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University Daily Kansan Wednesday, May 3, 1961
Ann vs. the World
Let us now praise famous women.
We have never written to Ann Landers. We never felt a great urge to do so. We've been pretty happy just plodding along, laughing and scratching and taking things as they come.
After her visit and talk here Monday night, however, we think it might be a good idea. She knows!
After years of experience and thousands of hours spent reading the mail the American people send her, Ann has the answer: the nation's No.1 problem is the lack of communication between the American husband and the American wife.
In this age of anxiety,this is reassuring news.
WE HAD BEEN WORRYING quite a bit about the Bomb lately. We thought things weren't looking so good in Asia. We had heard that Nicky K. was out to get us. And from what we had gathered, Latin America wasn't feeling too friendly toward us.
Not so, pooh-pohed Ann. These are nothing compared to what she has to come to grips with every single day. She answers more than 750 letters a day, solving gigantic crises, fixing communications, and answering questions with either hand.
Well, she convinced us. Not only are we going to start writing to her about what we thought were pretty big problems, but we're going to make sure that others avail themselves of her powers.
In no time at all, we will be seeing letters like this in her column:
DEAR ANN LANDERS: I'm about to go out of my mind. You might think me a kook for writing to you like this but I've tried to get help from everyone else and now I've got to turn to you as a last resort.
I'm middle-aged, fairly good looking, amiable, and, up until now, pretty popular. But all of a sudden, people are showing a marked dislike for me. They curse me, shout at me, and are even trying to get me fired from my job. God only knows why. They call me a "Yankee-sympathizer" and a "Colonialist war-monger." Why? Ann, Why? What did I do and what can I do?—DAG
DEAR DAG: I think you're a little hypersensitive about the whole thing. They way to correct this is just talk louder. When they start shouting, you start shouting. When they swear, you swear. In no time at all you'll be amazed at the effect this has. The main thing is to keep talking. Don't break down communications, boy; the world is depending on you.
★★★
DEAR ANN LANDERS: I need your help, quick. I waited for eight long years (and I mean long, Ann) to get to be the club's head man. I finally made it last summer and everything looked real great. We had this rumble with the
other gang scheduled for November, and if we had won it, I would have had the whole territory. But we lost—close—but we lost it.
Anyhow, I was still the head man, and I told everybody so. But then, along about February, some of the gang started making sounds like they wanted to take over. I didn't say anything because I thought it was agreed that I was the boy for the next rumble in '64. But now these guys, Rocky, Goldy, Ev, and Charlie, are trying to cut me out. What happened, Ann?—DICK
DEAR DICK: Obviously, you have become socially offensive to your friends. But this will wear off eventually.
What you have to do now is gain strength outside your territory so you will be the strongest one in your gang when the rumble comes in '64. Take a nice long trip to some place where you can make a lot of friends and where the people can make a big show of how they feel about you. How about Venezuela?
★，★ ★
DEAR ANN LANDERS: Me and the wine have been arguing about something for a long time. She said write to you and let you decide. I said OK, so here goes. We got this little island here, see, which we been living on for more than ten years, and I'm bored to death just sitting here with nothing to do. Oh, we got our friends and a few people who use to work for us here, but it's gotten to be a drag. Besides, our real home is over on the mainland. This island is just what you might call our little retreat.
Now, I want to go back home, but the wife wants to stay here. I know my friends across the way would be glad to have me back because every other day they fire off a salute to me with their guns. What do you say, Ann? Do we go back?-CHIANG
DEAR CHIANG: I think your wife is being very selfish and childish. I don't see how you two stayed together this long. This is what I mean when I tell the many people who write me that the main trouble in the world today is the lack of communication between husbands and wives. You talk to her once more, and if she still says no, you go over by yourself and show her what a good time you are having alone. Your warm reception will make her envious. Write me again a little later. I'm anxious to hear how this comes out.
★★
Then again, we don't think we will tell anyone about Ann Landers because we wouldn't be able to read her columns anymore. If word got out, she would undoubtedly find a place in the New Frontier.
"Ann, uh, Ann; I've got a little problem here and I was wondering..."
"Why certainly, Jack. Just a second. Now, Manie, as I was saying, when he comes home from the course tonight, you force him to talk to you, you hear?" — Frank Morgan
Women Worth It
I was disturbed upon discovering that the theme of All Women's Day this year was, "Aren't Women Something." I couldn't help looking twice at the implications of this statement, or should I say question. Its negative, questioning manner suggests that KU women are in doubt as to whether they really are something. Furthermore, the ambiguous quality of the word "something" leads one to ponder on what KU women think they are. We would all agree that women are "something," but if KU women set aside a special day to pat themselves on the back then perhaps they should state their worth more positively.
INDEED. THIS leads us to further speculation as to why such a day is an annual celebration at KU. Are our women so unsure of their position that they have to have a special day to convince themselves of their importance as well as to impress others? We would laugh at the idea of an All Men's Day, for the KU men are not so insecure in their position as to need such a
...Letters ...
day. I realize that women enjoy having such functions, but I think the time when KU women are sure enough of their value that they can dispense with their day of bragging will be the day they will really believe that "Women Are Something (Important)."
This is but one more outery against the reporting of the UDK; no doubt such an outery is futile, but it may be salutary to issue periodic warnings in case anyone lapses into reading reports as if they might be accurate.
Jeanne Sebaugh
Wichita junior
* * *
UDK Soundly Rebuked
Editor
IN THE FIRST PLACE, we wrote a letter some weeks ago which took issue with “remarks” on capital punishment reportedly made by a fellow-countryman of ours. This letter was published three weeks after it was given to the UDK and thus did not clearly bear any relation to a current report in the paper. It was also headed "Support Capital Punishment" — a curiously
Editor:
BUT, MUCH MORE important, it sprung from reported "remarks" which we have since learned were not merely distorted but had never even been made. We are well aware that the UDK reports rarely convey accurately the main point of a whole lecture or conversation, but we had thought that at least words given in quotation marks as a verbatim record might be relied on. It seems not.
misleading caption, since the letter's point was unequivocally not in support of capital punishment.
It is understandable, though not very laudable, that the general gist of a speech may be missed; it is indefensible that words in quotation marks should be set down when nothing like them has been said. Must such misrepresentation be ascribed to dishonesty or stupidity? Either way the phenomenon is depressing.
Ann and Michael Cornish, English department
(Editor's Note: The "unidentified English instructor from England," whose remarks concerning a power of law Lee knows in question, was quoted correctly.)
"Anybody here got any really big problems?"
WOMAN OF TASTE
D. H. Lawrence—ah how she adores him!
So vibrant, Mistrustful of women. So dead!
She loves him almost more than Keats,
And nearly as madly as Dylan Thomas.
(Ah, killable, killable, killable Dylan.
Doesn't she love him the latest and best?)
But for a nice stroll through the cemetery Of Death-in-Life, sweet Thanatopsis. There is no one quite like Thomas Mann At her right hand, and George Eliot on her left. (Ah, the long cold cemetery fingers Leafing the dead pages of the library books.)
Arvid Shulenberger
They dreamed roaring downward, half aware, Course, angle, ranges numbered—Nine. Angels three . . . down . . . Seven . . . down. The flashed unlikely splendor caught them there. Brilliant—everywhere—the wing, the dials Bloomed about their heads, and all their gear. In seconds which they might consign to fear Dull habit marked the angels and the miles. Two bombs like toys lay drifting in the glare, The throttle firewalled, the ship roared lower, Dull tones like ocean which were only air In fairings at four hundred miles an hour. Then dark; the gunner out of a natural calm Pronounced his string of curses like a psalm.
BOMB RUN: HAHA JIMA
- Arvid Shulenberger
Dailu Hansan
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