UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
The official student paper of the University
EDITORIAL STAFF
**HERRYBIRD FIGHT** ... **Editor-in-Chief**
**JOHN G. MADDER** ... **Managing Editor**
**BENNIE W. MADDER** ... **Managing Editor**
BUSINESS STAFF
Edenwai Akira - Advertising Manager
Brown Eddie - Circulation Manager
Jon Bates - Advertising
REPORTIAL STAFI
REPORTIAL STAFF
RANDOLPH KENNEDY LUCY BARGER
SAM DEGEN J.W. DYKEE
Entered in second-1-clase mail matter
in the lawsuit against Lawrence, Kansas, under the act of March 20.
Published in the afternoon five times a week. In January, from the press of the department of
Subscription price $2.50 per year, in advance; one term, $1.50.
Phone, Bell K. U. 25.
Address all communications to
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN.
Lawrence, Kans.
The Daily Kanan aims to victory the media, and is willing to go further than merely printing the news by standing for the fearlessness of Kansan, to be clean; to be cheerful; to be more serious problems to wiser heads; to be more serious problems to ability students of the University.
TUESDAY, JANUARY 27, 1914
News Editor: Charles Gibson.
Editor Assistants: Leon Harsh, Howard Morgan, Frank O Sullivan.
Exchange editor, John M. Henry.
Society reporter, Lucie Hildinger.
Silence is more eloquent than words.—Caryle.
ONE-DAY ENROLLMENT
ONE-DAY ENROLLMENT Students should not forget that second semester enrollment is going to be finished in one day next week, and to make plans accordingly.
Time was when with a smaller enrollment than the school now has, two and three days were taken to enroll even in the second semester. But time is getting more and more precious as more efficient means of handling enrollment are developed; and who knows but that some time we shall take all our examinations in half the time it now takes?
Woe be to the fellow who playfully taps a friend upon the left arm during the next fortnight.
Our idea of zero in usefulness is a plus mark attached to a grade of III.
A SUCCESSFUL SENIOR CLASS
all indications go to show that this year's senior class is getting out of the failure column and putting precedent back into its proper place.
First, the Jayhawker seems an assured success. Already the seniors have backed the book to the extent of at least $2,000, and the way for future books is clear. Again, the seniors seem determined to revive the senior play this year—the senior play which died a lingering death last year, breaking a tradition.
It but remains for the seniors to leave a memorial and the class of 1914 may justly lay claim to a high position in the halls of class history.
Wish Bryan or David Starr Jardn would hustle over to Lawrence and deliver a "peace" lecture before finals.
It is bad enough for the professors to tell us we are going to flunk, but for the fact to be published from every telephone pole that we are FF (future flunkers) is worse still.
Along with J. P. Morgan and John D. one is compelled to place the professor who writes his own text-books.
THE DRIFT IS UPWARD
THE DRIFT IS UPWARD It is reported that the Lawrence pool halls may be closed soon by the city council.
The importance of keeping the surroundings of an educational institution above reproach is illustrated by recent events in Iowa. Last winter the Iowa State Legislature wrestled at length with the
"question" of abolishing saloons in Iowa City where the University is situated and finally did so. What Kansan would regard such a proposal as debatable?
Talk of abolishing pool halls may be poo-hooed, but we are to be congratulated that the city council recognizes the importance of the right surroundings for a University.
"There are 3,500,000 goats in Spain."—News note. Must have been some "New Yorkers" giving 'ango lessons there too.
Just because some professors are soldiers of the cross on Sunday they needn't advertise the fact on our quiz papers during the rest of the week.
CHANCE FOR A MEMORIAL
The strong wind that has been sweeping Mt. Oread the last few days has been playing havoc not only with derby hats and fancy plumes, but also with the trees and shrubs on the campus, many of which have badly mutilated. Of course the wind can not be commanded to cease, but the trees, lilac bushes and evergreen hedges can be replaced.
Suggestion for the next general catalogue of the University, heading "History and Location:"
Here is an excellent chance for a class memorial.
"The University of Kansas is located at Lawrence, a city of about 15,000 inhabitants. It offers many advantages as a place of residence, being a charming little city of rural simplicity and guileless youth."
Mid-week date rule forecast: Unsettled.
OUR DAILY QUIZ
Use honor system and grade yourself
(Bv Walt Mason)
It has always been understood that a poet should be lean and hungry looking. How can you be fat and be consistent?
Fat with me is merely a harmless eccentricity. In order to be a success a poet must have some eccentricity.
Would you advise a young man, ambitious for a career, to take up job
That depends upon the young man. If Nature ordained him to be a sewing machine agent he will waste his time flirting with the muse. At the hour of going to press there are 28 million poets in the United States, and less than a score of them can exchange their lyrics for meal tickets, so the outlook for the ambitious young man doesn't look bright.
Do you think Shakespeare were able to find the magazines if he were alive today?
He might work off a few rhymes on the North American Review and publications of that class, but the popular magazines would send his manuscripts back with the word "Rush" written across the envelope William was too fond of writing about the dead ones.
I don't care to go on record with the actual figures. But I have established the poetry business on a firm basis, and have fixed prices, just like the phonograph manufacturers. My lowest价 for a rhyme is $1.95 each. Of course I write some prose, to take the taste of the poetry out of my mouth, but I consider it merely a side line.
No. My favorite dish is corned beef and cabbage, and I am partial to fried onions. I eat three times a week and eat with great skill and enthusiasm.
What is your annual income from poetry?
How does the poetry business com-
Do you expect to make poetry your life's
work?
I'm the only one I can positively identify. The fact that I don't go around there, country reading from from "world" and my chief claim to a nation's gratitude.
Do you live on dates and pome-
granates and such things?
By no means. My highest ambition is to own a covered wagon and travel over the country trading horses. I have never bought to buy a string of ponies I expect to send my lyre to the junk man.
How many American poets make a living exclusively from poetry?
-Kansas City Star.
OFT IN THE STILLY NIGHT
The words of love then spoken;
The eyes that shone,
Now dimmed and gone.
Ere alumbre's chain has bound me,
Rued monstruo balena, the light.
Oft in the stilly night,
Of memory warm.
Of other days around me!
The smiles, the tears
Of boyhood years.
The cheerful hearts now broken
* * * *
I feel like one
Who treads alone
Some banquet-hall deserted. Whose lights are fled
Whose garlands dead,
And all but he departed!
—Thomas Moore.
The Blue Danube
(W. Y. Morgan in "The Near East")
But that is not the reason I came down there, which I did yesterday from Vienna to Buda Peesh. It was certainly the proper way to leave the West-European civilization of Austria and enter the semi-oriental of Hungary. But I wanted to waltz down the Beautiful Blue Danube which Mr. Strauss made famous, and that was why we embarked on our journey up it. We arrived miles of travel. I am in favor of the Danube and I am an admirer of Strauss. I have waltzed 17,000 miles to his Blue Danube music. But I must put it on record that Mr. Strauss is a beautiful prevaricator or is color-blind, for the Danube river is the shade of the Missouri river where the Czech is built. We are nearest for the Hutchinson News to warble hystericly about Blue Cow Creek as it was for the Viennese composer to hang those remarkably touching harmonies onto a Blue Danube. I set this fact down with a sad heart. I wanted to ride on the Blue Danube, and when the later reality touched my eyes only dirty yellow water, and not a limpid stream, it was certainly discouraging and even exasperating.
I felt as I did when I saw the Tiber, where "Horatius held the bridge," and realized that any good man could jump it in a couple of jumps. I suppose the Black Sea will not be black and the Bulgarians will wear sober scarfs and blouses. The poets, musicians and fashion leaders take too much license for a plain American citizen to keep up with.
"A COLLEGE JOKE TO CURE THE DUMPS"
—Swift, Cassinus and Peter
There was an old maid in Antrim
Who was a mask with a glim
Alcea and alsa.
The cause was the gas:
The cause was the gas
We withdrew the singe forty-fourth
hymn. Coyote.
Cannibal King: "What have we got for dinner, chef?"
Cannibal Chef: "Missionary stew,
yer honor."
yer nombo.
Cannibal King; "That's good."
Cannibal Chef; "Sure it's good. It was prayin' when we boiled it." — Pelican.
"Say, py zoology prof. has gone to a dipy retreat."
—Pelican.
What type of record is it? I prove that two porcupines made a prickly pie. Pearl records.
What's your idea of a supreme sacrifice?
Yale Record.
A Mormon paying spot cash for millinery bills. Punch Bowl
"No. Threw my shoulder out dancing the other night."
Father—"My son, will you get
your studies all right this
week?"
Harvard Lampoon.
"What's the matter, football accident?"
Truthful Son, *Son* "Oh yes, father, with E's" with *E's* Michigan Gargoyle.
First Stude—What are you going to do this summer?
Second Stude—Take a good loaf.
First Stude. I'm going to
school in school too.
"Bill, what is a fraternity?"
"It's a small body of big men entirely surrounded by compromise."
—Yale Record.
Ding—"Why is botany required in the journalistic and public speaking meetings?"
-Wisconsin Sphinx.
Bing—"To enable one to be flowery n speech and writing."
Dentist: "Want to let the waiters know it is not the patients."
Dentist's wife: "Why do you open the door of the patients' room when
Illinois Prom Siren.
Jester.
"Ask the Extension Division"
CHEER UP.
It may not be as bad as it seems The Extension Division will help you.
Take a course in:
[Entomology
Astronomy Botany Chemistry Economics Education Engineering English
[Intomology]
[German
Greek]
[History
Journalism
Latin
Mathematics]
Mineralogy and Geology
Pharmacy
Physics
Physiology
Public Speaking
Sociology
Zoology
Romance Languages
Correspondence-study Department Extension Division, University of Kansas. Lawrence, Kansas.
The University Daily Kansan
Is giving A Dollar for the Best Communication, says Student Life of Washington University, St. Louis.
The University Daily Kansan begs to deny the charge. It is however giving the biggest and best college newspaper in the country to every student, alumnus and faculty member from now until the end of the school year for $1.50
A. Greaceful High Band Notch Collar.
2 for 25 cents
Cluett, Peabody & Co., Inc. Maker
PROTSCH
A GOOD PLACE TO EAT AT
ANDERSON'S
OLD STAND
JOHNSON & TUTTLE
715 PROPS. Mass.
WATKINS NATIONAL BANK
Spring Suits Jan. 20
Capital $100,000
Surplus and profits $100,000
The Student Depository
PURE MILK
From a Sanitary Dairy
ROY DAY
8854 Bell
3456 Red Home
Wiedemann's the place where you do meet everybody—Adv.