UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN The official student paper of the University of Kansas. EDITORIAL STAFF RICHARD GARDNER. HARLAN THOMPSON. EDWARD HACKNEY. JAMES LENNON, LESS STAFF. Adv. Mgr JOHN C. MADDEN, Circulation Adv. Editor-in-Chief Managing Ed Sporting Ed JAMES HOUGHTON KANSAN BOARD HERBERT FLINT L. E. HOWE WAYNE WINGATK HENRY MAILOY OMAR HITE EARL PLOWMAN Entered as second-class mail matter September 17, 1910, at the postoffice at Lawrence, Kansas, under the act of March 3, 1879. Published in the afternoon five times a week, by students of the University of Kansas, from the press of the department of journalism. Subscription price $2.00 per year, in advance; one term, $1.00; time subscriptions, $2.50 per year; one term, $1.25. Phones: Bell K. U. 25; Home 1165 Address all communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN, LAWRENCE. WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 19. Common remark heard this week: "Somebody told me that this was a snap course." If the weather continues we may expect to hear sembling. Don't scoff. It happened several times last year. If a singer with a name like Sadie Jones should ever come here, we predict that she would draw some crowd. Marvin Hall has enrolled in the College. It's up to Fowler Shops now to enroll in the School of Medicine. LET'S HAVE ONE. Useful commodities should not be wasted. We have noticed for some time that humor seems to be running rife at this University. All great Eastern schools have a humorous publication to carry off the surplus humor. Why shouldn't Kansas have such a publication? There is enough rampant wit and humor running around loose here to fill a Cornell Widow or a Harvard Lampoon twice a week. The "Sad, Sad Grind" column of the Daily Kansan is undoubtedly more widely read than any other feature of the paper. We believe that everyone at the University is somewhat funny. We read so many funny things in this office that we are becoming pessimistic, in a kind of natural re-action. It is everywhere, in a greater or less degree. Funny things are always happening at Kansas, and we have to reject enough exclusive material every week to alone fill a dozen pages or so. Of course, we hate to turn all this good stuff down, but lack of space compels us to do it. Humor is the spice of life. It is also the predominating element in Punch, Judge, and a hundred other excellent periodicals. The material is here. The plant is here. The men are here to give their time to the undertaking. In fact, there are generally about a dozen men loafing around the Daily Kansan office, besides the regular reportorial staff. Mark Twain, George Ade and Tom Masson have nothing on many of these men, in all seriousness, so why shouldn't we divert this stream of up-to-date humor and philosophy into our own little magazine of fun? A poet describes humor as a mixture of love and wit. With the approach of spring, nearly everybody will be able to qualify in one or the other of these elements. It has also been suggested that a humorous publication is needed to offset the serious tone of the Daily Kansas. However this may be, there is un doubted room for such a magazine. From a humane standpoint it will save us. From a financial standpoint it will be a great success with the right spirit back of it. From a practical standpoint it will furnish an outlet to the feelings of everybody, and will offer an opportunity for all kinds of latent talent. With all this, it will be a mighty funny magazine if it doesn't make a success. A gentleman from western Kansas came here to visit his son for the first time in a year last week. For the first time this year said son was in Kansas City. Oh, the irony of fate! Oracle has received another question that is causing the entire office force of the Kansan to think deeply. Why is a joke, and when? BACK-TO-THE-FARM MOVEMEN BACK TO THE MOVEMENT Almost every paper in the nation within the past year has published articles about the back-to-the-farm movement. Many have been holding it up as a panacea. They offer it as a solution of the tariff question, the high cost of living, or anything else. It is true that there are too many people in the cities. But the real remedy is to keep the people on the farm. Country life should be made so attractive that the farmer won't want to move to the city the first time he gets a chance. The boy, above all, should be kept on the farm. He understands the business best and will make a greater success of farming, as a rule, than the city man. It is no wonder that the farmer boy wants to move to town. He is usually yanked out of bed at 4 o'clock and forced to do a good day's work before breakfast. Then he is kept in the field until it gets so dark he can't see to follow a corn row. After all this he comes home and does chores until 9 o'clock. For this reason he is not very likely to be consumed by his love for the glories of agriculture which he hears his city cousins telling about. And who would blame him? Give the boy a fair show. Let him have somewhere near the same advantages of his city cousin and the chances are he will stay with the old farm until the cows come home. That will do a deal more good than all of the "back-to-the-farm movement" talk you can give him after he has moved to the city—University Missouri. --men doubt you, But make allowance for hei. Now is the time for all good fathers to come to the aid of the son who has made a date for the Junior Prom. We have absolutely no sympathy with the person who knows already that they "are going to flunk in about half of this semester's work." (Omitted From Yesterday's Issue.) (Omitted From Yesterday's Issue.) Weather of the summer variety such as we have been enjoying this week will be the program for at least two more days, according to the University weather man. He makes no promises for the elements beyond that time. The brow that went to the post-office for fence rails hasn't anything on the gent who wouldn't leave the mountain hotel until noon, because he had heard that one should beware of consumption in the early stages. THE SAD, SAD GRIND OF OUR COLLEGE LIFE Senior- Come off with that chestnut. Why, to get on the other side, of course. Soph—Say, Dink, why does chicken cross the road? California Pelican. Soph—Wrong. To show her silk stockings. —Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. Dink--Isn't there? I guess you don't know my thirst. Gink—Come, have a drink. "How do you know that your son doesn't drink when he goes out at night?" "Because he is always so thirsty in the morning." —Pennsylvania Punch Bowl. —Harvard Lampoon. OLD FRIENDS IN VERSE The Daily Kansan will publish in this space favorite verses of its readers. Contributions welcome—The Editor. If you can keep your head when all about you By Rudyard Kipling "IF"men doubt you, But make allowance for hei. If you can trust yourself when al men doubt you, Are losing theirs and blaming it on you; If you can wait and not be tired in or being told about something And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise; because of the doubtting too; you can wait, and not be tired by if you can dream—an1 not make dreams your master If you can think-and not make thoughts your aim. if you meet with Crump and Disaster these two just sit together. And trent those two i.mostors just the same; if you can hear the truth! you spoken Twisted by knives to make a 'm a for, fors, watch the things on; gave; pr If you can make one 'cap o' all your wittness or water the ur life to, broken And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools; And risk it or one can of pitch and toss. and love, and start agon at your blooming, and never breathe a word about To serve your turn long after they are come! if you can force you heart and nerve maneuver to get yourself long after they And so hold on when there is $ r $ thing in you Wait, the second line has "will" and "you". The first line has "$ r $". Let's re-read the first line carefully. "And so hold on when there is $ r $ thing in you." Yes. Final check of the text: And so hold on when there is $ r $ thing in you. Wait, the text is actually: And so hold on when there is $ r $ thing in you. Let me look at the very last word again. It's "you". Except the 'win' Wn n say ( ) them: 'Hod on!' if you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue. keep your virtue, Or wink with Kings—nor lose th. If neither foes nor loving friend can hurt you. If you can fill the unforgiving minute If all men count with you, but none too much; With 'irty seconds' worth of distance run. Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, that's in it. And—which is more—you'll be Man, my son! PERHAPS I have private information which leads me to believe that your managing editor will put the following head on a story of the University Art Exhibit—"Art Exhibit Draws well Editor Daily Kansan: Crumbine Thanking you I am, Arthur Throckmorton. Can't you do something to block this? Be content—don't fret. Jaysquawks Thanking you I am, Dean Old Sol pushed out a real spring day, and everybody thought, that spring "had came" to say a while—but what a change is wrought. The other day the Spooner Clubs were wandr'ing in the air, but now they sit upon the stove, and curse the gas pressheira. The editors all grabbed their pens, and warned against the spill, that spring covers over all who breathe in. In the day these geese are flying north they say, and spring "has came" for sure, but my opinion of the weather man is very low. All announcements for this column should be handed to the news editor before 10 a. m. Wanted, at French office, at once, Spanish gammars, Hill and Ford edition. Sigma Xi will meet at the home of Prof. Van der Vries Thursday evening for the purpose of electing new members. Full attendance is desired. All members of the German Dramatic clubs are urged to attend an important business meeting in room 313 of Fraser hall next Wednesday, the 27th of February. Dr. E. C. Smith will address the Y. W. C. A. at their regular meeting Wednesday afternoon on "Ella Johnson, and her Prison Reform Work Among Women." Professor Johnson's 9:00 o'clock division in Freshman English literature will recite beginning Wednesday, February 19, in Fraser, 209 instead of Administration 102. The ladies of the faculty will entertain the young women of the University on the fourth Thursday of February instead of the third, owing to the conflict with a lecture on the 'atter date. U. of K. CALENDAR Wednesday. 10:00 Chapel Wednesday. 4:30 Mining journal (201 Ha.) 4:30 Paul. E. More, Lecture. ANNOUNCEMENTS 4:45 Y.W. C.A. Rev.E.C Smith, subject, "Prison Reform." 10:00 Chapel. Thursday. 4:30 E Alteneo Club (314 Fraser). 4:30 Paul. E. More. Lecture. 10:00 Chapel. Paul. E. More of New York. Friday. 4:30 Paul E. More, Lecture. Art exhibit. Saturday. 11:00 Zoological seminar. "The Inheritance of Acquired Characteristics," Miss Irma Goldman. Available online. 4:30 Vespers: Lenten Orgon Re cital. Sunday. Athletic Schedule. Feb. 26-27 M. U. s. K. U. at Columbia Mch. 3 War. nor. vs. K. U. at Warrenshek. Mch. 14 Indoor Track Meet: M. U. Feb. 28 W. U. vs.K U. at St. Louis Mch. 1 W. U. vs.K U. at St. St. Louis Mch. 19 Great relay games at Des Moines. Apr. 25-26 Baseball: M. U. vs. K. U., at Lawrence. Mch. 4 Voice concert: Dorothea North Mch. 7 Lecture by Prof. Wilcox. Mch. 8 Lecture by N. D. Hillis. Mcn. 6 Band concert. Mch. 7 Lecture by Prof. Wilcox. Mch. 6 Band concert. Mch. 14-15 Annual conference of Kansas H. S. and academies. Lecture by Prof. J. L. Hen Mch. 8 Lecture by N. D. Hins. Mch. 9 Lecture by N. D. Hillis. No, no, poor suffring heart, no change endeavour; Lecture by Prof. J. L. Hen derson of U. of Texas. Apr. 12 French play. Apr. 24-25 Music festival. Choose to sustain the smart, rather than leave her: tam lieve ner; Mamure ye eyes behold such charms about her. SONG FROM CLEOMENES Apr. 4 Lecture by Prof. Wilcox. without her; One way to sign of hers to see me language. Mugusha. Will more than pay the price of my phone. about her. can die with her, but cannot live with her. Beware, O cruel fair, how you smil on me; past anguish. Beware. O cruel fair, how you smil "Twas a kind look of yours that has undone me. minute, And she will end my pain who did Then, no day void of bliss, or pleas use leaving Ages shall slide away without per- celling: more to please us, And keep out Time and Death, when And keep out Time and Death, where they would seize us; Cupid shall guard the door, the more to please us. Time and Death shall depart, and say in flying. Love has found out a way to live by dying - Dryden. Society Brand Clothes Many ideas in Young Men's Clothing are shown in this line Many of the Spring Suits are in PECKHAM'S Hotel Cumberland Copyright 1912. Alfred Decker & Co. S. W. Cor. Broadway at 54th St. NEW YORK Near 50th Street Subway Station and 53d Street Elevated Ten Minutes Walk to Thirty Theatres Rooms with Bath, $2.50 and up NEW AND FIREPROOF Kept by a College Man from Kansas Special Rates for College Teams *Broadway* : Cars from Grand Central Depot Seventh Avenue Cars from Penn's Station HARRY P. STIMSON, Manager Bowersock Messrs. Manley and Campbell present Mr. George C. Wakefield as MEPHISTO in A bible revival of Goethe's Greatest Tracedy Send the Daily Kansan Home Headquarters for Kansas Wed. Night, Feb. 19th ELDRIAGE HOUSE STABLE Taxiex, Hacks and Lays W. E. Moak. Prop. Both Phones 148 "FAUST" 25-35-50-75 Boxes $1 A Splendid Supporting Cast Characters Beautifully Costumed Each Act Specially Mounted Beautiful Electric Effects Clever Stage Mechanisms A Tragedy With a Moral Do you want to Loan Your Money Safely? 一 And at a fair rate of interest? 一 I have choice Kansas and Oklahoma mortgages for sale. Wilder S. Metcalf Do you want to borrow money on farm property? I have money to loan. My business is safe and prompt. LAWRENCE Founded in 1905 by the Lawrence College business college, Lawrence, Kansas, of a century ago, is a best equipped business college in the state. It offers a variety of courses and offices in shanghai, bookkeeping bank offices, law offices, lawrence college, kansas. TELL US YOUR PIANO TROUBLE We rent Pianos We tune Pianos We repair Pianos We move Pianos We make Pianos We refinish Pianos We sell Pianos Dick Brothers Leading Druggists 747 Mass. Phones 135 EVERYTHING IN MUSIC Bell Bros. Music Co. Sam S. Shubert This week The Blue Bird Next Julius Caesar Protch for Spring Suits Eat Your Meals at Ed Andersons KOCH, Tailor Fine Line of Fall and Winter Suitings. The Brunswick Hillard Parlor Everything new and first class. 710 Mass.