Section:
B
Sex on the Hill
For comments, contact Clare McLellan at 864-4810 or e-mail editor@kansan.com
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Abstinence an uncommon student choice
By Adam Procht
Kansan correspondent
Alec Miller, Amanda Smith, Adriane Mercer and Marc Ricketts all have one characteristic in common - a commitment that forms an integral part of their lives. It's a commitment that few college students make these days.
These KU students are waiting until marriage to have sex.
The decision is not a common one. According to a U.S. News poll, less than half of those under 45 years old thought
that is was a good idea to remain a virgin until marriage, and a majority felt that having a few sexual partners made it easier to pick a compatible partner for marriage.
However, these four do not share the popular opinion. They said they had felt strongly about this issue for a long time.
"I had always grown up in a Christian
home, and it was never up for question for me," she said. "As far as influence goes, it would be because of God and that he asks us not to."
Miller came to the decision later in life. "I didn't always have that thought of waiting until marriage, but after a while I started to see some of the benefits of it."
Miller came to the decision later in life.
Mercer, Topeka senior, had a similar experience.
"I had never been much of a rule breaker, so when (my parents) said, 'You will not have sex before marriage,' my first response was, "OK," Mercer said. "I never
put myself in a place where I would ever commit a sin like that but I didn't really know in my mind that I'd made the decision until later. It was then when I finally built a strong relationship with God that I realized this is a decision I have made, a commitment. One I'm going to stand by."
Ricketts, Osawatomie freshman, also made the decision early but had his beliefs reinforced through personal experience.
"One of my best friends got pregnant when I was sixteen and I had to watch
See COUPLES on page 58
Laura Montgomery of the Emily Taylor Research Center talks to the Alpha Gamma Delta sorority along with Amber Kasiska, Galva sophomore. Kasiska talked about being the vic tim of rape Monday evening to a group of about 100. Montgomery helped answer questions about what someone should do when that person has been raped. Photo by Selena Jabara/KANSAN
Experience with rape changes student's life
By Jacqueline Lenart
Kansan correspondent
Frightened and ashamed, Amber told her cousin and friends she didn't want anyone to know what happened.
As Amber Kasiska's cousin helped her into the car, her cousin looked at her and said, "You have two choices, Amber, either we can take care of this our own way or we can go to the cops and take you to the hospital."
On Nov. 22,1997,at the age of 16 Amber, then a sophomore in high school, was raped.
Alcohol, lies and naive trust turned a night of carefree innocence into a lesson she'll never forget.
The evening started with Amber, a
Galva sophomore, and her friends drinking after work. She told her mother she would be spending the night at a friend's house, but she had other plans.
They had decided to meet up with her friend's boyfriend and his buddies at nearby McPherson College. Hanging out in the dorm room, Amber and her friends got acquainted with the men they had just met. With alcohol in 'her system and her sense of judgment blurred, Amber and one of the men she had just met started kissing.
The other two men left the room and kissing turned into force when the man started removing Amber's clothes. He then got on top of Amber and raped her. Once the terror had ended, her attacker wrote down his phone number on a
"I remember looking out of
"I remember looking out of the dorm room window and feeling like a prisoner."
Amber Kasiska
Galva sophomore
piece of paper. Telling her to give him a call sometime, he slipped it into her pocket.
"When he got up, I was so confused I couldn't even put my clothes on right," Amber said. "I put my pants on inside-out a couple of times and he laughed about it." Afterward, he used a phone in the room to make a call while she got
dressed, and when finished with his phone conversation left the room.
Hearing voices outside the door, she knew her struggle had just begun and her assault would continue. The other two men entered the room. Next, she heard the sound of a sliding drawer and a condom wrapper being unwrapped just feet away from her. Looking for a way out, Amber peered out of the window to an outside that seemed bleak, as if there was no escape.
"I still can't get the picture out of my head to this day." Amber said. "I remember looking out of the dorm room window and feeling like a prisoner."
See RAPE on page 2B
Opinions vary about strip clubs
By Brooke Helser
Special to the Kansan
The lights go down. Then the women come out.
It's just another night at a strip club. While some feel strip clubs are degrading, others feel it's just a form of harmless entertainment.
Tim Marshall, Kansas City, Kan. sophomore, first went to a strip club with his friends to celebrate his high school graduation. He said it was just a way to have fun.
"It's a form of entertainment, just like going to the movies or going to a play," Marshall said.
He said he didn't think stripping was degrading.In fact,he said he saw a large number of women in the audience
"If you would ask the girls, most of them would tell you it's not demeaning," Marshall said. "It's a way for a lot of them to put themselves through school."
Jackie Long, manager of Bada Bing,
913 N. 2nd St., said she estimated about
a third of the club's dancers were students.
Long doesn't see anything wrong with stripping either. She said the club was a way for people to get away from the everyday hassles of life.
"It's every man's fantasy to be with a beautiful, intelligent woman," Long said. "That's why they come here."
But not everyone agrees with Long. One former stripper, a junior at the University of Kansas who did not wish to be identified, said she found the experience awful. She worked at a Kansas City Mo., strip club for one month.
"You make a lot of money, but you don't leave there with a whole lot of self-respect." she said.
Megan Crockett, St. Joseph, Mo., sophomore, has similar sentiments. She waited tables at Bada Bing, but after one night on the job, she quit. Although Long estimated 40 percent of the customers were KU students, Crockett said she didn't think so.
"I thought it would be a lot of college guys in groups," Crockett said. "Instead, it was older men and truck drivers. They were there alone, too. It grossed me out. I looked at them as being pervers."
Crockett said one man in particular frightened her. He stayed close to the bar, where she was working, all night.
"It wasn't worth it," Crockett said. "I didn't want to worry if someone was following me home."
Crockett said her manager wasn't surprised when she quit. She said he told her that with an innocent face such as hers, he didn't expect her to stick around long.
Although Crockett said she would never consider stripping, she said she understood the allure. She said several of the strippers told her how much money she could make if she became a stripper.
"The girl who interviewed me pulled out a wad of money and said, 'Here, look at this. You should strip,'" Crockett said. It isn't a wonder how strippers make so much money. Both Bada Bing and The Outhouse, 1837 N. 1500 Rd., have a cover charge of $10, and they are both 18-and-older clubs. The Flamingo Club, 501 N. 9th St., charges $3 and is a 21-and-above club.
— Edited by Kayla Monson
Hall relationships create challenges
By Amanda Wolfe
Kansan correspondent
Wanted: a companion for some lovin'.
Many people come to college looking for one thing — action. Residence halls provide plenty of opportunities for students to hook up. Students find companionship with those of the opposite sex on their floors.
Natalie Eisenbarth, Topea sophmore and Ellsworth Hall resident assistant, said the residence halls were a good outlet for meeting people.
many times romance can be hard to hide from others on the floor - especially the resident assistants.
"It really is a great way to get to know someone and their habits," Elsenbarth said. "You see how that person interacts with other people and you get to know how they really are."
For Eric Lynn Brandt and James Lifton, both Iowa City freshmen, both were lovestruck well before move-in day. The two started dating during their senior year of high school. Both chose to
come to the University of Kansas, independent of each other's decision. They wanted to meet new people and planned on living in different residence halls. But as fate would have it, both ended up in Ellsworth — on the same floor.
"It was a shock to me that we ended up on the same floor," Brandt said. "At first, I was thinking negatively, but I was confident for the two of us. I was prepared for what could happen, good or bad."
"If I just want to see her for five minutes I can stop by and say hi and go back to my room." Litton said. "I'd rather have her here than anywhere else."
For some couples, things don't turn out so well. If the relationship ends, they have to deal with seeing each other every day for the rest of the year. Privacy is practically nonexistent in such close quarters, and word can spread fast in a gossip-hungry dorm.
The couple has experienced the trials and tribulations of being so close to each other all of the time. So far, things have worked out well.
When Jennifer Sher, St. Louis freshman, dated someone on her floor in Ellsworth Hall, she experienced some of the negative aspects of a hall romance. The relationship did not end happily.
"You are still going to be around that person everyday, and everybody around you knows the details about it in two seconds." Sher said.
When love is not so conveniently located in the dorm, cooperation between roommates is essential when dealing with a long-distance romance.
Ben Huebsch and his roommate, Jeff Vanhemer, both West Des Moines freshmen, have girlfriends that do not attend KU, but their girlfriends visit often.
"We take turns for each other." Huebsch said. "I know my roommate is going to make sacrifices for me when my girlfriend comes to visit."
"When the other's girlfriend is here, we sleep in other rooms," Vanhemert said. "Once, I slept out on the couch in our lobby."
Mutual respect has allowed for minimal conflict between the two roommates.
Erin Lynn Brandt and James Litton, both Iowa City freshman, have been dating since their senior year in high school. Brandt and Litton's relationship has been challenged by college life; however, they have adjusted to make it work. Portrait by Christina Neff/KANSAN
"We respect the other person wanting to be alone with their girlfriends," Huebsch said.
Taking into account the positive and negative aspects of a residence hall relationship, some have found happiness.
while others are still looking. Brandt and Litton's relationship has been challenged by the changes of college life, but they have adjusted their lives to make it work.
— Edited by Kathryn Moore
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