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University Daily Kansan Monday, February 13, 1961
On the Hill
Delta Tau Delta
Delta Tau Dual fraternity recently elected spring semester officers. They are: president, Clay Edmands, Minneapolis senior; vice president, Dick Harper, Mission junior; recording secretary, Bob Allen, Webster Groves, Mo., junior; corresponding secretary, Ken Lyle, Coffeville junior; treasurer, Bob Gish, Garden City sophomore; house manager, Bob Ruzicka, Concordia sophomore.
Fabiani, of Italy, cloaks a woman in dramatic full capes. Simonetta wraps the ladies in ponchos. And Italy's Goya wraps a woman up to her nose in scarves.
Kappa Sigma fraternity recently elected spring semester officers. They are; president, James Mortimer, Salma senior; vice president, Tom Bettelsen, Kansas City, Mo.; senior; secretary, Curt Brewer, LaGrange, Ill., junior; scribe, Roland Selman, Kansas City sophomore; grand master of ceremonies, Larry DeFever, Independence sophomore; and house manager, Ed Popham, Chillicothe, Mo., senior.
Kappa Sigma
Judy Gray, Lawrence senior, Pi Beta Phi, to Al Roots, University of Nebraska, Sigma Phi Epsilon.
Pinnings Announced
--graduate student, secretary; Christian Laubie, Avallon Yonn, France graduate student, treasurer; David H. Roberts, Wichita senior, social chairman.
Engineering Council
Margaret Nichols, Ottawa University, to David Nolting, Nortonville junior, Concordia Club.
The engineering council recently elected the general and publicity chairmen for the Engineering Exposition to be held April 21 and 22. Carl Hood, Rochester, N.Y., senior, was elected general chairman and Don Hunter, Oak Park, Ill., junior, was elected publicity chairman.
The International Club recently elected spring semester officers. They are Agil A. Asfour, Irbed, Jordan, freshman, president; Francis O. Olkediji, Ilora vig Oye, Nigeria, graduate student, vice president; Julia M. Matthews, Kent, England.
International Club
Five nations are represented in the executive council of the club which has 250 members from 50 countries.
Campus Club News
NATIONAL BEAUTY SALON WEEK dedicated to more beautiful women.
CAMPUS BEAUTY SHOPPE
1144 Indiana
"VALENTINE'S DAY GREETINGS TO THE CAMPUS AND WELCOME TO NEW STUDENTS.
"Try our new specialized color hairdos or our regular highest quality permanents."
For Appointments Call
VI 3-3034
FEBRUARY 12-18, 1961
"THE SLOW RUSH"
Illustrated below is the membership pin of a brand-new national fraternity called Signa Phi Nothing. To join Signa Phi Nothing and get this hideous membership pin absolutely free, simply take a pair of scissors and cut out the illustration and paste it to your dickey
Let me hasten to state that I do not recommend your joining Signa Phi Nothing. The only thing I recommend in this column is Marlboro cigarettes, as any honest man would who likes a filtered cigarette with an unfiltered taste, who years to settle back and enjoy a full-flavored smoke, whose heart is quickened by a choice of soft pack or flip-top box and who gets paid every week for writing this column.
But if you should join Signa Phi Nothing, let me give you several warnings. First off, it is the only fraternity that admits girls. Second, there is no pledge period; each new member immediately goes active. Perhaps "inactive" is a more accurate term; there are no meetings, no drives, no campaigns, no sports, no games, no dues, no grip, and no house.
The only thing Signa Phi Nothing has that other fraternities have is a fraternity hymn. In fact, two hymns were submitted
It is difficult to think of any reason why you should join Signa Phi Nothing. Some people, of course, are joiners by nature; if you are one such I must tell you there are any number of better organizations than Signa Phi Nothing for you to join—the Mafia, for example.
to a recent meeting of the national board of directors (none of whom attended). The first hymn goes;
Mother's making blubber soup.
A road is a lane,
The second hymn is considerably longer:
Hotcha, boop-boop-a-doop,
A Guerasey's a cow,
When you're eating chow,
Pending the next meeting of the national board of directors, which will never be held, members are authorized to sing either hymn. Or, for that matter, Stardust.
Perhaps you are asking why there should be such a fraternity as Signa Phi Nothing. I will give you an answer—an answer with which you cannot possibly disagree: Signa Phi Nothing fills a well-needed gap.
Remember the mein!
Are you suffering from mental health? Is logic distorting your thinking? Is ambition encroaching on your native sloth? Are your long-cherished misapprehensions retreating before a sea of facts? In short, has education caught up with you?
If so, congratulations. But tell the truth—wouldn't you like to make an occasional visit back to the good old days when you were not so wise and composed and industrious—when you were, in fact, nuttier than a fruitcake?
If you pine for those old familiar miasms, those dear, dead vapors, join Sigma Phi Nothing and renew, for a fleeting moment, your acquaintance with futility. We promise nothing, and, by George, we deliver it! © 1961 Max Shulman
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We, the makers of Marlboro, promise smoking pleasure and we think you'll think we deliver it—both from Marlboro and from our new unfiltered king-size Philip Morris Commander. Welcome aboard!