UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
NOVEMBER 25,1918.
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Official student paper of the University of Kansas.
EDITORIAL STAFF
Mary Smith...Editor-in-Chief
Marlory Ibey...News Editor
Plain Takes Editor...Helen Petter
Mark A. Hunter...Editor-in-Chief
War Editor...Geneva Hunter
Lucie McNaughton ... Advertising Manager
Guy Frazer ... Circulation Manager
KANSAN BOARD MEMBERS
ANNAN BOCK
Edith Roles  Perfidam Gottlieb
Nadine Nair  Hermann Hangen
Bob Sloane  Fred Rubig
Belva Shores  Fred Rubig
Mary Simmon  Charles Hollis
Mary Simmon  Charles Hollis
Subscription price $3.00 in advance for the first month; 40 cents each for the next three months; 40 cents each for the remaining nine months. *10* a week.
Entered as second-class mail matter September
under the act of March 3, 1773, Lawrence, Kansas,
under the act of March 3, 1773, Lawrence, Kansas.
Builished in Die affärerfassung $B$ the matrix with a y-axis,
Builished in Die affärerfassung $B$ the matrix with a y-axis,
Builished in Die affärerfassung $B$ the matrix with a y-axis,
Address all communications to
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Lawrence, Kansas,
Phones, BELL K. U., 25 and 66.
The Daily Kannan aims to picture the undergraduate life of a human being more clearly printing the need by standing for the ideals the University holds; to play on fantasies to be heard to be cheerful; to learn and grow; to leave more serious problems to wiser heads; to learn more of its ability the students of the University.
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 25,1918
IT'S ALL OFF
IT'S a hard, hard life, this military one. They weren't planning on turkey and trimming this year, with home and mother in the background. All they had to look forward to was the football classic of the season, the burning of the striped tiger, a visit perhaps from little brother whose first view of college and military life it would be, and a chance to have a date.
But now a belated flurry of flu has stopped the game.
Feminine K. U, is also disheartened and disappointed. For them the game was largely a social event, but who shall say that they didn't enjoy it too? A football game is the best possible occasion to spring a chrysanthemum on the public, and any girl can tell you how dressy they are. Then there was usually everybody from last year in the stands, and the occasion was a grand home-coming event.
And the poor over-worked school teachers have felt the blow, too. The always manage to arrange their annual meeting at Topeka so that the delegates can go back to our old college days by running over to the "big game," if Missouri happens to be on the program. But now the school-marms will be compelled to spend their hard-earned increment in week-end shopping trips in Kansas City for want of better occupation. So someone else's mid-season vacation has been queered.
So it's a hard, hard life all around-
Fond mothers are now passing on the information to admiring neighbors that Jimmie was a physician's "assistant" in the recent flu epidemic at the barracks. Perhaps he was, but seem it's the M.D.'s called 'em "orderlies."
HAT TOO SMALL?
Is someone overestimating you? If that is true it is nothing about which you have cause to be vain. The best thing to do is to work harder than ever to live up to the value that has been put upon you and your work.
How many of us, who pride ourselves on a clear comprehension of things, are keen enough to see the satire in unmerited praise, when that praise is coming our way?
Perhaps we have written a theme which is very ordinary. Our professor and critic happens to read it after a satisfying meal. The result is that he eyes the manuserist favorably, finds some gleam of truth in it, and in his contented state, satisfied with himself and the world in general, marks the work with a high rating and uses up two or three lines in complaining the author. Many times his praise would be better merited if bestowed on the cook who concocted the chocolate sauce or tasty pie.
There are a few people who realize the true value of their own work enough to know what praise they have earned and what they have gained without good cause. The rest of us belong to the great majority, who, the moment they receive commendation from any source, immediately start for the nearest hat-shop to purchase a new covering for their heads.
Doubtless one reason why the navy never was quite so popular as the army is that the sailor boy's uniform is not blessed with enough pocket space.
WOMEN'S FASHIONS
It takes some speed to follow 'em—women's fashions. Whenever there's a war or anything, women get the idea and first thing you know there's a run on the quartermasters. See's it if women could get away from imitating the men—not that the men mind—most of 'em like it—but it shows that a woman has a one track mind.
Take the war fashions. What with helmets and things getting popular women began to look like warriors. Had 'em copied right from the real thing from the domes of some us highbrows and except for the weight and the fact that they wouldn't shed rain, you couldn't tell the difference. Then they took to the navy blouse—made 'em so scarce that they went up in price from $2.98 to $12.50. Then they got their eyes on some lieutenants and decided that khaki was the thing. They had 'em belted in and short and even worse leather puttees. Along with the style went the salute. Got so they used it on everybody from the corrier policeman to the visiti general. You couldn't train 'em to know the difference.
Avirator bennetts and crossed guns and things as insignia all went together and nobody knew from the effect what branch of the service a woman represented.
Now they are talking the peace uniform. Can you beat it?
Women and fashions is sure great to watch. Back home, before the war, a gingham apron was considered some style. Now it's "workalls." 4 If there's one thing Lloyd's won't insure—it's women's fashion.
Gas Shells
Soldiers' and Sailors' Edition. The Minneapolis Journal.
The Irish servant had a squad of recruits on the rife range.
He tried them on the 500 yard range, but none of them could hit the target. Then he tried them on the 300 yard, the 200 yard, and the 100 yard ranges in turn, but with no better success. When they had all missed on the shortest range, he 'looked in despair. Then he straightened,
"Squad, attention!" he commanded. "Fix bayonets!` Char-rge the target!"
The adjantant (to prospective orderly room clerk)—Well, Blithers, you say you're good at figures. Now, if there were four fouses on this table and I killed one how many would there be 'left?
Blithers: One, sir—the dead 'un.
Farmer (to soldier son just returned from the front): Well, Dick, what be these tanks like that there's so much talk about?
Son: Why, they're just wobbling thingmabobs, full o' what you may call 'ems, and, they blaze away like the dickens!
Farmer: Ay, I heard they was wonderful things, but I never could get any details before.
Passing through a military hospital, a distinguished visitor noticed a private in one of the Irish regiments who had been terribly injured.
To the orderly the visitor said: "That's a bad case. What are you going to do with him?" "He's going back, sir," replied the orderly, "Going back!" said the visitor, in surprised tones.
"Yes," said the orderly. "He thinks he knows who did it."
Bits of Readable Verse
Discovered and Handed in by Readers of the University Daily Kansan
THE WESTERN FRONT
And Jimmy was a German.
At first he wouldn't be.
He had a deadly bomb they found.
The Germans threw it.
There had to be two Germans
To make the kaiser's force;
And no Joe and him, being small,
The Germans could kill him.
There had to be a Germian
To have a war at all.
They must be a Germian
I am not small
I'd rather been United States
Or British or French.
British or German,
and put me in a trench.
The Allied armies won the day.
I shouted "Kamamed!"
But the world knew the Allies
Which made the Allies mad.
And Bomber Jimmy ran away
As fast as he could get
Before the enemy had crossed
Our wire parapet.
They let me the general,
But when he frowned at me.
I shouted "Hoch der Allies!"
And he had to set me free.
And Bomber Jimmy climbed the wall
And finished off the war
Dealing with bomb
and hurling down the core.
"Iane, Joseph and John. Their Book
The Allied armies won the day. I lobbed it Kroner d"
From "Jane, Joseph and John." Their Book of
Verse. Ralph Bergengron (The Atlantic
Tribune)
Tubby's Weekly Letter
Clip This and Send it Along to the K. U. Boy Over There
Dear Old Scout:
I don't have much time to stop and think these days for my second lieutenant here doesn't seem to know that the war is over. I'm hoping that he will get the glad news soon. Somehow, when Sunday comes I get to living over all those good times we had together last year. Remember when—but this isn't going to be one of those "remember" letters for you told me to keep you posted as to what the old school did this year.
Dear Old Scout:
Of course we don't know anymore than you do, just where we are going to be or what we will be doing next week. Lots of the fellows don't like that, but I think that makes life interesting. You see we can now truthfully tell all these girls (and say, boy, there are some new ones here that you would say are just about right) that we may leave for good, tomorrow. Because we may, we we don't know.
Remember, last week, or did I tell you, that 120 "birds" were sent to O. T. C. at Camp Grant and Taylor, Say, I never heard such a send off as they got. The girls all had that "I'd like to cry but of course I won't" expression on their faces. Well, half of those guys never even got out of Kansas and were back in time for the Varsity that Saturday.
Now those men can either re-encill in the S. A. T. C. or as civilians. Joe said he was going to cut-out the army life as he wanted to have a Friday night date without going to the President about it, but Biller said he thought he'd stay on Uncle Sam's pay-roll while, as girls weren't anything in his life anyway.
We get through our first term, December 21, and start all over again the thirtieth. The Senate had a big row about the advisability of the plan, but I think they did the right thing. If we want to attend the University after we get our discharge, we will have a better chance to start at the beginning of a term.
Have you heard of the K. U.-Missouri game being called off? That certainly made me sore, as we have Thanksgiving Day off and I was planning on having a glorious time Turkey day watching our team beat the Tigers. Those Missouri men must have got news of the "pep" that we've picked up lately. They said they couldn't get here on account of the flu. We expect to have a game anyway, with the Agggies, I think.
I almost forgot to tell you about the Nebraska game. You know, boy, our fellows played a good game. Bill was there and he said so. But those Cornhuskers were twice as heavy as our men, and in the mud that day, their beef just pushed them on to victory. Not through any head-work, you understand.
You always liked a good debate, didn't you? Well, the first debate meeting of the year was held Tuesday. The question was "Resolved; That the Government Should Adopt a System of Military Training for Universities and Colleges," I wonder if they will. Dean Kelly has a plan for military training in Kansas institutions that he is talking up now.
We are to have some good pictures of S. A. T. C. in the 1919 Jayhawker, I hear. They are going to call it the "Pace Book" and I guess $W$ will be a good one from all I can learn from the editor, Mary Smith and Lynn Hershey, the manager.
Goodbye, old boy, maybe if you knew how many times we think of you, it would help a little to keep up your spirits, when you are bunking around in cow-stables and such elegant quarters. We don't just think of you either for (I hate to mention it we would have liked to have done so much more) we pledged $14,000, $7,000 of which S. A. T. C. men raised. If my subscription helps to give you another movie, or a chance to hear some dame sing some syncapated tune, 'I'll be satisfied.
STANDARDIZED HUSBANDS
TUBBY.
Yours till you hear differently.
Now that everything is being standardized a bright woman suggests that a standardized husband would be in order. Probably wants one that can be wound up like an eight-day clock and come home with a full pay envelope on Saturday night. Husbands have been standardized now to the point where they set out the milk bottle, empty the water under the ice box and put out the cat, but they might be put in uniform and trained to beat rugs or hok a dress. The women will want it so arranged that they can go to a government warehouse and get a husband--model No. 1, house broke and capable of doing the cooking in a small family. An economical and efficient administration should be able to furnish in job lots for about four dollars apiece. If they fall down or go broke they can be returned as not being up to standard.-Los Angeles Times.
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS
For Rent
For Sale
Lost
Found
Help Wanted
Action Wanted
Telephone K.U.66
Or call at Daily Kansas Business Office.
Classified Advertising Rates
Classified Advertising Rates
Minimum charge, one insertion $2c; two insertions $5c;
three insertions $7c; four insertions $10c;
Fifteen to twenty five words, one insertion $2c;
Sixteen to seventy words, one insertion $5c;
Sixteen to seventy words, one insertion $7c. Twenty-
seven words, one insertion $10c. One insertion,
one half-cent a word each additional insertion,
each additional rates given upon application
WANT ADS
LOST—Five dollar bill between Brick's and Snow Hall Nov. 14. Return to Kansan office. 20-tf-22
LOST—Strand of pearls at Ecke's corner Saturday night. Please return and receive reward. Phone 1879. 21-ff-24.
WANTED—A roommate for daughter. Beautiful down statrs, front room. 2344 Blue. 18-tf-17
LOST—Watch fob with Sigma Xi key Reward if returned to C. P.
Alexander, 302 Museum. 25-2-31*
WANTED—A man to assist in the circulation Department of the University Daily Kansan. Work from 3 to 5am, or Mr. Banker. Natalam Office. 24-ff-26
LOST—A loose-leaf note book between the hill and town. Finder please return to Kansan Office.
24-3-27 $ ^{*} $
FOUND- Self filling Conklin foundate
new, near Ad Drilling. Owner
can have pen by describing same and
paying for this ad. Phone 1188.
312-647-2988
FOR RENT —Pleasant east room con-
vention to clubbing clubs and Uni-
versity, 1336 Tenn. Phone 2055
White. 24-3-29
LOST-Bon Ton fountain pen, between Fraser Hall and Massachusetts Street, on Tuesday. Finder please call 353. 25-tf-30
PROFESSIONAL
LAWRENCE OPTICAL CO. (Exclusive)
LAWRENCE garrisoned. Offices: 1025 Massa-
menon.
G. W. JONES, A. M. M. D. Diseases of the stomach, surgery and gynecology. Suite I, F. A. U. Bldg. Residence 2609, 1219 Ohio St. Both phonies, 35.
KEELEP'S BOOK STORE—Quiz books,
artifacts, a material's, drawing supplies,
Pictures and picture framing, Agency
and typewriter. 935 Mass.
Sweet.
J. R. BECHELT, M. D., Rooms 34
4 over McCollouch's. $47 Mass. St.
DR. H. REDING—F. A. U. Bldg., Eye,
Hours 9 to 6. Phone 5-113.
Hours 9 to 6. Phone 5-113.
C. E. ÖREILF—Eze, Ear, Nose, and
Nostril Products,
Special Offer Store and
Special Offer Dick's
Store.
JOB PRINTING—B H. Dale, 1927 Mass.
S. Phone, 2862
DR. H. G. CABBELL, Physician and surgeon. Telephone 1284. 745 Mass. St.
DAN'S CAFE
The Place to Eat
Try us and be convinced
906 Mass. St. Phone 159
LAWRENCE HAT WORKS and SHINING PARLOR For MEN and WOMEN
833 Mass. Phone 2253
Shampooing and Hairdressing
Rates 35c to 75c
Hair Work of All Kinds.
MRS. C. H. SANDERS
1316 Tenn. St. Phone 1036
THE OWN STORE
A MARKS & SON
Jeweler, Lawrence, Kansas.
The Original Marks Jewelry Store
735 Mass. 84.
TAXI 68
STUDENTS' SHOE SHOP
E. F. WIRTH
At Hatfield's Confectionery
709 Mass. St.
ED. W. PARSONS
AUBREY'S PLACE (Next to Varsity Theater)
1107 Mass. Lawrence, Kas.
Work and Prices Always Right.
We also repair and cover parasols.
SUITING YOU
is my business
S CHULZ the TA I LOR
917 Mass, St. Phone 914
The Crispest, Freshest, Pop Corn
Magazines, Fruit, Candies
TAXI and AUTO LIVEI
PHONE 148
We answer your calls
early or late
Prop. W. E. MOAK
diamonds, watches and cut glass. Repairing and engraving
Conklin and L. E. Waterman Fountain Pens McCOLLOCH'S DRUG STORE 847 Mass.
HOTEL, SAVOY
Absolutely clean
Convenient location
Good Cafes, moderate prices
CHRISTMAS GOODS
CARDS ENGRAVED
EVERSHARP PENCILS
TEMPOINT; WATERMAN
and
SHEAFFER FOUNTAIN
PENS
Reduced to ten cents a yard.
Sewing machines rented by week or month.
SINGER SEWING MACHINE CO.
fass. St. Look for the Red S. Phone 577
HEMSTITCHING
CARTER'S 1025 Mass.
HESS DRUG STORE
Magazines and Periodicals, Douglas Chocolates, Flash Lights, and Pool Cone Colo.
Only Drug Store on East Side of Mass, St
742 Mass. S
Phone 537
Watkins National Bank
Capital $100,000
Surplus $100,000
Careful Attention Given to All Business.
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