UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
The official student paper of the University of Kansas
HERBERT FUNK
MILWAUKEE - MARY JENNINGS
LANGGE LAND
HARVARD - SAM BENNETT
KIDS EDITOR
SUPP EDITOR
High School
High School
EDITOKIAL STAFF
BUSINESS STAFF
ADN' PALMER
ANN' PALMER
RAY EIDORD
RAY EIDORD
Business Manager
Administrator
Circulation Manager
Management
REPORTORIAL STAFF
REPORTEOAL
LUCE BARGER
GLENDAY ALVINE
HENRY MALOY
KANOLPH KENNEDY
KANOLPH KENNEDY
Entered as second-class mail matter September 17, 1910, at the postoffice at Lawrence, Kansas, under the act of June 28, 1910.
Published in the afternoon five times by students of the University of Kansas, from a department of journalism
in the law course in advance; one term. $1.50.
Lawrence.
Phone, Bell K. U. 25.
Address all communications to
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN,
Lansing.
MONDAY, OCTOBER 20, 1913.
The Daily Kansas aims to picture the undergraduate life of the University of Kansas; to counsel students in the university halls; to play favors, to be clean; to be cheerful; to be charitable; to be courageous; to learn more about college life; to allure, in all, to the best of its ability the students of the University.
THE HIDDEN GLACIER
There is not time for hate, O wasteful friend.
Put hate away until the aged end.
Have you an ancient wound? Forget the wrong—
Out in my West a forest land with song
Towers high and green over a field of snow,
Over a glacier buried far below.
Edwin Markham.
Regarding Drake, we wonder if the female of the species is more deadly than the male.
WE GIVE IT TO YOU, DRAKE
Kansas must give all credit to Drake for its stand on its one-foot line Saturday, even though the Jayhawkers won decisively.
To hold a team that made the ground Kansas did Saturday four times with but a man's length to go is something any sportsman likes to see. Kansas recognizes in Drake an exceedingly worthy fee.
By the way, who is the feminine of drake?
ALL TOGETHER, SENIORS
The seniors are to be congratulated upon having decided at last to put out an annual. Of course such a decision was bound to come when the class got together and thought the matter over.
It is to be hoped that those of the class that didn't attend the meeting will concur with the meeting's decision and back the annual first, last and all the time.
Thanks to the favorable weather Saturday, Drake didn't get a ducking.
CHRONIC OPTIMISTS
We just can't help it, that's why.
White it is highly amusing in some ways to hear the all-victorious talk at Kansas each year until Washburn or Nebraska puts a crimp in our championship hopes, such an attitude toward what the team is going to do is, after all, the only natural thing to expect, and as such should be excused away.
It's the same sort of spirit that keeps our western Kansas farmers going even though they have to borrow seed wheat for the next crop. We are born to believe we can beat anybody anytime; we're chronic optimists.
It's Kansas hope and optimism that makes us pull for an all-victorious team each year, even though sanity would tell us we hardly have one chance in ten to beat both Nebraska and Missouri after meeting Drake, Oklahoma and the Aggies.
ENGINEERS ARE FOR "REFORM"
The students in the School of Engineering took the first step toward dancing reform at their meeting last night. In the future only the waltz, two-step and modified forms of the Boston, will be permitted at their dances—University Missouri.
DRY AND DUSTY
At Cornell University liquor is the issue in the class election to be held next week. The junior class is divided into "Wets" and "Drys" and the vote Wednesday will decide whether or not alcoholic liquors will be served at the various class functions.
It appears from the account in the Cornell Daily Sun that the liquor question has caused dissention before at Ithica and that wet and dry sentiment will be given another test. Here in Kansas liquor is no longer an issue. Carrie Nation and others have fought the Demon Rum and driven it from the state, and Kansas is thriving under prohibition. At the University of Kansas we other things than booze to occupy our minds and ballot on.
Our Funny Language
A sleeper is one who sleeps. A sleeper is that in which a sleeper sleeps. A sleeper is that on which the sleeper runs while the sleeper sleeps. Therefore, while the sleeper sleeps in the sleeper the sleeper carries the sleeper over the sleeper under the sleeper until the sleeper, which carries the sleeper, jumps the sleeper and wakes the sleeper in the sleeper by striking the sleeper under the sleeper on the sleeper, and there is no longer any sleep for the sleeper sleeping in the sleeper on the sleeper.
Ladies' Home Journal.
I noticed in Friday's issue of the Kansan that the Y. W. C. A. is going to have an open meeting devoted to the discussion of cheating. It seems to me that there are many more important questions for such a body to discuss than the insignificant one of cheating. Why doesn't it consider the questions really vital to the University girls?
COMMUNICATIONS.
(Communications to the Daily Kansan must be signed as an evidence of good faith, though not necessarily for publication. The column is open to all Daily Kansan readers)
To The Daily Kansan:—
Ode
Abus—ed Germ,
Whose fair bacillian head
Is target for
The shots of hop,
Materia Med
Pokes gally, daily
Thru th' epidermal hide
Of genus homo;
I hail thee, Brother!
Grasp thee by the mitt,
Thou universal, undiscernable Nix
Cornell Widow.
H. Maloy, Editor
(Besides being a cartoonist of state-wide reputation, Henry Maloy, the Daily Kansan's funny man, is also something of an editor as the following bit of satire shows)
STUDENT.
DEMANDS INVESTIGATION
Because the treasurer of the Greenwood County Club boodled eighty-tree cents of the club money there may be no organization this year.
All students who were here last year remember the brilliant work carried by this club along orthogonal lines. Their spelling teams was known all over the state. They spelled "prunes," and laid all other country clubs in the grass when the contests were pulled off. They went home Christmas in a special car, they invented a hair cutting machine that brought the eyes of the scientific world upon them; and now after a record like this, because a treasurer bondles the eighty-three cents left in the treasury from last year, dessension has arisen among the members and they declare they will not formulate a county club.
"Can't something be done?" asked a prominent member of the faculty this morning, when he heard of the sad event. "Don't county clubs come under the supervision of the Student Council so that the undesirable treasurer can be expelled from school?"
The matter will be taken up at the next Student Council meeting.
To Find Your Collar Button
Here are two sure ways to find a collar button that has dropped on the floor and rolled away where you can't see it:
Rule 1—Walk around the room in your bare feet. You will soon find the collar button imbedded in your heel.
Rule 2—Put on a pair of heavy boots and walk around the room. You will soon step on the collar button and mash it flat.
—Cincinnati Enquirer.
Unfamiliar Verses
THE INN
Life's an inn, nor may we stay
Where we lord it for a day,
Dreaming, as the time slips by,
Ours the rooms we occupy.
Nay; to the be well-bestowed,
Other guests are on the road.
Friend, our moment comes to go!
The Position waits below!
And these halls that we have known,
Fondly thought of as our own,
Keep of us no further trace
Than the mirror of our face.
Quickly, are the summons falls.
Write thy name upon the walls.
Mary. Elenges. Robert
THE PLACE OF PEACE
—Mary Eleanor Roberts.
THE SNOWDROP
At the heart of the cyclone tearing the sky
And flinging the clouds and the towers by,
Is a place of central calm:
So here in the roar of mortal things,
I have a place where my spirit sings,
In the hollow of God's Palm.
—Edwin Markham.
I saw a smiling infant laid
In its fond mother's arms;
Around its rosy cheeks there played
A thousand dimpling charms.
I saw a snowdrop on the bed,
Green taper leaves among;
White as the driven snow, its head
On the slim stalk was hung.
The wintry wind came sweeping o'er,
A bitter tempest blew;
The snowdrop faded—never more
To glitter with the dew.
And in the earth so cold,
I saw the little coffin dropped,
And covered up with mould.
-Walter Beverley Crane.
One day, its beating heart was stopped.
W. C. M'CONNELLE, Physician, and
Hospital Home 106-354, Indiana, 13406. Tenn St.
Home 106-354, Indiana, 13406.
J. F. BROCK, Optometrist and Specialist
Office 802 Mass Mp. Phone 616.
Bell phone 605.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS
J. R. BEGHTEL, M. D., D. O. 833 Mass-
Street. Both phones, office and
J. W. O'RYAN. Dentist, Over Wilson's Drug Store. Bell Phone 507.
O. A. HAMMAN, M. D. Eye, ear, and
tort specialist. Glasses, Gear,
Satisfaction Guaranteed. Dikk Building.
DR. H. W. HAYNE, Oculist, Lawrence.
HARRY REDING. M. D Eye, ear, nose and throat. A A A A. A A A. 513. Home 513. Home 513. Home
CLASSIFIED
adрес.
G. W. JONES, A. M. M. D. Discusses the stomach surgery and ginecology.
H. H. R. K. Readiness, 1501 Ohio St. Both phones, 35.
DR. H. T. JONES, Room 12 F. A. H. Readiness, Phone 214 Ohio St. Both phones.
DR. H. CHAMBERS, Office over Squiree Studio. Both phones.
DR. BURT R. WHITE
Oatpalm,
Phones. Home 257,
Office. 745 Mass. St.
Frank liff's Barber Shop, 1025 Mass.
Two good baiters. Satisfaction assured.
J. C. Moore's Barber Shop, 913 Mass.
Chairs never have to walk. Razors haven't
never have to walk. Razors haven't
Phone Kennedy Plumbing Co. for gas
Mazda lamps 047 Miss.
Phone 658.
Plumbers
Ladies Tailors
Mrs. Ellison, Dressmaking and Ladies
Phones, Mobile Phones 2411, over
Johnson & Carlm
Ladies Taloring and Dressmaking. Gowns for all occasions. All work guaranteed.
Mrs. B. Daily. 914 Mass. Sanitary establishment in connection. Phone 421 Iel.
Hairdressing, shampooing, scalp and facial massage, shampooing, hair-gifts, "Maries' Hairdressers," for women. For consultations call 412-569-5011, form 51. The Select Hair Dress Shop, 927 Mass St.
Lawrence Sewing School, Ladd's tailoring and dressmaking. Sewing school 814 Mass.
Phones 550. Miss Powers: Miss C. McClarney.
Hair Dressers
Sporting Goods
D & M sporting goods and athletic supplies.
Damaged & Krest. 826 Mass. S.
Phones 1443-577-6900.
Queen City College. System and sewing taught. Dress-making in connection with school. Mrs. G. Mark Brown, 834 Bk. Ky. Ele74.
Ed. W. Parsons, Engraver, Watchman and Jeweler. Diamonds and jewelry. Bell Phone 717. 717 Mass.
FALL OPENING
LAWRENCE Business College Lawrence, Kansas.
Large Cool Comfortable Dining Room with prompt service.
O. E. LEARNARD Manager
THE WATKINS NATIONAL BANK
Annual $100,000
708-710 Mass.
Capital $100,000 Corner Mass. and Quincy Sts. Surplus $100,000 Issues its own letters of Credit and Travellers Checks. The only way to carry your money is in a safe deposit box so it is selffilled.
Banking of all kinds solicited.
Eldridge House Stable
Special rates to club "feeds."
See the New Parker Self-Filling Fountain Pen Office Supplies, Typewriters F. I. CARTER 25 Mass Bell phone 10
W. E. MOAK, Prop.
Taxicabs, Hacks, Livery
Baggage Hauled
Both Phone 148
1025 Mass. Bell phone 1051
Come on Down
to
JIM'S
Tonight
1101 Mass. St.
Buy a commutation ticket.
Fairfax Hotel and Dining Room
Chocolate, strawberry, vanilla,
caramel nut, brown bread, is the
menu to accompany week-end
Reynolds' Brown 1031 Mass.
Ball 645. Home 358-392.
McColloch's Drug Store
Author (delightedly)—"You think so?"
-Boston Transcript.
The Way of Life
—Ladies' Home Journal.
Critic—"The heroine of your story, old man, is simply wonderful."
Author (delightedly)—“You think so?” Critic—"Yes. You say on page ten that she hissed, 'You are a liar!' and any woman who can hiss such a sentence that can't help being wonderful."
Chicago Record-Herald.
Good Here
The Way of Life
I used to think I knew I knew
But now, I must confess
The more I know I know I know,
I know I know the less.
—Ladies' Home
"I can't understand how you have the presumption to think I would permit my daughter to become your wife." "It does seem rather surprising, I suppose; but cheer up. You're not half as badly upset as I was when she suggested it to me."
Cornell Widow.
"Well," replied the crane, "There's no chance of my learning to sing, so I'm practicing to see if I can't become a classic dancer.
Flossy—How do you like my new dress?
Harry—It's ripping!
Flossy—Quick, call a taxi!
"What makes you stand on one foot and move your shoulders in that way?" asked the snipe.
-Washington Star.
He—There's one thing I'll miss very much this winter
She (tenderly)—What's that, dear?
He—Breakfast. I've six eight o'clocks.
Jack o' Lantern.
The man glanced at it and became interested. He read it through from cover to cover.
At 10:35 he was suffering from malaria, dyspepsia, insomnia, lumbago, blood-poisoning, cancer, and rheumalitis.
Power of Suggestion
The man was mate and fiercely at 10 a.m.
At 10:05 one handed him a patent-medicine al-
AURORA
—Cincinnati Enquirer.
Altruistic
Marie—"Well?"
Rose."He has no life-insurance, and I pitied his poor old mother."
Rose—"He said he would kiss me or die in the at-
**rose.**
—Ohio State Sun-Dal.
Walter Johnson today
GRAND
Always a Good Show
Charlie Wah
Chinese Laundry
7 East Henry St. Bell Phone 626
ASK FOR PRICES
Sam. S. Shubert Robert Mantell "King John" Today
All University organizations which wish to be mentioned in the program should hand the name of the same and its officers to Registrar Foster at once.
His Kind.
A traveler who believed himself to be sole survivor of a shipwreck upon a cannibal island for three days, in terror of his life. Driven out by hunger, he discovered a thin wisp of smoke rising from a clump of bushes inland, and crawled carefully to study the type of savages about it. Just as he reached the clump he heard a voice say: "Why in hell did you play that card?" He dropped on his knees and, devoutly raising his hands, cried:
Corrected.
-Everybody's.
Street Bandit to Professor—"If you move you are a dead man!"
"You're wrong, my man. If I move it will show that I am alive. You should be more careful in the use of your words."
Last Extremity.
—Life.
Clara—"May I borrow your beaded belt, dear?"
Boss—"Certainly. But why all this formality of asking permission?"
"I can't find it."
Smart Set.
Bing—The way these colleges scatter around their degrees is absolutely nauseating. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry with a little cheap notorius can figure on getting one. The whole system is absolutely indefensible. Don't
Odious, Ain't It?
Bang—"Yes. I didn't get one either." —Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Main Thing
Cub Reporter—"I guess I'll have all my work copyrighted."
City Editor-"Never mind that Just have the copy right."
Judge.
Both Necessary
**Both necessary**
The parting from brother
Was tenfold bad.
"Be good," whispered mother.
"Make good," counseled dad.
Pittsburg Post.
A Flaming Finish
"My grandfather," said the old-timer, "used to put all his money in his stocking."
"Wa-al, things haint't changed much," said his old friend, "My grandson, who's takin'a course in modern deportment at one' o' them Eastern colleges, puts most all his money into socks."
Judge