UNIVERSITY DAJLY KANSAN
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Official student paper of the University of, Kangas
Chas. S. Scurtevant...Editor-in-Chief
EDITORIAL STAFF
BUSINESS STAFF
William Cady...Business Manager
Cust. Starvure...Adv.. Manager
REPORTORIAL STAFF
Paul Brindel
Don Davis
Ralph Hahn
John Gleissner
Harry Morgan
Guy Scrivner
Cargill Sproull
Glenn Swogger
Vernon Moore
Subscription price $3.00 per year in
advance; one term, $1.75.
Entered as second-class mail mails
from the office of law enforcement,
Kansas, under the jurisdiction of
the United States.
Address a. communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Lawrence, Kansas Phone, Bell K. U. 25.
Published in, the afternoon five
thirty, by the author.
Written by, Karnas from the dress of
Boston.
The Daily Kansan aims to picture the undergraduate Hite of our university further than merely printing the text on the University holds; to play no favorites; to be clean; to be cheerful; to be gracious; to leave more serious problems to wiser heads, in all, and to make sure that faculty the students of the University.
TUESDAY, MAY 2, 1916.
DOOR RICHARD'S ALMANAC.
POOR RICHARD'S ALMANAC.
Industry, Perseverance, and Fruiting.
Industry, Perseverance, and Frugal
itly make Fortune yield.
Tart Words make no Friends; spoon-
ing vodka is more like a gallon of Vinegar.
If you don't lose a troublesome visitor lend him money.
a GAIL institution or GV firm.
Bat you off with a troubleshooting VMITor
Ben Franklin.
WELCOME SCRIBES
The University, through its department of journalism, will this week play host to some of the most distinguished newspaper men of the nation. Arthur Brisane, considered by many the most powerful editorial writer in the country, Chester S. Lord, former managing editor of the old New York Sun and teacher of a score of successful writers, Roy Howard, head of the United Press, a self-made man who has raised his organization to the foremost among news-gathering associations, Joe Mitchell Chapple, editor of the National Magazine, and a score of other modern super-pens, who are directing the policies of American journalism, will all be here. The week will be the opportunity of a lifetime, for students of the University to hear and see these men. The wise ones will avail themselves of the opportunity.
National newspaper week will be watched all over the country. The reports of its sessions will be read in offices from one end of the nation to the other. For one week the University of Kansas will be the center of interest for the entire publishing trade. It is a big opportunity and K. U., as Kansas institutions have a way of doing, will make good. Every student in the University should consider it a part of his duty to see to it that the visitors are made welcome.
The old idea that to be a typical college chap one must be a follower of Omar Khayyam is rapidly passing.
THE LITTLE THINGS
A student took down the periodical index for 1914 from the periodical reference shelf in the library, and started to look up the bibliography for President Wilson. The last "W" index pages had been torn off by careless handling.
The last few pages having been torn out, the index was worthless for the last four letters of the alphabet.
It's the little things that count.
Think of the fellow who can't find his collar button when dressing for the dance. Surely the little things do count.
THE COMING OF BILLY SUNDA
It is with mixed feelings that the Kansan views the coming of Billy Sunday to the University of Kansas. Sunday is a great man, in his place, and is undoubtedly a force for good in the United States, but is his place in the forum of a University? Will the Sunday sensationalism have its desired effect on the students of Mount Oread? Is it fair to expect a University, the home of culture and intellectuality, to receive an emotionalist with equanimity?
Much will depend on what Mr. Sun-
day says and does when he talks in
Johnson gymnasium Thursday morning.
If he takes his audience into consideration and follows the cardinal principle of public speaking in suiting his words and his actions to the mental plane of the people whom he is addressing he will be successful. If he does not and attempts that ultra-sensationalism, both in speech and gesture, which has made him the best newspaper copy in the United States, he will fail. It is safe to assume that the University does not possess an atmosphere which will take kindly to such statements as: "Td like to see the color of the buck's hair that can dance with my wife! I'm going to monopolize that hugging for myself."
And this: "You stand there and watch your wife folded in his long, voluptuous, sensual embrace, their bodies swaying one against the other, their limbs twining and entwining, her head resting upon his breast."—
No. K. U. banished such smut when it killed the "Sour Owl." The end does not justify the means.
What has become of the old oj-fashioned girl who folt it an insult if her escort failed to bring flowers when taking her to a dance?
THE TAFT STOCK
The Christian Science Monitor tells of William Howard Taft's activities while at Yale. Two stories told, illustrate the big American in the making:
Professor William H. Taft has just been telling a Massachusetts audience how his father, when a lad working on a Connecticut valley farm, complained to his father that the stubble in the fields hurt his bare feet. "Stub 'em down, Alphonso, em 'down," said the Spartan parent. The disciple instructed him. "In all it tilted the walked down to Yale and began to study in an institution that then was conducted simply and without any social accessories or organized athletics. Later, when the son William went to Yale and was wanted for the crew, the father, Alphonso, refused permission. "I did not send you to the university." "What would get an education," was his decree. So the future President attended strictly to business; and he never has been sorry that he did.
Jayhawk Squawks
How we hate to accidentally split an infinitive!
A shine is a process whereby we mute one or more ones last until the turn on of Oxytone on Oxford.
In the same paragraph we read that the "prison officials considered Bissel a pervert of the lowest order," and that he was "about to receive a prison sentence" and consider our admiration for our criminal system, but it is pretty hard.
A library is a place where, by perforating your soul, mortgaging your life-insurance and presenting recommendations from your mother-in-law, you may get a book, if it isn't the one you want.
You can't always tell by the way's
inside. You can tell by the cylinders there
in his automobile.
Economy note—Boys who intend to go to K. C. to have a good time and hear B. Sunday, should save money by hearing Billy first.
Why all this noise because Daddy Miller tells a joke ten years old? Many a prof has a more venerable one than that in his collection.
What we need is not essays on What Christianity, but a few illustrations
Among other summer complaints are chigger-bites.
"That Blue Ribbon bread ought to be pretty good," said Mr. Guzzler. "I like their other products."
"Yes, some students speak Engl-
ish like natives - worst, almost."
If the average story were as funny to the audience as it is to the teller, we'd all be Mark Twains.
Among other apparel which doesn't last long enough, are shaves.
FOUND IN A BOOK
"I remember him as if he were yesterday, as he came plodding to the inn door, his sea-cheetah following him in a nut-brown man; his tarry pig-tail falling over the shoulders of his soiled blue coat; his hands ragged and scarred, with black, broken nails; and the skinny one check, a dirty, livid white."
-G. S.
A Corner for the Library Browser
*treasure Island*" is in Spooner library and may be checked out forends
Elizabeth Akers Allen was born in 1832. The following poem has been extremely popular, having been set to music. This is one of the songs which Longfellow said gush from the heart of "some humble poet."
POET'S CORNER
Backward, turn backward, O Time (p
down)
BACKWARD, TURN BACKWARD
Take me again to your heart as of yore
Kiss from my forehead the furrows of
my head
Make me a child again just for tonight,
Mother, come back from the choless
Smooth the few silver threads out of my hair;
Over my slumbers your loving watch keep
Rock me to sleep, mother—rock me to sleep.
without recompense, tears all in vain
vain—
we care and we cry our pain.
I am so weary of toil and of tears—
Toll without recompense, tears all in
Backward, flow backward, O tide of the vea.
I have grown weary of dust and decay—
What grade did you make in yesterday's quiz? Try the following you may do better today. Grade yourself
away;
Weary of sowing for others to reap;
What D'ye Know
College politicians. Are a species.
Of grafter. Common in. Every.
University. And especially. Prevalent at K. U. The expert usually.
Starts in with his freshman. Year.
And. With the help. Of several
henneschers. Perfect for men. Organize.
The idea is to pat. Manage.
And then reap the spoils. To this end. The ticket is made out of.
Somebody's room. Or at Brick's.
Several months before. The election.
Is to be. Heid. Then the gang.
Begins to do. Gumshoe work. To get votes. The man who can deliver.
Thirty votes. Is offered a place. On some committee. The man who can deliver. Sixty. Is made chairman.
And the gang get the big grapes. And the president. And he appoints them to office. Thus the chairman.
Of the cap and广 gum committee. Who makes. They say. A dollar on. Every order placed. With him. Is one of the smooth. Birds who have worked.
The way to. Stop it. Is. To. Make.
All. Offices. Which. Necessitate.
The handling. Of funds. Elective and subject to. A careful audit.
COLLEGE POLITICIANS
Essays in Tabloid Tablets
rock me to sleep, mother—rock me to sleep.
1. Give an explanation of "Mardi Gras."
sleep. —Elizabeth Akers Allen.
2. Give an explanation of "Old Faithful."
4. Give an explanation of "Hyphenated American."
6. To what country is Brand Whitlock ambassador?
3. Give an explanation of "Adam's Ale."
8. To what country is Henry Van, Dyke ambassador?
7. To what country is Walter E Page ambassador?
5. To what country is Grat von
Hernstorf ambassador?
6. What is the color of Blend-Whit-
9. Explain the difference between diadem and diaphragm.
10. Explain the difference between feminist and effeminate.
CAMPUS OPINION
A prominent graduate of the University recently wrote the Board of Admiralty.
ARE YOU THE GUILTY ONE?
Communications must be signed as evidence of good faith but names may not be published.
"I am of the opinion that students must be the staples of the University by appointment statements
something like this—A student in the Art course from my town whom I believe, graduates this year, was quoted saying, "I love my Law Department was the 'sop' on the hill and that the Law students just loafed around and smoked cigarettes and pipes and did not have to worry about the lawsuit. I can get through the Law Department."
"When I was at the University such statemetrs were rife from the students of one department of conditions in another department of which they knew practically nothing, but believed by persons away from the University to whom he was sent, I know that as I students personally and conversed with them over their work at the University, I found in every instance a student who was there for business, and appreciated that he was equipping himself for life work, that he was required to cover more ground in his assistance than he could get done to his own satisfaction. I know the above was my experience and I personally know it was the experience of practically every student there, and the student who spreads such statements as the above referred to will always have been better prepared, course he is mastersing the heaviest and hardest one on the Hill, and that it taxes his ability to the limit to get the work."
Grad.
WANT ADS
FOR RENT—After September 1, modern house of twelve rooms midway between town and the University. Bell Phone 1823 W. 141-3.
FOR SALE—Visible typewriter, tabulator, backspacer and all modern improvements including two color ribbon. Monthly payments if desired. See it at 1220 Louisiana street or call Bell phone 14423. 1425-
LOST- Enameled brooch, pink blossom and green leaves. Prized as a souvenir. Return to Marie Buchanan, 1117 Kentucky. Phone 1934W, Bell.
CLASSIFIED
Book Store
KEELER'S BOOK STORE 389 Mass.
St. Typewriters for sale or rent.
New, used, and Stock supplies.
Paper by the bound. Quick book-
10c. Pictures and Picture framing.
MISS ESTELLA, NORTHURF., queus
messily caretted by bandage. 734. Phone
612-758-0091.
shee shee
K. U. SHOE SHOP Pentatomium is the best place for best results 1242 CHI
PHONE KENNEDY PLUMBING CO.
ISOLATE good paint Mazda Lamps. 937-
206-2125 MAZDA Lamps. 937-
206-2125
B. H. Dale, Artistic Job Printing
both phones 228, 1027 Mass.
FORNEY SHOE SHOP, 1017 Mass. St.
Don't make a mistake. All work
MRS M, A. M. ORGAN, 1321 Tennessee
taloring j
taling. Prices very reasonable
j
PROFESSIONAL CARDS
DR. H. L. CHAMBERS. Office over Squires studio. Both phones.
HARRY REDING. M. D. Eyer, eye,
face, finger. F. W. Baldwin. Phones. Bell 513;
F. W. Baldwin. U. Bldg. Phone. Bell 513;
G. W. JONES, A. M. M. D. *D. Disease*
*colony 1092* Ohio St. Pharmacology
*colony 1092* Ohio St. Phones 1081-
J. R. BECHETT, M. D. D. D. O. 833 Mass.
Both phones, office and residence.
A. C. WILSON, Attorney at law 743
Masa, S. Lawrence, Kansas.
DR, H. W. HUTCHINSON, Dentist, 391
Parkins Bldg, Lawrence, Kansas.
C. E. ORELUP M. D. Dick Ridgd. Eyx.
C. E. ORELUP M. D. Dick Ridgd. Eyx.
Glass work guaranteed. Successor to
glass work guaranteed.
Journalistic Bright Lights!
One of the big business concerns of Lawrence welcomes you to the city.
of Kansas and United States
If you have a few minutes to spare, come down and visit a few minutes with us.
Make the town yours while you are here and hurry back.
The Theo. Poehler Merc. Company
701 E. Henry
Lawrence, Kan.
This is a Season of Sport Clothes for Women
An Out of Doors Season. We Are Prepared.
Sport Skirts—in Checks, wide Stripes, Golfines and corduroys, or White Duck, Gabardine an dPique. Priced from $6.00 to $20.00.
The New Waists and Blouses
Sport Coats of smart lines—Jersey Cloth in the high Shades. Block Checks, with Contrasting Collars, Cuffs and Buttons. Boucle Stripes Black Velvet trim. Chinchillas in white or yellow. Golfines, in Rose, Blue, Yellow, Green.
Middy Blouses in a pleasing variety of models and styles.
Priced at $1.00 to $5.00.
In Silk, Net or Cotton
For every occasion—Sport waists of striped Voile or Silk, wide awning stripes, Tub Silk Stripes, Striped
Silk Hosiery at Every Price
Kayser's Marvel Stripe
Black Inglain Silk. The stripe below the garter
top prevents the silk from "running" Pair.
$1.25
Gotham Gold Stripe
Black and Colors are
guaranteed against
breaks or running below
the fastening. Pair.
$1.00
Phoenix Silk Hose in 20
shades. Every pair guaranteed at $1.00 and 75c.
Fiber Silk Hose in all
In plain shades or fancy
A STANDARD SLUG CASTING MACHINE
LINOGRAPH
PRICE $1800 EASY TERMS EFFICIENT SIMPLIFIED PRICE REASONABLE On exhibit all This Week at Journalism Headquarters, University of Kansas
Watkins National Bank [Capital $100,000 Surplus and Profits $100,000 The Student Depository
Conklin Fountain Pens
Non-Leakable and Self-Filling
Sold in Lawrence, at
F. B. McColloch's Drug Store 847 Mass. St.
THESIS BINDING
Engraved and Printed Cards
A. G. ALRICH
A. G. ALMERIC
Typewriter Paper 744 Mass. St.
PROTSCH The College Tailor