UNIVFRSITY KANSAN.
LAWRENCE, KAS., MARCH 28
THE PLUMBER-MAN.
[A and but true story, as related by Thomas Tud, a small boy, to his friend, Charley Biogson. Done into rhyme for the Cincinnati Literary Club]
The Plumber man came up to plumb
My uncle's pumph, in town.
First place, he torre the cullar up,
Then torre the gurret down;
And then he told us with disgust
That mary one the pipes was bast.
He jumped into his burry quick,
And that he drove away.
But put back, with a load of tools,
Another man, next day,
Named Ie, who brought along with him
An oney boy called Warty Jim.
This Lie he pumped and pumped the pump;
the boy ponied water in;
The man kept jawing at the boy;
the boy jawed back up;
Then both sat down and ate a snack,
before they took the wagon back.
Next week the boss he came along,
and at the pump he treasured.
He sent me for the movie wrench,
White he went wound round,
And pried the mantle pieces out,
And he macered off the water spout.
Bluntly he hurried off and sent
Three Dutchmen and some wire.
We were trying to move away and made
a smoky choreal fire.
When they had smoked their pipes, *their*
Took up that stove and went away.
Well; after that, I recollet
a chap with *soldier* came;
And then a tired colored gent
Who brought more of the same;
Then up this like he came over more
And at the other two he swore.
The loses then ride up, with his boy
That oneyee, sassy gump;
He said there was no other way
But buy a brand new pump;
But uncle looked below the sink
And found the leak as quick as wink.
And uncle took a piece of rug
And tied it round the leak.
And then the pump was all O. K.
But in about a week
The Pump had run in his bill.
Six Hundred Dollars and one mill.
W. H. Venable in Cincinnati Commercial.
O'Hern & Woodruff. Groceries.
Call and get our rates to Clubs. Lowest in the City.
Prof. Samuel Wade.
Prof. Samuel Waeu.
33 Years Experience.
Equaled by Few.
Excelled by None.
Hair Cut and Shave 25cts.
Six Shaving Tickets for 50cts, or
12 for a dollar.
THE BARNES HOUSE.
1913 New Hampshire St.
Choice Rooms to Rent
Board by Day or Week. Students Patronage Cordially Solicited.
GROSS & BARKER
:: THE BIG :-.
Barber Shop.
814 Mass. Street.
Students Trade Solicited.
JO·HE.
If the readers of this article imagine from the heading of this article that they are going to read the history of an oriental "John," reveling in his opium den or wash-house they can banish such ideas, for the name is decidedly American being patented to prevent imposition and fraud in imitating the natural remedy that is regarded by thousands all over the Union as the greatest discovery in medical science of the century. The name is the reversal of the first two letters of the given and surname of the fortunate discoverer, Henry Jones. Four years ago Mr. H. B. Jones discovered on his farm in Washington county, Texas, a spring of oil flowing from a mass of petrified wood and moss. It is of dark color, heavy constituency and emits an offensive odor. It partakes somewhat of the nature of crude petroleum and is very penetrating, reaching the seat of any desease that flesh is heir to and is a soothing and healing balm in cuts, burns, scalds and all skin deseases. It is highly magnetic and electric, and, if we are to judge human testimony, it never fails to give both relief and cure. Mr. W. P. Bayes of St. Louis is general agent for the states of Missouri, Arkansas, Illinois and Kansas and is rapidly establishing agencies in all the prominent cities of those states. Already Kansas is represented by offices at Leavenworth, Topeka, Independence and Lawrence, every one of which is meeting with wonderful success. So confident of its merits are the proprietors, that they give free applications at their various sanitariums to convince the incredulous public, and if Lawrence is a sample of the public confidence in its merits, Jo-He has thousands of votaries. We found the office and application rooms crowded with patients waiting for treatment. The oil is put up in hermetically sealed cans and enough oil of sassafras is used to counteract the natural odor of the oil and render it pleasing to the smell. The Lawrence branch was only established last January and now it is crowded with eager patients who give flattering testimonials of the value of the wonderful oil. The proprietors will guardenete a perfect cure in any case where the oil can penetrate to the seat of the disease and they have yet to find the first disease where that cannot be done. They have already effected thousands of cures accounted miraculous and are piling up testimonials from people of unquestioned veracity all over the union in endless quantities. The agent here will be pleased to give free applications to those who want to give it a trial. From present indications the discoverer of this wonderful remedy will be remembered by future ages for giving to the world a remedy to which thousands owe their lives. Nature does wonderful things in her wonderful interior laboratory, but she yet has to produce anything to compare with the wonderful oil, Jo-He. Write the agent at Lawrence for information and give it a trial.
WILDER BROTHERS, SHIRT :: MAKERS,
And Gents' Furnishers,
Lawrence,
Students and everybody will do well by calling on us and be fitted out in Shirts and Underwear that have been made to order for parties and not taken. You can buy the Finest Good for one-third the regular price.
Kansas.
Work called for and delivered. Tele phone 67.
Patronize our Custom Steam Laun dry for nice work and low prices.
McConnell
Has the Largest and Best SELECTED STOCK Of SPRING and SUMMER Suitings, Pants Goods, Ete, IN THE CITY. A Liberal Discount to Students
A Liberal Discount to Students
DONNELLY BROS.
Corner New Hampshire and Winthrop Streets.
Livery, Feed and Hack Stables.
Special Rates to Students.
TELEPHONE No. 100.
C. E. ESTERLY, D. D. S.
DENTAL -:- ROOMS,
Over Woodwad's Drug Store.
CASH Grocery.
If you notice carefully you will see that we are still too busy to write up an add, but we have the finest line of GROCERIES in Lawrence nevertheless.
H. Winnie.
-DEALER IN-
Groceries and Merchandise,
Stationery, Pens, Ink, Pencils, School Supplies, etc.
No. 1300 Massachusetts Street Corner of Lee Street,
LAWRENCE. KANSAS.
WILLIS
Da Lee's Photograph Gallery,
South Tennesse Street.
Special Attention to Students.
STUDENTS!
Buy your Bread and Cakes
Buy your Bread and Cakes of W. L. ANDERSON. He will give you the best quality at lowest prices.
CHAS. HESS.
MEAT MARKET.
Call and get our rates to Clubs.
Satisfactory prices and firstclass meat at 937 Mass St.
MERCHANTS NATIONAL BANK The Bank with the Town Clock.
And Finest Hall in the City for Parties.
STUDENTS INVITED TO CALL.
R. G. JAMISON Cashter.
BOOTS AND SHOES Made and Repaired BY-
J. F. WIEDEMANN.
Second Door east of Poehlers Grocery.
WM. WIEDEMANN, Manufacturer and dealer in
FRUITS AND NUTS.
CONFECTIONERY!
And manufacturer of
Pure Ice Cream and Fruit Ices A specialty.
Parties supplied on short notice.
Fancy and Staple Groceries,
N. H. GOSLINE,
803 Massachusetts Street,
Lawrence. Kan.
A. P. FELLOWS, D. D. S.
921 Mass. St.
Dental Office
OVER WHITCOMB'S.
Office Hours 8 to 12, and 1 to 6.
DAVIES,
The Students Tailor, Will make you a Suit cheap and Guarantee Satisfaction.
923 Mass.Street.
Over Straffon & Zimmermann.
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