Page
mu- european to the
way of d work received music in students
ecational ents innts who
subject
master-
ror's re-
subject
ne won't go
end of
ring of
ark extra
as faster
so am-
european campus his love h of the
a hu usso will aphysical
ate
testified,
d he read
er docu-
s' charges
infiltrated
icing his
as as a
letter."
RATIOM
Christmas Gift Has Unusual Use
Two women presented their housemother with a six-inch flashlight on the night their house held its Christmas Formal Dance. The gift was neatly wrapped with ribbon and holly and was accompanied by a card with this poem to suggest its use:
"I was the night of the formal, and all through the house.
Not a light was glimmering; each one has been doused!
Each hallway, each doorway,
each stairway was filled.
With couples in clinches—each being thrilled.
Heard in her apartment was a sadistic giggle.
And out came the housemother with a cute little wiggle.
Now Judy, now Linda, now Janie and Jo.
So armed with her flashlight, to each corner she went.
The dean has the word out—All sex must go!"
Her mission to accomplish—sex to prevent.
Like a firefly from corner to corner she flitted.
And each of the boys she gleefully outwitted.
The flashlight accomplished its purpose so fateless.
Now the housemother's girls are completely dateless.
It must be reported that, to the delight of all involved, the flashlight remained throughout the evening on the housemother's coffee table in her apartment. But she promises she'll use it often.
"It's just what I need at night to find the keyhole in my car," she said laughingly.
CEDAR RAPIDS, IOWA—(UPI) State highway patrolmen moved into Cedar Rapids today to help local police prevent further picket violence in one of the nation's most bitter meatpacking strikes.
Iowa Gov. Herschel H. Loveless ordered about 25 state patrolmen into the city when hundreds of booting strikers lashed out at non-union workers at a Wilson & Co. plant yesterday.
The violence, in which seven strikers and two non-union men were arrested, also brought a contempt of court citation against officers and members of a local union of the United Packinghouse Workers of America (UPWA).
Troopers Called In Wilson Riot
Radio Programs
KANU
In Chicago, meanwhile, Wilson president James D. Cooney agreed to mediation sessions with UPWA leaders for the first time since Oct. 29. In the nationwide strike that has cut production at eight plants.
Douglas Brown of the Federal Mediation service in Chicago said he would preside over mediation talks starting at 10:30 a.m. CST Thursday.
4:30 Christmas in Spain
5:00 Twilight Concert: Christmas Carols
7:00 "Sing Noel"
7:30 Choral Concert: Featuring carols by the Randolph Singers
7:55 News
8:00 University of the Air: Some Thoughts on Creativity
8:55 News: Between the Lines
9:00 Christmas Music from Handel's "Messiah" conducted by Leonard Bernstein
10:00 News
10:05 A Little Night Music: "Christmas Cantata No. 63" by Bach
11:05 Sign Off
KUOK (630 Kilocycles)
4:00 Music in the Afternoon
6:00 KUOK News
6:05 Jayhawk Jump Time
7:00 KUOK News
7:30 Spotlight on Sports
7:40 Musical Pathways
8:00 KUOK News
8:05 Album Time
8:45 Melody Time
9:00 KUOK News
9:05 Comment on the News
9:05 Music From Beyond Heavens
10:00 Comment on the News
10:05 The Bill Schmidt Show
10:30 Cadence Caper
11:00 The Bill Schmidt Show
11:55 KUOK News
Official Bulletin
TODAY
Episcopal Evening Prayer. 9:30 p.m.
Danforth Chapel.
Humanities Forum, 7:30 p.m. Oread
Room of the Union, Saddest
Street, Fort Worth, TX 76129 Good Sufficiency
TOMORROW
Lutheran Gamma Delta Vespers, 5:00-
5:20 p.m., Danforth Chapel. Vicar R. E
ring.
Inter Varsity Christian Fellowship,
Speaker and Prayer.
Danforth Chapel.
Episcopal Morning Prayer, 6:45 a.m.
Holiday commotion, breakfast
Hospitality, Burghley
Latin-American Dance Lessons, 7:30-8:30 p.m. Pine Room of the Union, SUA
The final SUA dance lesson program
would be 5 p.m. in the Kansas
Borm, of the Form.
Newman Club Daily Mass. 6:30 a.m. St John's, Church.
MOSSER-WOLF INC.
SUA Modern Book Forum presents Eugene O'Neill's A Long Day's Journey In Music. Prof. Neale Carman, Prof. William Paden, Prof. Peter Caws, and Mrs. Ambrose Saricks. 4 p.m. Student Union Music and Browsing Room. Refresh
Member Best Western Motels
On U.S. Highways 40-59 & K-10 just off of west Lawrence Turnpike interchange on way to business district
THURSDAY
Sponsored. Refreshments served.
1703 WEST 6TH
MR. & MRS. GENE SWEENEY VI 3-0131
German Christmas Party and Nativity Play (Christmas Party und ein altes deutsches Krippenspiel), 8 p.m., Fraser Theater.
1107 Mass.
Across from the Court House
Sigma Xi. 7:30 p.m. Bailey Auditorium.
Dr. Charles D. Micheler will speak on "Origin of Social Behavior." Business meeting and election of new members.
Air-Conditioned, Phones, TV Free Coffee, Free Swimming
GLASS
AUTO GLASS
TABLE TOPS
Sudden Service
AUTO GLASS
East End of 9th St. Set
VI 3-4416
Tuesday. Dec..15. 1950 University Daily Kansan
In time for casual holidays — the three-piece cord suit by H.I.S. A must for the college man, only $39.05
$29.95
lawrence's smartest store 843 Mass.
Youth 'Flies' Bomber Into Ditch
ORLANDO, Fla. — (UPI)— A 17-year-old youth who said he had never before been in an airplane nearly made off with a four-engine World War II bomber last night, but cracked it up in a ditch. He was not hurt.
fully for two days to start th plane's engines.
The owner of the obsolete B-17 said he had been trying unsuccess-
But police said the would-be plains thief, Gilbert Evans Davis of Apokkaa, Fla., apparently had little trouble.
Inside the plane, he said he found a manual of instructions, studied if then started all four engines.
On Campus with Max Shulman
(Author of "I Was a Tween-age Dwarf" "The Many Loves of Bowie Gillis", etc.)
DECK THE HALLS
When you think of Christmas gifts you naturally think of Marlboro cigarettes, leading seller in flip-top box in all fifty states—and if we annex Wales, in all fifty-one—and if we annex Lapland, in all fifty-two. (This talk about annexing Wales and Lapland is, incidentally, not just idle speculation. Great Britain wants to trade Wales to the United States for a desert. Great Britain needs a desert desperately on account of the tourist trade. Tourists are always coming up to the Prime Minister or the Lord Privy Seal, or the Thane of Glamis, or like that and saying, "I'm not knocking your country, mind you. It's very quaint and picturesque, etc., what with Buckingham Palace and Bovril and Scotland Yard, etc., but where's your desert?"
Before I forget, let me point out that Scotland Yard, Britain's plain-clothes police branch, was named after Wally Scotland and Fred Yard who invented plain clothes. The American plain-clothes force is called the F.B.I. after Frank B. Inchecliff, who invented fingerprints. Before Mr. Inchecliff's invention, everybody's fingers were absolutely glassy smooth. This, as you may imagine, played hob with the identification of newborn babies in hospitals. From 1791 until 1904 no American parent ever brought home the right baby from the hospital. This later became known as the Black Tom Explosion.
(But I digress. England, I was saying, wants to trade Wales for a desert. Sweden wants to trade Lapland for Frank B. Incheliff. The reason is that Swedes to this day still don't have fingerprints. As a result, identification of babies in Swedish hospitals is so haphazard that Swedes flatly refuse to bring their babies home. There are, at present, nearly a half-billion unclaimed babies in Swedish hospitals—some of them well over eighty years old.)
But I digress. Marlboro is, of course, an ideal Christmas gift for your friends and loved ones who enjoy filter cigarettes. If, on the other hand, your friends and loved ones like mildness but don't like filters, then you can't go wrong with a carton of Philip Morris. If your friends and loved ones like a subtly mentholated cigarette that combines refreshing taste with high filtration, then buy a carton of Alpines. (Alpines, incidentally, are named after the late Albert G. Pine. Al Pine worked all his life to invent a cigarette that would combine light menthol and high filtration, but alas he never succeeded. As by-products of his research he did manage to invent the atom, the gooseneck lamp and the cocker spaniel, but the lightly mentholated high filtration cigarette, alas, never. Now this dream is realized, and what could be more fitting than to pay tribute to this gallant man by calling this cigarette Alpine?) © 1959 Max Shulman
We, the makers of Marlboro, Philip Morris and Alpine are now enjoying our sixth year with Max Shulman. Obviously, we think he is a funny fellow. We think you'll think so too, if you look at his television series "THE MANY LOVES OF DORIE GILLIS" and read his latest book, "I WAS A TEEN-AGE DWARF."