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SPORTS
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
1B
WWW.KANSAN.COM/SPORTS
WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 14, 2001
Commentary
Brandon Stinnett
Columnist
sportskansan.com
A new idea for bored Hawk fans
The football team has lost five straight. The men's basketball team is playing meaningless exhibition games. And we sports fans are left with nothing to get excited about. A logical solution exists.
A high-profile, megasporting event at Kansas must be added to fill the gap in time. I'm proposing University Death Match, an event in the spirit of MTV's popular parody show Celebrity Death Match, in which people associated with Kansas athletics square off against each other in a one-night-only, fight to the finish.
Here's a possible lineup for the inaugural event, complete with my own predictions:
1. Al Bohl, Kansas athletics director vs. Terry Allen
Things go from bad to worse for Allen, our recently fired head coach, when Bohl uses a steel chair to repeatedly hit Allen over the head. With Allen powerless to defend against the chair shots, Bohl appears headed toward an easy victory.
But Allen has planned a secret weapon more cunning than any no-huddle offense or draw play on third-and-seven.
Just as Allen's consciousness begins to fade, the lights dim inside Allen Fieldhouse and "Who Let the Dogs Out" blares over the loud speakers. Suddenly, Kansas basketball coach Roy Williams and Bob Frederick, former athletics director, emerge from the locker room and rush the ring. An enraged Williams lands a drop kick that sends Bohl reeling backward and Frederick grabs Bohls' arms and holds them behind his back
With Bohl unable to break free, Allen grabs the chair and delivers a punishing blow to the midsection, sending him tumbling to the canvas.
As Bohl lies on the mat, writhing in pain, Allen, Williams and Frederick celebrate their victory by flexing their muscles and acknowledging the crowd.
The referee raises Allen's hand, making the victory official, but Bohl too has planned a surprise.
The lights dim once again and members of the recently-cut men's swimming and diving team begin dropping from the ceiling. The swimmers immediately dog-pile on Frederick. A frightened Allen sprints toward the locker room and Williams hide underneath the ring.
Bohl and the swimmers embrace as a chorus of boos echoes from the crowd.
2. Zack Dyer vs. Mario Kinsey with special guest referee Terry Allen.
KANSAS 95-FORT HAYS STATE 41
The two combatants battle ruthlessly in the ring, with neither gaining the upper hand. Dyer attempts to administer a classic sleeper hold when Kansas running back Reggie Duncan comes to the ring and chokes Dyer from behind. Amazingly, referee Allen happened to be looking the other way and didn't see Kinsev's blatantly illegal choke hold.
3. All 25,000 Kansas students vs.
Missouri basketball coach Quin
Snyder
Students take turns pummeling Snyder for hours and hours.
4. Eric Chenowith vs. Baby Jay in a skin to win match.
The winner in this match must strip the clothes off his/her opponent. Chenowith gets the upset victory when Big Jay shows up and rips off Baby Jay's head, revealing-his true identity to be former Kansas basketball player Jerrod Hasse.
Stinnett is a Shawnee senior in journalism and psychology.
Jayhawks pounce on Tigers
Kansas has tour days before season opener at Maui Invitational
By Ryan Malashock
Kansan sportswriter
Kansas quarterback Mario Kinsey gets trampled in the end zone, giving Texas its second safety of the day. Smith and company posted 67 yards of total offense against the Longhorns in Austin this weekend.
Twenty minutes would have been enough for Fort Hays State.
Yes, the small-school Tigers were fulfilling their dreams by playing against No. 7 Kansas in Allen Fieldhouse, but those dreams quickly turned into a painful nightmare.
AARON LINDBERG/KANSAN
Kansas, 2-0 in exhibition games, exploded for 64-points in the first half in its 95-41 exhibition victory against Division II Fort Hays State, 1-1.
Jeff Boschee, senior guard, tries to feed the ball to a teammate under the basket as Fort Hays State junior guard Jim Rhodes defends. Boschee scored 19 points, including five three-pointers, and had three assists.
DIVISION A POWERHOUSE
The Jawhaws put the game out of reach by outscoring the Tigers 43-7 in the last 11 minutes of the first half and grabbing a 44-point halftime advantage.
"The last 14 minutes of the first half, I felt we were real good," Kansas coach Roy Williams said. "Our execution was better, we moved the ball much better on the perimeter, and we got the ball inside better. We were just a lot sharper than we've been this year during that stretch. We were closer to our potential during that stretch."
"It's a great feeling," Boschee said. "Everything felt great tonight with my shot. It's like Michael Jordan says, 'the basket seems bigger,' and that was true."
our potential team.
Senior guard Jeff Boseche hit five three-pointers and led all Jayhawk scorers with 19 points. Boseche, who had a sore throat, knocked down four consecutive three-pointers during a two-minute stretch in the first half.
SEE GAME PAGE 4B
Sputtering offense leaves array of questions for football team
By Brent Briggeman
Kansan sportswriter
Kansas interim football coach Tom Hayes has called his assignment to coach Kansas' final games a "project."
But offensive coordinator Rip Scherer is looking at a goingaway party.
Hayes was promoted to interim head coach when coach Terry Allen was fired last week. Scherer, meanwhile, was left in charge of the nation's 112th-ranked offense out of 115 Division I-A teams.
"I'm realistic enough to know my situation," Scherer said. "The least likely guy to be retained by any new coach is the offensive coordinator, so I just want to do as good a job as I can in the next two weeks and leave on a positive note."
Though Scherer has been offensive coordinator throughout the season, he split play-calling responsibilities with Allen until last week. His task, it seems, is to right what has been a sinking ship.
The offense has been so inept that it has taken only 11 drives inside the opponent's 20-yard line in nine games.
Only two teams in the nation — New Mexico and Kansas State — have completed a lower percentage of passes than Kansas. Jayhawk quarterbacks have completed 44.2 percent of their passing attempts.
the rest of the conference has averaged 38 trips into the red one.
The Kansas offense has
The offensive problems reached a new low when Kansas produced just 67 yards of offense in a 59-0 loss at No. 5 Texas on Saturday. The yards were the 10th fewest gained in one game by
produced 14 touchdowns this season. Eleven individual players in the nation have scored at least that many touchdowns.
the Jayhawks in 111 years of football.
To its credit, the offense has been faced with the nation's toughest schedule. Four of Kansas' last five opponents Oklahoma, Kansas State, Nebraska and Texas have defenses ranked in the nation's top six.
SEE OFFENSE PAGE 8B
Freshman's offense strong in second game
By Ali Brox Kansan sportswriter
With the opportunity to speak to the media for the first time this season, freshman Keith Langford's play proved he deserved an interview.
In just 13 minutes against Fort Hays State University, Langford went six-for-six from the field, including two-for-two from the three-point line,and finished with 14 points. But his three offensive rebounds that impressed Williams the most.
Coach Roy Williams' policy, which does not permit freshmen to speak to the media until after the first regular season game, was waived because the team leaves for the Maui Invitational on Friday.
"Keith does have a knack for getting to the offensive boards," Williams said. "He's a gifted young man."
With the shorter line-up Kansas has been using so far this season, rebounding is a major concern of Williams'.
"It's a huge worry when playing Aaron and Jeff and Kirk at the same time because none of those guys think rebounding and Keith does," Williams said. "I think three offensive rebounds for baskets, I'd like to have that every game."
Langford said Williams had talked
SEE LANGFORD PAGE 4B
NCAA BASKETBALL
No.8 Missouri 89
Tennessee-Martin
63
NCAA BASKETBALL
No.10 iowa 89
MD Eastern Shore 59
NCAA BASKETBALL
No.14 Memphis 88
Wofford 61
NCAA BASKETBALL
23 USC 68
Wyoming 55