UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
EDITORIAL: STAFF
Official student paper of the University of Kansas
Wibur Fischer, ... Editor-in-Chief
Chas. Survient, ... Associate Editor
Amanda Walker, ... Assistant
Zetha Hammer, ... News Editor
Miles Vaughn, ... Assistant
Rachel Schatz, ... Assistant
BUSINESS STAFF
William Cady...Business Manager
Chas. Bibertvieant...Adv. Manager
Mariana Bibertvieant...Adv. Manager
REPORTORIAL STAFF
Paul Brindel
Raymond Clapper
Guy Sawyer
Gary Sproull
Ralph Ellis
Charles Sweet
Raymond Ellis
Glenn Swinger
Missner
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Entered as second-class mail mail must be in lawful envelope, Kansas, under the authority of an awaiver.
Published in the afternoon five
thirty-five minutes after the
versity Kansas, from the press of
Boston.
Address a. communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Lawrence, Kansas Phone, Bell K. U. 25.
The Daily Kansan aims to picture the undergraduate at the University to go further than merely printing the text on paper. The University holds, to play no favorites; to be clean; to be cheerful; to be curious; to be aggressive; to leave more serious problems to wiser heads, in all, to make sure they authenticate the students of the University.
MONDAY, MARCH 20, 1916.
Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar
Mark Twain
Even the clearest and most perfect man should be careful to avoid damage at fault, after all, therefore ought to be relieved with great caution. The question then is whether by any woman; if you have witnesses about it, you should take the place of but if you simply take the aspect of the pench, you will may she did it with him.
WE LOST BUT—
Well, we lost! The old "Maloy Jinx" still seems to be with us and the Tiger missed having another knot tied in his tail in the indoor meet at Kansas City Friday night.
But it was a good fight, and Missouri had to fight as they have never fought before, to win the meet. Yes, the Jayhawkers were beaten, but they are good losers. Up to the last second of the relay no one knew who would be the winner of the dual meet. And it was Missouri who won the relay. So the Tigers went home rejoicing, while the Kansans, defeated but not whipped, came back to Lawrence.
THE LITTLE THINGS
The showing of the Kansas track team indoors indicated that the Missourians will have a little trouble on hand when they meet Kansas on the outdoor track. So let us watch our track men and root for them to revenge themselves for this last defeat.
Two men met the other day and were introduced. The next time they chanced to pass on the Hill each waited for the other to speak. They have forgotten each other by now, yet they would both have been better off had they continued the acquaintance so well started. It's the little things that count!
CARTOONS
Man believes what he sees. That is why one good cartoon is more powerful as a public opinion agent than page after page of the world's best editorials and news stories.
Thomas Nast drove Tweed out of New York with his bitterly personal cartoons. Tweed had laughed at The New York World's attempt to dislodge him through news and editorial methods, but he prophesied his own downfall when the Nast cartoons appeared picturing him as a bestial, filth, mud-crawling brute. It brought his character before the eyes of the people and it ruined him.
The trusts have to thank W. Davenport for a public awakened to the corporations' pet sins. He drew them as contemptible creatures with bodies inflated through sucking the earnings of the poor. He showed them with small bleary faces, without a trace of human kindness.
F. Opper, the originator of the famous Yellow Kid in the New York Journal, did not handle Tammany and its kind with gloved hands.
A year and a half ago Louis Raimekes, the Dutch cartoonist compromised the neutrality of Holland
with his war cartoons. In the March,
And his war cartoons. In the March, '16 issue of Current Opinion is reproduced one of his drawings from the Hague Telegraaf which is said to be one of the most forceful indictments ever made of war. A mother kneels beside the lifeless body of a half-grown boy. Behind her, two dead men sit limply propped against the wall. The woman has thrown back her head and is laughing flendishly.
This one picture brings home the horrors of war more vividly than any amount of war-correspondent stories.
THE TOURNAMENT'S OVER
The cartoonists pen is not only more powerful than the sword, but more powerful in its immediate results than any other pen.
THE TOURNAMENTS OVER "Boom, jiga, rah, rah! High School!! The high school basketball teams were in town. Didn't you know it? Surely amid all the noise and enthusiasm of the tournament, you knew that the high school boys and girls were playing for the basketball championship of Kansas!
The tournament is over, but the high school students have left with some impression of the University fixed firmly in mind. Perhaps they have a longing to attend our big school. But whether or no, they had a good time, and played and saw many good games of basketball.
And two happy crowds of people, teams and rooters, are carrying home the big cups of victory that are the proofs of their ability to play a fast, fair game of basketball.
Next year we hope to see these students back—either in the University or coming to the tournament with their high school teams.
MINING STUDIES
Tam: "How, I'm going to elow with Mia," Mr. Marrine said. "Mia, what is it my gart?"
Tom: "You take her mother aroun,
the loop in a street car while I go
to New York and back with Myrtle."
—The Widow.
1919: "Guess I'll help father make soap!" -Yale Record.
Prof: "Do you design to tread the intricate and thorny path of a profession, the straight and narrow way of working, or to mistaken the flowery fields of literature?"
"Gentleman," remarked the professor, "the general function of the heads of several learned members of this class is to keep their neckties from slipping off."—Harvard Lampoon.
19: "How long do you study each night?"
17: "Three hours, railroad time"
19: "Waddayemec, railroad"
19:
"17: "Including stops and starts."- Princeton Tiger.
First Post-Diluvian Youth (120 years old): "Damp weather, isn't it? I don't think I ever saw so much water on the ground at this time of day."
Second Post-Diluvian Youth. "Sht"
Second Post-Diluvian man of the
week. He gets him startled.
"Do you sleep out of doors in Winter?"
"In one of those sleeping bags?" "Yen!"
"I hear Willie Centipede is very sick."
"I suppose that's just another form of knapsack!"—Widow.
"Yes."
"Yes, poor fellow, he is on his last legs." - Widow.
Second Dark One: "No, she' enuf. What was it?"
F. B. D.; **Roll**, *Jerusalem*, Roli.
S. D. O.; "Do foe Lord!" Can't dem coons f'oget 'bout rollin' de bones even in church?" - Princeton Tiger.
F. B. D.: "Roll, Jordon, Roll."
To you I sing, in simple Scottish lays,
the lowly train in life's sequester'd
OUR FAVORITE POETS
My lov'd, my honour'd, much respected friend
No mercenary Bard his homage pays
With honest pride I seach each selfish
end,
My dearest meed, a friend's esteem and
The native feelings strong, the guille-
less ways.
Weyler found all on about him, set a price upon his head; Aguinaldo's crafty warriors filled him nearly full of lead. Yellow men and yellow fever tried to cut off his career. But since he first hit the war trail it has never slipped a gear. And the heart of all the nation gives a patriotic throb. At the news that Kansas Funston has again gone on the job. MONTAGUE.
What A... in a Cottage would hav.
been;
Couldn't make him look heroic with no end of golden braid.
Figure sort o' stout an' dummy, hair an' whiskers kind o' red;
But he's always move' forward when there's trouble on ahead.
Never any, style about him, not imposing on parade.
Five foot five vein an' danin', eyes pale blue an' steely bright,
Not afraid of men or devils—that is Funston in a fight.
Fighter since he learned to toddle, soldier, since he got his growth; Knows the Spanish and the savage—for he's fought and licked them both. Not much figure in the ballroom, not much hand at breakin' hearts, Rotten ringer for Apollo, but right there when something starts. Just a bunch of brain and muscle, but you always feel, somehow That he'll get what he goes after when he mixes in a row.
FUNSTON
Are you one of those students whose inevitable answer to "How's things going?" is "Rotten," or who never invented something, or never sees the bright side of things, always looking for the worst in everything or everybody? If you are, you are merely looking through smoked glasses and making sure you're seeing the right way. By your pessimism you are killing the ardor and enthusiasm of those around you; lowering their spirits and making mute-hills loom up like mountains. Your attitude might be excused but for this effect upon other
The fourth boy had scattering talents as much as any of the others. But he babbled a little with each. His sister was not in his vision. He had the making of mastery along several lines, but those several lines pointed away from instead of toward a center. He died obscurely at a church shire, and his work died with him.
SMOKED GLASSES
Smash your smoked glasses! Be optimistic! Then trouble won't worry you long and life will be more pleasurable. Don't get compliments with you—Syracuse Daily Orange.
The third boy, it was said, might have become a sculptor; a fine artist; a delicate musician; a great statesman. But he chose to guide the subterranean sunrise in literature. He sculptured great clouds of grand verses, and painted his sunsets in sonnets. And instead of rolling the organ notes through some old Gothic cathedral, he poured oil into his poetry. He was Browning.
Ah, thou his worth unknown, far happier there I ween!
I know!
"You have ruined her life, you shall not ruin mine!"
There were once four boys who were students. Each was talented in several ways. One could have become either a fairly great singer, artist, actor, scientist, writer, or public man. They were all moderately brilliant, and had promise for severe possible careers.
There are many who go all the way through college with the same aimlessness as the fourth youth. A year or so of cultural work at heat is spent, but it must be individually justed with its muster if there aren't to be over-supplies of the fourth kind of man—The Michigan Daily.
The first one threw all his fire, creative reasoning, energy, and comprehensive intellect into the natural sciences. He concentrated all his potentialities through years of study and experience. The result in his particular field was like the explosion of a ton of radium. The boy was Darwin.
The second directed his budding literary powers, his social graces, oratory, and tact into public life. He made the dry reports to Parliament read like fiction. He developed his colossal imagination into an unparalleled Great Britain. His concentration resulted in the glory of Diraeli.
"For our child's sake, Algernon!"
BREADTH AND SPECIALIZATION
Ah, the his worth unknown,
plier there I ween!
—Burns: "The Cotters Saturday
Night."
Stock Savings from Stock
"My God, what a fool I've been!"
"We cannot go on like this for-
more."
“Twenty years ago that man wrecked my life!”
"It all comes back to me now!"
"He lied to you; I never loved him!"
"Coward, you would not strike a woman!"—Yale Record.
ever!
"It all comes back to me now!"
Send the Daily Kansan home to the folks.
"She loves another!"
"My God. I shall go mad!"
"Curse him!"
JOST—Fountain pen with engraved gold band. Lost between Haworth and Ad. Finder kindly return to Kanan office of phone 240. 115-2*
KEELER'S BOOK STORE 929 Mass
St. Typewriter for sale or rent.
St. typewriter for sale or rent.
paper by the pound. Quiz books 5 for
0c. Pictures and Picture framing.
CLASSIFIED
ED. W., PAIKSONS, Engraver. Watch-
charts. Bell phone 717, 717. Masa.
Phone 800, 800.
MISS ESTELLA, NORTHRUP, china
MISS ESTELLA, NORTHRUP, china
carefully handled. 75.64 Phone.
carefully handled. 75.64 Phone.
LOST—Fountain pen with engraved
handwriting. Vernacular West
WANT ADS
Book Store
K. U; SHOE SHOP and Pantatorium is best place for best results 1247 OH
NUMBER
PHONE KENNEDY LUMBING CO.
PHONE MAXDA AND Mazda Lamps.
M35. Mass. Phone
M200. Mass. Phone
H. DALE, Artistic Job Printing
Both phones 228, 1037 Mass.
FORNEY SHOE SHOP, 1017 Mass. St.
don't make a mistake. All work
will be done properly.
Dressmaking
MTSU M. A, M. ORGANAM 1351 Tennessee
Turing. Involves a series of
turing. Prints very reasonable
prints.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS
DR. H. L. CHAMBERS. Office over Squires' studio. Both phones.
HARRY REDING. M. D. Eve, ear
fence, F. C. Vance, Phones, B13
Fence, F. C. U. Bldg. Phones, B13
Fence, F. C. U. Bldg. Phones, B13
G, W, JONES, A, M, M, D, D. Dilesson
oloratory 1880 St. Brice. Phone:
Realist
oloratory 1880 St. Brice. Phone:
J. R. BECHTEL, M. D. D. O. 833 Mass
both phones. Both offices and residence.
A. C. WILSON, Attorney at law 743
M.ass. St. Lawrence, Kansas.
D, H. W, HUTCHINSON. Dentas $308
Perkins Blägg. Lawrence. Kansas
C. E. ORLEUP, M. D. Dick Bldk.
Epyx
B. C. ORLEUP, M. D. Dick Bldk.
Epyx
Guest Succesion. Guest Succesion.
UNIVERSITY WOMEN!
We do Fancy Tailoring and Remodeling.
MRS. EDNAH MORRISON,
Bell 1154J. 1146 Tenn. St.
New Parisian $5
The Most Talked of Hat on the Hill
New, Popular, Distinctive
McCormick's $5 Hats
Mrs.
831 Mass.
Have you stopped in to look over our crepe de Chine flowers?
Why not this afternoon?
Side Roll Sailor
$5
Strange Hands Do Not Touch Blue Ribbon Bread
Now, when you're thinking of making a change, try Brinkmann's BLUE RIBBON bread—the bread that's made in Lawrence above the street level, in sanitary ovens and clean pans, and wrapped in germ-proof, moist-proof paper.
Only twice during the course from flour sack to wrapper do strange hands touch BLUE RIBBON bread—when the dough is weighed and when the loaf is wrapped.
Each slice is light and close grained, edged with crispy, browned crust that's delicious. BLUE RIBBON bread makes the butter better. We offer special rates to boarding clubs and fraternities. Step to the phone and call either Bell 501 or Home 366. Well understand.
BRINKMAN'S BAKERY
Auto Delivery Throughout The Day.
The Home of Blue Ribbon Bread.
933 Massachusetts.
Arrow Shirts—guaranteed fast color Sold exclusively by Johnson & Carl
THE FLOWER SHOP Bell 621 Flowers of Quality 825 $ \frac{1}{2} $ Mass.
Make your savings WORK, don't let them SHIRK, but remember,
SAFETY AT SAFTY Interviews, strictly private and confidential.
Interview(s), strictly private and confidential.
E. L. HILKEY, Investment Banker
55 Peoples State Bank Building. HOME 2202.
we do ladies' tailoring, also remo-
tulare for repairing. Wm. Schulz,
travels--Adv.
Lawrence Hat Works
833 Mass. St.
We Clean and Bleach Panama Hats for 50c Shoes Shined 5c
Old Hats Made New Hats Cleaned and Blocked 50c
FOR SHINES THAT LAST
and
GUARANTEED HAT WORK
Try the New
Shoe Shining Parlor & Hat Works
At 833 Mass. St.
Watkins National Bank Capital $100,000
Surplus and Profits **110,000**
The Student Depository
For the latest in commercial and society printing call on
Conklin Fountain Pens
A. G. Alrich 744 Mass. St.
Non-Leakable and Self-Filling Sold in Lawrence at B. F. B. McColloch's Drug Store 847 Mass. St.
PROTSCH The College Tailor
CITIZENS STATE BANK
We are handling all University accounts, and we solicit your business, deposits guaranteed.
707 Massachusetts St.
See Griffin Coal Company for Fuel.
Send the Daily Kansan home to the folks.
Coal Coal Coal A. C. GIBSON Both Phones 23. Deliveries
STUDENTS
SHOE SHOP
STUDENTS
SHOE SHOP
R. O. BURGENT, Prop.
1107 Mass. St., Lawrence, Kansas.
Work and Prices Always Right
We also Repair and Cover Parasols.
At Your Service
EXPERT BARBERS
College Inn Barber Shop BURT WADHAMS, Prop.
Typewriters
are sold exclusively in Law- rence by
Corona and Fox
F. I. Carter,
1025 Mass. St.
We have machines for rent and a full line of supplies.
LAWRENCE PANTATORIUM
Tel. 566 Bell. 12 W. Warren
2107 200 Cluett, Peabody & Co., Inc., Makers