UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN The official student paper of the University EDITORIAL STAFF HERRERT FUNT - --- - --- - Editor-in-Chi- GLENDRON ALYINE - --- - --- Associate Editi- MANSION MANAGER - --- - --- Manager LOREN LIAIRD - --- - --- Sport Ediort GLOSSENER - --- - --- High School Ediort BUSINESS STAFF EDWIN ARELLA • Advertising Manager JOB BINOMI • Circulating Managers JOB BINOMI • Advertising REPORTIAL STAFF RANDOM KENNEDY LOUC BARBER SAM BURKE LUCIE BARBER GENERALES W. DYCHE GENERALES Entered as second-1-class mail mails, from France, Kansas, under the aid of March 2014. Published in the afternoon five times a week, by students of the University of Kansas, from the press of the department of journalism. Subscription price $2.50 per year, in advance; term, $1.50. Phone, Bell K. U. 25. Address all communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN. Lawrence, Kans. The Daily Kaman aims to picture the students in a dynamic and energetic Kansas, to go further than merely print reports for the University holds; to play no favorites; to be clean; to be courageous; to leave more serious problems to user heads; to help students to identify the students of the University. WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 14, 1914 News Editor: Henry Maloy. Editorial Assistant: Ray Eldridge, Frank O'Sullivan. Exchange editor, John M. Henry. Society reporter, Lucille Hildinger Don't be a Prittle prattle, nor Prate apace, not be minding anything but what is said to you.— Erasmus. WOMEN READY FOR A DEAN OF WOMEN For the Dean of Women has work ahead of her. The mid-week date problem alone is no small matter. More especially, however, is a Dean of Women needed in connection with the dancing problem . If ever the University needed a Dean of Women, now is the time. The wisdom of the Board of Administration in arranging for such an advisor needs only her speedy selection and putting-to-work to completely fill a great need at the University. If the ruling that dancing must be kept out of the tango class is to be enforced—and if it is not, it should be repealed—the Dean of Women should play no small part in its enforcement. The University is ready for a Dean of Women. "Go to the tango reception last night?" "No. I—er—didn't have the price." Absence makes the marks grow rounder. PROFESSORLESS CHAPEL PROFESSORLESS CHAPEL To make chapel interesting for faculty members is quite as important as making it interesting for the student body. Yet the faculty section in chapel is always a little more vacant than the general assembly section. Evidently professors as well as students need encouragement about chapel attendance. Perhaps the faculty members are to be excused for irregularity of attendance because outside speakers have of late monopolized the platform. Professors no longer need go to chapel seeking pointers for their own turns at making speeches. Gone is the faculty delight of making criticisms of colleagues' talks; is it any wonder the faculty rows are empty nowadays? "The Schwartz-Ward Wit hSilides" Newspaper headline. A new dance? Since the College of Agriculture of Cornell University is to give a course in horseshoeing, the students there may be expected to travel over their quizzes "rough-shod." The ladies of the faculty should be careful in giving "mixed teas." Someone may want to include the tange variety. A CHANCE FOR THE MANY A CHANCE FOR THE Two hundred students would play handball if the athletic management would supply a few more courts. To make handball courts would not require a great outlay and the necessary number would not cost, perhaps, more than $100. At present the University has but a single court; most of the time this one is piled high with gymnasium chairs and other furniture. Part of the time it is locked and once in a while, when handball enthusiasts are fortunate, the court is in playing condition. Handball is an excellent means of exercise; and is so recognized by boxers, wrestlers, and others who play it to keep in training. Why can't the University have more hand ball courts? The ladies of the faculty are making a special effort this week to get better acquainted with University students. The means used is the tea to be given Thursday afternoon to the members of the sophomores and senior classes, the Graduate School, and special students. TO MEET THE LADIES If there is a barrier between the faculty and the students, the ladies of the faculty are going to help tear that barrier down. It remains for students to show the same spirit by turning out in full force at the reception. COLLEGE BRED VOLUNTEERS COLLEGE BRED VOLUNTEER The message in chapel yesterday brought from the recent Student Volunteer convention in Kansas City by University students who attended that meeting was of an inspiring and enlightening character. No longer can we think of the members of the army of Christian conquest as men of purely theological interests. The call is now for college trained men and women who are capable of handling successfully any problem that confronts them in a field where they must meet the most highly educated classes of all countries. "I'm not much of a mathematician," said the cigarette, "but I can add to a man's nervous troubles, I can subtract from his physical energy, I can multiply his achles paining, I can breathe and pow-wow. I can take interest from his work and can discount his chances for success." Weekly Exponent. SOME MATH GUN NEVER TOO OLD TO LEARN Date (synonym, a pair; sometimes a lemon); a crop on the tree of college life that never falls; harvest is best in暑季; harvest is hard for autumn; etc.; etc., mid-week; a species forbidden by the faculty, and therefore much more sought after. The college girl who blows in her allowance the day she gets it and then has to stretch $2.80 over the balance of the month knows just what elastic currency really is—Boston Transcript. NEVER TOO OLD TO BEKIND Somebody asked the Register not long ago what the newspapers would think if the farmers would get together and propose to send "some kid from the University" to the offices to teach them how to their business. The editors themselves seem to have supplied a pretty good answer, for they have arranged to part of the next meeting of the State Association held at the State University and the program provides for four days of instruction by the faculty of the School of Journalism. In other words, since the editors cannot get a "Newspaper adviser" to come to them, they are going to him. "Never too old to learn."—Charlie Scott in the Iola Register. Dancing (active); a major sport not accepted for gym credit, but which will be when we have a Dean of Women; a cross-country run set to music with a wild wind set to music for further desition see "faculty chaperono." Dun (dast part. of "due"); see "Lawrence, pantatoriums." K. U. DICTIONARY Debating (indicative most of the time); a sport deserving of K's; winter training for cross country runners; pastime for law students and College politicians. D You never have won a high succe sss. What is a failure? It's only a spur To a man who receives it right. And it makes the spirit within him To go in once more and fight If you never have failed, it's an even win. —Edmund Vance Cook. FAILURE CAMPUS OPINION Attendance at the University of Kansas is optional with the young men and women of the state. Those who enter its portals are supposed to be imbued with the ambition to master the sciences made available for them and in doing so to observe the standard requirements of the institution which thousands of others have found easy to meet. Perhaps there are some in the University who prefer the tango to their college work. Should this be true they are no doubt believers in the saw, "That if business interferences, dispense with business." Editor of the Daily Kansan: Whether or not the position taken by the University Council on the tango question is a tenable one, it is not up for discussion by students. The law has been laid down and to be observed. The citizens of the state have made possible through their financial assistance the gaining of an education of the greatest value to every Kansas youth, and in making this offering to the young men and women they only ask that their sacrifices be shown a trifle of appreciation at the least. The University Council does not believe that this appreciation can be made manifest in the tango, hesitation waltz, or the Boston. If you think the requirements are too rigid, remember you are not compelled to remain. This is a free country yet. "Tired of the Tango." Tony Weller's Marriage License "What do they do?" inquired the gentleman. "Do! You, sir! That ain't the worst of it, neither. They put things into old gen'mln'n heads as they never dreamed of. My father, sir, was a coachman. widower he was, and fat enough for ninety uncommon fat, to be sure. His miss- uncommon, and leaves him four hundred pound. "Down he goes to the Commons, to see the lawyer and draw the blunt—wery smart—top-boots on nose-gay in his buttonhole-broad-brimmed tile—the green shawl—quater-tailen'tile—the arch-howling, think how he should invest the money—up comes the touter, touches his hat. "An idea struck me." "The coward!" "A COLLEGE JOKE TO CURE THE DUMPS" "License, sir, license? 'What's that?' says my father. 'License sir,' says he, 'What license?' says my father. 'Marriage license', says the tuter. 'Dash my eskirit', says my father, 'I never thought o' that. I think you want one, sir', says the tuter. My father pulls. thinks a bit. No, say he 'damme, I'm too old' beside. I'm a many too sizes older.' says he. 'Not a bit airt', says the tuter. 'Think not?' says my father. 'I'm sure not', says he; 'we married a gen'mn' twice your size, last Monday. 'Did you, though,' said my father."—Charles Dickens. He—Darling, why are you so sad? She (gulping down a sash)—Oh what? I thought this will be our last evening together until tomorrow night! "Tired of the Tango." —Yale Record. Soon he looked up from his microscope and asked the Prof. for another He noticed that the cell was not empty! Its lone occupant was fastened well between the strong walls. Long rows of cells were on either side, and they also were occupied. Finally, —The Siren. Oh, she was all right, thanks. —The Siren. A Pathetic Tragedy After Thanksgiving. Hello, Mac. How was everybody at home? Enid—I think Mr. Mutt is the nicest ancer, he's so easy on his feet. —Puck. Silently, one by one, In the grade books of the instructors; Blossom the little zeroes, The forget-me-nots of the students. specimen. he forget-me-nots of the students. —The Gargoyle. After Vacation Myrtil-Humphi He may be only on his feet, but he was one. Garroville. The Basketball Season Has Started The University Daily Kansan prints the real live sport dope and in order that everyone may keep in touch with the team and the number of games that will be won the price has been placed at $1.50 from now until the close of the school year. June 5,1914. This offer will be open for a limited time only and no time subscriptions will be accepted at this price. 8854 Bell WATKINS NATIONAL BANK Capital $100,000 Surplus and profits $100,000 The Student Depository PURE MILK From a Sanitary Dairy ROY DAY 6456 Red Home SAM S. SHUBERT MAT. WED. & SAT. The Rainbow Next Week: Evelyn Nesbit Thaw See the New Parker Self-Filling Fountain Pen Office Supplies, Typewriters F. I. CARTER 1025 Mass. Bell phone 1051 A GOOD PLACE TO EAT AT ANDERSON'S OLD STAND JOHNSON & TUTTLE 715 PROPS. Mass. LAWRENCE Business College Lawrence, Kansas Lawrence, Kansas Largest and best equipped business college in Kansas. W. H. Quakenbush, Pres.; E. S. Wheeler, Supt. PROTSCH Spring Suits Jan. 20 LOST - Mosaic bracelet. Probably between Theta house and University. Reward for "return to Theta house. 73*3* Skating at auditorium Friday and Saturday afternoons and every night BOWERSOCK THEATRE Saturday, Jan. 17--Matinee and Night ARTHUR HAMMERSTEIN presents Edith Thayer in a new comedy opera Firefly direct from a record-breaking run at the Casino Theatre, New York Ensemble of 60--Company lies their augmented orchestra PRICES MATINEE--25c, 50c, 75c, $1.00, $1.50 NIGHT-- Parquet $2.00, $1.50, $1.00. Balcony $1.00, 75c Second Balcony 50c. Tickets may be ordered by mail now by sending check to Sherman Wiggins, Mgr. THE FLOWER SHOP has on hand a nice line of ferns and blooming plants as well as cut flowers. If interested call and see them. 825 Mass. Phones 621 LOST—A silk watch fob with a K. U. monogram attached. R. S. Brooks, 1225 Oread, Bell 2418. Skating at auditorium Friday and Saturday afternoons and every night S. G. Clarke has opened a cleaning and pressing establishment not run on the pantatorium plan. No tickets for sale. He IS BONDED. Call Bell 505. L. M. Chauberoff, Rep.-Adv.