Page 2
University Daily Kansan
Monday. Dec. 2, 1957
Jerks Of The Week
We break tradition this week and name an animal group as Jerks of the Week. We thought this over carefully. We realize that animals normally cannot present their side of the issue, but the urgency of the moment compels us to condemn these cads.
The finger of condemnation points at those shabby individuals inhabiting the uppermost reaches of Dyche Museum—the KU pigeons. Their default shall go unrecorded. Suffice it to say they have erred. To err is human, but no one has to forgive a pigeon.
And while we are on the subject, we will list several points in these scoundrels' disfavor. Their outrageous conduct runs the gamut of fowl play.
Their lack of school spirit is notorious. While the students and faculty labor within these ivy walls these rude individuals apathetically flap their way, sans-culotte, from building to building. Have you ever seen a KU pigeon do one iota of work to further KU's cause? When game time rolls around and the team needs cheering, what are the pigeons doing? Cooing, that's what, and we're getting tired of it!
Their general attitude towards campus life is discouraging. Their ungentlemanly demeanor is legend. Have you noticed how the male KU pigeons leer at our coeds? It would put a third-year law student to shame.
Their inane lovemaking is immoral. Any male resorting to gutteral noises and pagan dances to impress his ladylove is half-witted and probably a Communist.
Anyone will agree that attending college is expensive, but there is no excuse for their shabby dress. Day after day they flutter their way over the campus clad in the same blue striped and threadbare feathers, worn to a frazzle. This makes a bad impression and several visiting dignitaries have been overheard commenting on their appearance.
If KU is to retain its distinction, these chaps are going to have to dress decently!
Pigeon hygiene has never been anything to brag about, especially if you are a gargoyle, but these uncourtly ruffians press the limits. Aside from an abysmal disregard of dirt, they make a mockery of us by seeding the campus with cooties. Our feelings were eloquently stated by Abner Terse, a local steeplejack, when he said on his deathbed: "Pigeons with lice, never are nice."
The solution is simple, these fellows are going to have to clean up their manners and their thoughts or out they go!
Vigilante action is the last result. If they don't comply we'll tar-and-put skin on them!
—John Eaton
Socks Replace Sympathy
As winter sets in, women are going to miss the sympathy and respect that men used to have for them during the cold months of the past.
It used to be that a man would look at those poor, frozen, blue legs and get choked up at the bravery and fortitude of the shivering female that trotted between classes, calves bared and raw from the wind.
Now, the knee-high socks have taken this away, and women will get no more pity as they pass small congregations of men on the campus.
How can one show emotion for a pair of thick knitted, black socks that cover the entire leg?
Now, women can amble between classes, paying no more attention to the bitter cold than the men do.
Hooded coats, mufflers, gloves, and now, these knee-high socks, men are becoming dubious about who's what—and should it have the door opened for it. After all, what's so special about an abnormal high pile of cloth?
Bill Farmer
Editor:
Letters To The Editor
About the first of November the KU News Bulletin announced the resignation of Chuck Mather and quoted him as saying, "Last night our staff, with deep regret, came to the conclusion that we cannot solve the football problems at the University of Kansas even by winning the next four games. Therefore we hereby submit our resignation."
If I remember correctly Coach Sikes left KU with tears in his eyes and compliments for KU. Has there ever been a coach at KU in the past
40 years that solved the problems in football to suit the gang that has too much to say about football at KU? If I remember correctly KU had many coaches while Bennie Owens was at Oklahoma about 20 years.
. . .
Hasn't KU had about ten coaches in the past 40 years, maybe more who didn't solve the problems in football? Suppose George Washington had been working for the KU alumni during the Revolutionary War. He would have been fired before he
LITTLE MAN ON CAMPUS By Dick Bibler
won the war. If Abraham Lincoln had been up for the votes of the KU sports crowd, his defeats would have kept him from being president. If Edison had been experimenting for the KU alumni on the electric light bulb, he too would have been fired before he discovered the electric light bulb.
I was in "Phog" Allen's basketball coaching class in 1922 when he said, "The sports crowd is fickle. You can win a game by one point, and they come by and congratulate you saying what a good game it was. But you may play a better game against a harder team to beat and lose it by one point and they go by with their heads down with no praise for the good playing of the boys."
"LOOK—IF I KNEW ALL THE RIGHT ANSWERS I WOULDN'T BE TEACHING!"
There has been sadness in the departure of so many football coaches at KU that the people of Kansas should take the control of football from the alumni, and give it back to the school authorities.
Roy Knapp.
White City, Ks. Class of 1917
Daily Hansan
University of Kansas student newspaper
bounded by become biweekly 1904,
triviera 1908, doria 1924,
european 1926.
Member Inland Daily Press Association.
Associated Collegiate Press. Represented by National Advertising Service 420
Maryland University's national service. United Press. Mail subscription rates: $3 a semester or $4.50 a year. Published in Lawrence, Kan., every after-
season. On Saturdays and Sundays, University holidays, and examination periods. Entered as second-class matter Sept. 17, 1910, at
March 3-4, 1879.
Telephone Viking 3-2700 Extension 251, news room Extension 276, business office
NEWS DEPARTMENT
Short Ones
Bob-Lyle
Management Editor
Mermis, Jim Ringer,
Brown, Ray Wingerson, Assistant
Managing Editors; Bob Hartley, City Editor;
Patricia Swanson, Lee Lord, Assistant
Counselor;
graph Editor; Nancy Harmon, Assistant
Telegraph Editor; George Antoneau, Malcolm
Applegate; Sports Editors; Mary
Crocker; Martha Crocker,
Assistant Society Editor.
BUSINESS DEPT.
Harry T. Trett Business Manager
EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT
The United States has finally beaten the Russians. Just think, an inter-planetary B-B gun.
Larry Boston Editorial Editor
Joshua Elsay DeL Haley, Jim Sledd. .
Associate Editors.
A woman's idea of keeping a secret is refusing to tell who told her.
They have a new deodorant now,
called Vanish. You put some on
and disappear and no one knows
where the smell is coming from.
He who laughs last has found a meaning the censors missed.
College: A four-year loaf baked from the old man's dough.
Diploma: A sheepskin that a graduate uses to pull the wool over some employer's eyes.
"RING THE BELL FOR SERVICE"
Free Pickup
And Delivery
BELL'S
Service Station
23rd & Naismith—VI 3-9645
PLEDGES
!!
Now you can pick up house copies of the U.D.K. outside the Kansan Business Office, Flint Hall. Do so!
By appointment purveyors of soap to the late King George VI, Yardley & Co., Ltd., London
FOR A CLOSER ELECTRIC SHAVE
Conditions beard; helps tauten skin, counteract perspiration;
makes it easy to get a clean, close shave. $1.
bot am of cor Re:
In ave pati Cor sub wh sive stea
YARDLEY OF LONDON, INC.
Yardley products for America are created in England and finished in the U.S.A. from the original English formula, combining imported and domestic ingredients. Yardley of London, Inc., 620 Fifth Avenue, N.Y.C.