THE SPRING SONG (With apologies to Mendelssohn.)
'Tis spring when all of nature 'wakes,
When birds return, when flowers bloom,
When the sun is bright and soft and warm
And the air is filled with sweet perfume.
This is the time when "cases" grow,
When Cupid 'gins to shoot his darts,
When boys and girls on the campus stroll
And to each other pledge their hearts.
There are Arthur and Tess both bright and gay,
Little they care how gloomy the day.
Reta and Fritz are lovers too,
In faithfulness surpassed by few.
Edgar and Hazel are often seen,
Strolling about on the campus green.
Georgia and Archie are never apart,
Hardest hit by the fatal dart.
Milton and Moneta. Oh, what a case!
For all other strollers they set the pace.
No one can deny that this is true love
Ordained by the Gods that dwell above.
Maud and Lee are recent comers
Already known as constant lovers.
It would not do to slight Bess and Bill.
As faithful as any two on the "Hill."
And so we might name them and call them to mind,
The more we look for the more we find;
They are here and there and everywhere,
Dozens and dozens and some to spare.
Want Ads.
Wanted—To buy another good milch cow. Must be gentle. Address Ed. James, 23 E. Lee.
For Sale-One slightly used blue card, having printed there on the letters M-U-M-P-S. Ike Lambert, Phi Delt house.
Wanted—Positions on the base ball team; any place will do. Charles Fisher, Tommie Palmer, Cye Lobaugh, Pat Harvey.
Wanted-A rapid and permanent cure for corpulency. Address "Buster,"1537 Tenn.
For Rent-Porch space. Apply at 1005 Kentucky.
Lost—Strayed or stolen; between 1245 Oread and 1406 Tenn. one Phi Pi pin. Valuable only to loser. Returnto Milton Bosse.
Wanted To Buy-A good comfortable lawn swing. Art Gray, 1400 Tennessee.
Wanted—A chaperon who will enforce week night and ten thirty rules. Apply at 1400 Tennessee.
Wanted-Addresses at which we can sing after eleven o'clock p. m. Address Sig house, 23 E. Lee.
Wanted-A date for the Junior Prom. Heim Goldman.
Wanted—Someone to love this spring. Marlin Poindexter.
Wanted-Bill posters, who know on which posts to post. Roy Dietrich, Tom Lee.
For Dates-Apply at 1400 Tennessee any time before April sixteenth.
Wanted—To engage attorney for defense. Masque Club.
Wanted-A new graft. Must be lucrative and short hours. "Clint" Kanaga.
Fool's Follies.
Little Mary was enduring a visit from her boisterous cousins from the West. One evening after the children had said their prayers, they began to talk about heaven. Tom, Jim and Bob wanted to know if they would go there when they died. When an affirmative answer was given by an older member of the family, little Margaret exclaimed in a tone of sympathy, "Poor Dod."
What won't science do? A scientist in Chicago has discovered that the seat of the human affections is not in the heart, as is commonly supposed, but rather in the solar plexus. And to think that poor Cupid has been wasting his darts on the wrong target all these many years.
"Enter journalism in the fear of God"—and the editor-in-chief. —Ex.
Typographical errors sometimes greatly color the true meaning of anews item. Imagine the chagrin of a leading society lady when she saw a tea that she had given referred to in the society as a "swill affair.—Ex.
It seems that in dramatic circles this week, one can get anything just "As you like it" "In the Bishop's Carriage."
"As You Like It" is being played tonight at the University of Illinois by the Amherst College Dramatic Association.
The pony is my helper, I shall not flunk. He maketh me to have good translations and leadeth me to much glory.
"May I print a kiss on thy lips?"I asked, and she nodded her sweet permission. Then we went to press and I rather guess we printed a large edition.
The Modern Twenty-third Psalm
He raiseth my standing and leadeth me in the paths of knowledge for credit's sake.
Going to Press.
Yea, though I plod through my books of German, I have no fear.
For thou art with me, thy art and thy words they comfort me.
Thou preparest my lessons for me in spite of my teachers.
Thou crowneth my head with fame,my morals run high.
Surely applause and recognition shall follow me all the days of my life.
And the pony shall dwell in my house forever.
Bill—Do you have everything canned at your boarding house?
Jim—Oh, no. The music isn't.
We've got a melodeon. —Ex.
The Undertow.
No man or woman of the humblest sort can really be strong, gentle, pure, and good without the world being better for it, without someone being helped and comforted by the mere existence of that goodness.
Butchered English.
Ambition is like love, impatient both of delays and rivals.
Wanted—A woman to sew buttons on the fourth floor.
He shot himself in the ticket office.
He licked me on my return.— Ex. ___
I cried on his departure.
"When you're ill, a doctor's bill can give you a thrill, which his pill never will."
After the famous blizzard scene the manager stepped before the footlights.
Rather Soft.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he announced, "in the last act we used real snow. Now what do you think of the snow?"
Far up in the gallery a smudgy-faced youngster put his hand to his mouth and screeched:
"De snow was all right,mister, but de actin' was slush."
Emerson: "The silence that accepts merit as the most natural thing in the world is the highest applause.
Before you go into any enterprise, consider where you are likely to come out.
An idle student's head is the devil's workshop.
When Reformed Spelling Comes.
Don't eat stale Qcumbers. They'll W up.
A California editor 49 years old has enrolled in the four year course in journalism at the University of Missouri.
"A rolling stone never gathers any moss, but it gets something almost as good—to wit: polish."
A wise man doesn't lie—neither does he tell all the truth he knows.
Sporting Goods
Just Received-A nice line of Baseball Goods and Tennis Goods.
PRICES JUST RIGHT
ROWLAND'S College Book Store. 1401 Ohio St.
All Right Boys, TID will
cut your hair right.
812 Mass. St. White Front.
STUDENTS, do you want prompt service and good work done on your laundry? If so, call Wilder Bros'. Custom Laundry. Both phones 67. SPEAR & HANSON, K.U. Agent.
G.W.JONES,A.M.,M.D.
GENERAL PRACTICE.
Special attention to diseases of the stomach surgery, and gynecology.
Suite No. 1, F.A.A., Bldg. Residence Lawrence Hospital and Training School
1201 Oh o Street. Both Phones Nc 35,
A. G. ALRICH
Printing, Binding, Engraving. Copper Plate Printing, Steel Die Embossing, Rubber Stamps Seals, Badges. 744 Mass. St.
Sunflower Shoe Store
903 Mass. street.
or a course in Bookkeeping, Shortland. Typewriting and Penmanship. Lawrence National Bank Building. Telephone 717.
Easter Post Cards
A BIG LINE
—AT—
BOUGHTON'S
1025 Mass. St.
Frank Koch FINE LINE OF Spring Suiting 727 Mass.
The Peerless Cafe Open Day and Night. Quick Service.
Your Baggage Handled.
Francisco & Todd
AUTO AND HACK LIVERY.
818-10-12-14 Vermont. St.
Both Phones 139
Carriage Painting and Trimming.
THE
Saratoga Billiard Parlor.
Everything new and first-class. Finest line of Cigars in the city.
710 Massachusetts.