University Daily Kansan Monday, May 20, 1957 Down The Hill- Ode To Seniors (Editor's note: The following whimsical bit of writing appeared in the University Daily Kansan on May 23, 1953. The author, Chuck Zuegner, recently passed his oral examinations for a master's degree in journalism.) Gimme that degree, I wanna go, go! Fed up with teachers, bleachers, class notes, campus votes, test tubes, classroom rubes, final exams, fine arts hams, text books, book nooks, and faculty schnooks. Wanna go to work, wife, mother, or dog; gimme a paycheck, uniform, get me out of this smog. Through with learning. Wanna do, did, does, get it done. Wanna earn, not learn. Enough 'o these ideas. Wanna put me down to some practice, pleezu. Gotta get me out to meet 'em and greet 'em. And tell 'em and sell 'em. They don't care about Pline and Winnie. They want pounds and gallons and lumber feet. Know how to build and pave a street. Thought and told are through, bought and sold are new. Thinkers are out; computers are in. Figure the wage with a new kind of gauge, forget the trends intellectual bends. Run, don't walk down the venerable Hill. Too many bennies, late-study pills. Think? Become a sphinx. Egypt is done; drive is our fun. Books we'll condense and let 'em be, propped in a row above the TV. Why books when we got TV? And a degree. Let 'em fix the plot, follow it through. Ugh, heap Injun, he's a schmoo. Operas, of course, but soap and horse. Culture? Well, sure, but not a big dose. Time's short; we-ve got to cut close. Maybe at sixty, think and reflect. And decide on the ways that better all men. Service to men? Customers first. India, China, spots on the sun. No import now; life has begun. Does the other matter? Darn tootin' it does. It matters as much as a good home and love. Free choice is the arrow; the intellect the bow, to be used as best and as right as we know. Got to think, chug-a-lug, think, chug-a-lug, think, chug-a-lug, to serve ourselves and the guy next door and the Guy up above. Our good friend Elred is somewhat alarmed at the approach of finals. "Gaaaah!" quoth Elrod in alarm "Gaaaahh!" quoth Eldro in alarm. "Gaaaahh?" we queried, "But Elrod, why are you so alarmed at the approach of finals?" "Haaaagl!" he replied, which is gaaaah spelled in reverse. "I am alarmed because of the lack of time to study for said finals. Be it known that a myriad of finals fall on the same day, all of which constitute a major portion of my (chuckle) grade." "Your chuckle grade?" we queried. "Baffoon!" he expostulated Dawson "Do you suggest a longer period?" "Many of my courses require a good deal of preparation before the final examination. I am wont to find adequate time. One week just ain't enough." he said, lapsing into low English. "Verily, that I do. Methinks two weeks instead of one, like some noble institutions in the League of Ivy." "But." we rejoined. "But what? It is unfair to place such a burden upon those who must needs be making an 'excellent' on their finals to pass. Particularly," he added, lowering his voice, "when MY grades are not up to those of par." "In short, you are mocking finals week?" “True.” And with that Elrod shouldered his Insects and Man notebook, his Marriage and Family text, his Social Dance handy guide (with illustrations), and lept off to the Hawk for some serious study. One of our partners in crime is amazed at his good vision acquired through the use of some new spectacles. His sight is so much improved that he has broken his engagement with a lady friend. With all the rain we've had recently, perhaps having an Indian institute nearby isn't such a good idea after all. Ad booki. Jerry Dawson Daily Transan University of Kansas student newspaper truweekly 1908, daily Jan. 16, 1912. truweekly 1908, daily Jan. 16, 1912. Telephone VIKING $-2100 Extension 251 news room Extended 274 business office Extension 376, business once Memorial College Press. Associated Collegiate Press. Represented by National Advertising Service, 420 Madison Ave., New York, N. Y. service; United Press. Mail subscription rates: $3 a semester or $4.50 a year. Published in Lawrence, Kan., every afternoon during the University year except Saturday. Published in Lawrence, Kan., examination periods. Entered as second-class matter Sept. 17, 1910, at Lawrence, Kan., post office under act of March 3, 1879. NEWS DEPARTMENT Kent Thomas ... Managing Editor John Battin, *Secelia Ann Fenberg*, Bob Lyle, Betty Jean Stanford, Assistant Managing Editor; Jim Banman, City Erie Manager; Michael Zermun, Assistant City Editors; Hiroshi Shlonozaki, Telegraph Editor; Mary Bey Noyes, Delbert Haley, Assistant Telegraph Editors; Dick Brown, Sports Editor; George Anthan, Assistant Sports Editor; Marilyn Mernis, Society Editor; Michael Ansant Society Editor; John Eaton, Picture Editor. EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Jerry Dawson ... Editorial Editor Dale Bowers Business Manager Dave Dickey, Advertising Manager; John Hedley, National Advertising Manager; Harold Metz, Classified Advertising Manager; Conboy Brown, Circulation Manager. 1,200 Are Candidates (Continued from Page 1) Jack W. Weinrich, Lenexa; Lauren K. Welch, Pawnee Rock; Bruce E. Wenger, Ruth A. S. Winchita, Ruth A. S. Wichita; Robert D. Wilber, Kansas City, Kan.; Elaine G. Montgomery, Westmont, Fla.; Shirley A. Witte, Richland; Sarah Wittenkamp, Madison, Wis. Diane Worthington, Wichita; Sara H. Wright, Kansas City, Kan.; George R. Wright, Gretchen Center; Byron W. Jr., Caldwell; Gretchen L. Youse, Baxter Springs. Laura R. Caldwell, Kansas City, Mo; James C. Edwards, Tola; James B. Smith, St. Louis, Mo; Winton W. Wahl, Topeka; Lawrence E. Weaver, Salina. Bachelor of science— Walter D. Coleman, Denison; Phillip R. Ernst, Lawrence; Alvin D. Haverty, Lawrence; Ronald T. Jaberberg, Obernagar Gregory Johnson, McPherson; Donald Loomis, Looms; Lusk, Olivet; Richard Lynch, Lawrence; Lawrence A. Rockers, Richmond Judith M. M. Smith, Overland Park, Roger Lee Wood, Wichita; Jouan H. B. Miller, Wichita; John H. Billi- Tyro; Clarice E. Gertson, Atwood; Barba- bara J. Steward Kenyon, Hill City; Jacqueline A. Wilson, Coffeyville; Pane- rine R. Kemper; Terry F. Fallside, Neb.; Mary L. Deaver, Toppea Janis R. Hartell, Plattsburg, Moan; Robert R. Hileman, Leavenworth; Joan S. Hill, Abilene; Ann Kelm, Cape Girard- land; John Crawford, Columbia; Kathryn J. Legier, Robinson; Franco G. Todd, Atchison; Robert H. Master- son, Pittsburg. School of Business Bachelor of science Carl S. Anderson, Wichita; Kenneth R. Anderson, Belleville; Norman R. Arnold, Coffeyville; Stanley R. Ausewil, Belleville; William J. Charles E. Beall, Leavenworth; Clarence Bender, Russell; Marshall D. Bierfeld, Minneapolis; Frank R. Black, Lawrence Harvey, Bobker, Mission; James Harvard, Wichita; R. L. Brown III, Kansas City, Kan Bachelor of science— Robert M. Buell, Berryville, Ark.; A. Ellen Burnette, Coldwater; Patrick H. Canary, Michifla; James A. Christenson, land; Larry G, Coker, Osawatomie; Jack M. Conlon, Kansas City, Mo.; John B. Overley, Overland Park; David H. Cooper, Charles A. Ensminger, Wichita; John C. Efklsen, Hutchinson; Gordon R. Ewy, Kentucky; Michael J. Forrest, D. Fletcher, Pratt; John R Fortino, Carona; James E. Fowkes, Carola; William E. Fowkes, St. Joseph, Mo.; Michael H. Gibson, Hutchinson; William R. Gilstrap, Hoisington; Joseph G. Glatz, Kansas City, Leland R. Green, Kansas City, Kan. Hutchinson; Robert A. Cooper, Springfield. Mo.; Robert E. Couch, Anthony; William L. Crain Jr., Kansas City, Mo; Ralph L. Croyle, Lincolnville. James L. Curry, Ottawa; Paul W. De Good Jr., Pratt; John S. Dial, Topeka; John C. Dierking Jr., Prairie Village; Donald D. Dixon, Topeka; Margarete Dows, Wichita; Ronald D. Duphorne; Easter Ablenice; Clifford A. Eler, Diamond Mo.; Jimmy P. Ellott, Merriam; William Enoch, Hutchinson. Larry S. Gutsch, Salina; Eugene F. Hahn, Emporia; Gerald E. Hahn, Emporia; Nancy L. Hartwell, Kansas City, So. David L. Hays, Larned; Homer E. Hahn, Jynn C. Iltel, Calver; Harold C. Hill Jr., Wichita; John L. Hyson Jr., Ottawa Herbert W. Irwin, Kansas City, Mo; Robert C. Jackson, Leawood; William Joia; Dais M. Johnson Lacrosse, D. Jones; D. J. Moore; Thomas P. P. Jones, Glendale, Mo.; Harry E. Jordan Jr., El Dotato; Lloyd K. Klaus, Bethel; William R. Lindsay, Missi- gna; John B. McCune, Long; McCune; Donald E. Lumpkin, Phillips- burg; William R. Lyons, Iola Ted A. Oliver, Mission Hills; Eugene J. O'Neill, Lawrence; John B. Pace, Independence, Mo.; John E. Parker Jr., Mission Donald R. Paxson, Topeka; Jon Fitztenreuter, Carlsbad, N.M. Lawley D. Puvogel, Netakawa; Raymond E. Rathert, Chapman; Jack L. Reams, Wellsville; Robert W. Reck, Wichita. Donald Marsh, Kansas City, Kan; Pamela Bauer, Glenwood; Glenn A. Mason Jr, Anthony; Hillary A. Mack, McLouth; Dwane B. Mnabb, Malvern; Virginia A. Miller; Topea; Kirk, Richard; Terri L. Nelson; L. Moffet, Kansas City, Mo.; Robert B. Moya, Coffeyville; Donald L. Nelson, Kansas City, Kan.; Joe G. Newton, Grainfield; James R. Norman, Kansas City, Mo. Edward F. Reddick, Kansas City, Mo; Jerry D. Roberts, Overland Park; Theodore A. Rohde, Sioux City, Ohio; Bruce R. Romje, Wichita; Ann P. Ross, Pathena, James C. Ruthrauff, Overland Park; Bert H. Beard, Montclair lage; Karl A. Searls, Kansas City, Mo; John D. Shackleton, Pittsburg; Charles R. Shaver, Independence. Harry L. Shetlar Jr., Belle Plaing; James O. Shirley, Parsons; Jackie L. Smith, Kansas City, Kan.; Neal S. Smoyer, Lawrence; Brock R. Snyder, Topee M. Kellogg, Topee M. Paul M. Sieele, Colby; Donald P. Steinmeyer, Topea; Charles L. Stephens, Nashville, Tenn.; James E. Storey, Girard; William S. Timmons Jr., Riley; Robert E. Tobey, John N. Wathen, Mo.; John S. Watson, Bonner Springs. James B. Whittaker, Highland; Gerald A. Williams, Palo Alto; William J. Williams Jr.; Almena; Hal G. Williamson, Salina; Milton S. Winter Jr., Law, Washington; John C. Wheeler; Bryan K. Bryan, Menkas City, Mo. Richard L. Davis, Emporia; Gary Griffiths, Kansas City, Mo.; Ronald D. Herman, Kansas City, Mo.; James Kelley, Kansas City, Mo.; R.K. Lakeview, Tex.; William P. McWilliams, Jr., Kansas City, Mo.; LeoandR. O. Rohrbough, Galenia; Nancy L. Smith, Kansas City, Mo.; Ronald W. Wheeler, Kansas City, Mo.; Gretchen K. Zimmermann, Lawrence Engineering And Architecture Engineering of science in aeronautical engineering- Bachelor of science in architectural engineering— Dean W. Graves, Kansas City, Kan.; Joseph L. Johnson, Lawrence; Harlan K. Wilson, Hawkins, Raymond L. Voskirk Jr., Roy M. Mo.; Richard E. Wink, Dallas, Tex. Bachelor of science in architecture Philip W. Coolidge, Topeka, George R. Lawrence, Cincinnati, Lawrence; Burton R. Howell, Kansas City, Kan.; Frank Lansky, Memphis, Tenn.; Harry O. Ogg, Kansas City, Mo.; Benjamin Weingarr, Cincinnati, Mo. Benjamin Weingarr, Wamgo Bachelor of science in chemical engineering— an D. Akers, St. Joseph, Mo; Bill (Continued on Page 8) Endurance races are known as marathons because, in 490 B. C., an Athenian courier, ran an incredible 150 miles in two days to get Greek reinforcements who ultimately defeated the Persians in a battle on the Plain of Marathon. Hippos have a remarkable ability to run along the bottom of a stream, from which they rise to breathe fresh air. They have been known to remain under water for 15 minutes, but normally they come up every two or three minutes. Three Pines Boarding Kennels - Large Individual Outside Runs ED & JANET YOUNG 2 Miles South Of Lawrence On Hiway 59 1st House South Of Bridge Yes... We take out of town weddings too... HIXON STUDIO and CAMERA SHOP Don Crawford ● Bob Blank VI 3-0330 Announcing THE NEW QUICK-RECOVERY ELECTRIC WATER HEATER "New Low Water Heating Rates, Too" Now—all the hot water you want every hour of the day from the new super-performance electric water heater! marvelous (fast-recovery type) electric water heater will furnish you with more than six times the hot water normally required by the average family! Its two electric heating elements (top and bottom) make possible compactness, speed, safety and cleanliness. And, in addition to super speed, you can heat water at a new low electric water heating rate! Ask about it at your KP&L office. See Your Live Better . . . Electrically Dealer!