Woodward has Young's Superior Perfumes. A new and choice line.
UNIVERSITY TIMES.
Published every Friday morning by the TIMES COMPANY.
E. M. MUMFORD, JUS D. BOWERSOCK, JR.
President. Secretary.
Editorial Staff.
F. E. REED, Editor-in-Chief.
Associate Editors.
W. D. Ross,
F. C. Schrueder,
C. S. Hall,
W. S. Swank,
Gertrude Crotty,
Anna McKinnon,
D H. Spencer,
F. Webb,
A. Fulerton,
Fred Funston,
Emma Bartell,
W. P. Harrington.
Business Managers.
F. W. BUTLER, WM. HILL
Entered at the Post Office of Lawrence, Kansas, a second-case matter.
UNIVERSITY DIRECTORY.
BETA TRETA P<sub>1</sub>, meets on fourth floor of Opera House block.
PHI KAPPA Paeli, meets on third floor of Opera House block.
PHI GAMMA DELTA, meets in the El-
dridge House block, third floor.
PHI DELTA TRIETA, meets on second floor of Opera House block.
o of the
SOMA GIrl, meets on the fourth floor east of the Opera House block.
SIGMA Nu, meets in the Eldridge House block, third floor.
Pt BETA PHI, meets every Saturday afternoon at homes of members.
KAPPA KAFPA GAMMA, meets every Saturday afternoon at the homes of members
KAPPA ALPHA THEA, meets every Saturday afternoon at the homes of members.
BASE BALL ASSOCIATION. Manager, Prof. A. M. Wilcox; Capt. of the Nine, Charles Voorhis.
UNIVERSITY SCIENCE CLUB, meets in Snow Hall.
PHILIOLOGICAL CLUB, meets in room No.
30 every other Friday at 8 p. m.
TENNIS ASSOCIATION, President, F. E. REED; Secretary, F. H. Kellogg; Treasurer, W. A. Snow.
SCIENCE CLUB, every other Friday at 8 p. m.
OROPHILIAN LITERARY SOCIETY, every Friday at 8 p.m.
POLITICAL SCIENCE CLUB, every other Friday at 8 p. m.
ATHENAEMUM LITERARY SOCIETY, mects every Friday at 8 p. m. W. D. Ross President; Fred McKinnon, Secretary
FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION, meets every Saturday for practice. C.S. Hall, President; Chas. Wright, Secretary; Schields and Wixon. Captains.
Y. M. C. A. meets every Friday evening at7:30, Room 11. President, L. T. Smith; Secretary, R. D Brown.
W. Y. C. A. meets every Friday evening at
Newton; Secretary Anna McKinnon.
Newlin; Secretary Anna McKinnon.
Executive Committee—E. M. Muntford Chas. Voorhis, Fred Liddke.
ORATORICAL ASSOCIATION of the Students of K. S. U. L. T. Smith, President C. P. Chapman, Secretary
We are especially indebted to Paul Wilkinson for taking entire charge of this issue of the TIMES.
GARFIELD University still has declamations commencement day.
"The Annual will contain over fifty cuts, and a great many slashes," so say the knowing ones.
The Washburn Reporter shows good taste by copying Perley R. Bennett's poem, "The Junior Stood," from the Sunflowers.
The Sophomore class is the only class in the University that has never organized. It also has the best grades of any class.
A man who is good at puns says that if the year at K. S. U. were to be cut out of the college papers it would make a first rate scrap book.
Sunbonnets are the proper head wear for K. S. U. young ladies. It is said there is nothing looks prettier than the interior of a pink lined sun bonnet when occupied by a nymph of Mt. Oread.
When the Green Gits Back.
When the Green Gits Back.
In spring when the green gits back in the trees,
And the sun comes out and stays.
And yer boot pulls on with a good tight squeeze,
And you think of your barefoot days;
When you ort to work and you want to not.
And you and yer wife agrees
It's time to spade up the garden lot—
When the green gits back in the trees—
Well! work is the least of my ideas
When the green, you know, gits back in the trees
When the green gits back in the trees, and bees
Is a-buzzin about sgm,
n that lazy, "go-as-you-please"
Is a-buzzin' aroun' again,
Old gait they bum roun in;
When the groun's all bald where the hay
rick stood
And the crick's riz, and the breeze
Coaxes the bloom in the old dogwood,
And the green gits back in the trees,
I like, as I say, in sich scenes as these
The time when the green gits back in
the tress!
When the white tail-fathers of winter time
is all pulled out and gone!
Is all pulled out and gone!
And the sap it thaws and begins to climb,
And the sweat it starts out on
A feller's forerrd, a gittin' down
At the old spring on his knees—
I kind o' like jest a-loaterin' roun'
When the green gits back in the trees—
Jes' a-potterin' round as I—durn—
please,
When the green, you know, gits back
in the trees
James Whitecomb Riley.
With considerable fear and trembling we approach the much mooted "Gymnasium question," with a lawn mower. While the idea of gaining sufficient exercise from the daily ascent of the bill, and also the proposition of students building a gymnasium themselves, or of keeping a private one, are both received with no enthusiasm by the student body of the University, yet we can assure those who are wasting away, body and mind, for want of exercise, that the patriotic citizens of Lawrence and the beneficent members of the faculty will gladly furnish them with abundant opportunities for mowing lawns this spring, during any spare moments the student may have.
We very much deplore the lack of backbone which the Juniors exhibited last Friday in shirking the responsibility for a deed which, if properly executed, would have been a legitimate contest between the Juniors and Seniors. But no; one or two of the cowardly ones must press into service some Preps who, ignorant of the first principles of gentlemen, could not behave themselves fittingly in the presence of ladies, but must fight and squabble as if they were being ground to earth under the iron heel of bloated bondholders and soulless corporations. Then the next day these same cowardly Juniors must propose to all of the Juniors, even those who were absent from the insurrection, that they wear boquets, which were sneaked away by Preps, in commemoration of a victory of the Juniors over the Seniors.
THE host of University friends of Prof. P. D. Aldrich will be pleased to learn that he has just accepted an $1800 position in Utica, N. Y. While in connection with the University of Kansas, Prof. Aldrich was known as a faithful and conscientious worker, and a gentleman of the highest musical ability; and since removing to the East he has rapidly risen in his profession.
The Typewriter
No other mechanical invention of this age has come more rapidly into general use and popularity than the typewriter. The pen written business letter has become the exception. The wise author has his matter carefully copied on a machine before he sends it to the publisher. The foolish author still clings to that scragggy style, of penmanship, closely resembling the tracts of a perambulatory hen which is supposed to go hand in hand with genius; but he chiefly reaps rejections and bitterness. A young and unknown author who writes any but the best of hands, improves his chances of acceptance fifty percent by submitting his burning words neatly written on a typewriter.
But the uses of the typewriter have their limit. It was only a few months ago that a Boston young man was promptly rejected when he proposed to a young lady with a typewriter letter. It served him right. The telephone is the very limit in these things. It was a Kansas City young man who rang up the object of his affections with the telephone while a hated rival, a youth from Topeka was trying to entertain her in the parlor, proposed, was accepted and ten minutes later sent a messenger boy around with the ring.
To become expert with the typewriter in original composition requiring much thought is somewhat difficult. After all, we doubt if good poetry can be written on the machine. Shakespeare could not have written "A Midsummer Night's Dream" on a modern typewriter; the tinkling of the bell at the end of each line would have annoyed him. Nevertheless he needed a typewriter about as badly as any one. Judging from his autograph it would seem that he must have figured pretty well toward the foot of the writing class at the Stratford-upon-Avon school. We suspect that it was a good thing for Shakes peare that he never tried to get his living by running a college of penmanship. Talents differ widely; Shakespeare wrote "Hamlet," yet his signature might frighten a timid person coming upon it suddenly. There are professors of writing in our "Business Colleges" who can make beautiful pen and ink birds and scrolls and capital "W's" and "H's" with feathers on their legs, still they cannot rhyme a couplet.
But above all the greatest drawback of the typewriter is, that it is sometimes too plain. Those of us who have not yet fully mastered all of the orthographic eccentricities of the English language, have a trick when writing a doubtful word of writing it poorly—of making the "a" which we have a lurking suspicion ought, perhaps, to be an "e" so that it will pass as either very well; and sometimes we slip a quiet, unobstructive dot over it so that if need be, worse coming to worst—it may slip in as an "i." This eases our conscience; there it is—if our correspondent calls it wrong it is his own fault. But alas, nothing of this kind is possible with the typewriter.
The German Department will give no examinations to those students, whose class grade is over 90 per cent. The plan should extend to all the University.
That the Phi Gam semi plugs are several degrees better than no hats at all.
That the girls look sweet in their spring dresses.
That some of the students have their eyes on Oklahoma.
They Do Say:
That certain students attended easter service at the Catholic church and came near being "fired" for talking between acts.
That it was very touching to see Harvey caress McFarland with a broom handle at the riot during the Senior party.
That several fraternity picnics are brewing, accompanied by the regulation amount of mosquitos, ice cream, colic and red ants.
That matters are comparatively quiet in the Trig. class since Wixson gat him hence.
That the new order of things regarding qualifications for admission to the departments of law, music, and pharmacy will create a rumpus in due time.
That some of the bloods are calculating how much money they will have to borrow to complete the term without serious ruptures with their respective landladies.
That the time is nigh at hand when wild and untamable strawberry shortcake will get in its deadly work on the unsuspecting prep, and send him to the Happy Hunting Grounds to the touching strains of "We shall meet on that beautiful shore."
That those students who never crack a smile and never say a pleasant word, and who pride themselves on their resemblance to a refrigerator, in the hope that they will be called dignified, will find that they are small potatoes and few in a hill when they come to battle with a world where sham dignity is soon found out.
That certain young ladies who are very nervous lest the young men should influence other young ladies in favor of rival fraternities, would do well to practice what they preach and remember that rip saws cut both ways.
In the last number of the Courier appeared an article taking for its text, "Be sure you are right, then go ahead," which would have been first rate if one could have avoided seeing behind it all the character and deeds of its author. The old fable tells us about "jewels dropping from the mouth of a toad." Burns was addicted to barleycorn, dissipation, and gems of poetry; Lord Byron, though dissolute, was the author of immortal stanzas.
The Phi Gamms have appeared in half plugs. While objection might be made to the style of the hat, certainly nothing but commendation can meet the action of the young men by seeking to distinguish themselves by a mark of fraternity spirit. If every class, or fraternity in the University should adopt some special hat, coat, or other mark of distinction, it would be a good thing.
The Review came out as an illustrated paper. It was a question, immediately after the publication of the March number, whether the staff would live to publish one at all.
GEORGE KENNAN, best known for his articles in the Century, lectured in Kansas City, last Monday night. on Russia.
STEWART O HENRY, who attended the University in' 79, but now of Colorado, will lecture at the last meeting of the Political Science Club, May 10. Subject, "Materialism in the Present.
SUBSCRIPTION book agencies are now engaged in addressing personal circulars to students, who "have been especially recommended to them" to get canvassers for "Dr. Chase's Family Receipt Book." And vacation draws on apace.
"I have lived with lawyers all my life. Being used to their ways and familiar with their tastes and inclinations, I know how to manage them and how to entertain them." That is what Mrs. J. W. Green claims, and 18 Senior Law students are ready to testify under oath and in the heat of cross-examination that Mrs. Green is, indeed, a first class manager and a royal entertainer of lawyers, no matter how embryonic they are. It was Tuesday night, April 23, A. D., 1889. Whist, euchre, fine lunch, conversation, pictures, lap-dogs, mind-reading by the prodigious Prof. J. W. Green and his illustrious assistant, Miss Wheeler, conspired to make the evening pleasant in the highest degree. The hour of the spirits struck before any of the young lawyers were prepared for it.
J. O. WORDEN was fired from his job as guide, because he went around with a book in his hand and gave the visitors the impression that he was an underpaid martyr who had just got settled down to study as they called, and who would like it if they would take the keys and look over the buildings for themselves. The Courier's insinuations that he was released as an offensive partisan, is an insult to the faculty; and the Courier, which was afraid to come out and make its charges, knows that it tried to create a false impression.
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Athenæum.
This society will meet to-night and present a regular program. As will have been noticed, the society has been assigned Saturday night, June 1st, on which to present its June program. No pains will be spared to make this event one of the features of commencement week.
To-night the following will be given :
To-night the following will be given:
Reading, . . . . . . E. S. Meade
Declamation . . . . W. D. Ross
Essay . . . . . Guy Sackett
Oration . . . . . A. Fullerton
Reading . . . . . Geo. Cook
Declamation . . . D. H. Spencer
Essay . . . . H. F. Deverell
Oration . . . . C. S. Hall
C
Bap
low
the
now
the
Debate: Resolved, That conscience is always a correct moral guide.
Aff. C. P. Chapman, Maud Tinsley.
Neg. F.C.Simpson,H.S.Hadley.
Every one is invited to this meeting, as an extra good program has been prepared, and only a few more meetings will be held this year.
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