UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
JANUARY 1, 2019.
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Official student paper of the University
EDITORIAL STAFF
Adv. Manager... Lucie McNaughton
Circulation Manager... Guy W. Fraser
BUSINESS STAFF
Editor in charge ... Helen Poffer
News editor ... Luther Hangen
P. T. Editor ... Jesse Wyatt
Messenger ... Michael
Sports editor ... Edgar Hollis
KANSAN BOARD MEMBERS
Marine Smith Fred Bigby
Maryse Smith Fred Bigby
Genova Hunter Violet Mathews
Jonathan Riggs Charles Shawon
Bea Shores Charles Shawon
Subscription price $3.00 in advance for the first nine months of the academic year; $1.00 for a term of three weeks; 40 cents a month; 28 cents a week.
Entered as second-class mail matter
of the University of Kentucky,
Awrenceburg, Kansas, under the se-
cret号 of W. R. Garner.
Published in the afternoon five times a week, by students in the Department of History at University of Kansas, from the press of the Department of Journalism.
Address all communications to UNSW DAILY KANSAN LAWRENCE, Kansas Phonge, K. K., 28 and 66.
The Daily Kansan aims to picture the undergraduate life of our students, but rather than merely printing the news by standing for it, they also try to no favorizer; to be clean; to be cheerful; to be courageous; to leave more serious wiser heads; in all, to serve to the best of its ability the students of
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 1, 1919
PLEASE REMIT
Father is the real hero behind the lines. His regular battles of the first of the month are still going on, and are likely to continue indefinitely. But you would never know it, judging from that old-time Christmas dinner, would you? Father didn't mention conservation, or girare at you when you came back for "seconds." His heroism is of the silent variety.
Of the $14,000 pledged to the United War Work Fund by K. U. students during the campaign last fall, $0,000 has been paid up, and the other $5,000 remains uncollected. Only $200 of the $1600 pledged to the Student Loan Fund at the beginning of the first quarter has been turned in at the Registrar's office.
Today is the first of the year—the time to pay up back accounts, square yourself with the world, and take an invoice. Students who would never consider holding off a creditor, are standing off the University instead of paying in money which they voluntarily pledged to worth-while organizations.
S. A. T. C. men who believed last fall that they would receive government pay and subsistence during the entire year, are in a slightly different class from the ordinary student who has failed to pay up merely because of carelessness. Some of the men who felt that they were unable to meet their obligations to the various war funds have gone to the Registrar's office, and have asked to be released from their pledges. This is certainly a more honorable and business like method of disposing of the matter, than merely to let it slide.
Many S. A. T. C. men who did not return to the University this quarter have positions by this time. Within a few weeks or months they will be able to meet their obligations, and can send in the amounts pledged to the Registrar. They surely do not care to be put in the class with students who made pledges several years ago, which still remain unpaid. To be remembered at K. U. by your name on the Registrar's dead-bat list is at least unpleasant.
If you haven't paid your pledge, turn to the left in Fraser Hall, and step up to the Registrar's window. If you haven't the money, get out and earn it. It can be done.
REHOLD THE K.U. CAMEL
THE K.U. CAMEL
The camel has nothing on the K. U. student. For several centuries the human race has looked askance at the dictionary definition of "camel." "Nature faking," many personal termed the definition contained in this usually truthful book.
How, asked the serious thinker,
could a beast of any kind go seven days and then some without quenching his thirst? The average person shook his head and gave it up.
In those days the old-fashioned family well served its patrons in many ways. The family could go to it any time of the day or night and, by learning to operate the bucket, quench their thirst.
That well was a great invention. Cities have since tried to improve upon it by piping the idea and corporations have tried to bottle it, but the truth is, the well still remains as the one bright, wet spot in the memory of many.
The well became domesticated before the time of the present generation. Its usefulness has been taken for granted and the well itself was not missed until the present generation decided to go to college.
Then things happened. The fallacy of trusting to providence in the guise of city authorities to provide the real thing proved a big disappointment. Finally somebody suggested the bottled product for use between classes on the Hill. Again the college student was rebuffed. It would cost a tre-mend-ous amount, said the wise accountants. The state couldn't afford it, and so the student has gone thirsty.
The final result has been an earnest investigation by unbiased thinkers of the qualities of a camel. Perhaps the nature fakers were right. Mayhap the helpless camel does go seven days without a drink. We pity him, and envy him. We're doing our best to follow his example and if the present drought keeps up, we'll succeed. But, oh, you old-fashioned well and moss-covered bucket!
--people to know that more cigarettes are now sold by the Y. M. C. A. than by any other concern in the world. Los Angeles Times.
A family in Havana has asked permission to "dig up" a brass casset, to add to the family purse. Pretty brazzle we'd call it.
THE GLEANERS
Another University graduate has volunteered his services in foreign lands.
Not so spectacular, perhaps, as was the service of the fighting Yanks in war torn France, but quite as necessary is the self-sacrificing service of after the war workers.
The University of Kansas sent her sons to the front in answer to humanity's cry, and now she sends them to heal the wounds inflicted by the enemy.
A University graduate of last year has just been summoned to serve on an Armenian relief commission in Turkey.
A member of the faculty of the University of Kansas is represented in relief work in Russia.
Whether the government calls, or whether students offer their services to national organizations for relief work, or whether they, as individuals, serve humanity in a small way, does not matter, the point is they are ready to serve in time of need.
Many University students who have volunteered their services will go from army camps as recruits in the great reconstruction army now being organized. Commissions may be lacking, but the insignia of these volunteers will be the badge of service. To look forward to such service is the highest aim possible for students now in the institution.
"The entrance of the United States into the war was the greatest mental effort and spiritual realization of truth which has occurred in the whole course of secular history."—Winston Churchill.
'Our work and sacrifice will be in vain if the two English-speaking peoples do not set out to build a temple of humanity that no future generations will ever see destroyed.'—Arthur J. Balfour.
It may interest some of the good
Readable Verse
I heard the roisterous laughter of the wind.
OISTEROUGS LAUGH THE WIND
Discovered by Readers of the University Daily Kansan
As he rushed shrieking, screaming
THE WIND I heard the rolster laughter of the
father.
Running his great hands through the
shrinking grass
shrinking grass,
And tearing it handfu'u at his wili;
Twining his fingers lithe among the
***
Leaping and whirling down the valleys
trees
Churning the dark stream with hit
Churning the dark stream with his blundering feet,
Till the waves broke in foam about his knees: ...
Splashed the great raindrops as he flung them out,
Through the wide-fluttering folds of his waxy shell
He sang of life unending, storm and calm,
his gray cowl?
And his voice chanting, chanting in the
Between the gusts of laughter fiftiul broke.
And show faint gold in cloudenminted bars
And wood the sun to rend the lower sky,
Ask Roomie
—Eva Spurway, from "Waven Areas,
In Christian Science Monitor.
Dear Roomie:
Write, Call or Phone the Kanoon
She Will Answer Anything Thrice
a Wight Right Here
Write on; or Phrase the Kamen
I am a professor, but I want advice. There are forty-nine freshmen in my 8:30 class and I can't manage so many of them. I've tried threats and intimidation but they won't leave.
There is only one thing to do. Change the hour of your class to 4:30 o'clock. They won't stay with you then. You can't expect to have a small class in the morning.
Dear Sir:
Dear Roomie:
My rich great uncle sent me a pair of moccasin slippers for Christmas. He is coming to visit us next month and he will insist on seeing me wear the things. I would like to, but they are size six and I wear a four. What can I do? Rosalie.
Incog.
Roomie.
Dear Rosalie:
This is no problem at all. There are four different things you could do. One—Tell him you can't wear 'em. He will admire your honesty and frankness. Two—Hire a burglar to rob the house and take the moccasins. Three—Stuff them with cotton or anything available. Four—Try to shrink them. This might not work, but it would do as a last resort.
Dear Roomie:
Roomie.
You can hardly do anything to him. But you can run her harder than he can because you know the system. Even if he is a liet, he's also a freshman, and freshman are at a terrible disadvantage. Just behave as you always have only a few times more so.
Her aviator friend is back from camp with bars on his shoulders, and is going to enroll on the Hill. What in thunder can I do to him. Bill.
Dear Bill:
Roomie
Not being a member of that organization myself, I may make some mistake in advising you, but will do my best. An earnest interest in your work ought to be effective. Hereafter choose only those professors who wear the key and try to impress them with your intellect. The best way to do that, I think, is to cultivate an air of intense interest in class, supplemented with ten hours a day at hard study. If you follow this program you will doubtless achieve scholastic honor, and may learn a little something, too.
Dear Roomie:
I have just enrolled for my first term, and I wish to be informed as to how I can make Pali Beta Kappa and I want to have that honor.
One of our thrifty financiers bought a couple of lambs in the spring and used them as lawn mowers on his place during the season. They kept his sword nibbled to the proper length and also added to the picturesqueness of the home. He bought them for $4 apiece and as the season waned sold the pair for $25. He was at no trouble or expense for oiling or sharpening them, either—Los Angeles Times.
Dear Augustus:
Augustus.
I feel in myself the future life. I am like a forest once cut down; the new shoots are stronger and lively than ever. I am rising, I know, toward the sky. The sunshine is on my head. The earth gives me its generous sap, but heaven lights me up with the reflection of unknown worlds.
LIFE ETERNAL
You say the soul is nothing but the resultant of the bodily powers. Why, then, is my soul more luminous when my bodily powers begin to fail? Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart. I breathe at this hour the fragrance of the lilacs, the violets, and the roses, as at 20 years. The nearer I apprise the end the plainer I hear around me the immortal symphonies of the worlds which invite me. It is marvelous yet simple. It is a fairy tale, and it is history.
For half a century I have been writing my thoughts in prose and in verse, history, philosophy, drama, romance, tradition, satire, ode and song; I have tried all. But I feel I have not said the thousandth part of what is in me. When I go down to the grave I can say like many others, the one who has finished my days work." But I cannot say "I have finished my life". My day's work will begin again next morning. The tomb is not a blind alley; it is a thoroughfare. It closes on the twilight, it opens on the dawn.
Merely Mental Lapses Jokes and Alleged Jokes
The old man sawed away at the Thanksgiving bird patiently for an hour while his wife and her folks sat by and smiled.
"This is the toughest turkey I ever saw," said he.
Victor Hugo
"I have a little surprise for you,"
sand the wife. "It can't a turkey at all."
Turkish were so high I thought
I would save money and be patriotic
at the same time, so I got an eagle"
—Tamika State Journal
“Reasonin” wif a man can't always be depended on to prevent a fight,” said Uncle Eben. “Gittin de worst of an argument is mighty liable to make a weak-minded person so mad dat he pulls a razor.”-Washington Star.
ONE AGAINST ARBITRATION
Tommy: You never know, guw'nor.
If you've got, any sense you'll leave
off wearing your best hat-London Opinion.
FAIR WARNING
Topeka State Journal.
Oid Gent: "Do you think the Germs could really bomb London"
"without getting caught?"
"Women have always worked," replied Miss Cayenne. "The principal difference just now is that they are not wearing jeans and having putting paid for it."—Washington, Star.
"It is remarkable that so many women should be workwe"
STOCK TROUBLE
Married Recruit (Absently; "Yes my dear."-Tit-Bits.
"I saw a big policeman take a tum
on a piece of banana-peel."
HIS MASTER'S VOICE
"You call that patch a war-garden?"
Captain (Sharply): "Button ui that coat."
“Hasn't it the appearance? Since the drought hit it, it looks like a section of No Man's Land.”—Washington Star.
Aviator: "Here, take this chicken away—"
A RIGHT TO THE NAME
Waiter: "What's the matter with t, sir?"
'It's all wings and machinery.' London Opinion.
THE AIRPLANE CHICKEN
"Why do you keep referring to
you Anunnaki in the Bible, such as
phrubbing in the Bible."
REMODLED NAME
I put the 'von' in myself. The name of the original mendacity expert should be Germanized as much as possible."—Washington Evening Star.
MIGHT BE WORSE
"Don't you sometimes get tired or explaining to your constituents what you have been doing in Congress?" "No," answered Senator Sorghum, "or explain instead of jumping at their own conclusion."—Washington (D. C.)
The Winnipeg Telegram tells of a little girl who boasted that her father came from the war with a wooden leg. "That's nothing," said her small friend, "my ma has a c敦 chest."
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS
Telephone K. U. 66
Or call at Daily Kansas Business Office.
Classified Advertising Rates
Minimum charge, one insertion
25c. up to fifteen words, two increments
Fifteen to twenty five words, one
insertion 25c; three insertions
35c; four insertions, one twenty
five insertions, up one cent a quarter,
first insertion, one half-cent a
wheel additional insertion.
Classified cards are given upon
application.
WANT ADS
WANTED TO RENT—To girls, 3 or
4 students.
FOR RENT- Desirable south room for girl, 1340 Tenn. 45-5-54
WANTED TO RENT - 10 girls, 3 or 4 beautiful bed rooms. To one party or separately; strictly modern house, close to Hill. Coal furnace and plenty of coal. Phone 1243 Red, or 1319 Tennessee Street. 44-1-51.
LOST—Conklin pen with gold band.
Return to Marian Bradley, 1246
Mississippi Street. 44-3-52
FOR RENT—Two connected rooms,
unfurnished or partly furnished
with private bath and sleeping porch.
Phone 1520 Blue. 44-3-53.
LOST-A Schaeffer self-fitting fountain pen, before Christmas, in Fraser or Administration Building. Phone 1198. 46-3-5.
FOUND—The party who lost the ring with monogram A. T. may have same by押 for this ad. 45-3-56
LOST—A ten dollar bill Tuesday morning in Engineering building. Phone Theodore Buckland, 1243 Red. 46*2.57
FOR RENT—Two connected rooms in modern house, with private bath and sleeping porch unfurnished or partly furnished. Phone 1820 Blues
MIXED CLUB—1209 Oread. Phones
2511.
46-5-59
LOST—Off Taxi, between Santa Fe
station and 1106 Ohio, dark brown
leather suitcase. Marked K. P, G., St.
Joe, Mo. Finder call 1572 White.
Reward. 46-5-80
PROFESSIONAL
LAWRENCE OPTICAL "0", Exclusive
Optometrist. Eyes examined
regularly. 24-hour availability.
G. W. JOXES, A. M., M. D., Diseases of the stomach surgery and gynecology. Suite L. F. A. U. Bldg. Residence 1219, Ohio Rd. 3. Both phones, 25.
KERI EIS BOOK STORE
**ELEVERS BOOK STORE - Quiz books**
the paper maps, paper by the pound and
pencil drawings. Pictures, prints,
Pictures and picture framing. Agencies
and typewriters. $39-Max Street.
J. R, BECJITTL, M. D, Rooma St.
4 over McColloch's. 847 Mass. St.
DR. H. REDING—F. A. U. Bidge, Eye
need, and not hear. Glasses used
to see the doctor.
v. **I. K. OELEKIP** - Eye, Eye, Nose, and
Hand Special attention given to tonsils and
Special attention given to tonsils
JOB PRINTING—B. H. Dale, 1027 Mass St.
Phone, 2282
DR. H. G. CABBELL, Physician and surgeon. Telephone 1284. 745 Mass. St.
Hotel Kupper
Kansas City, Mo.
ED. W. PARSONS
Cafe in connection paying special attention to banquets.
and friends.
—especially handy for ladies,
being at Eleventh and McGee.
Repairing and engraving diamonds, watches and cut glass.
Jeweler 725 Mass. St.
SHAMPOOING
Rates 35c to 75c Hair work of all kinds
MRS C H SANDERS
WALTER S. MARS, Mgr.
MRS. C. H. S. DODELLS
1316 Tenn. St. Phone 1036
TYPEWRITERS
Bought, sold, rented,
renamed, exchanged
Prompt Auto Delivery
Convenient to the shopping and Theatre District
MORRISON & BLIESNER
707 Mass. St. Phone 164
Finest Breads and Pastries
BRINK M A N'S BAKERY
816 Mass. St.
Phone 501
TAXI 68
E. F. WIRTH
At Hatfield's Confectionery
709 Mass. St.
HOTEL SAVOY
Kansas City, Mo.
Absolutely clean
Convenient location
Good Cafes, moderate prices
Conklin and L. E. Waterman Fountain Pens McCOLLOCH'S DRUG STORE 847 Mass.
$ CHULZ the TAILOR
SUITING YOU is my business
117 Mass. St. Phone 914
Taxi 148
The Crispest, Freshest, Pop Corn in town at AUBREY'S PLACE (Next to Varsity Theater) Magazines, Fruit, Candies
Calls Answered early or late.
Moak & Hardtarfer
Hotel Muehlbach
BALDEN ROAD, THE STREET
Reagan City, MO
500
New Fireproof Rooms
Rate from 120
Under the Personal Direction
S.J. Whitmore and Joseph Rescal
A. G. ALRICH
736 Mass. St.
Is the place to get the best in printing and engraving
Taxi 12
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Dept. $^{19}$