Page 2
University Daily Kansan
Tuesday, Nov. 11, 1958
The Answer Man
It is evening on Mount Oread, and a little old man in a one-piece toga is trudging along Jayhawk Boulevard. He sees a student approaching, and hurries to intercept him. He questions the student as they walk.
The man: You are a student in this great school?
Student: Well, the house had me tutor three football players this year, and I'm in ASC, IFC, the Forensic League, and TNE.
Man: Then you are the very man I am looking for. Tell me, how is the University governed?
Student: Well, the administration sets out policies, and the student government runs things.
Man: Indeed! And what do you call this form of government?
Student: Well, we have representatives, see, and they're elected by the students, and they decide what we can do.
Man: You have a democracy, then. The representatives decide what classes you may take, what you may do with yourselves outside the school, and that sort of thing?
Student: Oh, no. The faculty picks the classes.
And the deans set closing hours.
Man: Then the representatives decide where you may live, and how you shall conduct your-selves?
Student: What are you, a wise guy? We can do anything we want as long as we keep hours.
Student: Why, for one thing, they decide how to spend the ASC budget. That's a lot of money.
Man: Where does the money come from.
Student: From the students, of course.
Student: No, no, no. The University takes the money from student fees and gives it to the ASC, and the ASC decides how to spend it.
Man: Then the students donate to the common good? An excellent idea!
Man: Do the students approve of paying this money?
Student: Are you squirrely? You gotta have money to run the campus.
Man: Of course. And what is the money used for?
Student: Well, it goes to the pep clubs, the Student Bar Association, yearbook pictures, the Associated Women Students, elections, and so on.
Man: Charity is the noblest virtue. You support these people who cannot help themselves.
Student: Now wait a minute. We don't have a campus full of paupers. What they're doing is good for everyone, so everyone pays.
Man: The money for the women, then, benefits everyone. And the money for the student lawyers is used to every student's advantage.
Student: It's good public relations for the school. What are you, a Red or something?
Man: Then the school has no money?
Student: The school has money, don't worry about that. We got a smooth-running campus, and if you rabble-rouers didn't come around, we'd get along fine. Look buddy, the cops would be mighty interested in a guy like you, asking fool questions and stirring up people.
Man: I will leave you, then. But do you know of someone who can answer my questions?
Student: Look, Jack, let go my arm. I only got five minutes to get a cupa coffee before my next class. I don't have time to answer a lot of stupid questions. —A.J.
And That Was the End of All War
Armistice Day, 1918. Flags flying, whistles screaming, crowds in the streets celebrating the end of war.
For we were naive enough in those days to believe that the Great War really was "the war to end all wars."
And now, 40 disillusioned years later, we stand dangerously near a holocaust that would dwarf any war in history.
Our material progress and our advances in science have made 1918 a remote time, an era that is nearly impossible to recall. We had not yet spanned the Atlantic by air, while today we stand on the edge of space. The world of today is smaller than the United States of 1918.
And yet, with all our advances, our outpu rings of material and educated men, we have not progressed one inch toward solving the problem
that can destroy the world. We have never learned to live in this world we have created.
Since that far-off time of the Armistice, millions of men have died, and continue to die, as sacrifices to man's stupidity. For the moment, we have an unceasy peace. Only a few men are being killed from day to day in the name of patriotism.
But man has still refused to learn one basic fact. For survival, he must abandon war. For survival, he must learn to live with the world he has made.
In 1918, war could destroy a nation. In 1945, war could smash a culture. Today, war can destroy man and all his works. Veterans Day, seen through a 40-year telescope, seems a small meaningless event. But if there is another war, the armistice will be signed by men stripped of civilization, naked and alone in the remains of a world they wilfully destroyed. —A. J.
LITTLE MAN ON CAMPUS By Dick Bibler
TODAY WE BEGIN AKOTHER EXCITING & STIMULATING UNIT IN LATE MEDIEVAL HISTORY."
At the rate things are going, it will take the Republicans about another week to figure out that they didn't really lose at all.
Short Ones
LONDON — (UPI)—Sir Richard McCreey blamed Queen Elizabeth's husband for the $8.40 fine he received for speeding.
Most fascinating news story of the week:
Fulsome doesn't mean full, noisemone doesn't mean noisy, and fraternity doesn't always mean brotherhood.
Dailu Hansan
UNI PRINT
University of Kansas student newspaper
became bweekley in 1902.
trickweekly 1908, 1909, 1912.
Telephone Vlkling 3-2700
Extension 711, news room Extension 376, business office
Member Inland Daily Press Association.
Associated Collegiate Press. Represented by National Advertising Service, 420 Madison Ave. New York, N.Y.
Associated Press International. Mail subscription rates: $3 a semester or $4.50 a year. Published in Lawrence, Kan., every afternoon during the University year except Saturdays and Sundays and Sunday holidays in other periods. En-
trusted second-class matter Sept. 17, 1910, at Lawrence, Kan. post office under act of March 3, 1879.
NEWS DEPARTMENT
Malevolm Agglutee, Managin
NEWS DEPARTMENT
Malecolm Applegate Managing Editor
BUSINESS DEPARTMENT
Bill Irvine ... Business Manager
EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT
Al Jones  Editorial Editor
It Looks This Way . . .
Bv Al Jones
With apologies to Sam Clemens: Everyone talks about the late, late show, but nobody does anything about it. I hold that the TV movie and its presentation is a worse problem than the weather ever was. Weather at least may be blamed on a benevolent, if inscrutable, Providence. The late show is the creation of money-hungry TV stations.
The love of money is the root of all evil, and nowhere are the roots deeper than in the spot commercial. The 1-minute spot makes money for the TV station, and apparently makes money for the
advertiser. The only sufferer is the viewing public.
In the spirit of research, something like a man sticking his arm into a mosquito cage, I timed the late and the late, late shows the other night. These are the results:
So long as a reasonable number (say 10 per cent) of the viewers buy the products so loathsomely advertised, the rest must continue to suffer these 1-minute offenses to taste and sensibility. That, or quit watching.
The first movie ran just 112 minutes 40 seconds.Added to this time were commercials totaling 24 minutes 40 seconds. There were 8 commercial breaks, plus a solid 6 minutes 15 seconds of plugs after the show.
Then the late news. For only 6.17 of news, the broadcast was interrupted twice for 1-minute spots. This was followed by 2.30 commercials and lead in for the late horror show. This movie ran 78.48, plus 17.18 of commercials. The movie was interrupted 6 times by commercials.
Of course, commercials are necessary. The sponsor pays the freight, at least until pay TV becomes universal. But the irritating, distasteful, nauseating, every-10-minute commercial is an irresponsible use of the broadcasting privilege.
If the late show plug is the sort that appeals to the buying public, then the public is soft in the head.
Sleeping pills, reducing pills, get-fat pills, headache pills, blood tonic pills, laxative pills, and belly-rumble pills.
In a shrill, high-pressure sell, these late-evening plugs push: sweat stopper, hair spray, dandruff killer, shaving cream, hair remover, shampoo, hair slickum,
The person who is supposed to go for this pitch must be in bad shape. The psychology is crude and sexual, the dialogue infantile, the visual part mind-rotting.
I don't expect to deter anyone from watching the late show, nor to arouse a wave of public sentiment against the degenerate plug. But I, for one, wouldn't suffer through another evening of garbage for anything short of an Academy Award movie—and not for many of them.
BIRD TV-RADIO
VI 3-8855
908 Mass.
Expert Service
Quality Parts
- Guaranteed
PAT READ
INDIAN TRADER
445 Tenn. St. Ph.VI 3-1306
Gifts That Are Different
- Indian Jewelry - Navajo Rugs
- Hand Loomed Ties
The Midwest's Largest Dealer In Indian Handicraft
Open
9:00 A.M. UNTIL 5:00 P.M.
Open Evenings By Appointment