hilltopics Images People Features 6A Friday, September 1, 2000 For comments, contact Clay McCuistion at 864-4924 or e-mail features@kansan.com
Fakin' it
Study finds KU women less-than-truthful about orgasms
By Katie Hollar
By Kate Holland
writer@kansan.com
Kansan senior staff writer
O arrow solid
Oh. yes.
You're the king — or maybe you're not. More than two-thirds of KU women have faked an orgasm, says Tamara Bryan, Topeka graduate student in clinical psychology.
Last semester, Bryan interviewed 366 female students to learn how, why and when women pretended to climax. All participants were between 18 and 26 years old, and women of all sexual orientations were included.
Bryan said the women surveyed had bluffed an orgasm in three waves by physical, verbal and "other" means.
In When Harry Met Sally, Meg Ryan's ham sandwich-eating character epitomizes physical faking: the actual pantomiming of a climax. In verbal pretending, the woman tells her partner she had an orgasm when she didn't. Another type of acting happens when a woman lets her partner assume she climaxed.
Fake orgasms range in timing, Bryan said. Some women start the show before their partner's orgasm, some at the same time and some after.
And the reasons behind the deceitful act vary.
"Different women pretend for different reasons," Bryan said. "The most common reason is a partner's feelings. Women want to please their partners."
According to drkoop.com's Medical Encyclopedia, between 10 and 15 percent of women have never experienced an orgasm. Surveys suggest that between 33 and 50 percent of women experience orgasms infrequently.
That said, it's much more difficult for a woman to achieve orgasm than it is for a man.
stimulate a woman as pleasurable in rebus. One part of Bryan's survey asked women about their tendency to orgasm during four different sexual activities: petting, oral sex, intercourse without additional clitoral stimulation and intercourse with clitoral stimulation. The respondents said they were least likely to climax during intercourse without stimulation.
"Traditional" sex — penile penetration of the vagina — doesn't estimate a woman as pleasurable as it does a man. Bryan said.
that was also the activity when most of them admitted faking an orgasm.
"The fact that they are having orgams the least and pretending the most with that behavior is related," Bryan said. "It is just the cultural ideal that penile penetration is just the normal way to have sex."
The female orgasm is part of that ideal, she said.
The refugee of gasm is peril for our children. "There's a lot of pressure in our culture for women to have an orgasm and to communicate that," she said. "It seems to communicate something about their partner and their own abilities."
cate something like organs are no way to achieve sexual fulfillment,
if the worst ororgans are no way to achieve sexual fulfillment,
she said. In fact, the act works against it.
Sometimes women fake orgasms when sex is painful — as a way to signal their partner to stop, Bryan said. But the partner will assume that because the woman climaxed, she was enjoying herself.
"Her partner may repeat the thinking it's giving her pleasure." Bryan said. "In the long run, that may not be helpful to her."
And more often than not, the partner won't know the orgasm is pretend, said Jenny Schierbaum, former host of the now-defunct Simply Sex question-and-answer show on KJHK.
"Some women scream, some women moan," she said. "I think it's hard to tell. It depends on the actress."
Female orgasms are elusive but not impossible, said Schierbaum, a Chariton, Iowa, senior.
"I don't think most women know how to do it," she said. "It doesn't come naturally. It takes effort."
The best way to learn, she said, is for a woman to take some time alone to explore her body.
alone to explore her body.
"A woman can't tell a guy how to get her to orgasm if she can't tell him herself," she said. "The way to get to know is self-exploration. If you tell a girl what you like, they're going to help you do it."
Such honesty is key,塞尔曼说." Communication is number one," she said. "Knowing the person you're with and being comfortable with them. Intimacy is what is going to make you orgasm."
Such honesty is key, Schierbaum said.
Such honesty is key, Schierbaum said.
Following her own advice, Schierbaum said she's never had to fake an oream.
"I've made it sound better than it was," she said. "But I never totally faked it."
— Edited by Amy Randolph
Simple solutions for sexual frustration:
- Experiment with your sex life have sex in different locations,in different positions and at different times of day.
- Talk to your partner about what arouses you.
- Try reading erotic materials, watching erotic videos or indulging in sexual fantasy, if these appeal to you.
- Take steps to reduce stress.
- Get plenty of sleep.
- Eat healthy and exercise regularly.
* Get plenty of sleep.
- Devote time to your relationship. Set aside time to go out on dates or create romantic evenings at home.
- Try to solve problems in your relationship before they build up.
- If you feel anxious about your ability to perform sexually, discuss these feelings with your partner.
Call the doctor if:
- You develop problems, such as pain, during intercourse.
- Sexual frustration is causing a significant problem in your relationship.
.
- You think medication is the cause.
- You are depressed.
Source: C. Everett Koop, drkoop.com