UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Official student paper of the Uni- diversity of, Kansas EDITORIAL STAFF Wilbur Fischer...Editor-in-Chief Charles Burstant...Associate Editor Mary McCormick...Associate Editor Zetha Hammer...News Editor Miloas Vaughn...Assistant Brian J. Kelsey...Assistant William Cady Business Manager Christian Avantan Person Mgr. Circulation Mgr. REPORTORIAL STAFF BUSINESS STAFF Paul Brindel Raymond Clapper David Gargill Ralph Ellen Garrick Ellis John Glossner Harry Morgan Caryl Sproull Charles Sweet Michael Whitdey Lloyd Whiteside Subscription price $3.00 per year in advance; one term, $1.75. Entered as second-class mail mat- ter of office, Attorney General, of Lawyers, Kansas, under the Sanders Act. Published in, the afternoon five weeks after the arrival of the versity of Kannas, from the press of Boston. Address a1. communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Lawrence, Kansas. Phone, Bell K. U. 25. The Daily Kansan aims to picture the undergraduate life of more than merely printing the news by standing up for candidates; to play no favorites; to be clean; to be cheerful; to take care of students; to leave more serious problems to wiser heads, in all, to help unify the students of the University. THURSDAY, MARCH 9, 1916 Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar Mark Twain Why is it that we rejuse at a birth causes we are not the person involved we are not the person involved WE WONDER! Here's somebody's chance!—The student loan fund was started in 1894. It now amounts to $1,900. It took twenty years for the fund to grow to this small amount. One hundred and fifty two students have been helped by this fund—twenty of them this year. Sums up to $100 will be loaned to students at four per cent interest whenever there is any money left in the fund. And there's the trouble! Many applicants who need help cannot get it 'from the loan fund. It is too small. Other universities have loan funds ranging from $5,000 to $10,000. Many other universities have had gifts to the fund—gifts from former students and old grads. VOCATIONAL OR CLASSICAL? IN the past decade, notably, an articulate demand for vocational training has been heard throughout the land, and universities, colleges, and high schools have harkened to it. We are left to wonder about Kansas men. Couldn't they do as well? Courses in the liberal arts and sciences have been supplemented with and sometimes supplanted by instruction in law, engineering, commerce, pedagogy, domestic science and manual training. Always the new courses have curtailed or completely eliminated the training in the classical and academic branches. To the tendency for early specialization the masses have shouted huzzzahs, and have appeared insatiate for its extension. Molly, who used to be graduated from high school unfitted for the world, was turned out a teacher for the rural schools. John, who formerly went to college and came back to wash the windows in his father's store returned to take a position in the bank, or to run for county attorney. Thus it has been with the masses, but what of the big interests of the land? How do the master men who are searching for .42 centimeter material look at the idea of early professional and commercial specialization? Perhaps a recent announcement by the National City Bank of New York is an indication of what large caliber men are thinking concerning training and schooling. This international institution has agreed to take college men who have had at least two years accredited work and will give them a year's training in the bank, paying them wages and instructing them in branches directly or indirectly connected with banking. The time in the bank may be spent during summer vacations, or may include one semester during the junior or senior year of university life. The bank's object is to train men for its foreign and domestic branch service. This plan, which one of America's greatest banking institutions has voluntarily advanced, seems to establish these facts; first, that big jobs still demand broadly developed men; second, that big men believe that specialization comes only through actual experience and should be a conjugant and not a substitute for a liberal education; and third, that the leading men of the country are ready and willing to assist a young man in "cramming" his technical training and experience, provided that he has a firm and broad foundation of "old-fashioned knowledge." REAL OLD KANSAS WIND! Blow, blow, blow, With thy cold, bleak sting, Oh Wind (Long i) And I would that my tongue could utter The thoughts that come to my mind. Whenever old Eolus opens his magic bag as he did the other day, everybody begins to wonder just "why" and "how" wind is. Good old conservative Webster thinks that wind is air naturally in motion with any degree of velocity. But Webster never had the advantage of propelling himself around on our Hill on a March day. We take issue with him right now on that velocity statement. In K. U. statistics anything less than a hundred miles an hour is a "more zephyra breeze." At fifty miles "per" all is quiet and peaceful. But when the wind runs races with itself, as it did lately, the University may be excused for getting excited. When the only things that remain stationary are the Law and Engineering Buildings, and they only because so firmly embedded in their own dignity, then we know it is windy. In times past a student felt reasonably certain that he could keep from being blown several miles down the Kaw valley by catching himself on the corner of Spooner, Blake or the Administration building as he sailed over the crest of the Hill. Alas! many failed in this Tuesday. We counted not fewer than ten of our most prominent students, three professors and two football heroes hanging to various parts of Fraser. One by one they were shaken loose by the rocking of the building and floated away into the dim distance. The only safe thing to do when one sees or hears that a real wind is coming is to carry a rope and lash one's self to the pillars of Green. Jayhawk Squawks If we were as economical with our possessions as the small girl is with her chewing gum, we'd all be Andrew Carnegie. Kansas editors are either mighty courageous or mightly conceived. They are offering a $25 prize to the editor's wife who writes the best answer to the question "If I had it to do over, would I marry a Kansas editor?" Fashion note for women: The most important item in connection with personal appearance of girls this spring will not be white arms, snowy necks or pink cheeks. It will be green backs. When the average man drops a quarter in the collection box on Sunday, he considers himself a martyr for the rest of the week. During the last semester of his senior year, the young collegian opens his mail rather expectantly every morning. Then he wonders why he doesn't receive any of those glowing offers that the college orators have assured him lay at the feet of the "man with an education." There is an ancient tradition of a man who knew a funny story and didn't tell it. The average collegian praises "The Dial" and "The Literary Digest" and reads "Life" and "The Saturday Evening Post." Once upon a time there was a college girl who didn't go home during vacation and assume direction of the entire family. Somehow, the world respects the man who gets a clean shave every day almost as much as it does the man who reads his Bible every morning. Advice to inexperienced wooers When a girl begins to tell her "plans" for the next ten years, look out. But as he warmed and glowed, in his Quilts forgotten or self, and full of the Quilts forgotten or self, and full of the ARRESTS the woman with a child lighter. Said in a tranquil voice, she didn't say, in a troubled speech, "Don't PRISCILLA AND JOHN ALDEN ENGLISH AS SHE'S TAUGHT you speak for yourself, "out- fashioned" if he feels like "Courtship of Miles Standish." It is an amazing fact, but it is nevertheless true, that Mr. Ivey is kiplinger or Sir James Bauer, or let us say, ex-president Elliot of Harvard, would fail hopelessly in English in the enlarge examinations of any American or Canadian university. King George, from whom presumably the King's English flows as from its fountain source, might get perhaps halfway through a high school in the subject. As for Shakespeare, I doubt if he knew enough of what is called English by our education departments to get beyond a kindergarten. As to passing an examination of one of his own plays, such as is set by our colleges for matriculation, he couldn't have done it; he hadn't the brains, at least not the kind of brains that are needed for it. We make our pupils spend about two hours a day for ten years in the silly pursuit of what we call English. These are not exaggerations; they are facts. I admit that when the facts are not good enough, I always wish them. This time they don't need it. ish. And yet at the end of it we wonder that our students have less real appreciation of literature in them than when they read a half-dime novel for sheer artistic joy of it.—Stephen Leacock in "Harper's Weekly." A professor in the University of Chicago told the members of his class that he would consider that man educated who could answer in the affirmative each of a series of questions The interrogations follow: ARE YOU EDUCATED? Our study of English—not merely in any one state or province, but all over North America, except in happy Mexico—begins with years and years of the silly stuff called grammar and rhetoric. All the grammar that any man can learn is from any use as an intellectual training, can be learned in a few weeks from a little book as thin as a Ritz-Carlton Sandwich. All the rest of the solid manuals on the subject is mere stodge. It serves no other purpose than to put you in the position of patrons who elaborate it. Rhetoric is worse. It lays down laws for the writing of sentences and paragraphs about as reasonable and as useful as a set of directions telling you to be a gentleman, or how to have a taste for literature. This is the last stage, open only to minds that have already been debilitated by grammar and rhetoric. we actually proceed on the silly supposition that you can "examine" a person in English literature, torment it out of him, so he speaks, courses it into the classroom, ask him to distinguish the 'styles' of different authors as he would the color of their whiskers. We expect him to divide up authors into "schools" and to sort them into a produce merger-classified fish. The truth is that you cannot examine in English in this way, or only at the cost of killing the very thing that you wish to create. The only of examiners capable of creating it I can of course would be to say to the pupil, for example, "Have you read Charles Dickens and do you like it?" and when he answered that he didn't care for it, but that his uncle read it all the time, to send a B. A. degree to "Can you look into the sky at night and see beyond the stars?" The interrogation "Has education given you sympathy with all the good causes and made you espouse them?" "Have you learned how to make friends and keep them? Think over the foregoing questions carefully; there is a world of philosophy and serious thinking connected with each one of them. How about the seventh interrogation; also the next to last one? Can you see anything in the puddle but mud? "Has it made you public spirted?" "Has it made you a brother to the children." Miles Standish, friar "Can you look an honest man or pure woman in the eye? "Can you be high-minded and happy in the meanest drudgeryes of life?" "Do you know what it is to be a friend yourself?" "I can you look out on the world and see anything except dollars and coins." "Will a lonely dog follow you in the street?" "Do you see anything to love in a little child?" "Do you think washing dishes and hoeing corn just as compatible with high thinking as piano playing or golf?" you "Are you good for anything your self?" Are you educated in the broader sense of the term?—Purdue Exponent. "Can you be happy alone?" censorship you look into a mud paddle for the outside and are close to it. d'he but mud? "Do you look into the sky at..." AreYouaPessimist? If you don't really know what a pessimist is, you can't hardly answer that question. You do know, however, that it has a mean, disagreeable sound and that you don't want to be one. One of the wits says that "A pessimist is a man who sleeps unsoundly through the night for fear it will soon be morning." Poor man, you say. But Mr. Business Man of Lawrence: Are you sleeping unsoundly through the night in the fear that your competitor is getting more than his share of the trade? Is he really getting it? If so, why? Are you a pessimist? Did you insert one little ad in the paper the other day and then holler your head off every time a newspaper man came in the office about "not being able to see that it brought any results?" If you want student trade—and it is a safe bet that you do—the only way to get it is to go out after it. Your only way of letting the students know what you have is through the advertising columns of the University Daily Kansan. One barber has increased his business ten per cent through one month's campaign in the Kansan. One cleaner, presser and dyer has asked his advertising man to lay a little low on the dye question, as he is afraid he will run out of supplies before he can order again if suits and dresses keep coming in. And we could tell of a few other cases, too. You know where the students trade, Business Man of Lawrence. Watch them as they go down Massachusetts street and you will see that they turn in at the places of business whose advertising they read in the University Daily Kansan. In view of the fact that you would give your right arm to have a big share of the student trade; that you have been too short-sighted to pursue a definite advertising policy in the paper that goes to every student five times a week; that you don't act friendly to an advertising man when he walks into your store consider him a thief and robber, trying to beat you out of your hard-earned money instead of helping you to make more—that you cuss the luck of your competitor and wonder how anybody can see anything decent about the goods he handles—if that has been your policy and you think it is time to consider some other one, we would like to help a little. The advertising service of the University Daily Kansan is absolutely free. A man from our office would like to talk to you tomorrow. Or ARE YOU STILL A PESSIMIST? Dartmouth seniors have expressed their personal opinions on all matters from favorite students to favorite study. One of the hottest fights was in the contest for the most popular author when Elinor Glynrn ran Shakespeare a close race for first place. Kipling is in the fastest and Smith bequeathe the most popular women's institute. The class showed sound taste in the choice of the New York Evening Post. Yale is at the head of men's colleges after Dartmouth. Columbia University has placed its ban under the supervision of its Athletic association owing to the good it has done in defending the enemy" and bringing in the "wins." The student orchestra of the University of Southern California will tour the cities of the southern part of the state this spring. WANT ADS LOST—A "Frat" fountain pen at Oread Cafe Saturday. Reward if returned to Kansan office. LOST—A Conklin No. 3 fountain pen. Finder please leave at 1145 Ind. or call 565 Bell. 106-3* LOST—Between the Administration Building and Snow Hall, a Sigma Chi pin. Finder kindly return to Kansaan office. 107-3 LOST-Parker fountain pen in lapel with silver, jack-knife size, initial G. M. on barrel, March 3rd. Call 1784W. Reward. 110-2* FOR RENT—To men. One single room for one man, and one suite of rooms, consisting of study and outdoor sleeping room, fine for spring. New house. Fine location. Gas, electric light, hot water, 1410 Tenn. St. 109-3 WANTED—Young woman student solicitor. Good money to live wire. 8 East 8th St. Home phone 303. SHUBERT MATINEES WED. & SAT. n "IN VAN DER DECKEN" n "in-EXT-William Favalent am" The "Hawk!" DAVID WARFIELD PROTSCH The College Tailor A Good Place to Eat Johnson & Tuttle Anderson's Old Stand 715 MASSACHUSETTS STREET Watkins National Bank Capital $100,000 Surplus and Profits $100,000 The Student Depository For the latest in commercial and society printing call on A. G. Alrich 744 Mass. St. Conklin Fountain Pens Non-Leakable and Self-Filling Sold in Lawrence at F. B. McColloch's Drug Stor 847 Mass. St. See Griffin Coal Company for Fuel. CLASSIFIED Book Store KEELERS BOOK STORE. **835 Mesa** St. Typewriters for sale or rent. Typewriter desk and stand. The pound. Quik books 4 for 10c. Pictures and Picture framing Jewelers ED. W. PARISONS, Engraver. Watch- jewelry. Bell phone 717, 717. Mass. --- PHONE KENNEL PLUMBING CO. Masai and Maxda Lamps. 354. Masai. MUSS E ESTELLA, NORRIHIP, HUSB Plumbers Shoe Shoe **Shoe Shops** U. SHOP Zoe BEST place for best resultum 1342 Kuhe place for best resultum 1342 Dainting R. H. DALE, Artistic Job Printing. Both phones 228, 1027 Mass. Shoe Shop FORNEY SHOE SHOP, 1017 Mass. St. near the mistake. All work guaranteed. Dreammaking MIBE M. A. MORGAN HEI Tonnees, taking inventory very reasonable. taking inventory very reasonable. PROFESSIONAL CARDS DR. H. L. CHAMBERS. Office over Squires' studio. Both phones. HARRY REEDING. M. D. Eyer, ear- ceiling. F. S. Haines, phone. F. S. Haines, U. Bladg. Phones, Bell 615. G. W, JONES, A. M, M. D. *Disease* colony; **GUBEN**, A. M. *Disease* cellulose; **BULER**, A. M. *Phone* J. R. BEGHETH, M. D., D. O. 833 Mass. Both phones. Office and residence. A. C. WILSON, Attorney at law, 748 Mass. St. Lawrence, Kansas. DR, H. W. HUTCHINSON. Dentat. 3018 Perkins Bldg. Lawrence, Kansas. C. E. ORELIP, M. D. Dick Bldg. Eyes, Ear, Nose and Throat Specialist. All glass work guaranteed. Successor to Dr. Hamman.