UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
The official student paper of the University
EDITORIAL STAFF
HERBERT FLINT *...* **Editor-in-Chief**
GLENBROOK ALVINE *...* **Associate Editor**
JOHN LAIRD *...* **Museum Sport**
JOHN LAIRD *...* **School Editor**
John GLOSSEN *...* **High School Editor**
BUSINESS STAFF
**BENN ALEEL** • Advertising Manager
**JOSH BURR** • Advertising
**JOSE BIMORO** • Advertising
REPORTIAL STAFF
BARDORO KENNEDY  LUCI BARONER
J. A. GREENBREW  J. W. DYCHE
Entered in second-1class mail matter
received from the Bureau of
Lawrence, Kansas, under the act of March
Published in the afternoon five times a week. The manuscript is submitted to Kanaas, from the press of the department of Education.
Subscription price $2.50 per year, if advance; one term, $1.50.
Phone, Bell K. U. 25.
Address all communications to
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN.
Lawrence, Kans.
The Daily Kaman athletics to picture the campus scene. The school will go further than merely printing the news by stating its plans and playing no favorites; to be clean, to be cheerful; to be friendly; to be more serious problems to wiser heads; to be able to ability the students of the University.
FRIDAY, JANUARY 9, 1914
News Editor, John Gleissner
Editor, Assistant: Throck Davidson
Henan Hays, Ron O'Sullivan, John Henry
Exchange editor, John M. Henry.
 Society reporter, Lucile Hildinger.
God send every one their heart's desire. - Shakespeare.
QUIZ TERRORS FOR EDITORS The University is indeed fortunate to be able to share with the State Agricultural College a visit from the editors of today who visit Mt. Oread next May.
Just the same, the Kansas editors who ride to and from their grill offices and brown stone mansions in their limousines will for at least once in their lives know what real labor is when they tackle that Short Course in journalism up here.
The newspaper men over the state may think that the University is a center of pleasure for the gilded youth of Kansas; but just let them wait. The haunting spectre of quiz day, which is no respector of persons, is liable to dog their footsteps also if they don't look out.
A fellow's best friend is his mother, but his father sends the checks.
START BUILDING NOW
The women students of the University ask for a vote on the subject of mid-week dates. Since the men are also concerned in this movement, a cry for equal suffrage is in order.
According to Maloy, the Student Council has indeed become a grave matter.
START BUILDING NOW
Now that the Christmas holidays have been safely survived, why not begin laying plans on a sound basis for a Student Union?
When the realization comes that a modest but successful start should be the aim of the backers of this project, the work of supplying what is the greatest need for our stuednt body will have been started.
A careful plan, a modest start, a little perseverance, and the Student Union will be more than a more dream.
"College Students Meet for Missions" is a Star head to a Student Volunteer story. Shouldn't it read, "For Cannibals?"
There will be no "army of the unemployed" at K. U. during this month.
One W. S. G. A. officer to another
"Well, who cares a fig for mid
week dates, anyhow?"
"Oxford Professors Will Originate S. P. C. E." Newspaper headline. Why not turn their attention to the H. C. of L?
TO THE FRONT!
The School of Medicine of the University of Kansas is in "Class A." according to N. D. Colwell, a representative of the Council of Education of the American Medical Association. In other words, our medical school ranks with the largest in the country in quality of courses offered and value of degrees granted.
The high standards now required in American medical work and the fact that the Rosedale school meets these fully gives Kansas just cause to be gratified that her medical school stands in the first rank.
Some people are said to look like thirty cents, but not our seniors since the Jayhawker manager has declared that the "old masters" are worth $1.50 each.
Black is the least visible color at night according to army experts, but red is the most visible at any old time, according to student experts.
A student will work problems on an adding machine, says a Kansas headline. Bet he can't solve the problem of the high cost of living that way.
BITTER, BUT WE MUST!
In the hope of securing better attendance at the art exhibit to be held here in February, the directors have made it free to students. An excellent idea, especially so near after Christmas. The few students who attended last year's exhibit, paying perfectly good money for the privilege, will not need to be urged to go again this year.
But free entry alone will not necessarily insure a large attendance when the student body as a whole appears to be afraid of attending anything where "real art," that fearful bugaboo, is being shown. In view of this fact, the effort to secure this excellent collection of pictures, primarily for the pleasure and profit of the students, is liable to fall short of the desired result unless each of us nerves himself to the ordeal of climbing to the third floor of the Administration building and submits to the torture of looking at some beautiful paintings.
If each senior was scared $1.50 by the announcement in the Kansan that he would have to pay that sum in excess of the usual assessment for his cut, the total scare that evening was valued at $475.
"Noah Says Dr. Naismith Invented Basketball."—Kansas headline. Let's see; wasn't Noah the fellow that invented water polo?
Eight students are taking dairy work in the graduate school of the University of Missouri. Query: Have they had occasion to study the milk of human kindness yet?
OUR DAILY QUIZ
Use honor system and grade yourself
The secret of success is constancy of purpose.—bibraeli.
A—A store room for chairs and other gymnasium furniture. It is marked "Faculty" on the door, and is usually locked. Sometimes two members of the faculty find the door unlocked and in which case, in which case the court is monopolized from six to fifty-nine minutes.
Q — Explanation
A — Either two or four players
are either to make each other to make
and the wall at the proper angle. No
on but hand ball enthusiasts under-
a small rubber ball strike the floor
stand the angle.
A. It is a substitute for golf play ed by itinerant facultii.
Q. -No one plays.
A. -Two hundred students if the athletic powers would only provide enough courts.
Q—How is the game decided?
A —The team losing the greatest annual contest.
Q. —What is your personal opinion of handball?
HANDBALL
Q——What is the handball court at Kansas used for principally?
Q. —Explain the game.
A—No game for Tiddle-de-winks experts.
'Tis not in seeking,
'Tis not in endless striving,
Thy quest is found.
Be still and listen;
Be still and drink the quiet
Of all around.
Not for thy crying,
Not for thy loud beseeching,
Will peace draw near:
Rest with palms folded;
Rest with thine eyelids fallen,
Lo! peace is here.
PEACE
'Tis not in seeking,
—Edward Rowland Sill.
And, having thus chosen our course let us renew our trust in God and go forward without fear and manly hearts.-Abraham Lincoln.
The eggstance of an egg trust has been denied, says the Winfield Free Press. But still only the eggsgravitagrant housewife will eggcause the use of an eggstraggt egg. The eggsextraordinary price of eggs is hard to eggplain eggcase on the theory that the eggscutive committee of the layers is eggspressing its eggsgrete eggsasperation in the eggscissive eggstent the eggposstation eggspressed by eggsgised hen eggsgpect eggspect eggs, and whose eggliestives need to be eggspurgated when they eggsplose the hens' nests without finding any. But there's no use getting eggscissed. You can eggist even if eggs have made their eggsgit from the menu. Their eggselence has been greatly eggsgagerged—Wellington Journal.
EGGING IT ON
THE OLD SONGS
I'm fond of "Annie Laurie;" to hear it is a boon. Nobody in that song declares that he's a Zilla fan. —Washington Hera
And I like "Highland Mary;"
I like "The Miller's Daughter," I do: I always did,
His loved one is a bear.
—Cleveland Plain Dealer.
But no one in that song asserts His loved one is a bear.
Yet no one in that lyric says,
Believe him, she's some kid!
—New York Mail.
And i like "Swanee River," When uttered sweet and low,
And I like "Swane River," when uttered sweet and low, For no one in that song confides That not another we bear
For no one in that song confines
That mother's got a beau.
—Judge
I like "Last Rose of Summer,"
Because it's sweet and clean
And all the lines and all the words Are there for what they mean. —Parsons Sun.
"I just adore caviar."
And I like "Crimson and The Blue"
For it gives inspiration.
And ne'e' a word nor line of it
Does English desecration.
"I can't he a swell singer?" —Columbia Jester.
"A COLLEGE JOKE TO CURE THE DUMPS" Safe, Conscious and Peter
Prof., "A fool can ask more questions than a wise man can answer."
Stude, "No wonder so many of us flunk in our exams." -Pen State Froth.
STOOD UP
"That's all right;" the fellow "has engaged to." —Texas Coyote.
Little Willie—"What is a lawyer, pa?"
The Right Fellow
Pa—"A lawyer, my son, is a man who induces two other men to strip for a fight, and then runs off with their clothes." —Crescent.
She waited at the church in vain.
Where could the bridegroom be?
Cause and Effect
Deluge Warning
problem kindly tap him on the head?" V, F, P. R--don't do it; you'll flood the room."—Dartmouth Jack O'Lantern.
Illustrated Psychology Note
The average man's arm is thirty inches long; the average woman's waist is thirty inches around. How wonderful are they works, oh Nature! — Princeton Tiger.
"It must be great to be a man! One dress suit lasts you for years and years, and a woman must have a new gown for every party."
he waited at the church in vain.
Where could the bridegroom be
of fear this wedding will go off
"That's why one dress lasts a man for years and years." Judge.
Prof.—"Jones is asleep. Will
sneem kindly tap him on the head?"
"Excuse me; can I speak to your typewriter a moment?"
typewriter a monster.
"You cannot; she is engaged."
Without a hitch," said she.
——Columbia Jester.
The Basketball Season Has Started
The University Daily Kansan prints the real live sport dope and in order that everyone may keep in touch with the team and the number of games that will be won the price has been placed at
$1.50
from now until the close of the school year, June 5,1914. This offer will be open for a limited time only and no time subscriptions will be accepted at this price.
A GOOD PLACE TO EAT AT
ANDERSON'S
OLD STAND
JOHNSON & TUTTLE
715 PROPS. Mass.
Lowneys and Morses Chocolates
McCOLLOCH'S Drug Store.
See the New Parker
Self-Filling Fountain Pan
Office Supplies, Typewriters
F. I. CARTER
1025 Mass. Bell phone 1061
Biznsss College
Lawrence, Kansas.
Largest and best equipped business college in Kansas. W. H. Quakenbush, Pres.; E. S. Weatherby, Supt.
PURE MILK
From a Sanitary Dairy
ROY DAY
8854 Bell
6456 Red Home
THE STUDENTS' PROTECTION
S. G. Clarke, Agent for Ed. V. Price
Cleaning and Pressing
No Tickets For Sale
WE ARE BOOKED
707 Mass. Bell 505
Linda M. Chubbey, Rep
Louis M. Chubaroff, Rep.
BOWERSOCK THEATRE
ARTHUR HAMMERSTEIN presents
Saturday, Jan. 17--Matinee and Night RTHUR HAMMERSTEIN
Edith Thayer
in a new comedy
opera
direct from a record-breaking run at the Casino Theatre, New York Ensemble of 60--Company ries their augmented orchestra
PRICES
MATINEE--25c, 50c, 75c, $1.00, $1.50
NIGHT-- Parquet $8.00, $1.50, $1.00. Balcony $1.00, 75c Second Balcony 50c.
Tickets may be ordered by mail now by sending check to Sherman Wiggins, Mgr.
PHONE
100 FOR TAXICABS PEERLESS GARAGE, Phone 100
THE FLOWER SHOP
Quality as usual in all seasonable Cut flowers Mr. and Mrs. Geo. Ecke, Leading Florists 8251/2 Mass. Phones 621