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Friday, November 16, 1973
University Daily Kansan
KANSAN commen
Editorials, columns and letters published on this page reflect only the opinions of the writers.
President Pinocchio
It is now apparent that the Founding Fathers should have included a Pinocchio test for paternity when they drafted the constitution.
Constitutional scholars and other sober observers have been reminding us that a president can be impeached only for treason, bribery, other high crimes and misdemeanors.
But I hereby propose a Pinochio amendment to the Constitution, which would state that the president should be removed from office by impeachment if his nose grows to be longer than 12 inches.
The story of the wooden boy who told one lie, had to tell others to cover up the first, and whose nose grew along with his lies, was not available as a model for the Founding Fathers.
But the lessons of the Nixon administration have taught us the necessity of a Pinocchio amendment. The following is a rundown of the elongation of President Nixon's nose.
—The President stated that no one employed with the administration had any connection to entrapment or burglary. Add three inches.
Secret bombing runs over Cassodia were revealed. Add one inch
Administrative explanations of finances for Nixon home improvements changed three times.
Add one inch.
The President refused to turn over White House tape tapes and other subpoenaed material because of the need for confidentiality between the President and his aides. Add another two inches.
After a long court battle, the Nixon administration suddenly declared that two of the Watergate related tapes in question were nonexistent. Add at least one inch per tape.
The President definitely went over the top this week when his lawyers declared that yet another judge could not be located. Add two inches.
Despite the damage done to the credibility of the government and the presidential office, these tall tales should give comfort to at least one minority group. All of those who have squirmed for excuses should gain confidence from the President's example.
When a child is accused of robbing the cookie jar, he needn't shrink and cringe like in the old days. Now he can resolve the situation without question were simply missing or, even better, declare that they never existed.
Who can be sure. Perhaps the President really is telling the truth, accusations against Agnew really are true, and that Agnew really did lump over the moon.
In any event, I hope that the morality of the youngest generation is guided more by the story than by the realities of what tales coming out of Washington.
Bill Gibson
Egypt—Learning to Live With Peace
The Washington Post
Bv JONATHAN C. RANDAL
CAIRO-Egyptians have lived so long with the presence or prospect of war with Israel that they are having difficulties envying the peaceful peace might fit for their country.
Their overriding problem for the past quarter century has been making do within the restrictions of a society which has been under attack by the inevitable forthcoming war with Israel.
Perhaps unfairly, a foreign visitor sometimes gets the impression that much of the thinking has stopped about the time that she was in the automotive industries first to take to the road.
THERE IS AN understandable feeling that just keeping alive body and mind for Egyptians—or body and fingers for their hands—enough a task of near obsessive proportions.
Connoisseurs have a field day keeping track of such now-extinct makes or models of the aircraft. The kit includes a wooden body—which rolled off the assembly lines the year Israel became an independent state, or 1950 De Sotos or Packards, to not mention pre-World War II kits.
Even long conversations with Egyptian intellectuals tend not to go beyond the surface.
Future plans remain vague: More access for western capital to develop the economy, more consumer goods for Egypt's 35 million citizens, but nothing in any real depth of
Arab world somehow do not end up being tricked by Israel and its sole protector of the Arab world.
Trained Egyptian technicians and professional men and women exist. Those abroad would likely be willing to return if there is peace and if the Arab oil states have given their millions as readily for resettling projects, as they have for financing the war.
President Anwar Sadat has tried to get Egyptians to think peace—or rather to scale down Egyptian war aims from self-defeating threats to annihilate Israel to a willingness to recognize and respect the state within its pre-1987 war boundaries.
HE ALSO HAS ADDED a few controversial touchles in announcing new plans for the still blocked Suez Canal and appointing a building contractor Asman Ahmed Osman to the newly created post of nostwar reconstruction minister.
These moves have not gone uncriticized by citizens who still think the cease-fire was a trap. The government paid them a left-over bill of $20,000 for browntoward to total blackout a few days after
Beat Lack of Heat: Hibernate, Grow Fur
Yet Egyptians are perhaps over quick to conclude that the Israeli failure to achieve total lightning victory this time necessarily spells the end of the attraction of Zionism for Jews in the Diaspora and even a serious questioning of its goals within Israel.
Over the weekend the authoritative newspaper Al Ahram quoted an Egyptian professor of psychiatry named Salah Moussa that asserted that Israel needed war to survive.
Getting Back to Nature Isn't So Bad
Perhaps the simplest solution to a heatless winter would be for you and your family to take a lesson from Mother Nature. Do as bears, hedgehogs, dormice and frogs do. At the first sign of cold weather, they simply curl up and sleep through the winter. A few months of restful hibernation might be most enjoyable.
Before you dismiss hibernation as impractical, read this from the eleventh chapter of *The History of the World*.
HIBERNATE
Special to Newsday
"Instances of quasi-hibernation have been recorded in the case of man. For example, in the government of Pskov in Russia, where food is scarce through the year and in danger of exhaustion during the winter, we are patients that practice closely all-night hibernation spending at least one half of the cold weather in sleep... . . ."
BUILD AN IGLOO
Bv SIMEON COSTA
free. The two tools required are an ivory knife (usually made from a nawalrho or walrus tusk), obtainable at many curio shops, and a pair of earplugs. Heating and lighting equipment may be limited to an inexpensive whale oil or blubber lamp. For your winter's supply of whale oil or blubber, consult the yellow page on whale to be washed up on a nearby beach.
MOUNT VERNON, N.Y.-Petroleum industry and government experts are warning that many homeowners may find themselves in an unsafe situation. It seems that they can fuel some of the people all of the time, or all of the people some of the time, but they can't fuel all of the people.
The traditional eskimo house can be kept warm far more easily than most houses. The snow blocks provide highly efficient insulation, and the solid construction seals out the chilling drafts common to modern American housing. You probably have more than enough space in your backyard to build one, two or even three-room unit.
Man has been described as "the naked ape." We are the only species of land-living mammals which does not have a full coat of body fur for protection from temperature fluctuations. Other mammals bodies are more ornamental than function. However, they prove that hair can be grown on human skin. Properly cultivated, this sparse furzux (zuzux) can cover the entire body.
Sometime around Christmas, nature will provide the basic building material cost-
If you start early, you should have a fairly warm coat by Dec. 21—the first day of
You may complain that nobody can grow a fur coat. But remember, nobody since prehistoric times has tried. In fact, people have been conditioned to do the opposite. All you need is a bottle or jar of one of the hair oils. You'll need the mukers of these preparations claim they will grow hair on a noggin as bald as a billiard ball. Instead of using "Super-Hairgrow" or "Fuzz Fertilizer" on a more bald spot, apply it to your entire body. (Be careful, of course, not to get it on theoles of your hands or other areas best left hairless.)
Additionally, furry people would be far more attractive than the current naked-skin types. Ordinary human skin is limited to a few common colors in a narrow range of light and dark tones. There is also a complete absence of design. Life would be infinitely more interesting in a world of spotted, striped, stripped and mottled people.
GROW A FUR COAT
before you board up your house and fly
out, consider these suggested alter-*
parments.
ur-earing people would have no problem keeping warm in houses with minimal heating. You would be perfectly comfortable during the day at 43 degrees during the day and at 33 degrees at night. In fact, with heavy winter blankets on your bed, you might be uncomfortably warm at 33 degrees, but a lower setting would risk freezing the water.
winter. By the time really cold weather sets in, you and your family could have enough thick, cuddy fur to make you laugh at fuel shortages.
the Oct. 22 cease-fire was announced.
GET FAT
Blubberizing yourself against winter cold is entirely a matter of willpower. No matter how much you detest delicious, rich, creamy, sweet, high-calorie foods, stuff yourself with them. Force yourself to eat between snacks. If you are tempted to exercise or do anything strenuous, lie down until the temptation goes away.
For people who have difficulty in growing fur coats, there is an effective alternative: Simply insulate your body with a thick layer of fat. Such warm-blooded creatures as the dolphin, walrus, seal, sea lion or whale frostie insist the icebergs and floes of polar regions to keep company of cubhairs. In their blubber that keeps them from freezing.
With proper attention to diet and careful avoidance of physical activity, you can put on as much as five pounds of insulation a week. If you begin at once, you could accrue several dozen pounds of heat-retaining flab by New Year's Day.
"The seeming diversified (demographic) makeup of Israel is held together mainly thanks to the alleged danger from outside." *Economic Reports on Risk* would be detonated" within Israel society.
STRETCH YOUR OIL
You may not be able to get heating oil, but there will be no shortage of oil-saving advice. Here are some of the things oil industry and Washington experts tell you to
Oil conservation Estimated fuel method savings (per cent)
Insulate roof of house 20
Insulate house walls 10
Install thermopane windows or stucco windows, also storm doors 20
Set thermostat 5 degrees lower than previous setting 15
Have oil burner serviced for fire alarm or clean soot from ducts and chimney, clean radiators, etc. 10
Install chimney-fuel cutoff 10
Shut fireplace dampers when fireplaces are not in use 5
Shut radiators or registers in unused rooms 15
Caulk cracks in house exterior, particularly around window and door frames 10
"That is why the Jewish state in its
country cannot afford to live in
peace," he added.
Avoid unnecessary opening of
Griff and the Unicorn
EVEN IN THE MOST probing of private conversations one no seems to be asking what peace would mean to an Egypt which for the first time in many centuries would be without foreign rulers or a hostile neighbor.
by Sokoloff
The possibilities of a more self-centered Egypt have been discussed here ever since President Gamal Abel Nasser died little more than three years ago—and with him the country has become an important role in Arab, African and even world politics by playing off the superpowers.
RIGHT NOW, Sadat's problem is still not the disappearance of the Israeli scarecrow to be wielded in appealing to his citizens to rally round the flag.
Some analysts credit West Germany's improved image under Brandt—and the gradually diminishing returns of antigerman propaganda as the horror of German industrialism. Overthrew of longtime Polish communist boss Wladislav Gormula in 1970.
Rather, it's persecuting the Egyptians and not waving away too much to the Israeli's.
While it is easier to see the incipient changes in Israel—if only because that country is in the midst of an election campaign—it is only logical to suppose that Egyptian society, too, will change radically if there is peace.
continuing on domestic problems finally becomes not just an option, but a necessity in peacetime. If nothing else, Egypt can without shame study how Israel developed the oil, minerals and other resources of its territory. If Egyptians are still to荷治 to admit it.
SokoleFF
doors and windows 10
 Install siding on exterior
 walls 15
 Total fuel savings 14'
One of the small ironies of the still timorous Arab-Arabie efforts to overcome mutual distrust is that the signature of the six point agreement finally took place on the 58th anniversary of Armistice Day, which ended World War One.
It is not recommended that you do all of these things. Should you do so, your heating plant will produce 40 per cent more oil than it would with no heat in it, into your tank and, eventually, overflow.
There are, of course, many other means of saving on fuel oil. These include placing Franklin wood-burning stoves in every room and having a fire extinguisher "long johns", piping hot air from Congress, and reading the explanations for the fuel-oil shortage. This last is certain to get you hot under the collar, at least. If you worked that up to a boilerset, you need any fuel oil for at least a week.
accepting West German Chancellor Willy Brandt's Ostilnik.
The writer was an advertising man for gasoline companies until his retirement
War—or cold war—is an easier, if frozen, stance than the movement implicit in peace. Removing the traditional enemy as a force is impossible. One's one society is not without hazards.
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At least the 1918 ceremony ended hostilities in Europe for 20 years, a considerably longer time than has been true in Middle East for the past quarter century.
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First Things First?
Military Affairs Analyst
American Priorities
When the rushing events of mid-October cost attorney General Elliot Richardson and Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox their employment, at the same time raising them as the newest heroes on the national scene, he had to raise questions or voice a small protest.
It wouldn't have been heard in any event. There was a new war going in the Middle East, and we were under direction the Soviet Union might move, if its main policy and strategic interests appeared to be compromised, became of the United States.
By Brig. Gen. (Ret.) S. L. A. MARSHALL
BUT IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. There was hardly one syndicated columnist who paid more than passing attention to a small war that threatened to mushroom into an international dimension. The over-elaborated themes day after day were the aftermath of Watergate, the erosion of presidential power, whether the tapes had been doctored and what would be the effect of their submission and whether impactment would be real.
Having had that measure of importance to the White House, it should have meant nothing less to the American people, those in political life and the press who would inform their minds and their opinion, according to the rule that first things should be told.
These were juicier topics and possibly what the public appetite demanded, though what the public wants doesn't perforce make it the right thing.
It reminded me of an editorial conference at a national daily. The chiefs had asked that I come there to talk about the Middle East developments. The discussion was a major topic, and he bounced a girl secretary bearing one line from a teletype, "Vice President Spro Agnew resigned this afternoon." In one second, all interest in the Middle East situation evaporated as did my hosts. Believing the shoeaker should stick to his task, I specializing in military affairs informed me that I would stick to the subject of the Middle East war.
THE UNITED STATES doesn't possess a national strategy when it is in seeming political dissolution, when its government is under violent attack that intensifies the disarray, when its Congress is bernied by political opportunism and partisan admiration, and when it is making after the bonds and what its people are nonpliessed with, what they see and hear.
The Soviets mark all of this well, which multiplies the danger that they might miscalculate. To cope with that danger, it is necessary to be alert and steady, clear mind, stout heart and steady pulse.
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But that isn't possible. No president has superhuman resources of spirit, courage and vision.
peace of mind. When anger, hurt or feelings of indignity well from one source, they often vent themselves in a different and wholly mischievous direction.
It is easy enough to say Nixon brought this on himself, and, indeed, it is being said, over and again. But that is the retort of an unthinking child. He isn't only the President of the United States amid crises. Above and beyond what may happen to his fortunes and the security of our nation, the security of this republic and the well-being of its people in the future.
BUT RICHARDSON AND COX weren't doing that when they precipitated a new convulsion in Washington at the worst possible hour. If the President was wrong in not seeking some delaying action that would relieve him temporarily of a stress that was assailing him personally, they were no less willing to take such steps, course that would shake him and weaken the position of the United States amid mounting trials on the international scene.
They have been billed as Mr. Clean and Mr. Just for what they did. As models of integrity, they are cited as examples to our young people. But that raises a question: Is it honorable or clean or just to insist on the correct use of word in irrespective of circumstance, regardless of possible dire consequences to one's country and its millions of people?
Richardson, whom I have known briefly and once debated with at length on a TV program, made his mark in government as a skilled administrator. His tenure as secretary of defense couldn't have been too brief. For if that is how he would have been treated by the commander he honored as he saw it above national security and the people's well-being, he would have been too much like a sanitized version of Edwin Stanton.
COX ISN'T SIMPLY a lawyer and certainly anything but the simple country lawyer type. Of winning ways and a cultivated, unaffected style, he is a charmer, especially with newsmen, and the personification of outrightness.
But when he asked himself in public whether he might be getting too big for his britches, the better question might have been whether he was too small for his shoes. For he spoke of the law as immutable, as a law that is not bound in his way at his time or as the court directed.
Both common sense and experience say this isn't true. There are delays within the law and there are compromises, even as there are continuous compromises without our daily lives, and we couldn't get along without them.
But timing is all important, and when a man loses his sense of that and of all other values obedience to the law in his way and at his time, what is taken to be necessary and profit may well be only egism, self- righteousness and spoilsmanship.
Nixon's Stand on Resignation Praised by Ugandan President
Agence France-Presse
KAMPALA-Uganda's President Idi Amin congratulated President Nixon recently on his "courageous stand" in refusing to resign from the presidency.
"Any other weak leader would have resigned or even committed suicide after being subjected to so much harassment he was subjected to," Gen. Aram said in a calcagram.
"I wish to congratulate you most sincerely for your courageous stand, because as a leader holding elected office in the trust of the citizens of the country who elected you, you have taken the correct decision not to be distracted from your official obligations by seeking to win you out of office," the Ulujaidan lead said.
"I have heard through the press of your latest address to the nation in which you restailed your stand not to resign from the Presidency because you were elected to office by the people of the United States of America," the cable said.
His cable continued: "The world today needs leaders who have the determination and courage to stand in the face of difficulties to lead their people.
"I take this opportunity to once again wish you a quick recovery from the Watergate affair and join all your well-wishers in praying for your success in recovering from it," Amin's cable concluded.
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