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Summer Session Kansan Thursday, July 30, 1959
Summer Mistake
(Edifor's note: The following article was found on a crumpled piece of paper in the corner of the newsroom. KU readers might appreciate the careless abandon with which the anonymous author practiced his typing.)
At the close of a session, the traditional "goodbye" editorial appears in the Kansan. No college newspaper would be worth its proverbial salt without such an editorial. Not wishing to create a last-minute furor on campus, nor bring the wrath of the readership upon my head, I will present the expected editorial.
How now, brown cow, asdfghikl: 234567890
How now, brown cow, assignedjk12 234567890
First, let me speak to those who declare that the summer has been a complete loss. All is not lost. After all, your car has a protective coat of aphid juice from the elm trees.
Now is the time for all goo men to come to the aid of this writer, qwertyuip⁴/4.
News ran rampant on the campus with the Kansan printing 574 inches of book reviews. Literacy will not die. In the same scholarly vein, 15.7 per cent (a record low) of you who took the English proficiency examination this summer failed.
College wardrobe costs are lower in the summer. Merchants report that the demands for sweaters and parkas during the summer decrease significantly, boy is summer ever dull... 11...11 and hot toooo
For the young at heart: (1) playground equipment in Fowler Grove east of Robinson Gymnasium, (2) bubble baths in the Chi Omega fountain, (3) Campanile Drive, and (4) zebu fillers. Bread, milk, tomatooooes, toothpaste, pick up clothes at laundry.
The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy zebu. rrrrrr i think it8s time to get the typewriter cleaned, the in on and of in off.
Regular session students miss the cozy warmth of research rooms in Watson Library. The thermometers in the Kansas, education, card catalogue, and reference rooms and the stacks read 86 degrees plus, on a recent afternoon.
On the other extreme, the temperature in the Kansas Union was 61 degrees, and persons taking the Western Civilization examination in Bailey Auditorium Saturday caught head colds.
(The linotype operator assumes no responsibility for this journalistic masterpiece.)
Hear Ye, Hear Ye
Calmly we sit down in class.
And prepare to take notes so we can pass. The instructor is ready, and so are we To absorb knowledge in exchange for a fee
When what to our wondering ears does appear?
The racket of saws, the clatter of boards Are all a part of the NOISE in hoardes. Chattering voices, a rumbling truck Education in any form is out of luck.
The sound of jackhammers is what we hear.
Tis summertime, and as the general rule, "Buildings and Grounds" are repairing the school.
Daily Crossword Puzzle
-J.J.
ACROSS
1 Trades.
6 Source of bubbles.
9 Call to a bellhop.
14 Lone Ranger's companion.
15 Wartime agency.
16 Ancient Egyptian city.
17 Musical instrument
18 __ Aviv.
19 Good terms.
20 Poem.
21 Gay social gathering: Slang.
24 __ Moines.
25 Well-known war correspondent.
27 Mountain range.
28 Nuisance.
29 Civil War group.
31 Overlay a role.
33 Change for the better.
36 Fine in texture.
38 Demonstration of public approval.
42 Freight train: Slang.
43 Pacific islands.
45 Sleuth.
46 Shore bird.
47 Wayside hotel.
48 Sudden wave of prosperity.
51 Type of modern
band: Slang.
53 Balkan.
57 Ripple sound.
58 Fearless.
60 Volume: Abbr.
61 Mowgli's wolf friend.
63 Spire final.
64 Greek letter.
66 Symbol of agriculture.
67 Fragment.
62 f-faced god.
67 Playing card.
69 Heavenly being.
70 School organization.
75 Descendants.
76 Arrived: 2 words.
77 Placed in a vertical position.
78 Sea sickness.
79 Banner.
10 Demon fought by Carrie Nation.
11 Gaseous compound.
12 Commercial papers.
13 Rendezvous.
22 Benjamin Frank-
In invented one,
23 Lighthouse keepers' problem.
25 Self-conceit.
28 Jellying properties of certain fruits.
30 Follower of a Greek theologian.
32 Powerful person.
33 Gypsy.
34 Stowe heroine.
35 Distant.
37 One's entire assets.
38 Piece of connective pipe.
39 Commit a faux pas.
41 The Little Corporal.
44 Bush leaguer.
48 Inky.
49 "The Old __ Bucket."
50 Cesare Siepi's forte.
52 Taunts.
54 Straightens.
55 Prankster.
56 Trumpet sound.
58 Flower holder.
59 Japanese general and premier.
62 Book of the Bible: Abbr.
65 Player on a team.
Swans Are River Hazard
WASHINGTON — British shipping, which has had to contend with everything from the Spanish Armada to Nazi submarines, faces a new and unlikely threat-swans.
Britain's swan population has grown rapidly in recent years. The graceful birds are impeding river traffic so seriously that the Corporation of Stratford-on-Avon, in Shakespeare's birthplace, has decided to deport about half the local swans to quieter streams.
Swans at Stratford swarm about the banks to get handouts of bread and cake from visitors. Pilots of motor launches that take tourists on river cruises must battle the swans for berths. Swans further disturb the peace at Stratford by staging mass take-offs that churn up long stretches of water and threaten to overturn punts and canoes.
The Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals will investigate applicants for surplus swans to determine whether they can offer the birds all the comforts of Stratford.
Despite such behavior, swans are much loved in England, and great pains are taken to assure their welfare.
The great secret, Eliza, is not having bad manners or good manners or any other particular sort of manners, but having the same manner for all human souls: in short, behaving as if you were in Heaven, where there are no third-class carriages, and one soul is as good as another. — "Pygmalion," G. B. Shaw
A nap, my friend, is a brief period of sleep which overtakes super-annuated persons when they endeavor to entertain unwelcome visitors or to listen to scientific lectures. —G. B. Shaw
Daily Hansan
(Published Tuesdays and Fridays)
NEWS DEPARTMENT
NEWS DEPARTMENT
News Room Phone 711
Editor Janet Juneau
Associate Editor Ray Miller
BUSINESS DEPARTMENT
BUSINESS DEPARTMENT
Business Manager 378
Business Manager Bill Kane
By Calder M. Pickett Associate Professor of Journalism
THE GOD THAT FAILED, edited by Richard Grossman. Bantam, 50 cents.
Here is a brilliant anti-Communist tract that appeared first in 1950, the year in which the late Senator McCarthy was getting his start. But it is no McCarthy-type tract. Rather, it should accompany those works which suggest that some kind of moratorium should be declared for those persons who became enchanted with Communism in an earlier period, and later left the party.
Six great writers—two of them American, one French, one Italian, one British, and one German—tell how they became Communists, or how they flirted with communism, or why they left the party. But not one suggests that association with communism, per se, is bad. Three of them were drawn into active party participation; three, more or less, worshipped from afar. Here are brief quotes summarizing their position, or their reasons for becoming interested in communism, or why they left the cause, which to all was essentially a religion—hence the title:
Arthur Koestler—"I served the Communist Party for seven years—the same length of time as Jacob tended Laban's sheep to win Rachel, his daughter. When the time was up, the bride was led into his dark tent; only the next morning did he discover that his ardors had been spent not on the lovely Rachel but on the ugly Leah. I wonder whether he ever recovered from the shock of having slept with an illusion..."
Ignazio Silone—“...my faith in Socialism...has remained more alive than ever in me. In its essence, it has gone back to what it was when I first revolted against the old social order; a refusal to admit the existence of destiny, an extension of the ethical impulse from the restricted individual and family sphere to the whole domain of human activity, a need for effective brotherhood, an affirmation of the superiority of the human person over all the economic and social mechanisms which oppress him.”
Richard Wright—"I found myself arguing alone against the majority opinion, and then I made still another amazing discovery. I saw that even those who agreed with me would not support me. At that meeting I learned that when a man was informed of the wish of the Party he submitted, even though he knew with all the strength of his brain that the wish was not a wise one, was one that would ultimately harm the Party's interests."
Andre Gide—"One painter whom I met in Russia told me that subtlety and originality were no longer what the country wanted, not what was now needed. He said that an opera was no use to the workers if, on leaving the theater, there were no tunes that they could whistle. What was now needed, he insisted, were works which could be immediately apprehended and understood...He admitted that even Beethoven would have found it impossible, in the Soviet Union, to make a come-back after initial failure."
Louis Fischer—"I believed that a temporary suspension of freedom would enable the Soviet regime to make rapid economic strides and then restore the freedom. It has not happened. The Soviet dictatorship has been barren of groceries because it has been barren of liberties. There can be no material security of economic democracy without political democracy."
Stephen Spender—"I have listened to a Communist poet explaining to a Hampstead Literary Society on the occasion of a Keats anniversary that, although Keats was no Marxist, we could at least claim that in being the son of an ostler, and ill with consumption which the State did not attend to, he had the merit of being a victim of capitalism."
MUSIC AND IMAGINATION, by Aaron Copland. Mentor, 50 cents.
Here are the Charles Eliot Norton lectures given at Harvard in 1951-52 by Aaron Copland, considered by many to be America's greatest living composer. They eloquently set forth the problems and concepts of the musician—particularly the composer—in 20th century industrial America.
"One of the primary problems for the composer in an industrial society like that of America is to achieve integration," he writes, "to find justification for the life of art in the life about him. I must believe in the ultimate good of the world and of life as I live it in order to create a work of art. Negative emotions cannot produce art; positive emotions bespeak an emotion about something."
Copland, whose compositions include the ballet music for "Rodeo" and "Billy the Kid" and "Appalachian Spring," writes about the listener, about concerts which emphasize only the 19th century romantic classicists. He speaks fluently of sound, of oriental music, of the work of such persons as Varese, Ives, Thompson and Schoenberg in the field of sound.
Berlioz he gives credit for the "mixing of colors" to create the modern orchestra. Schoenberg is the pioneer in the 12-tone scale, which still has not achieved full acceptance in our society.
Especially amusing are Copland's comments on criticism. "The late Paul Rosenfeld," he says, "once wrote that he saw the steel frames of skyscrapers in my Piano Variations. I like to think that the characterization was apt, but I must confess that the notion of skyscrapers was not at all in my mind..."
Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry."—Sir Winston Churchill
The Constitution does not provide for first and second class citizens.—Wendell L. Willkie