THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Official student paper of the University of Kansas EDITORIAL STAFF Editor-in-Chef John J. Kistler Associate Editor Mavin Harvan Campus Editor Belva Shores Telograph Editor Alfred Grasses Sport Editor Herb Little Exchange Editor Harlow Tibbett BUSINESS STAFF Harold R. Hall...Business Mgr. Burt Cochran...Advertising Mgr. Florid Hoskenbull...Circulation Mgr. KANSAN BOARD MEMBERS KANSAN BOARD MEMBERS Gilbert O. Lennox Adelaide Dick Roger Triplette Ormond W. Heren Genean Hunter Heren Kenneth Clark Kenneth Clark Jessie Wyatt Catherine Oder Charles J. Swainson Donalyn Joslin Subscription price $3.50 in advance for the first nine months of the academic year; $1.50 for a term of three months; 50 cents a month; 15 cents a month. Entered as second-class mail matter September 17, 1910, at the post office at Lawrence, Kanada, under the act of March 3, 1879. Published in the afternoon five times a week, by students in the Department of Journalism of the University of Texas at Austin, on behalf of the Department of Journalism. Address all communications to THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Lawrence, Kansas. Phones, Bell K. U. 25 and 66. The Daily Kaisan aims to picture the undergraduate life of the University, and then to render it ther than merely printing the news by standing for the ideals the University sets out to be clean; to be cheerful; to be charitable; to be courageous; to be wise; to be patient; to wiser leads; in all, to serve to the best of its ability the students of the University. YOUR SHOULDER TO THE WHEEL MONDAY, JAN. 5, 1920. Back again. What a great time the holidays have been. What good times we have had back in the old home town with mother and dad and all our friends. No studies to think about, no school worries to trouble us. Just a fortnight of bliss. And now we are all back again to take up our work where we left it. Maybe we have returned with just a little reluctance, not very anxious to start again. Perhaps we have forgotten how to "dig in," and will take our studies in a half-hearted fashion. The most important part of the semester is before us. Quiz week is but a short time away, and many of us will have to put in a little extra time in order to pass. The Loyalty Campaign must be resumed, and the Million Dollar Drive pushed to the goal. A little more active interest from each of us is necessary. A fuller participation is needed. With a fortnight of absolute rest, each of us should start in again with more vigor and enthusiasm, and the result will be the closing of a successful semester. WILL YOU BE THERE? Seats to accommodate 1500 people have been provided in the Gymnasium for the basketball season which opens with the Emporia Normal five Tuesday. This is a much larger number of seats than have been used for the basketball season in previous years but with an enrollment the size of the University every seat should be filled for the games. Coach Karl A. Schlademann is starting his first year as a basketball coach at the University and with the material he has, expects to develop a winning team this year. He deserves the support of every student on the Hill and the way to show that you are behind him and the team is to go to the games and root. There is no reason why the rooting at a basketball game should not be just as good as at a football game. In an effort to bring this support about the Ku Kluan is planning on attending the games in force, but your support is needed to make the rooting what it ought to be. The members of the squad think enough of the school that they were willing to give up a part of their Christmas vacation to return for practice, and by attending the contests the students have an opportunity to show the players that they appreciate this spirit. BEASTS AT LARGE The specimens of the animal kingdom of K. U. are not all restricted to the Museum or to the surveillance of Van. For one often sees ranging at large on the campus beautiful specimens of leopard, fox, and wolf, and yet there is no protection afforded the student. In another part of the campus we see beaver, muskrat, and seal far from native watery homes, and gives one a more-at-home woody feeling to meet the raccoon, opossum, squirrel or rabbit. However, the rabbit like the cat, is a deceptive animal and often masquerades as something else. It would seem that a zoo is not good when maintained upon a University campus. But parents need not be afraid to send their hopefuls to this seat of learning for by way of explanation we say that the women of the University since the H. C. of C. has soared so high have taken to wearing the skins of the beasts of the field and sea. THE HOME DRESS SUIT The dress-suit, apparently so oper faced, is often found to possess intrinsic parts, small and great, that are entirely obscure to the naked eye. This does not go to prove that the sand is quicker than the eye, nor is such an attempt contemplated. The purpose is merely to prove the evils of present-day society, by pointing out how we try to camouflage, and fool the people into thinking we "social lions." Every time an amateur puts on a dress suit, he should remember he is taking the chance of being prosecuted for misrepresentative advertising. Open season will soon be declared upon formal parties and other forms of indoor recreation, at which occasion a dress suit in the prime requisite. Then will be the time for the men to look out for some kind benefactor, from whom he can borrow an outfit for the occasion; this conglomeration of personal decoration consisting for the main part of coat, trousers, vest and whatever other accessories the owner may have the good fortune to possess. In the end, the "comer-out" may have to purchase a few minor devices for his adornment and safety, such as a collar, (the party of the first part is here advised that he had better have several collars available, because one or more is usually mutilated in the attempt at harnessing it). a necktie, a hard boid shirt, etc. Articles should be obtained, with the thought kept in mind that the finished product must be a study in black and white Of course, it is assumed from the very first that a date has been invigilated into the affair. The next thing to give attention to in this respect is retaining the date. There are many ways in which this may be done, but no method is infallible, so no attempt will be made here to instruct along this line. Just use your own judgment. A few suggestions might help. Be sure and let the lady know in advance that you are going to send her flowers, hau her to and from the dance in a closed car, (Fords excluded) and impress upon her mind that it is going to be a regular affair, and that she is certain to have a good time. This will probably help afterwards, because she will have been convinced beforehand. A dress rehearsal should be held a day or two before the time for the event. All parts of the outfit should be kept handy, so that record time will be made in preparing for said rehearsal. It is a certainty that more speed will be attained at this time during the actual preparation. Get the folks around the house to help fix you up and then tell you how well you look. This will help a great deal, as it will inspire confidence, and if there is one thing that is a positive asset, it is confidence. The kind of confidence needed in that which will tell you that you are all right when you are all wrong, or in other words, egotism. After you dis-assemble yourself, take everything and lock it up in a trunk, or it will never all be seen again. The fact of the matter is that a dress suit is a dress suit if it's on a boot-black Mental Lapses "I Aint Got Nobody, Much," hum- mend the little 85-pound woman as she bent over the wash board making a living for her 200-pound man. "I'm tough," said the steak as its customer ruined three molars in the mastication process. FAMOUS SAYINGS "I'm a Jazz Baby," said the man rising from a red-hot stove in actions more clear than words. "I'm hard-boiled," said the egg after the active chick inside had made six for freedom. "I'm high-toned," said the soprano, as she soared around three stories above K-sharp. "I'm lost!" gnasped the lady with the tight skirt, as she swayed in midrime with one foot just before and the other without it. She attempted boarding a street car. "I put the H in itch," said the trump as he indulged in another scratch. The stove was burning in the kitchen. It was very hot. LIFE'S LITTLE TRAGEDIES Molly was not in the habit of wearing asbestos clothing. Into the kitchen tripped Molly; she sat on the stove. Miss Hulse (History II)—What did Nero do while Rome was on fire? Q. E. D. —Sir Dancelot. (Voice from the rear)—He sat on the roof and sang "Keep the Home Fires Burning."—Ex. Margaret W.—What makes you look so pale today, Mary Virginia?" Landlords who have not raised their rentals could hold a national convention a telephone booth—Ex. my hair make me seasick.—Ex. CIRCUMSTANTIAL EVIDENCE CIRCUMSTANTIAL EXEMNENCE Counsel 2 Now where did he kiss you? Plaintiff—On the lips, sir. Counsel: No! no! you don't under stand. I mean where were you? Plaintiff (blushing)—In his arms sir.—Ex. "Say, why do you keep your girl's picture in your watch?" "Because I think she will love me in time."—Ex. fly and a flea in a flue Were imprisoned—so what could they do? Said the fly,"Let us flee," Said the flea."Let us fly." So they flew through a flaw in the flue.—Ex. "Did you tell her when you proposed to her last night that you were unworthy of her? That always makes a hit." "I was going to, but she told it to me first."—Ex. Photographer—Did you say that you wanted a large or small picture? Prison. Holding a small one. Photographer—All right, but you'll aye to close your mouth—Ex. "Pay your debts, boy." Hub- Why do you wear that coat tume? It looks like half mourning. Wire- Well, every evening when you come home from the office you complain of being half dead-Boston Transcript. return to a whirlpool in the city's ways White, piteous face of mother, child and wife Easier in Korea — In Korea if a man meets his wife in the street he ignores her presence and passes on as if she were a stranger — (Exchange) gotta pay up all the time: —Louisville Courier-Journal. The Proud Mother—Can't you see the resemblance between baby and his father? "Not necessary. I can arrange with your widow."—Esquella, Barcelona. "And keep your credit good." That vision passes; but this vision stay. To share our glory; stab us like a knife. If we forget, who gave us length of Trumpet, and tumult, and the pride of life "Shall I settle the bill now, doctor?" And hearts, and hands have met, whose loud-mouthed gray to time with poor success. —Louisville Courier-Journal. Let us remember, we whose spirits have met. The Old Bachelor—Well, they're both bald headed.—Houston Post. Their faces turned from us for ever: may! They shall remember us, though we Whose casual butting futters idly yet; With pride and love greater than our regret. Let us remember those brave shards of clay * * * for we forget who gave us longer days., W. R. Titterton, in the New Witness, (London). They shall remember us, though we forget. Other men have tried this from time to time with poor success. Louriville, Courier Journal PEACE DAY Honannahs made a Roman holiday Quiet your faces; be crossed every thumb; Wise as the king who learned of the bee. Old as the pebbles that fringe the cold nears; Fix on me deep your eyes. And out of my mind a story shall come. Old, lovely and wise. LISTEN Old as the woods rhyming Thomas sunfe fed sweet Old as the fruits that in mistletoe shine. Old as the trees and old as the sun, ambers as the snow. This is the fool who when care made them Sang, eh, fol lol, lilly lo! Wise is the fool who, when care made him nine. OPPORTUNITY beek. Then learned of the emmets again. Ist! there's a stirring, there's a wind in the snow; lovely as off craft; wise as the street Where the roofs of the humble are seen. When pillon he rid with the queen; ealy, an alc,艺rter, wise, as, the street Like runnels of water sing...Walter de la Mare, in the Martinian Gazette A whirring of birds on the wing, Like a river of water my story shal flow. Let us, all of us, at all times, conduct ourselves and do our work as we the eyes of opportunity were upon us The other day, after a matinee, some members of a burlesque company were gathered in a restaurant for their evening meal. David Belasco discovered David Warfield in an obscure Bowery burlesque theater. "Yes," replied Sam, "but Dave Belasco might have been in the crowd we did might." As a result of a simple family letter which one of these 25 wrote to her sister in Brooklyn, N. Y., Henry Ward Beale, a classmate of Plymouth church of that city. Henry Ward Beecher began his career preaching in a little church at Lawrenceburg, Ind., with a membership of less than 25 persons. He became a national figure, preaching to more than 3,000 persons each Sunday for more than 40 years. But the opportunity for it all came by his efforts while preaching to those 25 persons at Lawrenceburg, Ind. This policy of always doing our work as if the eyes of opportunity were upon us is operative in the field, the factory, the store and in every occupation of life, no matter how humble. It is simply in using one job as the opportunity for the next—a better job—Wichita Reacon. ANXIOUS TO HELP OTHERS Nearly everyone is anxious to help others. There isn't an employer in the land who isn't willing to give a man a chance. There is not a proprietor of any business who would not be willing to lend a hand in helping a fellow to help himself. But it is depressing to find how many depressions are caused because of their inefficiency or indifference or lack of industry. Which is suggested by a story that a gentleman has just interacted. He has a friend who has a son well along in the twenties. The father resides in New York and the former wrote to his friend asking that he do something for the boy—and the friend undertook to do so. He placed the boy with an acquaintance in "one of the local faceties" where the boy was "impossible" in the place. Then he obtained employment for him in another position, and the boy did not like the job and gave it up. Another and another place were found for him, but he simply could not get along or make any progress. So the scoutman threw up his hands and slid. "What's the use?" Casey's new English dictionary recently published in London, contains a list of American slang used in use during the war, many of them borrowed from American slang. *A* But the thing is, people are willing to help others—willing to do something for others, willing to go out of the war for others. The world isn't against anthem; employers are not excluded against people; success is not a matter of favoritism—Columbus Dipatch. Bus—An aeroplane. Highbrow-A highly superior person. NEW ENGLISH WORDS No flies on one—No feel. Cold feet—To be in a funk. Dud—No good. Erewash—Humbug. Jazz—A noisy and boisterous danc in nighttime. Umbeen—Any number.—Portland Oregonian. Cuv—A toff. Movies—A kinematographic exhibition. Put K. U. First—in Lawrence, a home, everywhere. On Other Hills The Ohio State University is planning to play their chiras at stated intervals in honor of their fallen heroes. Dartmouth College, recently took a straw vote for presidential nominees with the result that Maj. Gen. Leenard Wood came out first. A gang of 800 Hoodlums, claiming to represent the American Legion, last week attempted to break up a University concert at Cornell University. After the throwing of eggs and misses they were routed. A student at Chicago University died of the sleeping sickness recently. Cornell will hold a straw vote on the League and Treaty issues January 13. Ohio State University has let a contract for a new concrete stadium with an estimated seating capacity of 50,000. It will embrace the best features of the Harvard stadium and the Yale Bowl. ANIQUE TO THE NEVERNICE A surprise occurred the other day in Cleveland, Ohio, when a magnet, used to pick up a broken bit of knife blade, which had dropped into a pile of dust from a vacuum sweeper, picked up not only the broken blade but also a good deal of the dust. The explanation suggested itself that what the magnet attracted was not truly dust, but rather metal, far and wide by Besserman converters of the Cleveland steel industry; and going further, it was discovered that a magnet could find iron here, there, and everywhere throughout the city. The experiment branched out, magnetic attraction was tried in other steel towns, the magnet revealing from 60 to 75 per cent of magnetic material. Such a discovery would seem to make it worth more than pretending that the perfecting of devices to prevent the free distribution of their product in places where it is neither desired nor desirable. According to the estimate of a Cleveland instructor in trade chemistry, about fifty tons of iron are daily lost by being sprayed over the city. The miners picture their lot as one near desitification. The operators paint them as living adjacent to a bed of roses. But the average citizen, unaware of their real address, merely wonders if they'll have coal for his furnace this coming winter.—The Philadelphia Evening Ledger. CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS For Rent For Sale Lost Found Help Wanted Situation Wanted Telephone K. U. 66 Or call at Daily Kar sas Business Office Classified Advertising Rates Minimum charge, one insertion Disc. Up to fifteen words, two discs. Fifteen to twenty-five words one disc. Twenty-five words, six; five insertions. Twenty- five insertions. One-half cent a first insertion. One-half cent a second insertion. Classified card rates given upon application. Twenty-five cents bookkeeping fee added unless paid in cash. WANT ADS LOST-Gentleman's suit case; supposedly between 12 and 13th on Ohio. Call 248. Reward. 65-2-144. WANTED—Five K. U. men of very neat appearance and good personality for work from four in afternoon until Ten in the evening. Plasant work. Good joy, Mr. Moss, 944 New hampshire St., Call 9 to 10 a.m. 65-2-143. WANTED — Stewardies, Davisson Club, 1344 Kentucky Street, Call 1356. 65-12-45. FOUND—A bill. Owner can have name by identifying. Call Nat Armel, 321. 64-2-142. PROFESSIONAL CARDS LAWRENCE OPTICAL COMPANY (Ex- clusive Optometrist.) Eyes exam- ined; glasses made. Office 1015 Mass DRIL. REDING. F, A, U. Ridg. Eye, ear, nose, and mouth. Threat. Special attention to fitting glasses and tonail work. Phone $13. DR. H. I. CHAMBERS, Suite 2, Jackson Building General practice. Special attention to nose, throat and ear. Telephone 2172. H. W. HUTCHINSON. Dentist. Bell phone 185, 308. Porkins Bldg. G. W. JONES, A. M., M. D. D.) Diseases of the stomach, A. m. Surgery, and gynecology. Suite 1, F. P. U. Hlg. Residence Building, 118th Avenue, 118th Street. Both phone 35. Varsity DRS. WELCH AND WELCH—Palmer Graduate, Office 904 Vermont St. Phones, Office 115, Residence, 115K2. Monday and Tuesday JOB PRINTING—B. H. Dale, 1027 Mass. DR. C. R. ALRIGHT—chiropradic approach adjustments and massage. Office Stubba nudge 1613 Masa ST. Phone 1531. Residence Phone 1761. One of those secret service stories that hold you from start to finish Also Mutt-Jeff Comedy Capt. Robert Warwick in J. R. BECHELT, M. D. Rooms 3 and 4 over McCulloch's. Residence 1121 Tenn. St. Office. Phone 243. St. Shirley. Phone 228. Bowersock "AN ADVENTURE IN HEARTS" Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday "MALE AND FEMALE" Cecil B. De Mille's "Please Get Married" See Ads in Daily Papers Admission: Children 20c; Adults 30c POPULAR PRICE STORE For your holiday shopping in clothing and furnishings. Our store will supply all your needs HUB CLOTHING STORE George Abrams, Prod. 820 Sts. Str. MARTHA WASHINGTON CANDY at CENTRAL EDUCATIONAL BUREAU 610 Metropolitan Bldg., St. Louis, Mo. We have remunerative positions for available teachers. Write for registration blanks. No advance fee. UNIVERSITY BOOK STORE W. J. HAWKINS, Manager The largest electric sign in the world advertises WRIGLEY'S on Times Square. New York City; it is 250 feet long, 70 feet high. Made up of 17,286 electric lamps. The fountains play. the trade mark changes, reading alternately WRIGLEY'S SPEARMINT, DOUBLEMINT, and JUICY FRUIT, and the Spearmen "do a turn." This slim is seen nightly by about 50,000 people from all over the world.