UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
APRIL 9.1919.
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Official student paper of the University
EDITORIAL STAFF
Editor-in-Chief...Harold R. Hall
Associate Editor...Charles Siaslaw
News Editor...Mary Samson
Exchange Editor...Beva Shores
Historian Editor...Mark Merritt
Society Editor...Geneva Hunter
Sports Editor...John Montgomery
BUSINESS STAFF
Adv. Manager ... Lucille McNaughton
Circulation Mr. ... Herman C. Hangeu
Circulation Msr. ... Herman C. Hangeu
KANSAS BO
F. L. Hockenhill
Luther Hangen
Edgar Holta
Barrie Allen
Earline Allen
Basil Church
Marjory Roby
Subscription price $3.00 in advance for the first nine months of the academic year; $1.00 for a term of three weeks; 40 cents a month; 10 cents a week.
Entered as second-class mail matter September, 17, 1910, at the post office at Lawrence. Kansas, under the act of March 3, 1879.
Published in the afternoon five times a week, by students in the Department of Journalism of the University of Kansas and the press of the Department of Journalism.
Address all communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN LAWRENCE, Kansas Phoeng, B.K. U. 25 and 66
The Daily Kausan aims to picture the undergraduate students at UCF to go further than merely printing the news and providing a private room; to play no favorities; to be clean; to be cheerful; to be courageous, leave more serious; to wiser heads; in all, to serve to the university; to teach the students of the University.
WEDNESDAY, APRIL 9, 1919.
THE WEATHER
Rain or Snow. Colder this evening.
There are probably a large number of students at the University of Kansas who do not know the colleges and universities included in the Missouri Valley Athletic Conference, although K. U. has been a member of this conference for many years and has always been one of the leading participants in Valley athletics.
Until last year, seven institutions were members of the Conference, as follows: The Universities of Kansas, Missouri and Nebraska, Drake University of Des Moines, Iowa, Iowa State College of Ames, Iowa, Kansas State Agricultural College of Manhattan and Washington University of St. Louis.
Last year, Grinnell College of Grinnell, Iowa, which had long been strong in Iowa athletics and had always competed with Ames and Drake, was admitted to the circuit and the total membership is now eight. Grinnell is an institution with an enrollment of about one thousand students and has long been recognized as one of the strongest colleges in Iowa. Kansas has never competed with the new addition to the conference; but it is certain that the Jayhawkers will get acquainted with Grinnell in the near future—probably next year.
Other colleges, including Haskell, the University of Oklahoma and St. Louis University, have applied for admission to the conference and there is a possibility that the applications of at least two of these institutions may be accepted.
Washburn College is going to have a clean-up day, when the students put on old clothes and scrub the buildings. A feature like that would not succeed here. The former members of the S. A. T. C. would find it too much like the kitchen police of days of gore.
4 200 0 31 1 344 6 41
German submarines are being sold and the profits divided among the Allies. Wonder how many small sons of millionaires have asked dad to buy them a sub to play with.
IS THIS POSSIBLE?
An unusual student has been discovered. Upon entering the University, he was very much grieved to see the chairs in the various classroom so badly defaced by pencil and ink marks. He had been in the habit of causing such mutilation in other places, but he became so impressed with the indignity of it that he has
ow turned his pencil over and is using the rubber end. He says that he is getting several chairs to looking better, and he also adds that he is getting even more enjoyment out of this practice.—No, we are sorry to say, this isn't true.
Every one should help to make Memorial Day a memorable day.
The freshmen say that they will enforce the Cap Tradition themselves. Sounds like a boy spanking himself before his pa drags to the wood-shed for a good paddling.
When a professor is human enough to admit that Spring Time Was Made For Lovers, it is hard to understand why he ever assigns lessons after the first of March.
TOO MANY OUTSIDE ACTIVITIES?
From the daily press, the University annual, and their own conversation, one unfamiliar with the situation might be led to believe that there are about one hundred students in this institution. Their names appear time after time in places of prominence, and whenever anything happens, they are "in" it—quite conspicuously "in" it.
These well-known, and in many instances, capable students, make one grand mistake of practically ignoring the existence of the other nineteen hundred who attend the University and keep the wheels going round. It is one thing to be connected with the Jayhawker, the Follies, the Senior play, etc., an infinitum, and it is another thing—fully as laudable and perhaps more useful in the long run—to stay on the job and go to class regularly.
--very rarely carry books But on! the mighty cane. (The Law Student.)
The outside activity is important, but not all-important. Likewise the person who conducts it.
"Wise men use for office and blackheads get them." At least this maxim offers consolation to the defeated W. S. G. A. candidates.
It is said that on the Isle of Wight there are no monks, lawyers or foxes. This should be a suitable place for the School of Engineering.
Some of them call it the "League of Rations."
OUR VICTORY MANNERS
What is the matter with our manners?
Are we becoming disagreeable? We must be careful, for it is a habit that grows.
During those long years of torturing worry we were comparatively considerate and kind to one another, We felt the sympathy that made us all akin, but now that our beloved are safe and the strain has been re laxed we seem to be sufferer now. What is the stress? "Nerves," Relief "Victory shock"
Remember, we have won the war. It is an inspiring realization. "The prize of peace is ours. We should be all smiles and amiability. Instead, we are all scowls and irritation.
I have often seen a mother fly with tenderness and concern to pick up a fallen child and then give the child a good shap when she found it was not hurt. That was relief and reaction I hope in our inspiration we shall not go from the uncivil even to the slapping stage. We seem sometimes to be very near it when we are fighting and pushing our way through the crowds.
Let us try for one day to have a smile for everybody—a real smile straight from the heart. The war is over and there are no more boys being killed.
We must take ourselves in hane and start a new war on our own frayed nerves—win the battle for us. We need to fight because also laverly a matter of habit.
One more route march to be taken—into the Land of Civility—a great spiritual march that should be led by the women, because women, who are the worst offenders, should always lead the men into worth winning channels of patience and politeness. Perhaps it is easier for us to smile
It's not such a "long, long way" after all—Eva Duniap in the London Mall.
Now then, Eyes right; and go forward smiling. Quick march! to the glorious land of Civility!
The Muse Rampant
I always go to SPOONER Along the hour of eight.
RIMES OF A K. YOU STUDENT
CANTO 1
Ventures in Original Verse.
And study,study,study,
And study, study, study,
Until I find a date.
(She was a History student.)
You may think me unique,
I sit out all my dances.
I go to all the dances
CANTO TWICE
I sit out at no.
To study the music.
(She was a Fine Arts student.)
CANTO TRIO
I go to all the buildings To Profs. I talk some
To Profs. I talk some, For every brainy news Ed
For every brainy news Ed Ed have to run and run.
(A Newsnapper I student.)
I very rarely carry books and the mighty cane
I always stand upon the the steps I know the Freshman's bane,
CANTO, the QUAD
I am the Freshman's bane, I very rarely carry books
I cuss and do most anything, There are so few girls there. (The Engineer student.)
CANTO SEXTET I go into that funny place
I almost never tie my tie,
I never comb my hair.
I never comb my hair,
With all those dear chimneys,
The formulas and all the dope
The chemists are myxima.
CANTO SEPTUS I know the Is that Warns'
CANTO SEPTUS
they nearly give me jimmies. (The Chem, Disciple.)
With all those dear chimmys.
I know the Is that Wasn't I reason why you are.
But then—why go so far?
(The Philosophy Shark.)
Your really aren't after all.
And nerves I will explain.
But know my eyes and ears and nose.
And know why heat or pain.
(Pyschology. s! h-h.)
CANTO THE FINISH
To every dance I go
And oh! I love it so.
(ALL OF US)
An advertising man who has returned recently from the Orient says the Japanese merchants and manufacturers who have occasion to make use of printer's ink are not disposed to limit themselves to dull, prosaic statements concerning the excellence of their wares. Among the entertaining that traveler noticed in his study of Japanese advertising are these:
THE POETRY OF ADVERTISING
"Goods dispatched expeditiously as a cannon ball."
"Our silks and satins are as smooth as a lady's cheek and colored like the runes."
"Customers are treated as politely as by rival steamship companies."
"Parecels 'done up with such loving as a wife bestows upon her husband." "of our books is clear as crystal; the matter charming as a singing girl."
Pat. "— It is this siven cint-fare. I heavi bin walkin' to and from me work and savin' tin cints, and now I kine save fourteen cints." Boston Tran
It ought to be possible to get advertisements read in Japan without scattering them around next to "pure reading matter." -Dayton News
Pat—"This is the foist time immy of these corporations hev done imnything to benneft the workingman."
HELPFUL /ORPORATION
Campus Opinion
Mike—"How is that, Pat?"
All communications to this column must be signed by the writer as evidence of his citizenship. The name will be held by the author as specifics. Communications are welcome.
Editor Daily Kansan:—Jose V. Cajucum had a communication in yesterday's Kansan in which he tried to assure us that he is not a freshman and not subject to our cap tradition, and yet he admits he is a freshman who disclaims to wear the distinctive head gear of MY CLASS. He claims that he is a sophomore and says that the Registrar books show this but as a matter of fact, though he was given some advanced standing he has not enough credit to be a full sophomore and besides he has never done
freshmen duties in any college. In the second place he claims to be a foreigner—very true, he came to America to be Americanized and the freshman cap is a good thing to start with. All the other freshman foreigners are conforming with our tradition and the Red Vigils at their last pow wow decided unanimously that there would be no exception to the rule this year and leave the matter entirely with Mr. Cajucum now with the assurance "we three shall meet again."
Mental Lapses
—O.H.H.
WISE MABEL
Louise, nine years old, asked her mother.
"Where is papa going?"
"To a stag party," she replied.
"What is a stag party, mamma?'
Sister Mabel, seven years old, who had been listening, with a dignified attitude of superior wisdom, answered, instantly: "Is it where they stagger, Don't you know?"—Pittsburgh Sun.
A CASE OF HEREDITY
"No one understands me."
"That is not to be wondered at. girlle. Your mother was a telephone girl before she married and you now have her as aunt."—Louisville Courrier-Journal.
We have the word of Mrs. W. B.
C. that the following occurred at the
Bancroft School no longer than the
first of this week:
Teacher—"What is the emperor of Japan called?"
UP IN CURRENT EVENTS
Informed Boy—"McAdoo."—Kansas City Star.
HIS PHOTOGRAPH
He though he'd surely made a hit.
When for his photograph she prayed
that he be given a blessing.
And gave it to her maid.—Boston Transcript.
"I'm for" For a *YOOK* "MXS*
Either "I'm afraid that bell means
*mother caller*.
AN OPENING FOR A YOUNG MAN
Fred (imploringly)—“ You know there is such a thing as your not being at home."
Ethel (suggestively)—“Yes, and
things as thing as my being
—‘Tit-Tit’”
SPLITS FIFTY-FIFTY
Ma Grump says: "Education? I dunno. There's about the same number of old men that believe in hair nics and the same number of young men that believe in women's promises."—Akron (O.) Times.
"Why did you put up your city hall to look like an ancient castle?"
CO-OPERATION
"Well, the movie people pay a good bit of taxes here, and they said it would be a great help in filming medieval scenes."-Pittsburgh Sun.
POOR PETE
Mrs. Nuritch—"Edith, what are you reading?"
Daughter—"Petrarch's poems, ma," Mrs. Nuritch—"Edith, haven't I warned you against the vulgar habit of shortening men's names. Say Peter Rarch." —Boston Transcript.
dise "How about getting married?" She "Getting married — if it's the right time" your tires and cut your gasoline bill in "St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
A FEMININE SOLOMON
"Where's your uncle, Tommy?"
"In France."
BY HIS LETTERS
"I think he has charge of the war?"
- Omaha News
"What is he doing?"
-Omaha News.
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Telephone K. U. 66
Classified Advertising Rates
WANT ADS
LOST-A waterman fountain pen in Library or at Bricks. Please call Kansas Office. $^{-2*}$
FOR RENT - A nice pleasant study with privilege of sleeping porch at a bargain for the rest of the term.
Phone 2344 B. 109-3-149.
FOR RENT- House at 1406 Tenn St,
St, now occupied by the Fne Arts School.
Will be put in repair. Vacated
Sept. 1st. Phone 1119.
PROFESSIONAL
G. W. JONES, A. M. M. D. Diseases of the stomach, surgery and gynecology I. F. A. U. Bldg. Residence and hospital, 1201 Ohio St. Both phones 35.
LAWRENCE OPTICAL CO. (Exclusive)
O u t m t o n (S) (E). Examined using
Laser Microscopy.
10-3-151.
J. R. BECHTEL, M. D., Rooms 3 and
4 over cMcCloch's, 847 Mass. St.
JOB PRINTING—B, H. Dale, 1027 Mass St.
St. Phone 228.
DR. H. REDIING> F. A. U. Bldg. Eye
Dr. H. REDIING> clashed fitted
Hours 9 to 5. Phone 513
FANCY DRESSMAKING and plain sew-
ing. Fabric 1121 red, below A, M, and
Phone 1212 red, below A, M, and
p
Base Ball Goods Athletic Supplies KENNEDY & ERNST Hardware
American Land Pencil Co.
215 Fifth Ave., Dep. 19 N. Y.
and across the world.
Engraved Cards for Commencement A. G. ALRICH
The only Engraver in town
736 Mass. St. Phone 288
CITIZENS STATE BANK
Why not carry your accounts here?
Deposits guaranteed.
THE UNIVERSITY BANK
Whn not carry your accounts here.
Deposits guaranteed.
THE UNIVERSITY. BANK
ED. W. PARSONS
D. W. PARSONS
Repairing and engraving diamonds, watches and cut glass.
feweler 725 Mass. St
We make your last year's hat look like new.
Phone 2253 833 Mass. St
We dye, clean, re-block felt straw or cloth hats for ladies and gentlemen.
Lawrence Hat Works
PROTCH
Conklin and
L. E. Waterman
Fountain Pens
McCOLLOCH'S DRUG STORE 847 Mass.
PALACE BARBER SHOP The Most Sanitary Shop in Town FRANK VAUGHN, Prop. 730 Mass.
The College Tailor 833 Mass. St.
Convenient to the shopping and Theatre District —especially handy for ladies. being at Eleventh and McGee. Cafe in connection paying special attention to banquets.
Hotel Kupper Kansas City, Mo.
712 Massachusetts Street
WALTER S. MARS, Mgr.
TAILORED TO MEASURE CLOTHES CLEANING and PRESSING W. E. WILSON
PARTICULAR CLEANING AND PRESSING FOR PARTICULAR PEOPLE
Lawrence Pantatorium
Phone 505
Phones 506
Bowersock Theatre MONDAY, APRIL 14th
The Most Important and Distinguished Engagement of the Year Margaret ANGLIN IN BILLETED
A Menny Comedy of Love NOT A WAR PLAY
EXACTLY AS PRESENTED ALL LAST 5FAST IN NEW YORK PRICES----50c to $2.00--Plus War Tax Seats on sale April 11 at the Round Corner Drug Store.