UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
The official student paper of the University of Kansas.
EDITORIAL STAFF
BUSINESS STAFF
OMAR HITE,
MARTIN MAYON,
HARBERT FUNN,
Margaret Editor
JAMES LEIDH . . . . . . . Adv. Mgr.
JOHN C. MADDEN . . . Circulation Mgr.
KANSAN BOARD
EDWARD HOPFMAN LANSON LAIBE
FRANK HENDERSON LELAND THOMPSON
LUCY BARGER JOHN GLEISNER
H. B. HUTCHINGS Leslie E. EDMONDS
Published in the afternoon five times a week, by students of the University of Kansas, from the press of the department of journalism.
Subscription price $2.00 per year, in advance; one term, $1.00; time subscriptions, $2.50 per year; one term, $1.25.
Phone, Bell K. U. 25.
Address all communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, Lawrence.
FRIDAY, MAY 23, 1913.
Editorial page today in charge of HENRY MALOY
The honorable gentleman is indebted to his memory for his win and to his imagination for his facts
—Butke.
PROFS
Like the case of the hen and the egg it is not known definitely which was here first,—the Prof or the Student.
Profs are useful chiefly to make a showing of how meager the state appropriations are, by leaving all in a bunch as soon as the legislature adjourns to accept positions of higher salary. Vice Chancellors, Deans and other all do this and find it very effective. The only trouble is that by the time the legislature convenes again two years later their loss is forgotten by the statesmen and the appropriations are cut again.
The latest nineteen thirteen model sixty horsepower self-starter Professor seems to wear no whiskers at all, like the cartoon of our faculty indicates but on the contrary he looks almost like a real man.
Some Profs are men, some are women, and still others are suffragetes. Men receive more salary because they are men, women less because they are women and suffs should suffer because they are suffs.
The old time professor crawled into his shell as soon as he got his degree and from then on he was dead to the world outside of his class. But the modern Prof. plays golf, goes to the nickel, smokes, goes fishing, drinks Coco Cola, and plays pinchole.
Professors teach different things. Some teach Chinamen, some Indians, and some teach the Ethiopian; but all agree that it is almost impossible to teach the Caucasian anything.
Occasionally a Prof goes to chapel.
Last fall 2403 students said they were going to walk out to Blue Mound before the end of the year. Up to date about a dozen have made the trip.
THE HOME STRETCH
We are now on the home stretch of the year 1912-13. With some it is now a test to see whether the ever thinning trouser's seat will last until the end of school and we can get home. With others it is a test to see whether we can "stall the prof. off" a little longer without letting him find out how little we know about his subject. And with still others it is a question as to whether that last ten dollars after deducting two dollars for R. R. fare, will carry us through.
And what will these students do when at length the year is over and the final sprint finished?
Ah! Some will go home and mow
the lawn between smokes and next fall dad will yield up a few hundred dollars to them because they helped him so much during the summer. But for others it is a harder matter to spend the vacation. It is necessary for them to take get-rich-quick lessons from professional grafters so that they can bunco the farmer, and the unsuspecting housewife with sure cures for corns on the car, headache in the head and backache in the back—because money must be acquired during the summer by some means.
How different is our view of life now from that we held when we used to chase around barefooted among the stubble fighting bumble bees' nests with paddles for the honey that was to be had at the end of an hour's fight with the bumbling insects! How with great swelled places on our cheeks and on our bare legs we would tell our friends of the big fight with no less zeal than a Wellington would tell of his victory over Napoleon!
But those days when our wardrobe consisted of a blue shirt and a pair of overalls are gone and with it went the carefree attitude that hangs around the swimming pool and the trapeze out in the old apple tree. The college man begins to look upon the world with the thought that there is a hole in civilization that he must fill.
The "Home Stretch," therefore in college brings different visions to the home stretch of the school year when we were in the fourth grade.
Burning the freshman caps does not necessarily make it impossible to be a freshman again next year.
A student has discovered why landlades are called such. His landlady landed on him the other night for starting a rough house.
THE DECISION REVERSED
THE DECISION REVERSED
While it is true that Wednesday's Daily Kansan editorially favored retaining the Missouri-Kansas game on college grounds, nevertheless we wish the readers to understand that every issue of this publication stands strictly on its own feet and the editor of one day makes what faces he likes at his predecessor.
Therefore in today's paper, there being a different pilot on deck with views that he knows are right, we favor taking this tiger meat barbecue back to the logical place,—Kansas City. And why do we?
There are two reasons, money and alumni.
The net advantage of twisting the yellow beast's fly swatter in Kansas City over doing it in Lawrence or Columbia is sixteen thousand dollars or eight thousand for each school. Is there a financial advantage? Who denies it? Nobody. All right let this point pass since there is no objection.
Again, it is said that having the game here brings the old grad back to the University and lets him meet his old acquaintances. It is true that it brings a few, but because of the inability of Lawrence hotels to accommodate the crowd it is necessary to get out of this high brow town as soon as the final whistle blows. What is the result? The great homecoming in which said grad was to meet his whole class has resulted in shaking the paws of perhaps a dozen people, and he is gone again; whereas in Kansas City the crowd conregates at the hotels and the members meet hundreds of other friends. As we remarked at the start, Kansas City is the place that provides the cash and the alumni jollifications.
"I had the first co-ed express thanks this morning to holding the loor open for her," said Jimmy Spilvens this morning, "I have stood and held doors open sometimes while at least twenty fair damsless passed in and not one would even sod appreciation. The girl who thanked me this morning is a freshman."
OLD FRIENDS IN VERSE
The Daily Kansan will publish in this space favorite verses of its readers. Contributions welcome.—The Editor.
O'er the far blue mountain, over the white sea foam.
When the bright fire shineth, sad looks
thy place;
THE RECALL
Come, thon long-parted one, back to thy home:
While the true heart pinch, missing thy face.
Music is sorrowful since those art gone,
Sisters are mourning thee; come to thine own.
Hark! the home voices call back to the rest;
LEAKS FROM A CUB'S THINK TANK
one to thy father's hall, thy mother's breast—Mrs. Hems.
This is too good a one to let pass, so here goes another one: The silk sox inducement will undoubtedly put the on a better "footing."
Students in the poetry class are looking for a word to rhyme with "exam" and yet stay out of profanity.
"Pairing" has been announced for the tennis matches. Evidently somebody will be skinned, also.
The reason freshmen would not burn their caps this morning is that they can sell them next year to incoming freshmen along with chapel tickets for six bits or a dollar. Frankly, we paid seventy-five cents for ours to get it cheap. But we worked it off the next year for a dollar.
WITH OUR OWN BUDDING BYRONS
He sets it every other day
The printer thinks it funny
That this headline should run so much
"Professor leaves—More Money."
—J. M.
Little Jack Horner had been to the corner
THOSE GAY MEDICS
Where the Medics had labored all year.
ON BREEZY MT. OREAD
I'd love to have them credits
They give in Summer School,
But I'd a dern sight rather be,
At home in the swimming pool.
—J. G.
He pulled out his thumb, from his pocket, by gum.
Can you guess what he found?
"Twas an ear!
H TWO O X Y Z
STUDENT OPINION
Stated Motherhubbardistically
Permit an old "Grad" just a word in your Student Opinion column regarding the much discussed Annual proposition. The whole affair has reduced itself to an absurdity. The class of 1912 certainly demonstrated to any impartial observer the fact that an Annual of the size of theirs could not be financed. The class of 1913 has blindly heaped up the evidence and the class of 1914 is just now wavering between an even greater act of folly along the same line and the proposition of no annual at all. Certainly there can be other merit it an annual and more number of pages and expense of production. For one, I should like to see an Annual management with the moral back bone and enough ordinary business horse-sense to publish a book that the class and the University could support.
H TWO O X Y Z
Mary had a little spell,
Look out! She's in a huff;
That Chemical, the horrid man,
Put sulphide on her muff.
I M
To find what he thinks of our bean,
But when we get there
stated Matherhubbardsically
Now we students go 'round to
the Dean
A former Annual Editor.
Our grade cards are bare Save the flunks and conditions—I ween.
Our grade cards are bare
Seeing is Believing
When you see the values we are offering you in our
Six Store Special SUITS AT $15.00
Your eyes will tell you that they are the best suits in Kansas for the price. Fine all wool blue serge, silk lined. Elegant gray and dark all woolworsteds. New shepherd checks in all wool cassimers made only and special for our six stores.
U. of K.CALENDAR
Friday
10:00 Chapel. Musical program
10:00 Chapel. Musical program.
3:30 Greek Symposium. Modern Greece illustrated by views and music, and refreshments. (206 Fraser).
Art exhibit.
Baseball: M. U. vs. K. U. at Columbia.
Saturday
Baseball: M. U. vs. K. U. at Columbia.
Art exhibit. Free.
PECKHAM'S
Examination Schedule
Classes meeting at 8:00 will be examined Saturday a. m., May 31.
Classes meeting at 2:30 will be examined Monday a. m., June 2nd.
Classes meeting at 9:00 will be examined Tuesday a. m., June 3rd.
Classes meeting at 3:30 will be examined Tuesday a. m., June 3rd.
Classes meeting at 10:15 will be examined Wednesday a. m., June 4th.
Classes meeting at 11:15 will be examined Thursday a. m., June 5th.
Classes meeting at 1:30 will be examined Friday a. m., June 6th.
Classes meeting at 4:30 will be ex-
Classes meeting at 4:30 will be examined Saturday a. m., June 7th.
May 26 Recital: Pearl Emley.
Future Events
May 27 Pharmacy Ass'n Con.
May 27 Recital: Lucy Parrott
May 29 Pharmacy Ass'n Con.
May 29 Pharmacy Ass'n Con.
May 28 Pharmacy Ass'n Con.
May 31 Mo. V, Con. track meet at St. Louis.
June 3 Fine Arts Commencement Concert.
June 7 Western Con. Games a.
Chicago.
June 8 Baccalaureate service.
June 11 Commencement.
June 11 Commencoment.
May 23 Baseball: M. U. vs. K. U.
June 12 Summer School opens
22. Combine.
May 24 Baseball. M. U. vs. K. U.
May 27 Baseball; St. Marys vs. K.
Basketball; St. Marys
May 31 Mo. Val. Con. track meet
St. Louis
June 7 Western Con. games, at Chicago.
He—Why so sad today?
Him—Just went over to the Lab and eat down on the spur of the moment.
—Tiger.
If your memory is good, you'll remember
THE FLOWER SHOP
If it is not, this ad is to remind you our number is 825 1-2 Mass. Phones 621
Mr. and Mrs. Geo. Ecke, Leading Florists
LAWRENCE TRANSFER CO. Phone 15. TRUNK HAULING.
THE SAD, SAD GRIND OF OUR COLLEGE LIFE
Corrected.
Teacher—Johny, you must be careful not to use the same word so often. Here's "cry" three times in one sentence. Why not say "weep?" Johny—Say! Who ever heard of an Indian letting a war-weep?
—Tiger.
This is the song we like to sing;
Of fish or eggs or anything;
"I've got your nerve," said the dentist as he fished about in the patient's tooth—Punch Bowl.
Watkins National Bank
Capital $100,000; Surplus and Profits, $100,000
Your Business Solicited
Four lines are filled, horray, horryn
Of blooming bristles, bristling hay—
She—Why do you work so hard?
He—I am too nervous to steal.
——Widow.
Send the Daily Kansan Home
CLARK, C. M.
LEANS
LOTHES.
ALL Bell 355, Home 160
730 Massachusetts
Eat Your Meals at Anderson's Old Stand
Typewriters, Fountain Pens, and Office Supplies F. I. Carter
F. I. Carter
1025 Mass. Bell Phone 1051
Palmer's Delightful Perfumes
Always Fragrant and Charming
McColloch's Drug Store
Complete line of Spring and Summer Suitings.
KOCH
Particular Cleaning and Pressing FOR PARTICULAR PEOPLE
Lawrence Pantatorium
12 W. Warren Both Phone 506
Protch for Spring Suits
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