UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
JANUARY 8, 1919.
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Official student paper of the University
EDITORIAL STAFF
Editor in chief...Helen Pofer
News Editor...Luther Hancen
P. T. Editor
Sports Editor...Mary Samson
Sports Editor...Edgar Hollis
BUSINESS STAFF
Adv. Manager ... Lucile McNaughton
Circulation Mgr... Guy W. Fraser
KANSAN BOARD MEMBERS
Mary Smith     Fred Richig
Earline Alen    Equity怕萨
Valerie Viera    Valerie Whawe
Edith Ioles      Herman Hangen
Salva Shaees    Mungoy Roby
Munjory Roby
Subscription price $2.00 in advance for the first nine months of the academic year; $1.00 for a term of three months; 40 cents a month; 20 cents a month.
Entered as second-class mail matter September 17, 1916, at the post office at Lawrence, Kanas, under the act of March 3, 1875.
Published in the afternoon five times a week, by students in the Department of Journalism at the University of Chicago Presses of the Department of Journalism.
Address all communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Lawrence, Kansas
Lawrence, Ransie
Phones. Bell K. U. 25 and 66.
The Daily, Kansan aims to picture the undergraduate life of the students rather than merely printing the news by standing for the ideal of students as favorites, to be clean, to be cheerful, to charismatic, to serve serious problems to wiser heads in all, to serve to the students of the university.
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 8, 1919
EXIT GRAFT
The University of Kansas has actually progressed enough in politics to eliminate the old time so-called beauty contest and to institute a popularity contest, which will be conducted as a class election. The new plan announced by managers of the Jayhawker has met with the approval of practically every student and organization on the Hill.
had the plans not been changed,
this year's Jayhawker would probably not have been supported generally by the students. Three of the largest organizations on the Hill who had refused to support the old graft scheme, are behind the new movement and are doing everything to make the Peace Book a success.
Since the managers have shown that there is to be no graft connected with the contest this year, every student in the University should support the book and promote interest in the contest.
August Wilhelm, fourth son of the erstwhile Emperor of Germany, has a job with a motor car company. It is to be hoped that he is a mechanic, and will often get smugges on his face.
In spite of suffrage and woman's entrance into what were formerly purely masculine occupations, we observe that the only woman who is getting anywhere near the peace table is doing it because she married the right man.
THE SPIRIT OF THE ARMY "I will, Sir."
Not "I'll try, Sir."
These are words that the men of our army use. And when they are told to do things, the spirit of the army causes men to act whether the detail is agreeable or disagreeable, or whether there is a reason for it or not.
Why should this spirit not pervade in our University life?
For three short months, a former student of K. U. was in one of the camps, either at Funston, Grant, Taylor, Doniphan, or perhaps Sheridan. After he had been through the "mill," the swift conclusion of the war, the signing of the armistice, and the wholesale discharge of men, brought him back to the Hill. His professors looked at him as they had known him in preceding years. Plenty of brains, but a weak desire to use them for study. Plenty of ambition, but only enough to be able to slide through classes.
He enrolled! Took his usual fifteen hours work, and went to classes the first day. The knowledge of an eight-thirty was enough. The bugle at five-forty-five last October was
enough, and the sub-conscious obedience that is a second nature in the army brought him out from between the covers without a minute's mental debate. He went to class. "That night instead of that habilid desire for a movie, or small talk with the 'fellows,' he took a dig - into his books, with that same resistible energy he had learned in the army. And so with all his work! His athletics! His student activities!"
With that driving force that knows nothing but success he has gone at them. The "spirit of the army" has not forsaken him, but is with him yet, and although he had but three short months of the life that has straightened stooped shoulders, that has put fire in keen American eyes, that has given soggy brains new life and energy, that has put sturdiness into the bodies and power into the muscles of our American men.
How did three short months do this thing? Twenty-four hours of the day were utilized, and divided so efficiently that a maximum of work with all its benefits was derived. The spirit of the army, the spirit to do, and to work twenty-four hours of the day. It has given our college men, a new view of things he thought but yesterday to be unimportant factors in his success.
The faults of the Student Army Training Corps at the University of Kansas were many and serious. The latest offense that has been placed on the head of the University army is that they paid cooks such high wages that the culinary mechanics are now independently rich. This is the first time in the history of the United States Army it has ever been accused of making any one in the service independently rich.
WILL THE FLIVER COME BACK?
With the signing of the armistice and the returning of our men from across the seas, a problem nearly as big as the employment question confronts us. Before the war, a crawling thing bore the brunt of much of the wit of the world—the lowly flivver. Jokes, puns, witticisms, and humorous essays were unpityingly shot against its sturdy tin sides, and through them all it lived. Even the men who wrote these things rode to and from their work in flivers.
And then came the war. And soon
And then heard the war. And so we heard of another crawling thing! Not a crawling thing in which the men across the pond rode up to the trenches. No, indeed. These crawling things, unlike the fliver, except that there were just as many as there are flivers, went with the boys to the trenches, but the boys carried them. The cootie has displaced the fliver. Although cartoons, movies, jokes, puns, and a million other forms of humor have been directed toward popularizing the cootie, one thing seems certain. The cootie will not come back—with the boys. The fliver is still assured a place in the sun
In front of Fraser Hall there is a little block of stone which designates the site of an old arsenal, which used to be used for this section of the Kaw Valley?
DO YOU KNOW THAT
There are pillars on the north side of Green Hall, facing Mississippi Street, exactly corresponding to the pillars on the facade?
There are models of all the worlds famous diamonds, life-sized and sparkling, over in the geology building? Hundreds of murders have been committed for the possession of the original stones, most of which are now among the crown jewels of various Euporean monarchs.
Sammy: "How far is it to the camm?"
Sammy: "Well, how far is it if the blooming crow has to walk and carry a rifle and kithag?"
Native; "About five miles as the crow flies."
An objection was recently made against drowning stray dogs for feat hat so many sunken barks might instruct shipping.
BOW-BOW
Discovered by Readers of the University Daily Kansan
Readable Verse
When in disarray with fortune and men's eyes,
IN DISGRACE WITH FORTUNE
I all alone between my outcast snate.
And trouble die heaven with my boot
on the floor.
And look upon myself and curse my fate.
fishing me like to one more rich in
home.
Wishing the like to come near you,
hope,
he said, the like him, like him with
Featured like him, like him with friends yongseong.
let in these thought myself almost desoling.
scope.
With what I most enjoy contented
Like to the lark at break of day arris ing
state
Hispanic I am on the bank of a dry river.
From gullen earth) sings hymns an heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings.
wealth brings.
That them I scorn to change my state
Who is so crazy about his little daughter that he sings her songs and tells all her clever remarks to his classes?
William Shakespeare
That them I seem to change my stance with kings.
Who assigns long lessons, and then forgets and asks questions about other things?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO TO THE PROF
Who carries these papers in a black cloth bag drawn up with a string?
Who will not proceed with his lecture until the students nod a vigorous assent to everything he says?
(Editor's note — Seven-eights of the professors on the Hill are included in
Who explains two topics after the whistle has blown?
Merely Mental Lapses Jokes and Alleged Jokes
Dr. Paul F. Robinson, deputy coroner, likes jokes. A few days ago he walked into police headquarters, and a woman stopped was stopped by a newspaper reporter.
WHOA/
"Anything doing?" asked the re porter.
"I have a report that a man choked to death in a restaurant, but I haven't learned his name yet," replied Robinson.
"How did it happen?" asked the reporter, who had an ear for anything sensational.
"He was eating a piece of horsemeat," replied the doctor, "and somebody said whoa."—Indianapolis News
RETORT COURTEOUS
"What dirty hands you have, Johnny," said his teacher. "What would you say if I came to school that way?"
"I wouldn't say nothin'" replied
"I had to 'be do police.'
Jones: "Did you go to the oyster supper at the club?"
"We must conserve fats, muan'n we?"
"Why don't you use more elbow
rreuse?"
Jones: "Were there many there?
Smith: "I found one!"
Smith: "I did."
Mike O'Mara has got a new dog.
We asked Mike yesterday if it was a hunting dog as it came up to us, and Mike in a low voice said:
SOME EXCUSE
"What would your mother say, little boy," demanded the passer-by virtuously, "if she could hear you swear like that?"
"She'd be tickled to death if she could hear it," answered the bad boy. "She's stone deaf."
SHE WOULD BE PLEASED
The soldier was telling of his thrilling adventures on the field of battle to a party of young fellows, one or two of whom were skeptical us to his veracity.
"Don't talk so loud, he thinks he is."
"Look here." interrupted one of the doubtful listeners, "you mean the ambulance wagon."
"Then," he said, "the surgeons took me up and laid me in the ammunition wagon and—"
HIS PROPER PLACE
But the fellow shook his head. "No," he insisted; I was so full of bullets that they decided I ought to go in the ammunition wagon."
THE GREAT FORCE
The University of Missouri is among the 300 colleges and universities which are to have units of the Reserve Officers' Training Corps.
the companion of its sorrows.
All moods are mine. I am hilarious, I am frivolous, I am gray, I am serious, I am sad. I spin out the silver thread of happiness, the golden thread of comfort and solace. On wings of melody I bear the dreamer off to strange places and stranger lands. To the wanderer, I sing of home. In the despondent J renew resolve. To the despairing I bring hope. In the child I engender pure tastes, refinement and inspire noble thoughts and high ambitions.
I am the soul of the joy of life—the companion of its sorrows.
I am ever ready. I never tire. I am a well-spring of inspiration, relaxation, recreation. I am at home in the dwelling of the richest or the most lowly in the land—where roliges and uncles under the roofs that not known God.
In peace I had ever been at the service of man. In war was I to be found wanting? Was I to be thoughtlessly brushed aside in the tremendous rush to arms? Many there were who would have stillted my voice till peace should come again. But I was put to the test. I was not found cheerful. I pressed me. I found my niche, for I am full of cheer, of undying, unlickering resolve—of the spirit that knows not defeat.
Day and night found me on duty with the saviors of civilization—in the camps, on the ships, in strange foreign villages, in dingouts, in trenches right up to hell's partition—everywhere where death and danger were commonplace, soothing, humiliating, hush, singing of victory amid the battle's roar—restoring the balance of upset minds—chanting the dirge of devilry.
In war, as in peace, food, clothing and shelter come first in sustaining morale and rendering comfort. 1 come next.
I helped to win the war.
I am MUSIC.—Life.
LOVE
What is the measure of the love we owe to others? It is the measure of what we think is owing to ourselves. "Love him as thyself." Observe, if I may use such a word, the equity of this divine rule. It makes us the judge of what we ought to do. It imposes upon us no duty that we have not already acknowledged for ourselves.—Dean Stanley.
Plymouth Jottings
If you have been at K. U. very long you have heard the name of Ed Todd Ed is the sort of fellow who represents K. U. at its best. A gentleman, a Christian, an athlete, a servant of his country, a man loved by the boys of many a High School in the state of Kansas. In a quiet, modest way he has extended his influence into the lives of a great many amphibians. Vivifying, modest, one of the army of New Crusaders who never came into action for their country, he goes out now in a still more strenuous crusade.
Ed Todd sails almost immediately for Constantinople. He goes out under the Armenian and Syrian Relief Expedition for at least a year. It will be a great adventure. It will be a wonderful opportunity for service. It thrills all his friends with pride to know that Ed has this great chance.
New K. U., is proud of men like Ed Todd. But how proud? Proud enough to share his sacrificial spirit and speed him on his way with a certification of real faith in him? If so, I propose the Kanasi—Aned Todd Fund for Armenian Relief. You know the desperate need for food and clothing over there. You know the cruel story of the deportations. Will you help?
If you will, send your check to me or to The Kansan, and leave a bit of silver at the Kansan Office. We will render an account, and we pledge you that every cent contributed will go straight to New York without deducting postage or exchange. If you prefer to give through your own church or Sunday School, do so. The purpose of this article isn't to honor Ed Todd; it is to help him help the Armenians.
Here's a chance to show that you are a person of generosity and of imagination. If you are a faculty member your money is just as acceptable is that of a mere undergraduate!
Yours very cordially,
ROSS W. SANDERSON,
Pastor of Plymouth.
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WANT ADS
ROOM FOR RENT - For Boys. Furnished room in modern house for two boys. Coal furnace and sleeping porch. No other rooms in the house. Phone 2652 Blue. 50-3*47
Order aerced distilled water
MnMcish. Phones 108--Adv.
WANTED - Sometone to play the piano for a lively bunch at Anderson Co-operative Club. 1407 Ky. Phone 1505 W. 15-1-59
FOUND—Ostrich fur scorf on 12th between Mass, and Vt. Sunday evening. Owner may have same by paying for the advertisement. Call 2382. 52-1*-70
LOST-A self filling Parker four-
pen. Call 2382. 52-2*7-1
LAWRENCE OPTICAL 'O' (Exclusive)
`o` 0ptic `c` at the *a* eyes. Examined
`o` 0ptic `c` at the *a* eyes. Examined
PROFESSIONAL
G. W. JOXES, A. M. M. D., Diseases of
the stomach, surgery and gynaecho-
science. Suite 1, P. A. U. Bidg. Residence
and residence, 1419 Ohio St. North
phones, $5.
KEELERS BOOK STORE—Quiz books
artists' materials, drawing supplies
Pictures and picture framing. Agency
Hammond and Typewriters. 833 Mass
Street.
J. R. BECHTEH, M. D., Rooms 3
4 over McCloch's. 847 Mass, St.
H. R. DEDING—F. A, U. Bldg., Eye
Doring Hours 9 to 5. Phone 8132.
Hour 9 to 5. Phone 8132.
JOB PRINTING—B. H. Dale, 1027 Mass.
St. Phone 2284
DR. H. G. CABEELL, Physician and surgeon. Telephone 1284. 745 Mass. St.
- You need a Parker fountain pen.
There is none better. City Drug Store — Adv.
A. G. ALRICH
736 Mass. St.
Is the place to get the best in printing and engraving
Drop in to the
Drop in to the AUGUST J. PIERSON CIGAR STORE
A full line of cigars, tobacco and pipes, also pipe repairs. 002 Mason
ED. W. PARSONS
Repairing and engraving diamonds, watches and cut glass.
Jeweler 725 Mass. St.
902 Mass.
ED. W. PARSONS
Hotel Mueblebach
PALMETTO AVENUE AND TOLLBROOK STREET
Kansas City, Mo.
500
New Fireproof Room
Rate from $200
Under the Personal Direction of
S.J. Whitmore and Joseph Reichl
TYPEWRITERS Bought, sold, rented.
MORRISON & BLIESNER
707 Mass. St. Phone 164
Prompt Auto Delivery
Finest Breads and Pastries
PROTCH
BRINKMAN'S BAKERY
816 Mass. St. Phone 501
HOTEL SAVOY
TAXI 68
E. F. WIRTH
At Hatfield's Confectionery
709 Mass. St.
SUITING YOU is my business
Kansas City, Mo.
Absolutely clean
Convenient location
Good Cafes, moderate prices
SCHULZ the TAILOR
1917 Mass. St. Phone 9141
Taxi 148
Calls Answered early or late.
Moak & Hardtarfer
CLARK
CLEANS
LOTHES
730 Mass. Phone 355
Conklin and L. E. Waterman Fountain Pens
McCOLLACH'S DRUG STORE 847 Mass.
Hotel Kupper
1m
Kansas City, Mo.
Convenient to the shopping
Convenient to the shopping and Theatre District —especially handy for ladies, being at Eleventh and McGee. Cafe in connection paying special attention to banquets. WALTER S. MARS. Mgr.
Taxi 12
'PHONE "One-Two"
"ELECTRIC SHOE SHOP"
Rapid Quality Shoe Renairs
1017 $ \frac{1}{2} $ Mass. St.
Watkins National Bank
Capital $100,000
Surplus $100,000
Careful Attention Given to All Business.
TAILORED TO MEASURE CLOTHES
CLEANING and PRESSING
712 Mass. St.
W. E. WILSON
Phone 505