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University Daily Kansan
Tuesday, Feb. 17, 1959
NEW CAR FOR POLICE—Willard Anderson, campus policeman, adjusts a spotlight on the department's new prowl car.
New Campus Squad Car Has Mile-Range Siren
The new, all black, four-door patrol car recently put into service by the campus police has a new type siren that can be heard for a mile.
Chief Joe Skillman stated that it is a new beam type siren that should not disturb people to either side of the car.
What is amazing is that if one does complain about its noise, it will talk back.
The siren has a built-in loudspeaker that can double as a public address system or triple as an auxiliary radio speaker.
While this type of siren is being tested by the Kansas City Police Department, it is believed to be
the first of its kind put into service in this area.
The rest of the car, a Chevrolet, is standard, having a six-cylinder engine and an automatic transmission, with one exception. The rear end has been locked to enable the car to pull away from the curb during icy weather when one wheel cannot gain traction.
The car was on campus for two weeks before being put into service. During this period the buildings and grounds department installed the radio, siren, spot lights, and other equipment, and then checked the car out.
Chief Skillman's department received the car Saturday.
Items for the Official Bulletin must be brought to the public relations office, 122-A Strong, before 9 a.m. on the day of publication. Do not bring Bulletin to school. Please ask Kaman. Notices should include name, place, date, and time of function.
Official Bulletin
I. I.E. foreign students: Mr. Robert Blair, of the Denver IIE office, will be on the campus this afternoon and Wednesday.
TODAY
Society for Advancement of Management, 7:30 p.m., Union. Speaker: F. H. Rhee (Cisco), J. Michael (Gas Co.), Tulsa, Oklahoma. "Development of the Sinclair Oil & Gas Co."
Tryouts for Children's Theatre production of "Elves and the Shoemaker" P.D., for University Theatre production of "Winter's Tale," in 404 MD, 7 to 10 p.m.
Experimental Theatre, 8:00 p.m. Pirandello's "Naked."
Humanities Lecture, Dr. Walter Blair,
English Dept. of Chicago University,
Ambach Theography of a
Book," Fraser Theater; Reception at the
Faculty Club.
TOMORROW
*Tryouts for Children's Theatre productions*
*The topper maker will be in 402 MD, 7 to 10 p.m.*
KU Young Democrats will hold elections in m. in Rooms 206A and B of the Union.
Quill Club, 7:30 p.m. Room 305B of
Hawkeye Jayhawk pictures will be
taken
IFC Rush Smoker, 8:00 p.m., Ballroom,
Kansas Union.
Teachers Appointment Bureau 117
Bairy Hall; Robert C. Morton, Torrence.
Calif.
Business Placement Bureau Interview.
214 Strong Hall, Mr. Harry L. Snell,
military executive positions;
ministrative positions; Long Lines, Executive and Administrative Positions.
Newman Club Mass, 6:30 a.m., St. John's Church, 11th and Kentucky.
Episcopal Morning Prayer 6:45 a.m.
The Episcopal Community Center at breakfast communion. Canterbury House.
Faculty Forum. "Foreign Language Education." Prof. Agnes Brady and Assoc. Prof. W. Stitt Robinson. 12:00 noon, English Room of the Union.
El Ateneo comienza sus actividades del segundo mestere el proximo mieten en la sala 11 Fraser. La Sra T. Donna Fink y la Sra. Marcia Green hablaren y proyectoan vistas en colores del naje que ha melijo y Guatemala el nevano basado.
Jay James, Oread Room of the Union.
5:00 p. attendance required.
Lutheran Gamma Delta, 5-5:30 p.m.
Denton Led by Pastor Britain,
Denton services.
7. **Kaufy Faculty Club.** Duplicate Bridge.
8. **Guillem Jr.** Mr. and Mrs. J. Neal
    Carrion VI. 314-290-8000
Experimental Theatre, Pirandello's "Naked," 8:00 p.m.
The average American consumed 1.8 gallons of liquor in 1957.
FINAL WEEK-FINAL REDUCTIONS
At The University Shop's
ANNUAL WINTER SALE
Miss Jersild to Play Piano Sonatas
Marian Jersidl, associate professor of piano, will play Haydn and Beethoven sonatas, Fantasy in F minor by Chopin, and three preludes by Roy Hamlin Johnson, assistant professor of piano, at 8 p.m. Wednesday
The oil used in a jet engine costs nine dollars per gallon.
in Swarthout Hall. Miss Jersild will appear on the Faculty Recital Series.
The puma, or American lion, will attack grizzly bears and jaguars, but not man.
The Coachella Valley in southern California ranges from 22 to 200 feet below sea level.
THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SMOOCH
I don't understand why young men today have abandoned this gambit. There is nothing like poetry for moving a difficult girl. What's more, poems are ridiculously easy to write. The range of subjects is endless. You can write a poem about a girl's hair, her eyes, her lips, her walk, her talk, her clothes—anything at all. Indeed, one of my most effective love lyrics was called To Maud's Pencil Box. It went like this:
Back in my courting days (the raccoon coat was all the rage, everybody was singing Good Morning, Mister Zip Zip Zip, and young Bonaparte had just left Corsica), back, I say, in my courting days, the standard way to melt a girl's heart was to write poetry to her.
In your dear little leatherette pencil box
Are pencils of yellow and red,
And if you don't tell me you love me soon,
I'll hit you on top of the head.
Honesty compels me to admit that this poem fell short of success. Nothing daunted, I wrote another one. This time I pulled a switch; I threatened myself instead of Maud.
Oh, Maud, pray stop this drivel
And tell me you'll be mine,
For my sweetbreads they do shrivel
And wind around my spine.
My heart doth cease its beating,
My spleen uncoils and warps,
My liver stops secreting
Soon I needs be a corpse.
When this heart-rending ballad failed to win Maud, I could only conclude that she was cruel and heartless and I was better off without her. Accordingly I took back my Hi-Y pin, bade her adieu, and have not clapped eyes on her since. Last I heard, she was working in Galveston as a Plimsoll line.
But I did not mourn Maud long, for after Maud came Doris — Doris of the laughing eyes, Doris of the shimmering hair, Doris of the golden tibiae! Within moments of meeting her, I whipped up a torrent of trochaic tetrameter:
Oh, my sweet and dulce Doris!
I love you like a Philip Morris
With its mild and rich tobacco
In its white and scarlet pack-o.
I'd swim from Louisville to Natchez
For Philip Morris and you and matches.
Well, of course, the dear girl couldn't resist a poem like that—what girl could?—and she instantly became my slave. For the rest of the semester she carried my books, washed my car, and cored my apples. There is no telling where it all would have ended if she hadn't been drafted.
So, men, you can see the power of poetry. Try it yourself. All you need is a rhyming dictionary, a quill pen, and a second-hand muse. © 1950, Max Shulman
Let's drop rhyme and turn to reason. The reason Marlboro has gone to the head of the filter cigarette class is simple: better "makin's"—a flavor that pleases, a filter that works. Marlboro—from the makers of Philip Morris.