University Daily Kansan, December 7, 1981
Page 3
Christmas can intensify feelings of loneliness
By LISA BOLTON Staff Reporter
There is no worse time than Christmas to be lonely.
Though some people may feel lonely all year 'round, Christmas cheer intensifies the feeling, the Rev. Gary Bryant, who led a workshop on coping with Christmas last week, said yesterday.
"Feelings of loneliness are aggravated at this time of year because of the way our culture advertises human contacts and relationships," said Bryant, a pastor and counselor at the Plymouth Congregational Church.
Loneliness is different from the feeling of nostalgia, which anyone may feel at Christmas, he said. Nostalgia is a temporary wish to return to the past. Loneliness is a lasting feeling of isolation
He pointed out that solitude—being alone—is not necessarily being lonely.
"Loneliness is when people experience that they lack meaningful human contact with another person," Bryant said. "It is painful, draining and
"Solitude is a voluntary withdrawal from other people-refreshing, rejuvenating and enjoyable," he said. "Loneliness sweeps over people sometimes, and they can't seem to get out from under it."
DURING THE WORKSHOP, Bryant talked about the causes of loneliness to a group ranging from students to people over 60.
He said about 25 percent of the group was students, and about 60 percent was faculty.
"Many had experienced a death or a divorce in the family in the last five years.
Bryant discussed four basic causes of loneliness
A person may become lonely as he or she grows up because he or she never developed feelings of attachment to and feeling alone. Her parents or other people early in life.
"When children are ignored or constantly criticized, the begin to feel uneasy."
and they withdraw," Bryant said. Such loneliness is caused by development.
Psychologically caused loneliness often results from low self-esteem, he said, or "self-defeating attitudes."
He said such attitudes caused other people to avoid the lonely person because he or she seemed not to need anyone else, because he or she acted superior or hostile, or because he or she seemed to feel sorry for himself.
SOCIAL CAUSES of loneliness include television, which limits people's interaction on the characters on the screen, and the more frequent separation caused by a more mobile society he said.
Students, who no longer live in their families' homes but who have not established homes of their own, may experience separation loneliness, he
The situational causes of loneliness are family death, divorce, or being 'different' because of a handicap or disability, for example, he said. Homosexuals may experience loneliness because they are a minority.
Bryant said he suggested long-term ways of alleviating loneliness to the participants of the workshop.
“It’s important to admit to yourself that you are lonely,” he said. “Let yourself experience it. Don’t turn to others who don’t know anything else that would dull the pain.”
The person who feels a nagging sense of loneliness should examine his or her life and determine the causes of the loneliness, Bryant said.
He or she can then accept the causes that cannot be changed and work to change the causes for which he or she is responsible.
"A lot of people will say, 'I'm lonely, and hope people will reach out,' he said. "You have to be the one to reach out," he said. "Sometimes things that are causing your loneliness."
Bryant said that a person who feels lonely should not be afraid to let others know and to ask for help.
"I strongly encourage people coping with their loneliness to seek professional help, or even paraprofessional work. This is a reason to continue to suffer with firm IU."
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Major focuses on women and societv
A STUDENT majoring in Women's Studies can go into many professions, McDermott said.
"Many of our students double major. Women's Studies can provide a basis for careers in journalism, literature, psychology, for just a few," she said.
The Women's Studies Program has been on the KU campus for almost 10 years and has been an approved major for four years, but Diane McDermott, the coordinator for the program, recently said things hadn't changed that much in the last decade.
By PAM ALLOWAY Staff Reporter
The past few years have seen some changes, however, McDermott said.
"No, Women's Studies hasn't been fully integrated into the University's curriculum yet," she said. "The program was created by a woman, and yet women make up more than 50 percent of the population. Why should it be treated as a special topic? I'm not saying we shouldn't have this program, because the level of sensitivity that needs still has been reached."
it *passes it* would reflect a climate of desire to change the direction toward the equality of women," McDermott said. "But I'm really more afraid of it not passing. If it doesn't, it would reflect a real interest group in the county toward women and other special interest groups."
One of her concerns, she said, was students' awareness, or rather the lack of it, regarding social and civil issues. For an example she cited the issue of the Equal Rights Amendment.
She explained that full integration would mean that half of the teaching faculty were women and that half of the secretaries were men.
The importance of the passage of the ERA isn't realized by some members of both sexes, she said.
"Some women aren't aware we need that. There's an ostrich behavior out there with people they have their heads in the sand," she said.
THE NEED FOR an awareness of social concerns is one of the reasons for the Women's Studies Program.
The program consists of 15-20 courses each semester that are drawn from various departments in the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences.
Women's Studies is an interdisciplinary program of courses with an emphasis on women.
"The program was developed because there's not a full integration at the University." McDermott said. "There has to be a place where women are a focus of the curriculum and notice is given to the contributions they've made to our culture."
McDermott said between 600 and 700 students enrolled in Women's Studies courses each semester. However, only about 12-15 students a semester declare Women's Studies a major. She said that during the four years Women's Studies had been offered to women men had majored in it. There is now one man majoring in Women's Studies.
A major in Women's Studies requires 30 hours of course work for a bachelor of arts or general studies degree.
She said the number of courses in the program had increased and a service training program had been added. In the training program, students work in the community in various social organizations.
"The training program serves as a bridge between the academic world and the community," she said. "Over the long run it makes the whole program less ivory towrist, more down to earth."
McDermott said there is also a community discussion group that is coordinated by the Women's Studies Program. The group, which meets every three weeks, discusses various women's issues.
Low interest threatens January ski trip
Student Union Activities may cancel a planned January ski trip because of a lack of interest, a spokesman said yesterday, but three SUA trips scheduled for spring break probably will be a success. "The January trip hasn’t officially been canceled yet," said the spokesman, who added that "SUe‘We’re going to wait one more day to see if there will be any more interest."
If another 15 people sign up by this afternoon for the six-day trip, he said, then the tripm will proceed as scheduled.
The trip was scheduled for Jan. 3-9 in the Summit Countyskia area in Colorado, he said. The trip would cost $286 in lodging, lodging skia and lift tickets.
"The way it looks now, to fill a bus we'll need 29 or 30 people." Wee said.
However, things don't look quite as bad for a ski trip to Taos, N.M., over spring break, he said.
"It covers about everything except for what you eat." We added. "This is the only ski trip we have scheduled for January."
"People are signing up now, and we've gone every year," Wee said.
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"We had a lot of interest even with the poor snow conditions last year."
The most popular trip probably will be SUA's annual excursions to South Padre Island, Texas, Wee said. For the first time the tour, planned for March 2016, include accommodations at Bahia Matto, just a few yards from the beach.
Another traditional trip will be the one to Daytona Beach, Fla., he said. Scheduled for March 13-21, participants will head to Daytona Interstate Bankwark in Daytona Beach.
"I guess the glamour of going to Florida really attracts people," Wee said. "But all of our spring break trips are doing pretty well."
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