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University Daily Kansan
Tuesday, May 17, 1960
Around the Campus
New Alumni Assn. Officers Elected
Dale W. Maxwell, head of a Columbus bridge construction firm, and Richard A. Barber, Lawrence attorney, will be president and vice president, respectively, of the KU Alumni Assn., next year.
The new officers will take office after the commencement in June. They were elected by the association's board of directors.
Mr. Maxwell, who graduated in law from KU in 1937, will succeed Arthur H. (Red) Cromb as president. Mr. Cromb will become a member of the board of directors for four years.
Senior Recitals Slated This Week
Three senior students in the School of Fine Arts are presenting student recitals on successive evenings this week.
Marianne Marshall, Topeka senior and cello major, presented her recital last night.
Today a joint recital will be given by Nancy Rundio, Lee Summit, Mo. senior, soprano, and Ronald Highley, Kansas City, Mo., senior, baritone.
Tomorrow, the performer will be Edgar Dittemore, McLouth senior, bass-baritone.
All of the concerts are held in Swarthout Recital Hall beginning at 8 p.m. They are open to the public free of charge.
Geoloqist to Speak
J. Ben Carsey, former chief geologist for Humble Oil, will speak at a department of geology meeting at 4 p.m. today in 426 Lindley on "The Geology and Oil Developments in Alaska."
Western Civilization Review Set Tonight
Western Civilization reviews will be held at 7:15 p.m. today and tomorrow, in Fraser Theater.
The Western Civilization examination will be 1 to 5 p.m. Saturday.
Brooklyn Professor To Discuss Ice Age
William L. Donn, associate professor of geology at Brooklyn College and research associate at Lamont Geological Observatory of Columbia University, will lecture on "A Terrestrial Theory of Ice Ages" at 4 p.m. Friday in Lindley Hall. The address is open to the public.
Official Bulletin
Items for the Official Bulletin must be brought to the public relations office, 222 Strong, before 9:30 a.m. on the day of publication. Do not bring Bulletin to the Office. The only Kansan student should include name, place, date, and time of function.
Lists of officers of all campus organizations must be reported to Dean of Students, 228 Strong Hall, prior to May 26 for inclusion in the student directory and other publications for the 1960-61 school year.
TODAY
Tau Sigma (Modern Dance Fraternity)
Robert Robinson Gym, come prepared to dance
Episcopal Evening Prayer. 9:30 p.m.
Danforth Chapel.
TOMORROW
Newman Club Daily Mass. 6:30 a.m.
St. John's Church.
Episcopal Morning Prayer, 6:45 a.m.
and Holy Commissional break-
down at Cornerby Church, Hugh
Lutheran Gamma Delta Vespers. 5-5-20
p.m. Danforth Chapel, Chapel 81, Kurz,
216 N. 1st St.
Last Lecture Series. 7:30 p.m. Jayhawk Room, Union. Speaker — Prof. Franklyn Nelick of the English Department.
WRA Banquet Planned Tomorrow
A. Gwendolyn Drew, professor of physical education at Washington University, St. Louis, will be guest speaker at the annual Women's Recreation Assn. awards banquet at 5:45 p.m. tomorrow at the Kansas Union.
A highlight of the banquet will be the presentation of the sweepstakes trophy to the organized house compiling the most points in intramurals for the year.
Trophies will be awarded for winners in the different individual and team sports and to the girl in each house contributing the most to intramurals for the year.
Prof. Drew was cited for outstanding service in the field of health and physical education this year at the semi-centennial convocation at Kent State University. She also was recognized by the American Assn. for Health, Physical Education and Recreation, a national youth fitness program.
All it takes to make a successful farmer is faith, hope and parity— General Features Corporation
Going on a Picnic?
Going on a Crushed Ice Ice Cold 6-pacs of all kinds Picnic Supplies
American Service Co.
6th & Vt., VI 3-0350
HAIR AND SHAKESPEARE 331 Essentials of Good Grooming Prof. Tonsorial
Introspective reading of the Bard's works to prove that grooming was a motivating factor. Close observation indicating that Shakespeare's heroines were disillusioned by bad grooming: Lady Macbeth by Macbeth's hair that went witchever way (alcohol tonics, obviously). Ophelia by Hamlet's "melancholy mane" (hair creams, no doubt). Classroom lecture on how to present the perfect image by grooming with 'Vaseline' Hair Tonic. Proof beyond an ibid of a doubt that you can use all the water you want with 'Vaseline' Hair Tonic. 'Vaseline' Hair Tonic replaces oil that water removes. Keeps hair neater longer and attracts the op. cit. sex as Romeo did Juliet.
Materials: one 4 oz. bottle of 'Vaseline' Hair Tonic
Announcements Here
WARBLING IS A BEGINTRED TRADEMARK OF CHEBERROUGH-POND'S INC.
Senior announcements can be picked up at any time from the Kansas Union Bookstore, Rick Barnes, president of the Senior Class of 1960 announced today. Some extras have been ordered.
Keep Your Shirt on
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — (UPI) — W. H. Westbrook, on a road trip through Cape Giradeau, Mo., stopped at a filling station late at night. On the outside wall was a push button and this sign:
Fiction? Nobody's angry anymore. —Phillip Heron
"Ring bell for night service then keep your shirt on till I get my pants on."
Today I conclude my sixth year of writing columns for the makers of Marlboro and Philip Morris cigarettes. It has been my custom during these six years to make no attempt to be funny in this final column. (I have achieved this objective many times during the year also, but never on purpose.) The reasons for the lack of levity in this final column are two: first, you are preparing for final exams and, short of holding you down and tickling you, there is no way in the world to make you laugh at this time; and, second, for many of us this is a leave-taking, and leave-takings, I think, ought not be flippant.
TILL WE MEET AGAIN
If I have brought you a moment or two of cheer during the past year, I am rewarded. If I have persuaded you to try Marlboro or Philip Morris cigarettes, you are rewarded.
The money is not what matters—not as money, that is, but only as a token. I want to be assured that they love me as much as I love Marlboro and Philip Morris. And what, indeed, is not to love? Marlboro is a cigarette which proves beyond cavil that flavor did not go out when filters came in. Philip Morris is a cigarette that is pure mildness from lip-end to tip-end. Both of these estimable smokes come in soft-pack or flip-top box. Neither is ever sold in bulk.
Let me pause here to express my heartfelt gratitude to the makers of Marlboro and Philip Morris. They have given me complete freedom in the writing of these columns. There has not been the slightest hint of censorship. They have never changed so much as one comma in my copy. I wish to take this occasion to state publicly that I am forever grateful to these enlightened tobaccoconists and I hereby serve notice that if they find it in their corporate heart to engage me for another year of columning, I shall require a substantial increase in salary.
The trans perf The beee den of e
The summer lies ahead. For underclassmen summer will be a hiatus, a breather in which to restore yourselves for next year's resumption of busy college life. For seniors there will be no more college. You must not, however, despair and abandon yourself to idleness. There are other things to do in the world besides going to school—basket weaving, for example, or building boats in bottles, or picking up tintilo, or reading "War and Peace." Many graduates fall into the erroneous belief that their lives are over when they leave college. This is not so. It is possible to make some sort of life for yourself with a bit of ingenuity . . . or, if that fails, dye your hair, change your name, and enroll at some other college.
Whatever the future holds for you, be assured that the makers of Marlboro and Philip Morris join me in wishing you the best of everything. We have taken great pleasure—the makers and I—in bringing you this column each week throughout the school year. We hope a little pleasure has accrued to you too.
May good fortune attend your ventures. Stay happy. Stay healthy. Stay loose.
© 1960 Max Shulman
We, the makers of Marlboro and Philip Morris, can only echo kindly old Max's parting words. Stay happy. Stay healthy. Stay loose.