University Daily Kansan, November 17, 1981 Page 5 Anorexia From page one TAA about making arches for tar far for asy use usy the helping the harterly fairly into to bring viving "Maybe it did start a long time ago," she said, remembering once when she was in fifth grade and her father had teasingly poked her tummy. He had said, "You're getting a little roll, aren't you?" She said, "I had on these little knit shorts. I looked down and thought, huh. I guess I am. It looks like a t-shirt." Atchiey said, "They all start out on a diet and do it right through the sound barrier." Kim elided the line from dieting to starving when she dropped 15 pounds in the spring. She said her relationship with her parents grew tense when she thought she wasn't doing as well as her two older brothers had done at KU. "Hard as I worked, it seemed I just couldn't do anything." she said. HER MOTHER said she and KIM's father had solded comparing their children with each other. "I wanted to see Kim and to talk to her," she said. "I felt sad, I left feeling depressed, and she felt she thought I was wrong." Kim said that losing 15 pounds so easily tempted her to lose more. "I think I was very immature," she said. "I resented the fact that I was not little Miss The senior she dated would remark about her eating and question her eating and exercise habits. "He'd ask me what I'd eat that day and "he'd jogged. "Kim said, shuddering at the sound." Though they broke up the next summer, Kim's self-imposed demands grew harsher. She ran several miles ech day, substituting running for dinner. When people asked her why she didn't eat, she said she wasn't hungry. "Sometimes at night I wake up and be so hungry that I don't get sick," she said. YET FOOD obsessed her. She wrote down everything she ate. She pored over recipes with no intention of cooking. She memorized lists that labeled egg whites and yolks separately. Kim's paradox of being fascinated with the ability to anger (ā‰ˆ typical of angriness, Acheyed) which "They know how many calories are in a raisin," he said. "They'll work in restaurants, they'll cook big meals for their families, then serve them on plates on their plates while everyone else eats." Kim said, "Just the thought of having food in my stomach, of being full, made me feel grass, angrass. When I did get really hungry, I endured expulsion. I didn't think about power I had over myself." KIM SAID her grades improved as she plunged into her studies with high-voltage, nervous energy. She sleep less and ran more. She also fashion ads for a Lawrence clothing store. Even the photographer called her a stick, she said. "The more times people said I looked skinny, the better I felt," she said. Ackley said Kim's unnatural energy came from a feeling of power. "They get high, these people," he said. They feel good in control; you are not starving. By the fall of her sophomore year, Kim carried 98 pounds on her 5-foot-6-inch frame. Her new boyfriend grew worried, then angry. One night, before leaving together to see a movie, he demanded that she eat the ham sandwich he put in front of her. "I just sat there picking at it for three hours while he watched me," she said. "Finally, he said, 'There's something wrong with you.'" "From thee, Kim didn't bicker." HER PARENTS were startled when she flaunted size 3 clothes at the family's Thanksgiving dinner, but they didn't want to aggravate the situation by seeming critical. Her mother began reading about anorexia nervosa, and Kim continued to diet relen- She outran reality until she dropped to 85 degrees before spring semester classes were to begin. "The province president came up and saw her, but it just scared the hell out of her," Kim said. While sorority rush went on downstairs, Kay lay in bed in bettushes, too weak to lift her arm. She called Kim's mother at work to come get her daughter. "My mom would hardly look at me," Kim said. She said, "You're out of my control; I can't handle it." Kim said she felt relieved lying in a hospital bed with intravenous needles taped into her "I thought, 'I don't have to worry about it anymore,'" she said. Atchey said most anorexics began to swing back toward health after they reached the breaking point and could no longer keep up the pace of normal people. "You're damn right they are," Ackley said. "The body begins to consume the organs." A few hang at the emaciation point indefinitely. they confound the experts". he said, "They should cover after she got a jarring look at reality. A hospital nutritionist told her exactly what she was doing to her body by starving it. "When he said I wouldn't be able to have kids if I continued to do this, I realized that what was happening did go beyond me," Kim said. Learning to eat again took time. "It would take me two hours to eat dinner in the garden," she said. "Lady lady would come and sit with me while I wait." Kim returned to KU in time for spring enrollment. In a photograph which shows her smiling as she hugs a newly pledged sister, she looks like fragile; the tendons are starkly visible. "Sometimes when I think about it, my bones hurt," she said slowly, clasping her hands carefully. "It hurt to be so thin. I didn't take a bath because my tailbone hurt." AT SCHOOL, Kim said, she thought everyone was being especially careful with "I'd walk into rooms and just know people had been talking about me," she said. Last year, Kim and some other girls watched a television movie, "The Best Little Girl in the World," which showed a high school girl whose father forced her to eat. She then made herself vomit, something Kim never did. "Everyone sat around saying, 'Oh my God, crazy! How can she do that?' Kim said. sad. Atchley, who follows current findings of researchers, said no one really knew why people become anorexic. He added that it was a stress-related disorder happening more frequently and to increasingly younger patients. Sydney Schroeder, the psychiatrist in the mental health clinic at Watkins Hospital, said two women had been treated for anorexia at Watkins in the last year. He added that other, less serious eating disorders, such as obesity and bulimia, were also common. "Science is always with us," he said. "It seems we're going through a period where it seems we are going to have more problems." KIM NOW weighs 117 pounds, a normal weight for her height and bone structure. "I have a closest full of size 3's at home," she said. "I can't even believe I was like that. It seems as if it must have been some other person." She said she remembered panicking at the thought of eating, of gaining weight. 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