UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Official student paper of the University of Kansas
EDITORIAL STAFF
Chas. Sturtevant . . . Associate Editor
Zetha Hammer . . . Assistant
Mary J. Nelson . . . Assistant
BUSINESS STAFF
William Cady...Business Manager
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Cereal ...Circulation MFR.
Harry Morgan
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Charles Sweet
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Clapper Dan
Davis
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Gleissner
Entered as second-class mail mat-
ter or affixed to a law firm in
Kansas, under the laws of
Kansas.
Published in, the afternoon, five
thirty-seven years later, from the press of
very rare. Banksman, from the press of
very rare.
Address a. communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Lawrence, Kansas.
Phone, Bell K. U. 25.
The Daily Kansan aims to picture the undergraduate life of go further than merely printing the news by standing up to play no favorites; to be clean; to be cheerful; to be supportive; to leave more serious problems to wiser heads, in all. To authenticate the students of the University.
WEDNESDAY, MARCH 29, 1916.
Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
Mark Twain
July 4th, Statistics show that we
will have a record of the other days of the year put together,
in addition to last year's stock, that one Fourth of July per year
is now inandehate, the country has
MR. FACULTY MAN
Mr. Faculty Man, are you a thief?
I. Faculty am, are you a teacher?
Do not look so belligerent, for you may be obliged to own up to it.
If you are one of those who persist, day after day, in keeping your classes two, three, or four minutes over time, then read the first sentence again.
With forty students in the 'classroom, each one being held three minutes after the whistle blows the aggregate time appropriated by the professor is 120 minutes. That means a loss of two hours for the members of the class as a whole. The students in that class may be held over in one or two other classes during the day. Is that justice? If the University meant to continue class fifty-three minutes instead of but fifty, it would so arrange the schedule.
Strange as it may seem, the very professors who so conscientiously insist that all quiz books be turned in the instant the whistle blows, during an examination, are often the ones who flagrantly violate prompt closing, during an ordinary recitation or lecture.
Mr. Faculty Man, are you guilty?
But perhaps Mr. Faculty Man has a case; perhaps there is some justification for his lengthening the class room hour. The Campus Opinion columns of the Daily Kansan are thrown open to him. The students would gladly remain the extra few minutes were they shown the exten-uting circumstances.
Some one at Missouri has actually had the nerve to suggest a moral requirement as a prerequisite for graduation!
"OH, THAT'S PERFECTLY LOVELY"
It is time some literary genius should weave a story from his mental fabric that will make the speech of the college woman as immortal as that of the college "fellah," for the speech of the college woman is the most wonderful in the world, as the following examples will show.
Two girls were talking about a certain man of their acquaintance and one of them remarked that he was funny. "Yes, he is," the other replied, "but he's nice funny." A woman in the department of journalism saw a paper folder in action for the first time, the other day. "Oh! can't it cute," she gurgled. Another woman described a pair of ten dollar white shoes as "perfect ducks" and at that she wasn't as inconsistent as her friend who remarked that John had a "sweet mountache." Among other rare word usages are, "spoof," meaning to tell harmless lies to one's gentleman friend, "kiss insurance," for listerine antiseptic, "the osculation corner."
for the porch swing, and a "cat fight," for a midnight serenade. Come on, literary genius, immortalize the speech of women.
IS IT TRUE OF OURS?
What is virtually a failure to distinguish University of Minnesota students and graduates from the ordinary world of college men is noticeable in the Minnesota Daily in an article reprinted in the Alumni Weekly. The alumni paper evidently regards the aftermath of its graduates as subject for discussion. It asks: "Why did you come to college? That you might make of yourself a more valuable member of society? If not you have to right here."
It continues in this strain remarking on the failure of its graduates to be of real benefit to their adopted communities after leaving the campus. As long as men can say that it is impossible to get college men to help at all in community betterment without payment, while others offer their services willingly, the University will suffer. As long as college breeds 'love of money' and selfishness, the
will be skeptical."
We wonder now whether the boot pinches us in Kansas. It is our pride that our college graduates are easily recognized by their community service, that they rise head and shoulders above the ordinary strata and give back to the state a life-time service. But do they?
"1919 basketball men out for practice," said a headline in the Cornell Sentinel.
Jayhawk Squawks
The Northwestern University wrestlers are so modest that they refuse to stage any contests if representatives of the opposite sex are permitted to look on. Allee samee K. U. basketball girllies.
The latest and most ingenious excuse for a concert by a university band has been sprung by the checkpuffers at the University of Idaho who announce a band concert to celebrate the passing of the smallpox epidemic that recently threatened the school.
Barnard College is atitude with excitement this week. The athletic board at Columbia has ruled that all games must be tested before the end of the week.
If an artist gets his canvas back is that a sign he's been hunting?— Awagwan.
"He met her in the leafy park, just as it was growing dark," ran a poem sent to the editor of a western college newspaper because she wasn't proper.
-E. W. H.
How much general knowledge has the ordinary K. U. student? Look over the following, and quiz yourself. The Independent gives the Germantown Friends' School general examination as follows:
THE MAN WHO IS WORKING HIS WAY.
It's the man who is working his way,—
He speaks when he passes you out on the street,
And he looks like a man for he stands on his feet,
And he's not very tall. But he faces
"his eyes face you steady, he knows no defeat,
1. The president of the United States?
Send the Daily Kansan home.
(In the manner of Shakespeare and Walt Mason). There's a man around college I'm happy to meet,—
the secretary of state?
3. The maker of the house of representatives?
It's the man who is working his way.
There's a man around college who believes the sun:
It's the man who is working his way—
And the whistle may blow, the referee call
"Time out." No. He's up! it's a goal, not a stall!
Round the end for a touchdown, too steady to fall,
Clear-headed, strong-hearted, the best of them all.
noticed some others whose manners are fine—
the flowers of the field do not spin—
And they're natyty, it's true, with faces that shine,
They do say that Algernon dances divine,
I wonder what's happened to Sadie Saline,
I don't like your face, but you've sure got some line]
What D'ye Know
4. The secretary of the navy?
The flowers of the field do not spin.
5. The president of Mexico?
6. The president of Mount Holy-oky
7. The president of Mount
It's the man who is working his way.
The Witches and Stuccor annotate a white, "Like lilies, white lilies are they—(They say that Alonzo has spent it with a pile. It's too bad his Dad had it on his trial; but boys will kill it; they say it's the style. He made a good start but he tripped the first mile; he made a good start but what the plan is.)"
MORE ABOUT EDEN!
General Perching's 'flying column' in its swift march over the Mexican desert may have revealed in striking style the weakness of organization and equipment, but it is equally revealed the high qualities of the American army—brains, 'pep' and physical condition. The Villistas, the watching friends of Villa and others who might have given information were skillfully thrown off the scent by the enemy, both in flight and on earth. Perching, who later slipped away and rapidly led his 'flying column' at the real chase of the bands at a pace said to break all records for similar conditions. The American army is the fine machine it has allowed to fly, and respects it may be, and certainly is in aircraft. Lax in guard duty it may be, as was indicated by Villa's surprise on the camp at Columbus. But when it comes to performing the ardour work of soldiering, there is a need to the witch that is quick up to the high point of the American regular."
There's a man around college who watches the ball.
The Mesopotamia Valley, up which the British expedition from the Persian Gulf has made its way, is, according to tradition, man's first—and last—paradise. But Tommy Atkins, toiling thirteen the sand under a blazing sun, fighting fleas and flys, as well as Turks and Arabs, did not find the country Edenic. One night when the troops were trying to sleep one soldier, they stopped by a cemetery ("Ere, Bill, if this is the Garden of Eden, I wonder what Adam and Eve did with these 'ere mosquitoes a-buzzn" around "em."
With the British troops marching through the Holy land, the much mooted question of the location of the garden of Eden is again brought to light. The Independent tells of what one British Tommy thinks about it as follows:
The Willies and Susies addern for a while,—
7. The president of Columbia University?
I make a good start but it is not quite that
I raise you, come on, what's the play?
I wish I could take a new broom that would sweep
the Willie and Splay away.
Much has been written of late concerning the American soldier and how he would stand up against the flower of European soldiery. The American army has been eulogized and condemned in various degrees of criticism. The Topeka Daily Capital says of the diminutive column under General Pershing;
the "Writies and Suns' awhy.
For the rest of us sleep
That sometimes the best of us mumble and peep
At the flash of the tinsel that shines, but it's cheap!
Thank God for the harvest your sickle will reap.
-WILLARD WATTLES.
Mister Man who are working your way!
BRILLIANT SOLDIERING
I've noticed some others whose manners are fine—
10. The European countries not engaged in the present war?
8. The Great Commoner?
9. The Jury Declares?
LOST—Small gold watch, Elgin move, hunting case, no crystal, on north courts tennis Wednesday afternoon. Please notify W.H.A. at 1312 Vermont street. Phone B. 1195W.
WANT ADS
LOST—A Sheafer fountain pen in
prenahra clapst last Saturday morning.
Finder please return to 1329
Ohio St. 120-3
WANTED—Men for summer work.
4.00 per day; 24.00 per week,
guaranteed. A good worker can
double that amount. Call C. E. Campbell at Hotel Eldridge, Saturday,
March 25, after 10 a. m. 120-3
WANTED—At once, four students to act as our representatives at the University. Only those meaning business need apply. Excellent opportunity to make a contribution commission. Oxford Specialty Co., Champaign, ill. 121-5.
YOU CAN buy a lot in "Bowersock
校区" place on your own terms.
M. J, Wells, agent. 704 Mass. Bell
396. 122-3*
The strangest of the occupations by which Harvard students earned money during the past year was by blood transfusion. Twelve men submitted to the operation, each one receiving ten dollars.
KEELEK'S BOOK STORE, 383 Mass
St. Typewriters for sale or rent
Typewriter and School supplies,
and Book Store
10c. Images and Picture framing.
WILL PAY good salary and expenses to right kind of party wanting summer employment. See "Employees at 1359 Ohio this evening." Advils. 121-5.
China Painting
MISS ESTELLA NORTHWEST JOHN,
Officer. Orders for special occa-
cions carefully handled. 758 Mass. Phone
Bell 152.
A mass meeting was held recently at Dartmouth to organize a battalion for military training. The plan follows be the same as Harvard is now using.
CLASSIFIED
Book Store
A college degree was once a great disadvantage to a man. Prof. E. C. Sherman of Ohio State University says that twenty-five years ago a possessor could not accept the fact his college degree quiet whenever he was looking for work.
ED, W. PARSONS, Engraver, Watch.
EWY. Bell phone 711. 717 Mass
phone. Bell phone 711. 717 Mass
Shop shop
K. U. SHOE SHOP for Pantatorium is
K. U. SHOE SHOP for best place 1242
1242
Sophomores in Colgate University are to be allowed to smoke only corn cob pipes on the campus and on the streets of Hamilton. This resolution was presented by the senior governing board to the upper class.
B. H. DALE, Artistic Job Printing
Both phones 228, 1027 Mass.
PHONE KDNNNE PLUMBING CO,
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Antonin Dvorak
Since 1917, Formney SHOE makes 1017 Mass. Don't make a mistake. All work is done by the company.
Dvorak is not a Russian; he is a Bohemian. But Russia and Bohemia are both Slavic and have much in common. And so Dvorak's music may rightfully fall under the Russian school.
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is best known, as is so often the case, by one of his most insignificant compositions—the popular "Humoresque."
MUR  M. A.; MOGGAN B51 Tennessee
touring. Ferry 93rd reasonable
touring. Ferry very reasonable.
For one theory in music Dvorak is especially known. That is his use of the folk song as a foundation on which to build serious musical works. And in most of Dvorak's music one may recognize the melodious folk-rhythms of the Slavic peasants.
The Shostac String Quartet Comes to Fraser Hall, Tomorrow at 8:15.
DR. H. L. CHAMBERS. Office over
Sources' studio, Both phones.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS
HARRY BEDING. M. D. Eye, ear,
face, nose. F. R. Ear, eye. Phones, Bell 613;
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Arizona State University
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800-742-6191 Phonerex
In 1892 Dvorak came to the United States. Here he put his musical theories to work, and taking the negro melodies as the American folk music, he produced several noteworthy compositions, the most important of which are "The New World Symphony" and the "American Quartette." The "American Quartette" which will be played here in full, on Thursday, is rich with color and melody and is especially interesting as the reaction of one of the Slavic race to American life and conditions.
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DR. H. W. HUTCHINSON, Dentist 2018
Perkins Bldg. Lawrence, Kansas.
A. C. WILSON, Attorney at law 743
Mass. St. Lawrence, Kansas.
C. E. ORBELUP, M. D. D. Dick Blidg. Eyx.
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I Only Wish
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Charles Richman in "The Man from Home"
TOMORROW
From pen of Booth Tarkington and Harry Leon
Send the Daily Kansan home to the itks.
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Shoes Shined 5c
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