Friday, October 13, 2000
The University Daily Kansan
Section B·Page 3
Tiger fans excited about mediocrity
As Kansas and Missouri prepare for their annual fall football squareoff, it might be enlightening to pay a cursory consideration to the nature of rivalry and just what constitutes a good one.
Border-war animosity dating back to the Civil War and more than 100 years of football battles certainly would segn to be the basis for a great rivalry. In fact, Kansas-Missouri is the second most-played football rivalry in the NCAA.
But for Kansas and Mizzou, mediocrity also seems to be the basis for this rivalry. Missouri's all-time record is now 541-462-52. Kansas is at 513-490-58. Though Show-MeStaters can crow about their superior record, neither program rivals the leaders of the Big 12 Conference.
Historically, the series has been closely contested (Mizzou leads 50-49-9), and that's largely because neither team has ever distinguished itself as a football power. This combined lack of accomplishment tends to dull the rivalry's shine.
What's interesting is the zeal with which Missourians embrace such mediocrity.
Football aside, this is a community where aesthetic expectations rarely rise from the gutter.
The Missouri media guide, for example, boasts the spectra of cultural events and activities that have graced the Columbia community. Such intellectual entrees include — get this — Coolio and WWF.
You've heard of the wine-and cheese crowd? This is the Natural Light-and-Cheetos crowd.
Perhaps this explains how a middling football team can inspire its fans into a liquor-bottle-and-battery-throwing frenzy. I guess Tiger fans can get a little restless having to wait all week until SUNDAY,
Kansan sports columnist
Derek Prater
sports@kansan.com
SUNDAY, SUNDAY! for the monster truck show. They just have to loose a little on Saturday.
Kansas fans, some would say, should try to emulate the enthusiasm (though not the hooliganism) of Missouri fans.
You'll have to forgive Kansas fans if they have problems getting excited about a football program that lingers in the shadows of one of the richest basketball programs in the country.
country. But one football game that Kansas fans can get excited about each year is the showdown with the Show-Me State. And this game should be a good one because both teams have plenty on the line.
Both Terry Allen and Larry Smith should look at this game as though they were auditioning for their own jobs.
For Kansas, this game is a chance to even up the overall series at 50-50-9 and to right a sinking ship.
For Missouri — well, we've already established that it doesn't take much to get people excited in Columbia. And one thing they always get excited about is a chance to beat Kansas — it's often enough to make a whole season at Mizzou.
When it comes down to it, maybe that's what a real rivalry is all about — one game that can transcend a whole year's worth of crap.
Prater is a Lawrence graduate student in journalism.
In battle of the bad, Mizzou will triumph
When Missouri plays Kansas at Mizzou's Homecoming tomorrow, you can throw out the record books. In fact, do that. Please
It's no secret that neither team is very good. Missouri has lost its starting quarterback, Kirk Farmer, and its backup quarterback, Jim Dougherty, to injuries. Wide receiver John Dausman tore his ACL two weeks ago, and No. 4 wide receiver Brandon Barnes is done for the year.
The Tigers' primary wide receiver, Travis Garvin, was kicked off the team two weeks ago for failing more drug tests than he did math tests, which is hard.
Missouri's new pass-happy offense, which at times utilizes five wide receiver sets, is in trouble, one would think, when it's being run by a third-string quarterback throwing to two wide receivers who started the season on the two deep roster.
So that's our excuse. Our guys are hurt, and even with them healthy, the Tigers weren't going to scare many teams.
But do y'all (they say that in Kansas, don't they?) want to know something astounding? We can still beat Kansas.
Maybe that's what makes this rivalry great. You suck, we suck.
It's like when the two fattest kids in your third grade class would race to see who's not the slowest kid on the schoolyard. Small consolation, but still competitive.
Kansas fans, this is the one game you have to cheer about all year long. Same goes for us Trumans here in Columbia.
So, you Rockin' Chalkin'
Squawkin' eatin'at-one-of-the-18
Taco-Bells-in-Lawrence KU fans,
make the road trip.
Actually, first go to Late Night with Roy Williams and pray for another second-round loss. Watch Roy read "Top 10 Reasons For Luke
Missouri
Maneater sports
columnist
Patrick Finley
Axtell's Mysterious Illness." Wave rhythmically back and forth like wheat. Then come to Columbia.
And as you and 12 buddies are crammed into the flatbed of that '74 Chevy pickup — an upgrade from the John Deere you usually take road trips in — say hello to your gorgeous state landscape for me.
You may get bored, so ponder this:
If Kansans don't believe in evolution, how did the Jayhawk get his shoes? Seems to me he got tired of stepping on broken bottles of homemade corn squeezings and grew some Pumas.
And when you finally make it to Columbia, tailgate a bit and come into Faurot Field. Take your seats in the end zone and close your eyes. Imagine, just as Tiger fans will, that you're at the Orange Bowl or in Pasadena on New Year's Day. Get nervous. Pretend this game has more post-season significance than the Bud Bowl (which it doesn't).
And when the coaches and teams take the field for the Pink-Slip Bowl
— "losing coach gets fired, winning coach probably gets fired" — all will be right in the football world for three hours or so.
We may throw empty booze bottles; we may not. But we'll know, just know, that we can beat Kansas. And for two bad teams, that's worth all the hoopla.
Finley is the sports editor for The Manatee at the University of Missouri.
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