UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
EDITORIAL STAFF
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Official student paper of the University of Kansas
Zetha Hammer Editor-in-chief
Gill Servirner Associate
Assocint Advisor
Raymond Clapper News Editor
Charles Sweet
Associate
Ascintan*
BUSINESS STAFF
BUSINESS STAFF
Chas. Sturtevant ... Business Manager
REPORTORIAL STAFF
Cargill Sproull (Ralph Ellis)
Rarmon Cam (Paul McCarthy)
Paul Brindel
Lloyd Wyman (Maryanne Mckernan)
Maureen Kermann
Subscription price $3.00 per year in advance; one term, $1.75.
Entered as second-class mail master September 17, 1910, at the post office at Lawrence, Kansas, under the act of March 3. 1879.
Address all communications to UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
Lawrence, Kansas
Phone, Bell K. U. 25.
Published in the afternoon five times a week, by students of the University of Kansas, from the press of the Department of Journalism.
The Daily Kansan aims to picture the university of Kansas; to go further than merely printing the data of Kansas; to go further than merely printing the data of Kansas; to play no delightful University holds; to play no favorite; to be clean; to be courteous; to be kind; to be courteous; to leave more serious problems to wiser heads; to limit the students of the University.
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 5, 1916.
A man is never so ridiculous by those qualities that are his own as by those qualities he affects to have. Poor Richard's Almanac.
IT IS HERE TO STAY
The recent epidemic of gripepe and the second epidemic that is threatening has proved conclusively the value and necessity of the University hospital. In spite of much complaint on the part of the student body against paying an additional fee and in spite of many pessimistic predictions on the part of many of the townpeople, the hospital has won out, and has shown that a hospital is not a white elephant on the hands of a large University.
At the beginning of the epidemic many humorously inclined students saw only an attempt on the part of the student body to get its two dollars' worth of treatment, but as the epidemic became more widespread and serious, their humor changed into relief that they had medical service upon which to rely. During the months of November and December over half the student body received medical aid, their complaints ranging all the way from appendicitis to severe colds. The hospital beds were full almost constantly, and the nurse and staff of doctors busy from early morning until late in the night. Patients who were too ill to come to the hospital were visited by the nurse at home.
ing to doctor themselves or to do with-
not attention at all rather than pay a
goal or bill.
doctor bill.
Instead now of students complaining about the hospital and its fee, the majority are wondering how we managed to get along without it for so many years. The fact is that many prolonged their illnesses by attempt-
Imagine.
to bribe. The hospital is doing everything in
power to prevent a recurrence of
cancer in the grips epidemic. It is up to the
best student body now to cooperate with it.
board will do — say
Imagine.
A Kansai town has a choir leader
named Ima Bird.
ANSWERING THE TELEPHONE
"Whist impressions are lastening," is especially true, when one talks over the telephone. "Many, it seems, fail to radiate what I understand to answer the phone in an appropriate manner."
There are about thirty-five organizations in the University that have their own homes or headquarters. Each one of these has its telephone. When one of these organizations is called, the telephone may be answered
by any one of a dozen members
by some one
by any doubt. The answer is answered by some one who, if he did not know the facts of his voice that
to one at once shakes, the sensibilities of she
wrote who she 'sale'. In other cases, the
sensibility of her voice.
person who calls /.In other cases the
hall answer is given in a courteseyoung
answer is given in a courteous tone that gives a pleasant impression of that gives a pleasant impression of
Prof. C. N. Kendall, 'Commissioner of Education in N. J., in a recent
1071 of Education, in N. J., in a recent
lecture, stated, as prominent business
Send the Daily Kansas home.
man of Indianapolis: "As a rule, you can judge a business house by the manner in which the telephone is answered." Professor Kendall did not accept this as a universal rule, but he used it to emphasize the fact that it is important that the person who calls over the telephone should be given every possible courtesy. When one stops to think of the point that Professor Kendall made, he is more and more convinced that there is much ground for his statement. It is often that the one in charge of the telephone in an institution or a business house is asked questions that, to the operator, seem unnecessary or trivial. It may be, however, that the information asked is of greatest importance to the inquirer.
It's the Little Things that count.
RIFTS IN THE WAR CLOUDS
"A Tragedy in the Clouds," is the headline of a little "piece" of war news.
War—the word calls up all that is terrible, all that is brutish, all that tends to efface in man sentiment, charity, and fineness, but the news referred to suggests that our common conceptions may be superficial.
A German Zeppelin ventured too near the Russian lines. The Russians shelled it. An explosion in the air, then the taking of charred and mangled remains from the debris that fell to the ground. That was all. But over the grave of Germans, a cross was erected by Russians, bearing the inscription, "Honor the brave, though they were Germans."
A NEW FORMULA
Among the most fragile bits of bric-a-brac are New Year resolutions adapted to the rough handling of everyday life because they are so difficult to keep intact. The idea of putting off a habit until another day is much more sensible. To the man who has just decided to stop smoking "forever" seems a long, long time, but to stop until tomorrow does not seem hard at all.
A broken New Year resolution has to wait a whole year before it can be mended. Already there are many resolutions on the scrap pile. But a man or woman can start any day in the year to put off a habit until another day, and if he slips once he can start in the next day to miss it once more.
Break it a day at a time.
Science has just published the following jingle by a K. U. professor which is offered as a scheme for aiding students to remember the order of geological periods:
Cam. Or. Sil. De
Miss. Penn. Perm-ice,
Tri. Ju. Co. Cre.
E. (01).Mi,Pli, Pleis
It sounds like a splendid remedy for insomnia. Read it through once, and you will want to sleep for a week.
A fraternity chapter at the University of Indiana gave a Christmas party to thirty poor boys just before the beginning of the vacation period. To a K. U. fraternity man this seemed a perfectly proper thing to do only, he says, he can't see why they had to invite in the thirty poor boys because he believes that the men in the house could all have qualified.
An Ann Arbor restaurant keeper has opened a college hamburger stand "for women only" and he says that a man will not be allowed inside the door under any consideration. The Males at Michigan must be awfully poor spenders.
There is a senior in the University who says that he has discovered a simple formula which is going to cause him to get about three times as much good from his work this year as he ever has before in any of his three years in school. The formula is this: sit on the front seat, or as near the front as possible, in each class that you attend and pay the closest attention to what the instructor has to say. When one bears in mind that examinations and the making or breaking of if it were your credits are only a matter of weeks, it is evident that this advice is particularly apt.
at the same time to do them at
one—your Ridibb's Amanda.
Bath;
And there as on a darkening plain Swept with confused airs of arug-
ing.
light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for
AN EXPOSAL OF COLLEGE
PROFESSORS
AH LOVE, LET US BE TRUE
seems
To lie before is like a land of dreams.
So various, so beautiful, so new.
Hate really no joy, nor love, nor
never.
gle and light.
Where ignorant armors clash by night,
Matthew Arnold.
To one another! for the world, which
The "exposal" of college professors which Don Herold, '13, makes in the Illinois University Alumni Quarterly is decidedly daring. No one but an alumnus would have the courage so to tear away a cell from the colligary of the colliginary. To the unenlightened average student body it is a gleam of light upon one of the mysteries of life. He says:
Old Lady Customer—"Do you guarantee these night gowns?"
Ma— "You've been drinking. I mell it in your breath."
No place else in the world is altogether comfortable, so I do not see why the colleges should not be entirely so. The colleges, if I were doing it, would be little Hagues, here and there, in a world of a hundred varieties of strife. I get a good deal of satisfaction now out of the way I got through college. perspire at my bread-wind today, now that I am out in a reentless, grinny business life, I can at least grin inwardly and say to myself, "Well, I had it soft for seven years in college". (Seven years is not a bit too many for a four years' course.)
Sly Young Clerk. "The can't be worn out, madman." Leland Stanford College.
I want to do everything I can to make the colleges comfortable. One thing I can do is to explain and expose professors.
Pa-" Not a drop! I've been eating
hops!" You smell the smell in the
hops." hardward harvest.
There are always eight or ten others in the family.
Scribe—"Notice that my jokes in
them appear before your picture,
don't look at them."
Professors are altogether normal.
They do a lot of normal and ordinal.
(Professors are a source of great discomfort to college students, and therefore ought to be explained and exposed.)
Artist-"Age before beauty, you know." Illinois Siren.
Professors wear socks and shave
and they have to send their collars
to the laundry, and get up, reluctant
to do a dollar alarm clock, in the
morning.
They know who Epicurus was, but their wives compel them to go to market and carry home cabbage and beans in a basket.
A good many of them shake their own fireplaces, and keep a pair of ten-cent white cloth gloves in the stairway to wear when they go to the furnace room. And they are not exempt from the liability of skimming their ankles on a coal bucket in the basement.
You always wonder if a professor is good to his family (he seems so mean at college) and you can't see him. You know he has him around the house so much.
I have been at professors' houses lots of times and had them leave me and go down to the basement, and I guard them sweaving at the fireplace.
They make their living by delivering high school commencement ad-
vocations to students and professors work their way through college in some way or other.
If you come right out and say, "Oh shoot, I don't get Beetoven or Schoenhauer or any of the other great musicians, and I don't quirk there's much to them anyway," the master will generally agree with you.
Unmarried professors generally pretend to be living like bachelors. They really go in for being like collegegoers and expect a lot of credit for it.
Married professors generally have ugly wives, which they don't bring out in public very often. They pick up for intellect, not for decoration.
They use fairly good grammar, and even go out of their way to get in some good grammar, but they are greatly relieved if you want to cuss them. They don't have pugilism and other things of contemporary interest. The only reason that a professor uses English is to get your goat, but anybody can take courage and decide to convert them to another professor and get away with it.
The babies are put out in the back yard at night, for fresh air and self-sufficiency. Professors' babies are accorded to scientific and psychological laws, and - it is a wonder that they live - if a pre-baby falls down three flights of stairs, the professor never notices it, for he knows it is only the natural working of the laws of gravity.
Lawrence Merchants
are advertising
Pre-inventory and Stock Reducing Sales
When taking advantage of their slash in prices—
Gosh! P. B. K. Rushes!
the members of the University of Colorado chapter of Phi Beta Kappa, will entertain at a party Saturday night. The guests will be a few, in which they will sing and perform the sophomore class who have the highest scholastic, standing.
A good time is assured the guests, for quite often the wearers of the key are more clever than the rest of them. We don't want to be distracted. We only wish that we had followed the path of wisdom in the days of our youth, and we, too, might be enjoying the "rush" for Phi Beta Theta and God–University of Colorado.
CLASSIFIED
Jewelers
ED. W. PARSONS  Embrayer, Watch
jewelry. Bell phone 717, 717 Mass
jewelry. Bell phone 717, 717 Mass
China Painting
**NAME** NAMES
MISS ESTEBAN KUPLIN, CHINA
carefully handled. 735 Mass Phone
phone.
Barber Shops
Go where they all go
J. C. HOUCK
913 Mass.
Pantatorium
PHONE KENNEDY PLEMHING CO.
Mahon, Phone and Mazda Lamps. Mphon.
Mphones.
to SHOW SHOP and Fantatiorium is
Best place for best results 134;
Ohio
Tell them you saw their advertisement in the
B. H. DALE, Artistic Job Printing
both phone, 228, 1027 Mass.
Shoe Shon
**show step**
FORNEY SHOP 1817 Mass. Don't make a mistake. All work
will be done.
University Daily Kansan
MIRS, M. A., MORGAN, 1931, Toum. Up-
portment of Parties. Party dresses a speciality.
Party dresses a speciality.
PROFESSIONAL CARDS
DR. H. L. CHAMBERS. Office over Squires studio. Both phones.
BARRY BEDING, M. D. Eyre, earpier,
nose piercing, nose piercing.
F.C. BEDING, U. Blge, Phones, Bail 513
S. BEDING, U. Blge, Phones, Bail 513
G, A. HAMMAN, M. D. Dick Building
Glasses Rited. Satisfaction guaranteed
G. W. JONES A. M. M. D. Disease
Jones, Colony
colony Suitl. Phone
Heal.
Phone St. Phones
A. C. WILSON, Attorney at law 743
Mass. St. Lawrence, Kansas.
J. R. BRECHT, M.D. D. O. $33 Mass
Street. Both mphones on office and restroom
DR. H. W. HUTCHINSON, Dentist. 20$.
Parkling Bldg. Lawrence, Kansas.
Non-Leakable and Self-Filling Sold in Lawrence at
Conklin Fountain Pens
F. B. McColloch's Drug Store 847 Mass. St.
Watkins
National Bank
Capital $100,000
Surplus and Profits $100,000
The Student Depository
SHUBERT
TONIGHT.
ONE YEAR IN NEW YORK. SIX MONTHS IN CHICAGO. ON THE ORIGINAL CHICAGO CAST AND PRODUCTION. TRIAL
The Biggest Hit in 25 Years
Nights, 25c to $2.00. Sat Mat, 35c to
$4.00. Sun Sat, 35c to $4.00.
Next-Hyms & McIntyre.
PROTSCH
The College Tailor
Johnson & Tuttle
A Good Place to Eat Johnson & Tuttle
Anderson's Old Stand
715 MASSACHUSETTS STREET
ociety printing call on
For the latest in commercial and society printing call on
A. G. Alrich
744 Mass. St.
Distilled Water
See Griffin Coal Company for Fuel.
Said to be the only pure water. Order a bottle from McNish. Phones 198. Adv.
WANT ADS
LOST—A Kappa Kappa Gamma sor-
urity key. Finder please call Bell
phone 240. 69-1
LAUNDRY ROUTE FOR SALA—At a very reasonable figure, Excellent earnings. Only eight hours a week. Fred S. Rodkey, 69-3* 141 Ind. St. 69-3*
LOST-Nose glasses, tortoise shell
rinsed in black case. Call Bell 2082.
MERCURY CASES
LOST-Down-town, the day of the K. U., Missouri game, a Sachem watch fob. Reward. Merle Thorpe. 68.3
FURNISHED ROOMS—For boys on the Hill, right at the University. On campus, street also. Boarding by the week. Bell phone 12483 W. Patterson. 68-3
Coal Coal Coal
A. C. GIBSON
Both Phones 23. Deliveries
Kodakers!!
We are making a greater endeavor to develop your films and print your pictures this year.
Evans Drug Store 819 Mass. St.
"THE BEST AMERICAN MAKE
Cluett, Peabody & Co., Inc., Makers