. “I'll bet he comes back.” And he did. This time he stopped by her side and then him bumped in a chair after nearly falling over it. He seemed rather embarrassed at his sudden baldness and seemed to be hunting for something to say to re- conversation. He followed the following conversation took place: He's "All right, then, be ready." Orange and Black. I should say so-Orange and Black. He—"Say I can take you to the next Saturday night?" (This happens now.) He—"It's nice weather, ain't it?" She—"Yes" Purdue is one ready for the general adoption of the honor system. This is the unanimous opinion of members of the Student Council and members of the faculty committee on dishonesty as expressed at a conference held to consider plans for eliminating dishonest practice if possible, and of improving methods of dealing with dishonesty. In opening the discussion Prof. H. C. Pefer outlined the situation as follows: "Although scarcely realized by students the number of cases of dishonesty on which we are forced to pass judgment is astonishing. The committee believes that better conditions be enacted." Without eventually find a system suited to Purdue condition and I am convinced that this system, whatever it may be, must be based upon a better understanding between students and faculty." OPPOSE HONOR SYSTEM He—14:17. Hello. She—"Hello, Te, he-hee." He—"E-r-r. Hello!" The old gymnasium at the University of Indiana has been converted into a moving picture show. It would seem from what the "Daily Student" says that this picture show was formerly held in the auditorium of the Student Building, and that it was a student affair—Daily Texan. Drink Hb-All Gingerale. Best by Order From Mnish. Phones 109...84 Kodak finishing, differently better, iquires.—Adv. Little Egypt 5c Cigar. All Dealers —Adv. tf WANT ADS LOST—A liberal reward offered for return of a brown otter collarette lined with brown satin. Lost Saturday afternoon. Return to 1137 Ind. Use Gym for Movies WANTED—A lady to do educational work during vacation. Call Mrs. Williams, Bell 514W. 72lf. **EACHERS WANTED** - For every department of school work. Boards will soon commence to教老师 in on the first vacancies. Write today for blanks. Only 3½% C., Com., payload Nov. 1st. Territory, i.e. Iowa, Wisconsin, Minnesota, Nebraska, Dakotas and any other Don't Delay. Employment Blankers Heuer, Manager, 228-230 C. R. S. Bank, Cedar Rapids, 178-8f. LOST—Garnett brooch between 1127 Ohio and Fraser Hall. Reward. Bell phone 382. 98-4 WANTED TO RENT—Small modern cottage, with electricity and gas, located within fifteen-minute walk from University if possible; will occupy place at any time between March 15 and June 1. Call Bell 1927. 99-ft LOST — Monday at 11:30 a large hair pin with bristles. Please return to the office when available. LOST—One square middy tie on Indiana St. Return to Elizabeth Blakeslee, 1142 Ind. 99-2 FOR SALE—14-room house, near K. U., suitable for fraternities or rooming or clubs. This has never been offered on college campuses. Write "A" write of Daily Kansas. DR. H. L. CHAMBERS. General Practice 130 to 160. House and office phone, 800-745-9200. G, W. JONES, A, M. M. D. Diseases of the eye. Edited by L. C. H., University of Iowa. Boltzman's disease 187. Both phone. 355-290-7464. DR. H. REDING F. A. U. Building H. HOUGHTON F. A. U. Building Houra 9 to 6, Both phones 8132 N. MADISON 5 to 6, Both phones 8132 100-1 C. E. O'REILLE, M. M. Specialt-Elve- C. E. O'REILLE, M. M. Specialt-Elve- 1760, Dick Building CLASSIFIED KEEELER'S BOOKSTORE. 2935 Mass. St. for sale and rent. All wbpwrater sup- port. Books are $15-$40. Printing Printing B. H. DALE. job printing Both plones 238, 1027 Mass. FORNEY SHOP SHOP..1017 Mass. St. will make a mistake All work guaranteed. Shoe Shon WE MAKE OLD SHOES INTO NEW places to get results. 1242 Suite H PROTCH The Tailor The University Bank Why Not Carry Your Account Here? Citizens State Bank Deposits Guaranteed 1107 Mass. St. Lawrence, Kans. Work and Prices Always Right We also Repair and Cover Parasols. Students' Shoe Shop For BARBER WORK At the Foot of the 14th Street Hill in the Student District BERT WADHAM'S For BARBER WORK CONKLIN PENS are sold at McCulloch's Drug Store 847 Mass. Peoples State Bank Peoples State Bank Capital and Surplus $88,000.00 "EVERY BANKING SERVICE" A. G. ALRICH Printing, Binding, Engraving K Books, Loose Leaf Supplies Fountain Pens, Inks Typewriter Papers, Rubber Stamps Typewriter Papers, Rubber Stamps 744 Masm. S4. KEEPIN' cool under fire shows a good soldier—an' good tobacco. VELVET'S smoothness is larger by the result of its two years' Natural Ageing. Renting an Underwood Typewriter "The Machine You Will Eventually Buy." The popular Machine of the Business World is an endorsement of your good judgment. WATKINS NATIONAL BANK Capital $100,000 Surplus $100,000 Careful Attention Given to All Businesses PATRONIZE DAILY KANSAN ADVERTISERS GARDEN Theatre at 13th and McGee Kansas City ALL THIS WEEK A New Dramatization from AUGUSTA J. EVANS' Famous Novel Cars leave Lawrence every hour-thirty-five minutes after the hour Nights 8:20 THE KAW VALLEY INTERURBAN Homer B. MASON and Marguerite KEELER the presenting One-Act Play, "Married," by Porter Emerson Browne. MIRIAM AND IRENE MARMEIN Pantominic and Decorative Dancers. WALTER S. MARS Proprietor and Manager. will take you to Tenth and Main streets, Kansas City—in the heart of the theatre and shopping district. ERNIE POTTS & CO. ORPHEUM TRAVEL WEEKLY "Prince of Minstrels," EDDIE LEGNARD & CO., in "The Minstrel's Return." Assisted by Anthony Howard and Fred Mayo. Joe MORRIS and Flossie Campbell, "The Avi-Ate-Her." Third Episode of MRS. VER- NON CASTLE In "Patria" the Serial Supreme. ORPHEUM TRAVEL WEEKLY The World at Work and Play The World at Work and Play ANNA CHANDLER as "The Debutante." A Study of Song. Mabel RUSSELL and Marty WARD & CO., in "Call It What You Like." Next Week—MR. LOUIS MANN In "Some Warlors." Nights Matinee Matinees 10-25-50-75 Daily 10-25-50 Aotel Mueblebach Hotel Muehlebach BALMOUTH AVE. AND TIMELIN STREET Kayasan City No. 500 New Fireproof Rooms Rate from 1200 Under the Personal Direction of J. Whitmore and Joseph Reichl HOTEL KUPPER 11th and McGee Streets, Kansas City, Mo. Convenient to all theatres. Excellent cafe in connection. Let us figure on that next banquet. A good place to make your headquarters. Particularly desirable for ladies—being on Petticoat Lane—the center of the shopping district. HOTEL SAVOY 9th and Central Sts. Get off the Interurban at 8th and Central and walk one block south. Always meet your friends at this hotel.