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University Daily Kansan Wednesday, Jan. 8, 1958
Fable: The Bears That Threw Rocks, The Eagles That Didn't Even Care
Once upon a time there were no people on earth, just animals, and it was a very nice place.
There was a land called the United States of We-Don't-Care and another land called the Union of Do-As-I-Tell-You. The first land was inhabited by eagles and the second, by bears. There were other lands too, but their part comes later.
The bears received their land after a brief scrape with some bear nobility, and then spent their time making 5-year plans and being cantankerous. The eagles received their land after a turbulent, cold fracas with some eagle nobility, and then spent their time selling things, buying things on time and swindling the Indians out of all the bottom land.
The histories of both the countries were rather uneventful, except for some internal squabbles among the north and south eagles and an incident or two when one of the bigger bears kept eating some of the smaller bears. But these incidents didn't seem to hurt for the bears got bigger and the eagles got bigger. They got so big the earth didn't seem large enough for both of them.
One of the big differences between the countries was that the bears had gotten a later start than the eagles and so they went about their business in a much different way. They were determined to outdo the eagles.
Each animal nation acted disgracefully. The eagles spent most of their time talking about baseball, television, football, selling things, basketball, buying things, psychiatrists, sexy eagles, the problem of adjustment, and a funny-looking eagle named Marilyn Eagle, a movie eagle, who couldn't do anything but be Marilyn Eagle.
Most of the eagles thought thinking was the hardest thing to do and devised ways to avoid it. And anyone that thought too hard was called an egghead and had his wings clipped. This was a paradox. The eagles liked eggheads, but they didn't brag about them until after they were dead. So being an egghead in the United States of We-Don't-Care was a tedious thing because you had to wait a long time to be famous, and then you were never sure. The trouble was that
the eagles had so many eggheads that they didn't appreciate them, but that wasn't the case with the bears.
The bears were a big clodish group, except for a few shrewd ones. The shrewd bears realized that if they wanted to catch up with the eagles they needed more eggheads. So they just included more eggheads in the next 5-year plan. Then they got all the bears together and told them they had better like the eggheads. "Liking eggheads" was included in the following 5-year plan. Soon there were plenty of eggheads among the bears and they all said they liked each other.
After they got the eggheads the bears became rather nasty. They would walk over on their neighbors' lands and say, "We're your old buddy-boy"—a kind of protection racket.
One time they took over some land belonging to some prairie dogs and when the prairie dogs complained they just poured water down the holes. But it didn't matter. Everybody forgot about it when the bears kept changing the subject.
Things reached an incredible state after a while. The bears kept flexing their muscles and showing off their eggheads and the eagles continued devising ways to avoid thinking and saying, "Let Bill do it. He's a plain fellow, just like us." And they were right, he was—that was the trouble.
Soon the bears started throwing rocks at the eagles. The eagles ducked and giggled. This went on until a bear clonked one of the eagles square on the beak. The eagles got mad and heaved a bigger rock back and clunked a bear.
Well, to make a long story shorter, this went on until all the rocks were thrown and the eagles and bears were gone.
Then all the other animals came out of hiding, began rebuilding the earth, and took over what the big boys had left behind.
For a while everything was hunky-dory. Then one day a tiger threw a rock at a lion and the lion threw a rock at the tiger and the tiger threw a rock at the lion and ...
Moral: Animals are just as dumb as people.
Docking Again?
The battle of the state budget and the school budget in particular has for the moment overshadowed the forthcoming gubernatorial and congressional race in Kansas.
The Republican nomination for governor seems to be anybody's race, but the Democratic nomination has seemingly been settled by leaders of the party, and the governor himself.
Until nearly Thanksgiving time Gov. George Docking was not sure whether he would seek a second term in the statehouse. It was about this time that his personal advisers and friends in the party got together to change his mind.
They showed the governor that the possibilities for winning control of the legislature were better than ever and that the governorship was secure for Gov. Docking.
One of the main arguments used by Gov. Docking's friends was that Kansas is becoming more of an industrial state; the more industry, the more Democratic support, and the more support for the governor.
Gov. Docking must have liked the way these persons talked because he decided it best for himself and the party that he try again in 1958. It will be a while before he announces it, but the chances of his changing his mind are slim, one of the leaders says.
Another said the current school budget trouble would not seriously hurt the chances of Gov. Docking winning re-election this year.
He said that most Kansans aren't hearing as much about it as persons around the schools or the students. He also said voters would not be too upset over anything Gov. Docking does with the budget.
The meeting—or series of meetings, whichever it was—drew the conclusion that 1958 is the best year in the state's history for a Democratic sweep, or at least control of one of the houses and the governorship. It sounds good, and it must have impressed the governor.
With the NATO conference there has been more talk about giving the secrets of the atomic bomb to our allies. The reasons for this have been numerous. Some feel it would bind the smaller countries and the United States together.
Should We Give Our Secrets Away?
Bob Hartley
But is this true?
To give a small country the secrets of the atomic bomb would put the entire world at the mercy of any small-time dictator or unstable government. The whole world is a powder keg; all we need is someone to light the fuse.
It is bad enough when a small country through its own scientists gains the secrets of atomic power. We are in for trouble when some small country which is so unstable it is not able to carry on a decent scientific program has the secret.
Sweden has announced that she plans on testing an atomic bomb her scientists have developed. This country is stable enough, in that her scientists have had the opportunity to develop the bomb.
Other NATO allies may not be good risks.
It is one thing to supply a country with small arms, trucks, and tanks with which to protect themselves. There seems, however, to be assurance that the United States, England, Canada, and Russia have enough bombs among them to take care of any trouble. Should we have more in the possession of other countries? What insurance do we have that our allies of today may not be our enemies of tomorrow?
Let's keep some of our secrets.
KU's Answer Daily hansan
Lee Lord
So our fat, dumb and sloppy educational system is far back of the Soviet Union's, with the result that their scientists have developed an intercontinental atomic rocket, while our rockets fizzle even in the attempt to lift a tiny, pint-size moon into the skies.
So now, with magnificent timing comes the University of Kansas' announcement of a new School of Embalming—with professors in this "science" imported from distant Canada.
Is this to be the Jayhawks' triumphal answer to Sputnik? If Russian hydrogen bombs fry us, KU will embalm us!
— W. L. White in the Emporia Gazette
Dr. E. Raymond Hall, director of the K.U. Museum of Natural History, is vice president of the zoological section of the American Association for the Advancement of Science.
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Madison Ave., New York, N. Y. News service: United Press. Mail subscription rates: $3 a semester or $4.50 a year. Published in Lawrence, Kan., every afternoon during the University year except Saturdays and Sundays, University holidays, and examination periods. Entered on behalf of matter Sept. 17, 1910, at Lawrence, Kan., post office under act of March 3, 1879.
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