UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Official student paper of the University of Kansas EDITORIAL STAFF BUSINESS STAFF Wilbur Fischer ... Editor-In-Chief Chas Muravevant ... Associate Edito Chris Bassett ... Associate Edito Zetha Hammer ... News Edito Miles Vaughn ... Assistant Darren Hale ... Assistant William Cady Business Manager Chia, Startvent Adv. Manager Daniel Hirsch Manager REPORTORIAL STAFF Prunel Brindle Raymond Clapper Haymond Sproull Cargill Sproull Ralph Ellis Charles Sweet Raymond Ellis Glenn Swinger Lloydsner Subscription price $3.00 per year in advance; one term, $1.75. Entered as second-class mail matter September 17, 1810, at the post office at Lawrence, Kansas, under the act of March 2, 1879. Published in, the afternoon by Byrne Wright of Kansburg, from the breeze of Wisconsin by Kane, from the breeze of Address a. communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN Lawrence, Kansas. Phone, Bell K, U. 25. The Daily Kansan aims to picture the undergraduate life of the then thanly printing new standards in their university hold; to play no favorites; to be clean; to be cheerful; to be ageous; to leave more serious problems to wiser heads, in all, to make students familiar with the students of the University. MONDAY, FEBRUARY 28, 1916. Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar Mark Twain Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep it is. Because we owe to Adam the first great benefaction He brought death into the world. NO MORE GRINDS The election of six new members to the Phi Beta Kappa society has been announced, and in the list of names are some of the best known students in school. Twenty years ago this would not have been the case, for it used to be a tradition at the University that the men and women who "made" Phi Beta Kappa were not the men and women who were prominent in school activities. They were usually considered the grinds of school and were looked down on by the "active" students. The change is a hopeful one in that it answers the attacks of those carping critics who long for the old-fashioned student, who preferred study to pelitis or dancing, and who believed time spent away from his books wasted. Present day Phi Beta Kappas are apt to lead in a lot of things besides grades. Boob: You don't say? Rube: Did you know the war was 'all over?' Rube: Yes! All over Europe! "Our Little Susie, aged three, knows her numbers up to ten," writes a mother.—It's the little things that count. ABSTRACT vs. CONCRETE Ancient metaphysicists used to argue long and loud about how many angels could sit on the point of a pin at exactly the same instant, or how many souls placed point to point, it would take to reach the moon. We are advanced beyond any such abstract intellectual fluff. Yes indeed! A concrete example of our modern analytical reasoning is seen in the bridge question, the new bridge which is being built for farmers. Or rather the bridge which the farmers thought would be built for them when they voted the $200,000 bonds. Since the Rock Island Railway has made public its benevolent plan of augmenting freight traffic between Topeka and Kansas City, the farmers feel a bit uncertain about the ultimate purpose of said bridge. And why should not the railway oe copy a 10 foot strip down the center of the 44 foot bridge? That leaves the farmer a palatial ten foot driveway on either side. Economy of space is the watchword of today. The proverbial economy of space in the can of sardines is mild, the farmers say, compared with the proposed bridge spacing. The farmer even goes so far as to say that a 10 foot driveway is not wide enough for him. But perhaps the farmer doesn't know about the necessary space required in which to handle a team. All the sage ones of the country know full well that a Of course farm gates are 12 and 14 feet wide and the farmer considers that scant space, but as has been said, the farmer knows so little about such things. ten food driveway is wide enough. Loaded hayracks are 9, 10, 11 and 12 feet wide but then the farmer has no business loading like that. It's too heavy for the horses and besides it is ungainly and inartistic. Shying horses take up a lot of room but then again if the farmers would give their horses nerve tonic they wouldn't be so nervous and skittish. Any well manned healthy horse ought not mind having an interurban scrape the flies off his ears. Three horses abreast measure ten feet six inches, swing and swine. Simple matter to settle—let one of the horses walk on the sidewalk. What cause have we for exclusive false pride? Aren't we descended from brute? Yes, undoubtedly the farmers are mistaken and need enlightenment on the bridge question. Judging from the number of faculty garages that are going up we are forced to infer that our worthy professors must be getting their twenty-year endowments, or else building chicken coops under false pretenses. Why should we worry about lack of music, when even cigars have bands? They say that many people do not care for poetry, but those who own a cat often have communion with the "mews." WHAT ARE THE RULES OF TH NEW.POETRY? Talking with people in well-ordered ways is prone. talking with people in well-ordered And talking to them in well-ordered ways or in disordered outbreak may be poetry. But talking with yourself, out on a country road, no houses and no hedges to conceal a listener. Only to talk between the trees and a wind and a linet. Talking with yourself in those long breaths that sing or hum or whistle fullness of the heart. Talking with yourself, The short breaths, Beat of heart, Whether it be of sadness or a hailstack, Mirth or the smell of the sea, A cloud or luck or love, Any of these or none— It's poetry. —Witter Bynner, in the Bellman. Jayhawk Squawks Kissing is not the only way to catch disease, but it is the most satisfactory. "Well," said Farmer Cornshuck, glancing up from the Kansan, "I see they have an article here about "The Passing of Wiede's." "Land saloon!" exclaimed his wife, if that is so, we won't hate to buy a car. "I will," she replied. "Students Make Use of Stacks at Night," reads a Kansan headline. But don't be alarmed. This refers to the library. It took most of us all day Wednesday to rest up in the day Tuesday. The season of the year has now arrived when spring training in the There is a fortune awaiting the penius who can invent a handkerchief that covers all your wrinkles. The K. C. papers are lamenting the fact that three Belgian boys must go to bed to furnish clothes enough to wear in a mass as the National Board of Censorship. Sweaargain Jones settled back in barber chair at the "shop of the town," ordered a hair-cut and a singe, and proceeded to fall asleep. When he awoke some time later and smelled the burning hair, he thought he had died. The news dispatches told of a man who called Roosevelt an "ivory-top," and then hastened away. Safety first! And now the "Press Club" has been organized. Put in a hurry call for them. Free suggestion: Why doesn't some enterprising journalist sell this "Tomorrow's Best Bargain" idea to some matrimonial bureau magazine? Members of the Willamette University, Oregon, football team have re-elected Earl C. Hegel, last year's captain, unanimously. He has won seven letters and is the only "W" man that played every minute of playing time during last season. This is the first time in the history of the University that a man has been so highly honored. They are the little rains that slowly to roots of flowers, which comfort and renew. Even a flower is red by morning dew. And quiet night puts the young Kate to sleep asleep. Rocked by the little wind—most dear Dear little things, with little tender way. That is not known, that have no hands or praise. But we turn to go—they softly call. O dear caressing liteness that laughs the little lying wind, the little rain, that calls us when we may not come Tender and sweet as are all gentle The clinging hands, the sound of running feet To be close to do dear, so sobbing sweet. Scintilline Howard in Public Opinion. TO LITTLE THINGS There is an unfailing touch on truth in each of these nine absurd rules. Men long "out of college" picture in industry, but picture the stock uncertainties of almost any college yarn except "Philosophy Four"-itself a Harvard product. Even "Stover at Yale," which was "redeemed by having a vital vitality," attests to the Lampoon's lay figures.-The American Educational Review. The latest activity of society in the University of Missouri is that of ice skating which is enjoyed by professors and students alike. CAMPUS OPINION Communications must be signed or evidence of good faith but names will not be published without the writer's consent. Editor. Daily Kansan: 8. All college rooms are adorned with pennants. I trust that the new method of management on the paper is proving satisfactory to all. As a student editor I always opposed any move to take the paper from independent student-trol. It seemed to me that Kanan did not become any less a real student paper this year because of the change. Your student opinion column continues to be one of the most interesting departments. Several communications asking that "cuss words" in yells be discontinued have my most hearty appeal. As a student no longer a profiler, Carruth's anti-"To Hell with Old Mizzo" idea more than it did. It seems to me that such a reform was undermining the very foundations of student liberty—even though swearing is not one of my worst personal habits. Since my graduation, however, I have heard one the most important politician of the better sort, too—deliver a scathing denunciation of University students as a body; and the K. u. songs and yells were the texts he used for his sermon. Students are fair and reasonable if approached properly. If the Kansan would preside, surely would they not be willing to sacrifice a little "inherent liberty" for the good of the institution? Yours truly, John C. Madden, 14. College wit when it strays the campus becomes as thoroughly immature as the collegian himself, comments the Chicago Post. It is artificial and unverifiable. We are outside inside the quadrangle and upon its own soil, it is as confident and accurate as the most mature mind could wish. Thus we find the Harvard Lampoon in the typical story of college life;criply: The birthday number of the Daily Kansan arrived with all bells on and I have been intending to make a short editorial notice of its advent, in the columns of the Kansan (1) advertising has been so heavy in February, and space in a weekly is so limited, that I have been unable to do until it is too late. The edition was a hummer. After lunch each day I sit down to read three papers, the real K. U. NEWSPaper, the Kansan. I must confess that it doesn't take long for the names of students to grow unfamiliar but an occasional reference to an old grad. a professor, or the lace laminated Student Union makes the few minutes' search worth while. And now—glory REAL COLLEGE HUMOR Anybody can write a story about college life. If he has not attended a college, so much the better. His imagination is less trammeled. A few simple rules must be observed, however. 7. College men never study, but spend their time in toasting repose by drinking coffee. 5. An college men call their fathers "pater," and speak of the "honor of the dear old school" in a husky voice. 3. There is always a "Fatty" who is a funny fellow. 4. Any four college men make up a quartet, which can can“s “Merhillee we ro-hull alonng” at any time. 6. All college men address cac other as "old boss." 5. all College men are wooing a girl named Dorothy or Betty, who is wooing you? 1. All heroes are named Jack, Stanley, or Dick. 2. All college men wear sweaters always, and smoke short, fat-bowed jeans. Did You Take advantage of the suggestions made in the "Tomorrow's Best Bargain"column in the Kansan last Friday? Look at it today and see where you can purchase both necessities and luxuries at a lower cost. The articles mentioned are for your benefit and you are the loser if you don't take advantage of the prices offered. Look at the Good "Buys" for Tomorrow Advertising for the *Nebraska annual* is being raised by means of a contest between members of the business staff. Five dollars is the reward to the man who solicits and obtains the most advertising. The copy for the Gustafson Ad Prize Contest must be in the office of the Daily Kansan before Wednesday noon, March 1. There's $5.00 in trade for the winner. University of Missouri is having her trouble with eligibility rules too. Walter Newell of Kansas City upon whom the Tigers relied to take the championship from Kansas in the spring tennis tournament is the one for whom the sport men mourn most. Archie Klein and Kenneth Huston are also among the lost athletes. Klein was called home on account of the death of his father and Shepherd was so far behind in his studies that he thought that a little caution would be the better part of valor. Consequently he left school for this year and expects to take another full year to offset these losses Bern Neldorp, the star track man and Pierp Morgan, of baseball fame, have returned to fill their old places. WANT ADS FOR RENT--Nice large furnished room for boys, $12.00 per month for two. Call Bell 965J. 97-5. LOST-A a bunch of keys some place near gymnasium last Thursday night. Fred Pausch, 745 Louisiana. Phone 444. FOR RENT-A 13 room furnished fraternity house; close to University and down town. South and East fraternity location. Call 1468W. 102-3* WANTED -Young man or woman with teaching experience to do educational work during their vacation. Salary paid. Address W. M. Hughes, 28 Columbian Building, Topeka, Kansas. 100-3 CITIZENS STATE BANK We are handling all University accounts, and we solicit your business, de posits guaranteed. 707 Massachusetts St. Send the Daily Kansan home to the folks. New Model Kodaks See Them at Evans Drug Store 819 Mass. St. For the latest in commercial and society printing call on A. G. Alrich 744 Mass. St. Watkins National Bank Capital $100,000 Capital $100,000 Surplus and Profits **110,000** The Student Depository A Good Place to Eat Johnson & Tuttle PROTSCH Anderson's Old Stand 715 MASSACHUSETTE STREET The College Tailor CLASSIFIED Book Store KEELER'S BOOK STORE. 393 Mass. St. Typowriters for sale or rent. Paper by the pound. Quis books s for 10c. Pictures and Picture framing. Jewelers ED. W. PARISONS Ensigner Watch- stone jewelry.贝聟手机 711.717.917.717. **Shop Shops** K. U SHOE SHOP Pantatorium is K. U SHOE SHOP for best place 1342 1824 MISS ESTRELA NORTHRUP, MA. netiquet handled. of Mass. Phone netiquet handled. of China. Phone Plumbers PHONE KENNEDY PLUMBING CO. 917-234-8050 Maxda Lamps. 917- Mass. Phones Maxda. 917-234-8050 B. H. BALLE, Artistic Job Printing. Both phones 228, 1027 Mass. FORNKEY SHOE SHOP, 1017 Mass. St. have a mistake. All work guaranteed. MISR M A, M. MORGAN G, E241 Tappees, Murray A. M., M. MORGAN G. turing,iking Prices very reasonable. turing,iking Prices very reasonable. PROFESSIONAL CARDS DR. H. L. CHAMBERS. Office over Squires' studio. Both phones. HARRY HEDDING. M, D.phones EY, ear, CORRECTIVE. M, D.phones PHONE; BILG. Phone 513; UBLG. Phone 613; BILG. G. W. JONES, A. M. M. D. Diascone suity ould sults at AirBnge. Hesl- stal suits. A. Bnge. J. R. RECHTEL, M. D. O. B32 Mxes Both phones, office and residence C. WILSON, Attorney at law 743 Mass St. Lawrence, Kansas. DR. H. W. HUTCHINSON, Dentist. 308 DRK. Bildg. Lawrence, Kansas. O. C. OUILMAUF EYX C. O. SULMUF Tho. SPALPEL EYX D. A. GINARIA guaranteed. Successor to Dr. Mamman guaranteed. Send the Daily Kansan home. Conklin Fountain Pens Non-Leakable and Self-Filling F. B. McColloch's Drug Store 847 Mass. St. See Griffin Coal Company for Fuel.