Page 2.
University Daily Kansan Thursday, Oct. 18, 1953
Want To Be A Star - Get An Agent
News-makes news.
Just an old eliche with a relatively new twist. A twist that started when boys with a knack for fast talk gave up the carnival barking business, took on a darn little polish, and became some entertainment unknown's publicity agent.
Agents are strictly businessmen, and they are selling the public a commodity. That commodity should be talent but it usually isn't. Unfortunately there isn't enough to spread around among all those who want it or think they have it. When some future star lacks talent some other "attribute" must be found, developed, and presented to the public (in a wrapper stamped TALENT).
When John Smith gets a publicity agent the agent immediately gives John a brand name. (John Smith becomes Scott Terrier.)
Then his 'real' story comes out. No one ever heard of Scott but they all wish him lots of success because he sounds like such a human human.
When it is well established that Scott is human, the next step is to supply him with a talent since he can't act, sing, dance, or play a musical instrument. The publicity agent works from different levels depending on whether or not his future star is a man or a woman. If the commodity is a man and his name is Scott Terrier, he takes it from the top. Scott tries to wiggle his ears, finds he can't and eventually starts working on wiggling his legs.
When the art is mastered, Scott is ready to be wrapped and sent to retailers who will present him to John Q. as the greatest bang since gunpowder.
Since leg-wiggling is a passing art, it is possible that Scott can't stay on top too long. In this case he is marked RUSH. It seems that the only thing not covered by the pure food and drug laws are half-baked or over-ripe entertainers.
At his first public performance an uninterested person in the audience (usually the agent's wife) faints. It makes the newspapers, the agent says the unidentified woman had too much Scott, and the money rolls in.
The agent starts looking for a versatile bearded lady to play all the leads in an adaptation of Dostoevski's "Brothers Karamazov," Scott buys a pink Cadillac just because he's an average lad like everyone else (with a pink Cadillac), and a star is born. —Jerry Thomas
Just Browsing . . .
Well, our seniors finally had their big moment, which will no doubt be surpassed only by the big senior section at the football game and the even greater moment when it is announced that the Class of '57 is presenting the University with a solid brass statute of Rodney Trifocal, the inventor of the IBM machine.
But boy, that senior coffee hour—man, that was really something. All those girls running around on the stage, badges and pennants for sale, and FREE coffee and doughnuts.
And that senior cheer—you can talk about originality, and original cheers, and you can rave all you want about those virtures, but this year's cheer can't even be mentioned in the same breath with the word "original."
Of course, we've got to admit that the Senior Class Cheer Writing Assm. was faced with a difficult problem, in that the only words which rhyme with "fifty-seven" are "heaven" and "eleven."
A couple of days ago we pointed out that it would be somewhat sacrilegious to mention "heaven" and "class of fifty-seven" in the same cheer. By the same standpoint, about the only way you can use "eleven" is in reference to a game of galloping dominoes, and of course that wouldn't pertain in any way to the Class of '57.
We chanced to be choking down a cup of coffee over at the Union the other night, and managed to worm our way into a meeting of the SCCWA. Seeing as how the meeting was taking place the night before the big coffee hour, the gang was a little bit panic-streken, but that didn't stop those great minds from functioning.
No sir, they were coming up with scads of ideas, but the enormity of their task seemed to hinder them a little.
The best one we heard over there was the plan to have the class sing, in unison, this little ditty:
"S-E-N; I-O-R; C-L-A-S-S"
All this would be to the music as that ever-popular favorite, the "Mickey Mouse Song." Unfortunately, the SCCHA ran out of coffee just at this point, and words for the rest of the song were never composed.
But the real credit for this year's senior yell must go to Mike Megaphone, an honorary member of the SCCWA. Mike told a Kansan reporter he thought of the cheer while
America's newest national park, the Virgin Islands National Park, recently authorized by Congress, preserves one of the most unsuillied beauty spots on the face of the earth. The nation's 29th park, it will include some 10,000 lushly forested acres on the island of St. John in the Caribbean.
Better than one in four beginning school teachers today are men sign the National Education Association.
eating breakfast Wednesday morning, but he refused to take the credit.
"It was all the seniors who made this great event possible," he said immediately after the convocation. "I really didn't do anything."
To which we say, amen.
Dick Walt
West Germany Converts Army
By UNITED PRESS
West Germany seems to be heading toward a radical change in policy.
The West German army, now in process of formation, probably will be converted into a largely volunteer force based on the use of tactical atomic weapons.
Politically, West Germany is likely to cooperate more closely with other western European countries, especially Great Britain and France.
It seems possible that the change in policy also may result in the establishment of better relations with Soviet Russia.
But one change which had long been expected seems to have been postponed. West German Chancellor Konrad Adenauer, now nearing his 81st birthday, apparently intends to keep his leadership for the foreseeable future, and not name a political heir.
Mr. Blank was sacrificed because of the lag in rearmament. The lag was due partly to the strong opposition by many West Germans to the whole rearmament program, especially the draft. But Mr. Blank had become increasingly unpopular himself.
The most notable change was that Defense Minister Theodor Blank was dropped. The defense post was given to Atomic Energy Minister Franz-Josef Strauss.
The change in policy was foreshadowed when Mr. Adehauer shook up his cabinet.
As planned originally, West Germany was to have a 500,000-man "fighting force," as it is called officially, based on the use of conventional weapons. Most of the men were to be draftees.
Mr. Strauss has more advanced ideas. Under him, the fighting force is expected to be limited to 300,000 men. It will probably consist largely of professionals—volunteers who want to make the army a career.
Lake Athabasca in Saskatchewan has given up what is believed to be the largest lake trout ever taken--80 pounds 8 ounces and 52 inches long.
Temperatures in Texas vary from an annual mean of 56 degrees in the Panhandle to 74 degrees in the Lower Rio Grande Valley.
... Letters ..
Editor:
I found an old copy of the Daily Kansan (Oct. 3) and read the article on the Olympic Games. I think if the Greeks of that time had watched their afternoon news broadcast on television and had seen such things as Rameses III, building a better and bigger pyramid they would have been rather surprised. No respectable pharaoh of that time, not even Rameses III., built such an old fashioned thing as a pyramid, not even a bigger and better one. A pharaoh who wanted to be up-to-date built a grave chamber in the Valley of the Kings and completed the work at the Karnak or Medinet Habu Temple. The times of the pyramids were about 1500 years ago of that time.
Ted Bahr Graduate Student
(The Daily Kansan welcomes letters to the editor on any topic or of any opinion provided that they are in good taste. They must be limited to 300 words and must be signed. The Daily Kansan prefers to use the name of the letter writer, but will use a pen name if the writer so desires. It reserves the right to use or reject letters for publication as it sees fit, and the right to edit and cut.)
Castle Rock and Monument Rocks, chalk forms in Gove county, are among the outstanding geologic attractions in the state. According to the State Geological Survey at the University of Kansas, these chalk forms are remnants of shell accumulations deposited in Cretaceous seas between 60 million and 130 million years ago.
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NEWS DREAMS
Dick Waltle, Managing Editor
Margaret Armstrong, Gerald Dawson,
Larry Stroup, Louis Stroup, Assistant
Managing Editors; Kent Thomas, City
Editor; Fescia Fenbeng, Assistant City
Editor; Eleanor Grosz, Assistant
Editor; Joan George, Assistant Telegraph Editor; Daryl Hall, Sports Editor;
Gerald Thomas, Robert Riley, Ass-
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塞尔, Jean Seacat, Assistant
Society Editor.
NEWS DEPARTMENT
EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT
Bay Gregerson ... Editorial Editor
David Webb ... Editorial Editor
BUSINESS DEPARTMENT
Todd Crittenden ... Business Manager
Leo Flanagan, Advertising Manager; Joe Gound, Digital Inventory Manager; Jill Watson, Marketing Advertising Manager; Wayne Hagden, Circulation Manager; Jim Gauppar, Art Director
Scientist Defends Nuclear Tests
cratic presidential candidate Adlai E. Stevenson, Dr. Warren asserted that "distant or worldwide radioactive fallout is not controlling factor in bomb testing."
WASHINGTON — (UP) — Dr. Shields Warren, an authority on atomic radiation, said that if nuclear weapons tests continued at the present rate for 30 years the genetic effect on man would "still be insignificant."
Taking sharp issue with Demo-
Sixty per cent of all car thefts are charged to teen-agents.
We Specialize In... BINIOCULARS, RIFLE SCOPES & TELESCOPES
Don Crawford
HIXON
Bob Blank
Studio and Camera Shop
V1 3-0330
721 Mass.
The University Veterans Organization lauds the All Student Council for the resolution they passed Tuesday night. This constitutes recognition of a problem concerning every fair minded student.
Congratulations ASC
The new resolution will not be satisfactory to all. Still the path has been opened for student opinion to guide the governing body in passing a resolution that will treat the problem in a permanent fashion fair to all.
Will the coming football and basketball seasons see tradition continue to infringe on the rights of the student? Or will the problem be alleviated as satisfactorily as seating space allows?
For First Steps Taken To Completely Alleviate the Seating Problem
We urge the student body to continue to make their feelings known to the ASC with a view toward the best solution for the most students.
UNIVERSITY VETERANS ORGANIZATION
For Your Hallowe'en Parties Serve
F
DRAKE'S DELICIOUS DOUGHNUTS
We're mixing up a fine batch of Hallowe'en Doughnuts for parties. So if you're planning spooky things at your House, better lay in a supply of bakery goodies to pacify the goblins. Cider 'n doughnuts—the traditional Hallowe'en party treat—is a special treat with freshly baked doughnuts from Drake's Bakery.
907 Mass.
V13-0561