4a
Opinion
Friday, November 17,2000
Perspective
For comments, contact Ben Voosen Embry or Emily Hughey at 864-4924 or e-mail opinion@kansan.com
Exploring the ups and downs of college dating
I decided to go to Border's to have some coffee and alone time to write this column about the dating situation at KU. I ended up sitting next to this cute guy who was studying for a midterm. Throughout writing this column, I tried my hardest to concentrate, but I kept glancing at him, wondering if he was going to talk to me. How ironic.
So anyway... Dating. Sounds easy enough, right? Well, if you ask most of the single students at KU, you'll get a very different answer
At this point in our lives, it seems as though the future is breathing down our backs. What am I going to do after graduation? Where am I going to live? How am I going to find a job? How am I going to meet people of the opposite sex?
unknown territory of the KU dating pool, the land of opportunity and rejection, and there is only one word to describe it — overwhelming.
Within the last month, all four of my roommates have ended serious relationships. All of a sudden we have been thrown into the
hand, there seems to be so much pressure to be dating someone. Every direction I turn I see a couple kissing goodbye, a guy waiting for his girlfriend after class, a couple walking home with their arms intertwined. How am I not supposed to feel the pressure to be someone's girlfriend?
My roommates and I came to college already in committed relationships, so now we are forced to experience in our junior year what most people experienced as freshmen — how many fish are actually in the sea
So what now? On one hand, there seems to be
On the other hand, there is the pressure to have the craziest time in your life in college, to do whatever you want and not be tied down at such a young age, to not "miss out."
So what's the answer? Is college the time to be on our own and have the time of our lives or is college the time to find "the one" and begin to settle down?
Jennifer
Dartt
guest columnist
opinion@hansan.com
If the latter is true, am I supposed to always be on the lookout for the next first-date possibility? That sounds like too much work. For those who consider college a time to play the field and explore their options, what happens next? When will we ever again be surrounded by 25,000 datee peers? Where do you meet people in the real world? At work? At bars?
The options seem a bit limited.
All of this fuss is leaving me thinking, does everyone else feel this way too? Does everyone else feel these dating and sexual pressures, or is it just us newcomers? I hope we're not alone.
I guess in the meantime we should all concentrate on not looking for the next Mr. or Miss Perfect, and have the times of our lives with our friends, even opposite-sex friends.
But is that really possible? I have great guy friends, and I know there are tons of people out there who are best friends with people of the opposite sex. But can guys and girls really just be friends without feeling even a hint of the sexual tension that instinctively arises when males and females interact? It's just human nature.
Now, I am not trying to exclude anyone, here, I am talking about all sexual preferences
— heterosexuals, homosexuals, bisexuals, whatever. No matter your sexual orientation, everyone feels the same pressures and fears of rejection. Everyone notices, and is a part of, the giant dating pool that we call KU.
How many guys out there can honestly say that at one distinct moment, a simple gesture or the sweet scent of their best female friend has not made them even consider taking the friendship up a notch? The same goes for girls. Sex is just in the air.
...So I'm done writing now, and I still haven't talked to the guy. My hands are shaking from drinking cup after cup of coffee, waiting to get up the nerve to say something. The pressure. The fear of rejection.
I guess that's just part of the joys of being young. Never again will we have this many opportunities, this many chances to screw up, then try again. College is a time to explore and have fun, in everything you do. So go have fun. I know I will.
I couldn't do it. I packed up my books and left, kicking myself the whole way home. Oh the loss of being young.
Darrt is a Lenexa junior in journalism.
Steve Sack /TRIBUNE MEDIA SERVICES
What is a "chad"?
Heard on the Hill
"A ballot that nobody can understand."
Katie Crane
Overland Park sophomore
"I have no idea. When you can't decide for a winner after an election."
Paresh Mehta
Wichita freshman
"The hole punch thing on the ballot."
Benjamin Wilson
Westwood senior
Answer: The hanging bits of paper left on punch-card ballots.
"Part of the ballot. The tab thing that hangs down. The part to see if it's valid." Melissa Strader' Wellington freshman
Letters to the Editor
Electoral College not at fault for election debacle
Cassio Furtado's Tuesday, November 14, article was clearly biased and showed a common misunderstanding of the mess we are calling the election. By this, I mean that the Democrats are calling for the dissolution of the Electoral College and screaming that the popular vote should be the vote that matters.
In every election since the beginning of our country there have been thrown-out ballots due to voter error. To even think of questioning whether or not to reinstate those ballots or to have a revote is ludicrous and would lead to the demise of our country. The Democrats have thrown their accountability out the window. They are losing and think the solution is to call the system unfair. When George W. Bush was losing the Electoral College (and he may technically still be), the GOP did not cry out as the victims of the Electoral College. Neither was the GOP crying out for the Electoral College to be abolished when it was winning the popular vote.
The clear reason this election has turned an embarrassment for the country is because the Democrats will not admit defeat. Al Gore needs to be a man and say, "I lost." Dragging the debacle on with lawsuits only perpetuates the idea that if you don't get your way, you can sue.
Of all the complaints our Berkeley Flats management could address, it's peculiar that they chose this one. Perhaps they did so because this "solution" costs them virtually nothing. Why
Berkeley Flats article overlooks serious problems
I am somewhat amused at the lapse in news judgement that resulted in Berkeley Flats' parking lot making it into your paper. Parking is very rarely a problem at Berkeley Flats. If it ever was, it was only because our management chose to sell parking spaces during football games instead of enforcing the "permit parking only" signs.
This childish game should be stopped.
not address the utterly worthless air conditioning units, the dilapidated decks and doors, the shabby staircases, the inadequate insulation and locks or the pathetic bathroom drains?
Larger problems with Berkeley Flats abound. Yet, because one great humanitarian who habitually double parks has formulated a petition and endeavored to make our lives complicated, we have a new set of inane parking regulations.
Berkley Flats has responded to the licentious outrage of illegal parking by spewing forth a set of rules that is redundant and riddled with red tape. Now we can't have guests use our lot without written permission from the management.
Brendan O'Bryhim Lawrence resident
"Sex on the Hill" feature is redundant, irresponsible
While I appreciate the Kansan's willingness to do a "Sex on the Hill" section, I think a few things need to be noted. Every year I have been here you have done a piece on the infamous downward trend of the "MRS. degree." I don't understand why this continues to be such a hot news trend for you, especially when your story in this issue doesn't seem to be based off of anything — other than the downward trend for both women and MEN. Of course, how can you get one without the other?
Sorry this is so short, but I think I spotted a potential mate who might develop high pornographic expectations of my sexual ability and then treat me as an object, while at the same time allow me to drop out of school in exchange for nuptial bliss. I better go use one of those handy pick-up lines you published!
Oh, and thanks for covering the pertinent issue of the "porn hall." I was relieved to find out that I needn't be offended by videos that subjugate women as well as potentially encourage violent/aggressive/misogynistic behavior, and that getting together to experience fake boobs (among other things), cheesy set-ups and 20-minute long orgasms was "normal college behavior."
Carrie Gray Portland, Ore., senior
Editorial
Recount in Florida is necessary
Both parties should respect recount to ensure a fair, accurate vote count
Election night ended one week ago and still the country does not know who will be the next leader of the United States. Bush and Gore now are delving into territory seldom seen by candidates — waiting for a decision, soaking up time not built for campaigning. But what Bush, Gore and their respective camps are doing now is drastically different and will greatly impact the upcoming term.
The camps' approaches to the Florida recount are so different that one does not even seem to be a party based on democratic ideals. The Gore camp's true philosophy is that the recount should be done carefully but not necessarily slowly. Making sure all votes are accounted for is a respectable act of democracy, especially given the voting crisis.
However, the Bush camp is setting deadlines, filling injunctions to stop a meticulous recount of votes and, basically, obstructing the democratic process.
The last week has been an exercise in partisan tug-o-war. In an attempt to save his lead and appear confident, Bush has swayed toward ignoring everything following November 7. What type of potential leader wants to silence votes, a symbol of democracy? All people, regardless of party association, need to accept the fact that the Palm Beach County ballots were confusing and possibly violated the state's election laws.
Bush's premature acceptance to the presidency most likely is because of the many sources who tabbed him as Clinton's successor. Gore has done his best to stay out of the spotlight and let the recount occur to assure an accurate vote count.
Democracy demands that votes not only be cast but counted. The Bush camp needs to let democracy work its course and respect the Florida voters and the situation.
Ben Tatar for the editorial board
864-0500 864-0500
Free for All callers have 20 seconds to speak about any topic they wish. The Kansen reserves the right to edit submissions, and not all of them will be published. Slanderous statements will not be printed. To read more, go to www.kansan.com.
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I feel sorry for people who choose to be abstinent. They're missing out on a big part of college: STDs.
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Try doing a little research before printing everything you hear.
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We should have a history of KU course.
The paper should have an advice columnist.
I never knew sex could be so boring until I read your Sex on the Hill section.
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Sex on the Hill was an awesome section.
The reason why people preach abstinence is because they haven't had sex.
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With Bush in office, I fear we'll end up attacking a small country with a name he won't be able to pronounce.
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George W. Bush word of the day: unfairity.
Gore doesn't deserve to be president if he has idiots voting for him in Florida.
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Saying George W. Bush is tiring. We should just say Gush.
I should walk up to girls and say blah, blah, blah. It's about just as meaningful as the regular conversations I have with them.
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If anyone finds a spleen around campus, can you please return it?
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Isn't it time they give up this whole recount business? Bush and Gore should just fight it out.
Wednesday's Free for All was the best ever. There were no slanderous remarks from about greeks, no serious political comments, and a fourth of them were from my room.
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