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Page 4 University Daily Kansan, November 18, 1981
Opinion
'X' marks the spot
Students like to complain.
In that regard, they are a lot like everyone else these days. After all, there seems to be so much to complain about: increases in tuition, cutbacks in student loans, high prices on parking tickets, lack of a pre-enrollment system, inadequate student advising, controversial plus-minus grading policies. Often, it seems that students have very little say in the decisions made on such issues.
A voice that is supposed to represent these students, the Student Senate, is constantly accused of failing in its primary task. Senators don't really care, the students charge, and they don't have any real power to do anything.
Every year, candidates come forward with talk of restoring credibility to Senate, of increasing student involvement, of making sure the voice of the students doesn't fade to a whisper outside the door to the chancellor's office or the Legislative chambers.
But every year, a meager portion of the student body—usually about 10 percent.
responds to these pleas for support. The rest of the students, presumably, either don't think their votes matter, or don't care in the first place. No wonder Senate fails to adequately respond to and represent the bulk of the students.
Senate cannot begin to function as a more forceful unit until it truly has the backing of a substantial part of its constituency. The governor, the Legislature and the University administration would be hard-pressed to ignore the opinions of a united and vocal student body. A few token speakers, however, are likely to be minimally effective.
It's much easier to complain about things than to try to do something to change them.
This year's candidates in the Senate race—especially those running for student body president and vice president—have tried hard to reach the students and speak to the issues. Now it is up to us. On this, the final day of elections, every one of those X's will indeed count.
Wanted for abuse of English: today's ads and commericals
American English is on a slow path to destruction.
But don't throw the Funk & Wagnals at Secretary of State Alexander Haig and other bureaucrats for mutilating the language. We can suffer through such monstrosities as, "It is incumbent upon the administration to prioritize its administrative mode, policy-wise, at this point in time."
And don't rip up the Roget's when listening to Howard Cousell and other sports announcers. "Procuring a first down" and "relative paucity are classic Casselons that should be included."
The real culprit in our language's demise is much more insidious.
KARI
ELLIOTT
The culprit is advertising, or more directly,
the people who own newspapers and
television commercials.
Creative spelling must be required study for copywriters. Possibly to save valuable ad space, the word "through" has evolved into "thru". The same pattern of inflection is used in English that makes more sense to a non-native speaker.
But it must have been a Midwestern copywriter who came up with "2-fer" to replace "2-for." That copywriter probably says, "list a reason for the change." This reason forms "sharing the," "except cuban."
Cute spelling dominates the world of Madison Avenue. Where else would you find Kool-Aid, Kwik Shops, jelli muffins, Duz soap and Choc O Bits?
Now banks, those conservative, stand institutions, have jumped onto the creative
Once a month, thousands of people deposit money in Cibitlab. Banks don't need to be cute
Correct grammar also seems to be unknown to the copywriter. For years, Winston advertsurements have reinforced like" as a concession that Winston tastes good like a cigarette should."
This bank has also started using "Citizenpeep" and "Citidades." I hope citidesek don't catch on elsewhere, because I can't see a newspaper city editor sitting at a citidel.
by dropping the "y" for an "i." Leave that to cereals and soaps.
Using "like," rather than "as," for the conjunction has been so ingrained that it slips by easily, but another error in grammar doesn't. I nearly shoved my foot through the television screen when I heard a child in a Curad commercial say, "It don't touch me."
In addition, there are ads for blankets with a "truly unique blend of imported goose feathers" or with a "very unique design." If blankets can be slightly pregnant or very dead.
Advertising writers also love hyperbole. A Kansas City clothing store described its sale and products as "fabulous, amazing, fantastic, huge, incredible, tremendous, most wanted, super and super duper." That's nine adjectives in one ad. Not bad.
The Federal Trade Commission says advertisers can use puffyfey if the claim is obviously absurd or exaggerated. So a car drive like this may be dangerous for the keeper and peanut butter can be the peanutty.
This language inflation has caused words to lose their meaning. For example, no longer can consumers buy a mattress. They must decide whether they want one that is gentle firm, firm, extra firm, extra firm plus, luxury firm, super firm or ultra super firm.
Will advertisements multilate and abuse English so much that Americans of the 21st century won't be able to understand today's English? Probably not, but only because most Americans don't read newspaper advertisement material in the kitchen during commercials, avoiding the abuse.
Plaving the new White House game
Welcome to King's Row, the exciting new game of executive action. You're the president, you're the boss! How will you respond to these situations? Will you wnake 'm or rebuke 'em?
King's Row is a game of chance and skill, but as you'll see, mostly chance. A roll of the dice determines which player will receive.
WHO CAN PLAY? Any member of the Screen Actors Guild who has dabbled here and there in politics. Refined, dignified but playmasters played preferent. No blacks need apply.
OBJECT OF THE GAME: To go backward around the board as many times as you can in four years. Most of the moves will send you ahead, but sometimes actually put you ahead. Try to avoid those!
SOME SAMPLE MOVES:
Your wife spends more on silverware than you spend to feed the poor. Go back two steps.
At a Cabinet breakfast, you accidentally ask your secretary of HUD for the check. Oops! All HUD secretaries look alike to you. Go back five steps.
You spend so much time at Camp David that they start calling 160 Pennsylvania Ave. the "Little White House." Go back one step, and spend more time at home.
Your budget director embarrasses you by revealing that your economic plan is a crock. He also reveals that your bellybutton is an oak tree, and the street is positively shocked. Go back six steps.
war, and your staff doesn't bother to wake you. Go back 10 steps.
You're angered because the only thing those dumb reporters want to do at press conferences is ask a lot of questions. Hold press conferences as infrequently as possible.
The United States enters, fights and wins a
You realize there won't be enough Navy volunteers to staff all of those new ships you want built. Rather than reinstitute the draft, you start seizing British ships on the high seas and pressing their crewmen into service with them. The military doesn't have says nasty things about you and Mormoy.
The Pacific Palisades post office doesn't know who you are or where you've moved.
DON MUNDAY
Blame the networks for not showing reruns of "Desert Valley Days" often enough. Go back on page 392.
Your tough talk to the Reds finally pays off. The dirty Commies dump a bomb on St. Louis. Criticize Leonid Brezhnev's integrity as you order the IRS to adjust its tax tables to accommodate 2 million fewer taxpayers. Go back 15 steps.
You keep on pledging to support the truly needy until someone figures out that the truly needy is the Chase Manhattan. Go back four steps.
Slash federal spending on solar power development because the sun will burn out in it.
You appoint a woman to the Supreme Court. Despite your best efforts, women's rights are violated.
You're saddened because an ungrateful Hollywood hasn't done a movie on your
younger days as it did for President Kennedy.
Try to convince Paramount to do a
Republican show of 'PT-109,' this time
through an hourlong and-
coming Cubs broadcaster, Lose one turn.
You Fire Hyman Rickover because he's too old. Hyporty, thy name is Runnge! Go back
Operate the country on the theory that we'll have fun, fun, fun 'till the Arabs take our oil away. Go back 20 steps when that oil is finally cut off.
The air traffic controllers play walkout roulette with you. They don't believe you'll hold your ground; they're wrong. You'd lose the labor vote anywav. Go ahead two steps.
You want to revive battleships despite their uselessness in modern warfare. Rationale: They looked neat in "Tora! Tora! Tora!" Spend $400 million and go back three steps.
Your national security authority can't understand how he forgot about that $1,000. Tell him.
You engage in a war of wits with Tip O'Neill about which of you was the poorest kid. You win when you prove you were so poor you couldn't even afford parents. Lose one turn.
You believe what the El Salvador regime tells you. Go to the CIA to gather some intelligence. In the meantime, go back five steps.
You decide to postpone a final decision on the MX missile until about 1985. That way, Walter Mondale can figure the damn thing out. Go back three steps.
Keep preaching that prosperity is just around the corner, despite what the consumer price index keeps telling you. Make the trade card the national emblem. Lose two turns.
Do not pass go, do not collect $200,000
Letters to the Editor
KU students stumped by lack of quiet study space
To the Editor:
One blinks in amazement to learn that KU students who are quietly and diligently studying—doing the very thing they should be encouraged to do—are asked to leave a University of Kansas libr. y, as was reported in the Nov. 10 Kansan.
Many of us had the quaint notion that the KU law library was somehow a part of the University of Kansas and that its rooms (including study space) were open to any properly enrolled KU student. This apparently is not the case.
The blame is not to be laid on the law school alone, however, for the problem is a far more general one. Just where are KU students supposed to study?
The dormitories, fraternities and sororites are notoriously bad as places for serious study. Watson Library, in spite of a recent, attractive renovation, is incredibly lacking in enough places where one can quietly and comfortably settle down to work. The housing and lending of books are not the only functions of a university library. Where is the large, hospitable reading room one is accustomed to finding at most comparable American universities?
The problem of study space at KU is eloquently stated by the fact that at least one local restaurant has even had to impose a "one-hour study limit" on its customers. But it is not the responsibility of commercial establishments to study space. It is the responsibility of KU.
Learning is the main business of a university. It follows, therefore, that the main priorities must be classrooms, libraries, laboratories and good places to study. All the rest is secondary.
Bryant Freeman Professor of French
Praise for the coach
For a 3-4 record in 1979 to a 4-5-2 record in 1980, and now to a 7-3 record with one game remaining on the 1981 schedule, Head Coach Don Fambrough has really caught the taste of winning back into the football program and, I hope, into the fans, too. Therefore, I would like to say thanks to Coach Fambrough, who is truly a remarkable and inspiring coach.
John Skirmont Markham, Ill.. junior
for the last three years, under the head coaching Don Farnbrough the KU football team.
To the Editor
On banning backpacks
Once again, the Kansas Union Bookstore shows that it has no real concern for the students that it serves. The latest outrage is the new nobackpack rule noted in the Nov. 12 Kansas.
To the Editor:
According to the story, students will no longer be able to carry their backpacks and briefcases in with them. This new rule is unreasonable, especially because no secure alternatives are available to carrying one's belongings into the store.
Previously, during the beginning of each semester (and all the time at the Oread Bookstore), both the Union bookstore and the Barnes & Noble left at the door. This was reasonable on two accounts. First, the crowds in the stores were overwhelming at these times and the staff was unable to shop for bookplates. Second, and most importantly, the place for checking one's bazaarware was provided.
With the new rule, there is no safe place, especially at the Satellite Union. There, with its own satellite, it is safer.
pray to her or her God that he a $200 calculator will not disappear. While one is inside the bookstore you might be thinking of the other.
The KU bookstore advertises that it is the "only bookstore to share its profits with KU students." If it continues to insist on being callous with this new backpack policy and other equally discourteous actions toward the students it is supposed to serve, then I prefer to take my money for the books. In contrast, his profits with me will at least treat me as a human being and not as a walking wallet!
Jay S. Boggess
Dearborn Heights, Mich., senior
Jay S. Boggess
Concert a mind-blower
To the Editor:
It's the next morning and my ears are still ringing. I made the mistake of attending the Molly Hatchet concert on Nov. 13—I missed my tusic in music for a pair of free tickets.
A friend of mine likes hard rock, so I thought I'd invite him. I also thought that the novelty of the experience would be good for me. Sometimes she wants to be entertained by walking my own rather conservative path.
Don't get me wrong. I've been to rock concerts before, but I've never been to a Moly Hatchet concert, and I've certainly never been to a band. I've been the warm-up band DVC, nor will I ever again.
Members of DVC jumped out on stage looking at unhealthy as they possibly could (although Molly Hatchett's members succeeded in looking even more unhealthy, hence their greater claim to fame). DVC's bass guitarist resembled a praying mantra that had been shot with a hunter's rifle. I did not dotted as well. I told myself to quit judging appearances and kicked myself for my prejudiced notions. I decided to listen to the lyrics, but alas, I could decipher nary a word.
So I decided to listen to the music (for to shut out the decibel level of the speakers was a virtual impossibility). There was some sort of internal physical appeal from the beat of the drums; an artificial excitement produced within the safety of Hoch Auditorium.
I was trying very hard to have fun, but I was taking. This concert was becoming increasingly dull.
My free tickets were close enough to the stage for me to see the group clearly. The electrified praying mantis was jumping up and down and contorting his face into all sorts of strange shapes, and I couldn't tell whether weren't even cold eyes or bitter eyes, just lifeless ones. It dawned on me that he had probably taken a few pills before the concert and was now somewhere out in space. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the guy on my left inhalte a fine white liquid into his nose, and then he too drifted into oblivion.
Judy Werder
Topeka junior
By the time Molly Hatchet was to come on stage, things began to fall into place. Feet began stumping and hands clapping in unison. The audience laughed and giggled, but broke the darkness, and I felt as if I were witnessing an altered form of midnight Mass. God knows I'm not very religious, but the satanic nature of the event really bothered me. At least it was fun. Friday night we were wormshipping decadence.
It began to seem as though the whole rock concert experience was a process of desensitization. First, the audience becomes desensitized to the outside world, then it becomes desensitized to the concert itself. But at the same time, the music creates a physical sensation.
When the lead singer threw a towel into the audience—a relic to take home—I decided it was time.
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