ized ave ap- eg- less aar, ellis am; nt by or the CLASSIFIED ADS LOST LADY'S PLAIN GOLD WATCH LOST AT END OF LAST SEMESTER. Brown leather strap. Reward. Call VI 2-0172 or KU 534 or KU 316. 2-16 NOTICE PAIR OF GLASSES IN VICINITY OF P O T E R LAKE before semester vaca- Brown frames. Phone VI 3-104- 1122 West Campus. Bill Damels, room 224. 2-17 PAIR OF GLASSES. BROWN FRAMES IN RED CASE sometime Saturday, Feb 6, on campus. Badly needed. Reward. Call VI 2-1992. 2-17 CONFIDENTIAL CASH LOANS, made to students and faculty members. Call Earl L. Percival, manager, Beneficial Finance Co. VI 3-8074. 833 Mass. tf WANTED EXPERIENCED SECRETARY WOULD LIKE TYPING in her home. Knowledge of shorthand, able to type French and German. Call VI 3-2096. 2-15 BABY SITTING WANTED IN MY HOME Monday through Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Infants to 5 years of age. Phone VI 1300 any time. 1646 Tennessee. tf BEVERAGES - All kinds of six-paks, ice cold. Crushed ice in water repellent paper bags. Plastic, party supplies. Print, 6th and Vermont. Phone: tt 9-0350. MISCELLANEOUS GRADUATE WOMAN LOOKING FOR GIRL TO SHARE 3 room apartment. Utilities paid. $27.50. Call VI 3-6294. 2-16 TYPING: Former secretary. Will do typ- ing for Rachel A. Shipley. Mt. McKinney, McEldowney; VI 3-8582. BUSINESS SERVICES TYPING. Theses, reports, etc. Done at Call VI 3-9088. Fast, accurate service. RENT A SINGER sewing machine by the 1937-1971 Singer Sewing Center, 927 Mass. Sig- nature. KU BARBER SHOP-4111 $ \frac{1}{2} $ W. 14th St. Flat tops a speciality. Plenty of free parking. Clarence, Wayne and Shorty. tf EXPERIENCED TYPIST. Immediate attention to term papers, reports, thesis, etc. Next, accurate service at reasonable cost. With Mrs. Charles Johnson VI 3-2876. ff TYPING. Theses, term papers, 5 years experience. Fast, accurate service. Reasonable rates. Will transcribe from telephone. Mrs. Barlow. V2-1648. 408 tfr 13th. EXPERIENCED TYPIST. electric typewriter, error free, immediate service on term papers, theses, dissertations, etc. general rates. Mrs. Tom Brady, VI 3-4388 DRESS MAKING and alterations for women. Formals, wedding gowns, etc. Ola Smith, $941_{2}$ Mass. Call VI 3-5263. tf WESTERN CIVILIZATION NOTES! 100 pages. Notes are written in an extremely minimal font and in a Mimeographed and bound $4.00. Free delivery. Call VI 2-4340 after 10:00 p.m. tf TYPING. sewing or child care in my home. Call VI 3-4373. (t) BIOLOGY STUDY NOTES: Completely revised, outline of class lectures, word lists and definitions, charts and diagrams. Complete cross index. Price $2.50. free delivery. For your copy call VI 3-7553, 805. Ohio 2-25 EXPERIENCED TYPIST. Former secretary, will type leses, term papers, dissertations. Reasonable rates. Prompt service. Call Mrs. Mehlinger, VI 3-4409; tl CALL MRS. REED. VI 3-7551 for guaranteed alterations and repair work. if NOTHING LIKE IT in Lawrence—our notice. Visit Grant's Pet Supply Center— 1218 Conn. Open weekdays 8 a.m. to 6:30 p.m. Birds and animals, complete tract of all purposes. Complete lines of Exotic fish and Exotic Plants. Stainless steel aquariums, 2 to 60 gal., filters, heaters, lighting, and all accessories. Everything for dogs and cats: beds, toys, leather, grooming, outer sweats, blanks, plastic linens, netting the pet's house. Grant's Pet and Gift Shop Phone VI 3- 2921. Welcome. FINEST FLAT-TOPS, and friendly barbers, and fascinating magazines, at Ernie's Barber Shop, 730 Massachusetts. EXPERIENCED TYPIST will give careful attention to theses, term papers, etc. Neat accurate work at regular calls. Call Mrs. Betty Vequist, VI 3-2001 1953 Barker. fc Page 7 LEARN TO DANCE NOW--All the latest classes in Studio 5, Studio 6, Missouri phone VI-3 68388. tt ff FOR SALE PATRONIZE YOUR ADVERTISERS UNDERWOOD TYPEWRITER. Good condition. $55. Call KU 588 between 2-4 p.m. or FA 1-3235 after 6 p.m. in Kansas City, Kansas. 2-16 POST VERSALOG SLIDE RULE with leather carrying case. Excellent condition. $15.00. Call David Hutchinson, VI 2-0325. 2-18 University Daily Kansan FOR SALE: CHEVROLET 1957 BEL AIR HARDTOP V-8, silver white. Turbocharger. heater, factory air—conditioning $1450 Bill Morrison, 1701 Ohio, phone VI 2-0569 PRINTED BIOLOGY STUDY NOTES. 60 pages with complete outline of lecture materials, comprehensive charts and drawings. CALL WIRELY after 5 p.m. free delivery. $4.50. 2-17 FOR SALE 1957 Volkswagen, blue with radio. Excellent condition. $1200. George Rogers. Bldg. 2. Apartment 3. Stouffer Place. 2-16 BABY'S DELUXE CHRIB, adjustable, springs, 205 coil mattress. Bathenette, timing chair. Play Pen. All as good. Less than half price. Phone VI 3- 3559. TRANSPORTATION — Two or more members wanted for car pool from Kansas City, Kansas to Lawrence. Call MA 1-1377 in Kansas City. tf TRANSPORTATION: CAR POOL FROM Kansas City to Lawrence daily, leaving Lawrence for Kansas City at 3:00 p.m. Phone JE 1-6065. 2-15 WANTED TO JOIN OR FORM CAR POOL. Kansas City to Lawrence and return daily. For information call FL 6-4434 in Kansas City after 6:00 p.m. 2-15 TRANSPORTATION FOR RENT FURNISHED THREE ROOM APART- MENT. Private bath and hall entrance. at 1316 Kw., Apt. 2 or call VI 2-1540 fore 8:30 a.m. or after 8:30 p.m. 2-18 TWO ROOMS FOR GRADUATE WOMEN. One half block from Union. Cooking and washing privileges. Parking place for car. 1230 Oread. ONE ROOM FOR MAN graduate student. 1231 Louisiana. Call VI 3-2399. T. B. Ford. 2-18 APARTMENT FOR 4 boys. 5 rms. furnished. Good refrigerator, desks and double beds. Private bath, hot water and bills paid. $25 each. 637 Ind. VI-3-2824. ONE LARGE NICELY FURNISHED ROOM, cedar lined clothes closets and linens furnished. No phone calls, call in person after 6:30 p.m. Mississippi. 2-15 SINGLE FURNSHED ROOMS FOR MALE students. Private phone, carpeted floor. 1323 Ohio. Phone VI 3-6709. 2-15 SINGLE ROOMS for graduate women. Call Helen Gooden VI 3-67235. CALL HELEN GOODEN APARTMENT. $70 per month. THREE ROOM PRIVATE APARTMENT. $40 per month. Other apartments. See Hemphill. Phone VI 3-3902 or VI 3-879-16 SINGLE ROOM FOR BOY. Also double room to share with one other boy. Call VI 3-5942. 2-16 THEHE ROOM EFFICIENCY ARPART- two adults. Call VI 3-4069. for one 2-16 Vacancies for male students in contemporary home with swimming pool.洗衣店工作 One load of laundry weekly. other priviligies价格. $75 monthly. VI 3-9635. 2-15 PAT READ Ph.VI 3-1306 445 Tenn. St. INDIAN TRADER Gifts That Are Different - Indian Jewelry - Navajo Rugs - Hand Loomed Ties The Midwest's Largest Dealer In Indian Handicraft Open Open Evenings By Appointment 9:00 A.M. UNTIL 5:00 P.M. Monday, Feb. 15, 1960 A BRIDGE TOURNAMENT? WHAT? Yes, S.U.A. is sponsoring a bridge tournament WEDNESDAY, FEB. 17 at 7:00 p.m. in the KANSAS UNION PARLORS HOUSE FOR RENT NEAR K U. Possible to reduce your rent by renting a pine paneled basement apartment. Call VI 3-0554 before 1 p.m. 2-15 STUDY AND SLEEPING ROOMS for boys, one single and one double, close to campus. Phone VI 3-4890. 2-15 ROOAMS FOR RENT ONE-HALF BLOCK FROM UNION. Very reasonable. Cooking privileges, limits provided, T.V. See to appreciate at 1222 Miss. 8-15 TWO BEDROOM HOUSE, $00 per month. NEW DUPLXE, partially furnished, $80 per month. THREE ROOM FURNISHED APARTMENT FOR RENT. TWO SINGLE BACKDOCK APARTMENTS. Completely furnished, newly decorated. Private bath and private entrance. 646 West 23. Phone VI 3-6255. 2-15 ROOM FOR RENT. Share double with Graduate Student. Private bath, one block from Student Union at 1301 Louisiana. Phone VI 3-4092. **tt** THREE WHO PASSED IN THE NIGHT Well sir, to find the answer, I recently completed a tour of American campuses where I interviewed 40 million students and sold several subscriptions to The Open Road for Boys, and it pleases me to report that I can now account for those three elusive undergraduates. Last year, as everyone knows, 1,210,614 undergraduates dropped out of college. 256,080 flunked; 309,656 got married; 375,621 ran out of money; and 309,254 found jobs. As you have, of course, observed, this accounts for only 1,210,611 out of 1,210,614. What happened to the other three? The first was an LSU junior named Fred Gaugin. He was extremely popular, always ready with a smile, fond of folk dancing and pralines, and last semester his Chi Psi brothers unanimously elected him treasurer of the fraternity. This proved an error. Gaugin, alas, promptly absconded with the money and went to Tabiti to paint. The fraternity is bending every effort to extradite Gaugin, but Tabiti, alas, is currently observing the feast of Dipthong, the Sun-God, a five-year ceremony during which all the islanders wear masks, so nobody, alas, can say for certain which one is Gaugin. Nobody can say for certain which one is Gaudi. The second missing undergraduate is William Cullen Sigafoos, Oregon State freshman, who went one day last fall to a disreputable vendor named A. M. Sashweight to buy a pack of Marlboros. Mr. Sashweight did not have any Marlboros because Marlboros are only sold by reputable vendors. However, he told Sigafoos that he had another brand which was just as good, and Sigafoos, being but an innocent freshman, believed him. Well sir, you and I know there is no other brand as good as Marlboros. That fine filter, that flavorful flavor, that pleasure, that joy, that fulfillment—are Marlboro's and Marlboro's alone. All of this was quickly apparent to young Sigafores and he flew into a terrible rage. "As good as Marlboros indeed!" he shrieked, kicking his roommate furiously. "I am going right back to that mendacious Mr. Sashweight and give him a thrashing he won't soon forget!" With that he seized his lacrosse bat and rushed out. Mr. Sashweight heard him coming and started running. Now Mr. Sashweight, before he became a disreputable vendor, had taken numerous prizes as a cross-country runner, and he thought he would soon outdistance young Sigafoos. But he reckoned without Sigafoos's stick-to-itiveness. At last report the two of them bad passed Cleveland. When they reach the Atlantic Seaboard, bad Mr. Sashweight will get his lumps from Sigafoos, you may be sure, and I, for one, am glad. The third missing undergraduate, also named Sigafoos, is a Bennington sophomore named Celeste Sigafoos and, ironically, she never intended to leave college at all. She was merely going home for Christmas on the Natehez, Mobile, and Boise Railroad, and during the night, alas, her upper berth slammed shut on her. Being a Bennington girl, she naturally did not wish to make an unseemly outcry, so she just kept silent. The next morning, alas, the railroad went bankrupt, and Miss Sigafoos today is lying forgotten on a siding near Valparaiso, Indiana. Fortunately she has plenty of Marlboros with her. \* \* \* © 1960 Max Sbulman And how about the rest of you? Do you have plenty of Marlboros? Or if you like mildness but you don't like filters, plenty of Philip Morrises? Hmm? Do you?