MONDAY,DEC.10,2001
SEX ON THE HILL
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THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN = 5B
Connect, and keep sex fresh
In a long-term relationship, you know what is going to happen when you hit the sack. There are, after all, only so many things you can do before things get repetitive — unless, of course, you have access to a Discover Platinum card and a whole lot of time.
The first time this happens, it's a bit strange. Suddenly you realize your relationship isn't new anymore. You know your partner, and he or she knows you. You've learned she likes to be spanked, he likes to watch you get yourself off. You're not shocked anymore.
Commentary
Meghan
Bainum
Columnist
jayplaykanansan.com
Then, one day around dusk you're cruising home, listening to Rivers Cuomo sing. "I'm tired ... So tired ... So tired of having sex — so tired." You howl along in your best Weezer-inspired singing voice, really feeling Rivers' pain. You're just not excited.
Neither is Rivers — and he's a rock star — so it can't be that unusual. And, it's not.
Most couples, no matter how close, how perfectly matched.
last passion on the weekends
Sex happens on the weekends after the final skit on Saturday Night Live, right after the last beer is gone. You tumble into a bed that smells like you both, and you touch a comforting, familiar body.
You start to become jealous of your single friends, or the ones who have newer relationships. The grass is always greener, that guy is always sexier, that girl cuter. It's hard, right? That time in a
can go through those blah times when sex becomes more of a bore than a blast. It's still good and you still like the person, so it's not like we-need-to-break-up sex, but it's just — sex. Where are the rockets, the shooting stars? When was the last passionate all-nighter?
relationship is death to so many cute "I love you, schnookums" couples. It's the first big test of many to come.
The fact is, sex is sex — whether you've been together two minutes or 20 years. There are variations, different feelings
— certainly different outcomes to each event, with each partner, but the basic actions are the same.
but there is nothing like the feeling of finding that new, different magic of sex that happens between two people who know and love each other. There is something wonderful in knowing that person's love and passion are for you, and you only.
Connection replaces nervousness. Sparks come from mind and body. And it's this connection, this feeling of ease, that makes sex really, really good.
So good that not even Cuomo, or another rock star of your choice, could steal you away.
Love her? Hate her? E-mail Meghan at sexquestion@hotmail.com.
Student grounded in virginity
One of my first nights on the KU campus, walking past Strong Hall. I was told that as soon as a girl graduates a virgin, the bronze Jayhawk sculpture perched in front of the building will come to life and take flight.
Flying alloy isn't a very feasible scenario, but its concept demonstrates a popular belief: We're in college! Everyone is having sex!
Commentary
Janette Yost
Kansas
Correspondent
features@kanasa.com
But I must say that no, sex is not at the top of each weekend's priority list. I know that mine is a minority decision, but no matter. I am, by choice, a virgin. And I'm proud of it.
I am saving myself — my purity, if you will — for my husband-to-be. In that, our wedding night can be every bit as special as it is meant to be. In the right context, sex is a sacred thing, a gift meant to be taken seriously and not handed out unreservedly.
Saving myself for my future spouse is a beautiful thing. When I do have sex for the first time, it will be truly making love — love for life.
These decisions are based on my faith; I am a Christian. Brought up in the heart of Kansas (which I sometimes hesitate to admit), I come from a conscientious community where family, values and church are important parts of life.
Admittedly, I was ready to leave as soon as I could, but I am no less appreciative of the standards that were instilled in me there.
Tim Miller, professor of religious studies, said the increase in sexual promiscuity over the past century was due to today's accessibility to birth control, abortion, antibiotics, increased privacy and cars. Seemingly, society has been working toward fool-proof promiscuity.
But I am happy to hold a standard, to get the respect I do from boyfriends and to keep myself saved.
My abstinence isn't a life-long thing. I do plan to marry. Until then, though, I have complete surety in my choice.
And if I am one day responsible for the maiden flight of Strong Hall's bronze Jayhawk, good. I'd like that.
Contact Yost at 864-4810
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RESPECT IS SEXY Some ways to build respect in your relationships:
- Pay attention to non-verbal cues
- Avoid excessive use of alcohol
- Communicate needs and desires with each other
- Obtain consent
- Attend a sexual assault prevention program
- Establish boundaries and stick to them
Brought to you by: The Emily Taylor Women's Resource Center 22 Strong Hall. University of Kansas. For more information or to schedule a workshop contact Corrina Beck at 864-3552.
Human Sexuality in Everyday Life
Couldn't enroll for or fit Dr. Dennis Dailey's last Human Sexuality course into your agenda?
The Sexuality Education Committee invites you to register for the non-credit edition of this enlightening course to be offered during spring 2002.
Thursdays 6:30 - 8:30 pm Beginning January 24th for 10 sessions at the ECM (Ecumenical Christian Ministries) Center
Registration from 10am-4pm at the ECM Center Students $30.00 and Non-Students $40.00 (&5.00 fee for late registration after January 17th)
Sponsored by:
Sexuality Education Committee
Sociality Education Committee
Cantebury House (Episcopal)
Hillel Foundation (Jewish)
Lutheran Campus Ministries (ELCA)
United Methodist Campus Ministry
Ecumenical Christian Ministries Center
For more information contact the ECM office at 843-4933
Girls get in free and pass the line this Thursday 12/13 with this coupon, no gimmicks no catches!!
Just off 23rd behind McDonalds - 749-HAWK open at 4pm Daily, 11am Weekends