Page 2 University Daily Kansan Friday. April 18, 1958 CROWD PLEASER—A Kansas Relays crowd a good throw. This event is typical of the thrills watches Kansas' shot put ace, Bill Nieder, get off the Relays will provide visitors this weekend. Welcome To The Relays This is a big weekend on the KU campus, the weekend of the 33rd annual Kansas Relays and the 39th annual Kansas University Engineering Exposition. The campus will be overflowing with the many visitors to the festivities and the participants in the Relays. This is a wonderful opportunity for KU to present itself to the many people unacquainted with the University. By being gracious hosts we can give to these visitors a favorable impression of our school. And it is important that these people receive such an impression. The two-day relays is one of the better and best known track events in the country. Some of the best track and field performers in the country are brought here to provide the sports-minded visitors with top quality performance. Year after year track fans eagerly await that day in April when they can journey to the KU campus to see this great sporting event. Many of the weekend visitors will be primarily interested in the engineering exposition. This exhibit is put together each year, with the visitors in mind, by the students of the various engineering departments. The exhibits this year will be centered around the theme "Frontiers of Engineering." Keeping pace with the present scientific developments, some of the exhibits will feature space travel with displays on missile development, human factors in high speed travel, construction of satellites, and rocket launching. Going along with the space age theme, the annual Kansas Relays parade will salute "Sports in a Scientific World." This parade provides another point of interest to the weekend visitors. All in all, this weekend should provide the many visitors with an interesting and entertaining weekend. The University has always tried and we are sure, will continue to try to make this special weekend one worthy of attending. To the visitors, we would like to give a hearty welcome. We hope they will find their weekend visit to the KU campus interesting, entertaining, and worthwhile. —Del Halev Letters To The Editor Too Far In The Daily Kansas for April 10, we note a filler item stating that aardvarks are not used as beasts of burden in North America. We have often condemned your paper for the maceuraces which it so frequently contains; but this, gentlemen, is going too far—a slur on aardvarks is a slur on us, and we don't like it. Aardvarks are used as beasts of burden in North America, and we can furnish incontrovertible proof in substitution of this claim. H. Sutjorborg's "Morphology of North American Aardvarks" states that a group of trolls in Sturbridge, Massachusetts has been using aard-varks in place of donkeys since 1903 and is still using them today. A runrunning friend of ours is at present using a brace of adult male aardvarks to snuggle pint flasks of whisky into Frankfurt, South Dakota. These two are descendants of the purebred racing aardvarks Theodore Roosevelt purchased during the trip on which he wrote "African Aardvark Trails." Each creature, so I am told, carries two pints per trip, and can make six trips in an evening. (Let's see, that's two times six is twelve, times two is twenty four pints at two pints to the quart is twelve quarts at four quarts to the gallon is three gallons. My! That's a lot of whisky.) We would also like to point out Perhaps there are no aardvarks now in use on the KU campus. But this is not the fault of the aardvark—the blame can be placed nowhere but on the shoulders of you and benighted prejudiced ignoramuses like you who would kow-toy to the vested interests of the infamous horse-burro cartel. Let us remember the words of Jean-Paul Sartre, who, in his "The Transcendence of the Aardvark," says "You may revile the aardvark, you may ignore him, but you can't write newspaper filler without him!" an incident which occurred during the 1936 convention of the Bellows Falls, Vermont, Academy of Arts and Letters. Dr. Crathorne Zetler, internationally famous expert on North American Tubulidentata, was waiting to deliver a lecture on the sex habits of aardvarks. Suddenly, from the sullen mob of undergraduates and long-horemen gathered in a ring at his feet came a snarling voice which snarled "Aardvarks are not used as beasts of burden in North America." Dr. Zetler leaped to a nearby chair and barked "Aardvarks are used as beasts of burden in North America and jolly good beasts of burden they are, too. Unless my memory does me a disservice they were introduced by the Potosi Indians of Central Iowa in the early Seventeenth Century. So there!" Lack In Languages Your Honor, the defense rests. George H. Edwards Kansas City, Kan. graduate student Editor: I should like to take this opportunity to commend The Daily Kansan on its synopsis of Dr. Birkmaier's talk. It is refreshing to see that some public interest is still being given to the study of foreign languages. It is unfortunate that most of the time the only individuals who lend much of their attention to discussions of the role of modern languages in our ultra-scientific world are instructors or departmental majors. Especially the scientifically and politically minded forget that ultimate scientific and political understanding over the surface of our "shrincing" sphere will be mediated through verbal communication. With the vast amount of publication in all fields of study, it is impossible for interpreters to produce reliable translations of all the current material and we certainly cannot expect other nations to convey their ideas to us solely in our language. The contemporary university undergraduate avoids the study of any foreign language if possible and devotes relatively little time to these few hours which may be required for graduation. Yet, it is possible to understand the student's point of view when he must suffer through a language course with an inadequately prepared graduate teaching assistant. Haven C. Krueger Wichita 1st Year Medicine Reply To Letter First, we would like to state that the editorial "we" is reserved for use of editors, and not for letter writers. The source of the information at The Daily Kansan's disposal is, of course, a trade secret, but let us say that our sources are impeccable. The reader has the choice of believing this writer, an admitted associate of rumrunners, or the students' own true-blue newspaper, The Daily Kansan. 1. H. Sutjorborg's book was originally written as a historical novel, and was published as a text on aardvarks only through a printer's error. Herr Sutjorborg is no more a morphologist than Ernest Hemingway. As a matter of fact, the book only mentions aardvarks as an unsuccessful experiment tried in Sturbridge—not used by "trolls," but used for "trolleys." Due to the opening of a new hydroelectric power plant in Upper Sturbridge and the consequent cheap electric power, the aardvarks were deemed impractical. 2. In respect to the rumrunning aardvarks of South Dakota, Mr. Edwards must have mistaken our meaning. We said beast of burden, not beast of bourbon. 3. The Bellows Falls incident, which we understand will be the subject of a new commemorative stamp issue by the Postal Department, was mass confusion from start to finish. Dr. Zetler has been discredited as an authority on Tubulidentata ever since James Joyce denounced him in "Ulysses." James Joyce's "Ulysses" was published in the unexpurgated edition. Joyce made no direct reference to Zetler, but J. Swansong Pilsner, the noted literary critic, has stated that the "single pork kidney," formerly thought of only as a sign of Bloom's infidelity, also may be considered a direct aspersion on the qualifications$ of Dr. Zetler—perhaps since "kidney" is an anagram of the Sanskrit word for Zetler. The aardvark was not introduced by the Potosi Indians, but simply introduced to them by a wandering Frenchman descended from the journey of Marquette down the Mississippi. That Frenchman later became the famous pirate, Lafitte. 4. On this point, Mr. Edwards has us. We cannot argue with Jean-Paul Sartre, possibly because we don't speak French. And we do have a member of the horse-burro cartel in our printing shop. His health hasn't been good since the introduction of the Model T, and we haven't the heart to tell him about the Forward Look. Dr. Zetler appeared to have been under the influence of some aardvark-carried whisky, except that we've already proved that they never carried it. The chap is due to retire next year, and plans to open a buggywhip factory with his lifetime savings. In the meantime, we let him carry on his campaign against aardvarks and the internal combustion engine. Alan Jones LITTLE MAN ON CAMPUS By Dick Bibler "FIRST CAMPUS COR WE'VE HAD TO DO ANYTHING TO ELIMINATE THE PARKING PROBLEM." Daily Hansan University of Kansas student newspaper nrweekly 1908, daily Jan. 16, 1912 nrweekly 1908, daily Jan. 16, 1912 Telephone Viking 3-2700 Extension 251, news room Extension 251, news room Extension 376, business office Member Inland Daily Press Association. Associated Collegiate Press. Represented by National Advertising Service, 420 Madison Ave., New York. N. Y. News service; United Press. Mall subscription rates: $3 a semester or $4.50 a year. Published in Lawrence, Kan. every second week. University year except Sundays and Sundays. University holidays, and examination periods. Entered as second-class matter Sept. 17, 1910. at Lawrence. Kan. post office under act of March 3, 1879. NEWS DEPARTMENT Olck Brown Managing Editor Larry Boston, Bob Hartley, Mary Beth Noyes, Malcolm Applegate, Assistant Manager, Martha Crowser, Jack Harrison, Assistant City Editors; Mary Alden, Telegraph Editor; Martha Frederick, Assistant Telegraph Editor; George Anthan, Sports Editor; Marc Jable, Assistant Sports Editors; Pat Swanson, Society Editor; Bon Miller, Picture Editor BUSINESS DEPARTMENT BUSINESS DEPARTMENT Business Manager Fed Winkler; Business Manager John Clarke, Advertising Manager; Carol Ann Huston, National Advertising Manager; Bill Irvine, Classified Advertising Manager; Tom McGrath, Promotion Manager; Norman Beck, Promotion Manager. EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT Del Haley ... Editorial Editor