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University Daily Kansan Tuesday, March 26, 1957
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One Woman's Opinion—
Squat-Funny-Ha! Ha!?
Last week, a KU publication was put on campus newsstands for the third time this year. From the evident clamor to purchase one of these, a passerby, not knowing different, would be led to believe that the printed matter was of great interest-at least to the students. And from the subtle smiles and chuckles that came from some as they thumbed through the magazine, it could probably be assumed that it was interesting.
The stranger is gullible, so a further persuals tells him that this is "the official humor publication of the University of Kansas."
Had the stranger been curious enough to investigate the matter and even gone so far as to buy one of these magazines, he would have found, on the cover, a distorted drawing of what is meant to be a student, holding a banner that says, "Hooray for spring." And above the banner the word "Squat."
This should be good, he thinks to himself, and begins to read. He starts with the first story, which somehow falls flat, but he reads on anyway, and as he goes on, he begins to wonder "Is this humor?" A check on the index page assures him that it is, or at least that's what it's supposed to be.
But is Squat magazine humor? That is, is it the kind of humor that one should find in a university publication? If you were to take away the risque element, the intellectual level would be that of a junior high student.
And if you would add more of the same element,
We are not accusing the magazine of being immoral. Most of us will admit to listening to, telling, and enjoying what are referred to as "off-color" stories.
It is the so-called fiction stories that drag it down to ground level. They're extremely tite and unfunny, though they are purported as humor. Admittedly, humor is one of the hardest things to write, but why even begin when your end product is going to come out like the stories found in Squat?
Nevertheless, we do have an obligation to many people when it comes to campus publications. Our papers and magazines reach many homes, and impressions of the university are in part based on what is written by students.
We note, however, that most of these stories are taken from other publications, so perhaps it is possible that KU students recognize the limited ability of the inexperienced writer of humor by not submitting manuscripts.
Further, it is not necessarily the jokes found in Squat that we object to, although in many instances there is considerable room for improvement in the choice of those to be used.
A humor magazine is a helpful, as well as entertaining, project for a university. But the organizers of such a pamphlet should strive for more edification and more honest humor than is evident in the issues of Squat to date.
—Ardeth Nieman
Thank You For Your Support
The Team
(A note of thanks to the student body from their 1957 basketball team.)
This may not be the proper way to express our appreciation for your support, but we do want all of you to know that we sincerely appreciated the tremendous sendoff that you gave us last Thursday and especially the reception that we received at the Student Union after the game Saturday.
When we saw all those cheering students, we felt that we had let them down and it really hurt. We couldn't help but think that if we could only play that last game over, it might have ended
differently. But in athletics when a contest has gone by the boards you can't reverse the outcome.
Saturday night we saw the greatest display of enthusiasm that we had ever seen from KU students. Your efforts were deeply appreciated.
We realized that we hadn't been playing the game alone, that there was a wonderful group of spirited students behind us. It made us all very proud to be Kansas Jayhawks.
Bob Billings, Russell sophomore (On behalf of the entire 1957 basketball team.)
Most of us realize that one of the best ways to guide people toward a false line of reasoning is to twist the facts. Larry Boston demonstrated this principal very well in his Daily Kansan article of March 21. Mr. Boston was remarking on the election apathy in Leavenworth, Kansas.
Another Side
... Letters ...
He stated that Leavenworth failed to have a primary election before its city election because only eight voters out of 22,145 persons registered to vote. The author continued his article by pointing out all of the election preparations necessary by law for a general election that would have to be executed just for eight voters.
He lamented upon the fact that the citizens of Leavenworth had lost a great deal when they gave up their right to vote. The article was terminated by saying that the election day deaths of the early day Leavenworth pioneers were worth much more then the money that might be saved by not having an election. In this instance, I think that Mr. Boston is referring to the primary.
Mr. Boston's attitude against voting apathy is good and is a feeling which more of us should develop, however, one should investigate the subject matter fully before he states his views. The author was mistaken on almost every count and left a poor impression of a progressive city. In defense of my home town and its people, I would like to make a few comments.
Kansas City, Kan.-(UP)-Judge John C. Pollock of the federal district court today took under advisement the case in which the Glenn W. Dickerson Theaters company is seeking an injunction against any interference with giving of Sunday shows in his houses.
ly law, a primary election is not needed if only one slate is registered for candidacy. It was
Also, by law, those who voted in the last general election are automatically registered for the city election. Instead of only eight registered voters there are almost seven or eight thousand Leavenworth citizens who can vote. These two facts alone will set the record straight.
only common sense not to have a primary since there was only one man running for each office. And besides the city saved $3,500.
Tuesday, March 29, 1932
Movie Ad: "Confessions of a Co-ed" starring Phillips Holmes and Sylvia Sidney.
Ad: These spring days will fairly fly, and 'will help you to be happier and healthier if you will eat at the Student Union Cafeteria.
My home town, like most of our home towns, has a special place in my heart. I believe that its people are as patriotic and believe in their freedoms just as devoutly as their fellows.
Bob Nebrig,
Leavenworth freshman
25 Years Ago
Champagne was originally fermented in the French province of Champagne, and Port wine is a product of Oporto in Portugal.
As the charter chapter of Delta Phi Delta, national honor art fraternity, the KU chapter held its first meetings in old Snow Hall in 1909. Since that time it has expanded to 39 active chapters across the nation.
In its position as capital of the British West Indies Federation, Trinidad will contribute one of the most productive and prosperous economies found along the entire Caribbean circuit.
University of Kansas student newspaper Founded 1808, became biweekly 1904,
trweekly 1808, daily Jan. 16, 1912.
Telephone Viking 3-2700
Extension 251, news room
Extension 376, business office
Extension 376, business office
Member Inland Daily Press Association.
Association board. Presented by
business Advertising Service, 420
Madison Ave., New York, N. Y.
service: United Press. Mail subscription
rates: $3 a semester or $4.50 a year. Published in Lawrence, Kan., every afternoon during the University year except
Saturdays and holidays. Full-time examination periods. Entered as second-class matter Sept. 17, 1910, at
Lawrence, Kan., post office under act of March 3, 1879.
Daily Hansan
Kent Thomas ... Managing Editor
John Battin, Fiecia Ann Fenberg, Bob Lyle, Betty Jean Stanford, Assistant Managing Editors; Jim Banman, City Editor; Nancy Harmon, LeLoi, mermerian; John Hiroshi, Shilouzaki, Telegraph Editor; Mary Beth Noyes, Delbert Haley, Assistant Telegraph Editors; Dick Brown, Sports Editor; George Anthan, Assistant Sports Editor; Martlyn Screw, Pat Jenkins, Banman, Assistant Society Editor; John Eaton, Picture Editor.
NEWS DEPARTMENT
EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT
BUSINESS DEPARTMENT
EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT
Jerry Dawson ... Editorial Editor
Jerry Thomas, John Tice, Associate Edi-
BUSINESS DESIGN
Dale Dole Business Manager
Dave Dickey, Advertising Manager; John Hedley, National Advertising Manager;
Harold Metz, Classified Advertising Manager; Conboy Brown, Circulation Manager.
May Pass Duties If President Is III
WASHINGTON—(UP)—A prominent House Republican proposed legislation today to set up a high-level commission that could decide if the U.S. president was incapable of performing his duties.
Rep. Kenneth B. Keating (R-NY), senior GOP member of the House Judiciary Committee, told the United Press he is drafting a bill
and will have it ready for a sub-
committee hearing next Monday.
The subcommittee has asked Attorney General Herbert Brownell Jr. to testify. He is expected to recommend that a president, in event of disability, may delegate his powers and duties to the vice president and reclaim them when he has recovered.
THE PULSE-POUNDING SAGA OF DE WITT CLINTON, AMERICAN
Let us today turn our eager young minds to the inspiring story of De Witt Clinton, one of the greatest figures in American history and unaccountably - one of the most neglected.
He taught Phonetic English to 12 million Indians
Later, he became a keelboat and sailed home to enter politics. He tried to join the Greenback Party, but his back wasn't green enough, so he joined the Whigs.
De Witt Clinton (sometimes called Aaron Burr) first made himself known to fame in 1756 when Governor William Penn commissioned him to survey the forests of the Western Reserve. (One is inclined to wonder what in the world Governor Penn could have been thinking of, for De Witt Clinton was eighteen months old at the time.) However, the little chap did remarkably well. He surveyed as far west as Spokane, teaching phonetic English to more than twelve million Indians along the way, and then, tired but happy, he became Johnny Appleseed.
He was offered the Whig nomination for the presidency, but declined with the celebrated statement: "If nominated I will not run; if elected I will not serve."
But the Whigs only nudged each other and said, "That old fox, he's just playing hard to get." So they nominated him anyhow, and sure enough he did not run, but he was elected anyhow, and sure enough he did not serve. In fact, he was elected to a second term, which he also did not serve. However, only a few top Whigs knew there was nobody in the White House. The rest of the country thought that the President was confined to his room with a wrenched knee. For a while people sent "Get Well" cards, but soon everyone forgot and turned their attention to important matters like opening the west, inventing the buffalo, and the Black Tom Explosion.
After two terms as President, De Witt Clinton entered Yale and took up smoking. He tried several brands of cigarettes until he found the one brand that pleased him in every particular-Philip Morris, of corris!
(You knew I was going to say that, didn't you? Well, of course you did, especially if you are a Philip Morris smoker, for if you are, you know what a sweetheart of a smoke Philip Morris is — how full of rich, natural flavor, how natural and mellow, how long size and regular. And if you are not a Philip Morris smoker, you've got a treat coming. Light one soon. Light either end.)
Upon graduation from Yale, De Witt Clinton became commissioner of baseball and smoked and loved Philip Morris Cigarettes for the rest of his long and distinguished life, and when at last he was called to his reward, his friend Old Hickory (Daniel Webster) stood up in the Senate and said, "How sad that De Witt Clinton must now be forever separated from his beloved Philip Morris!"
"Nay!" cried Pitt, the Elder (Henry Clay), bounding to his feet. "We need not separate De Witt Clinton and Philip Morris. I know how to keep them together always!"
And, sure enough, if you will look at the blue federal tax stamp on your pack of Philip Morris, guess whose picture you'll see. De Witt Clinton's! That's whose!
$ \textcircled{c} $Max Shulman, 1957
The makers of Philip Morris, who bring you this column each week, don't subscribe to Old Max's historical data, but we sure admire his taste in cigarettes. You will too. Try a new natural Philip Morris today!