6B = THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
ENTERTAINMENT
THURSDAY,AUG.30,2001
College rooms: Encounters of the sexual kind
So, you finally got up the courage and invited that hottie you've been eyeing the first week of class on a date.
If things go right, you might end up somewhere swapping romantic nothings—and maybe a little spit.
Commentary
That somewhere might be in your room, so are you ready?
Meghan Bainum
Sex Columnist
jayplaykawansan.com
Although parents barging in and killing the mood probably won't be a problem, there are other things just as good at turning what could have been a hot night into a lukewarm goodbye.
Granted, most college students can't afford the vibrating Vegas king bed with a wet bar or the $1,000 stereo and entire Luther Vandross CD set, but there are things that even a dorm room-bound lover can do to make the place less like a prison and more like a love palace.
First, think about what your object of affection's first impression of your living space will be.
Dirty underwear on the floor? Kick it under the bed. Burnt-popcorn stink in the air? Light a candle or buy a wall plug. Nasty porn on the wall? Well, depending on how well you know the
person you're bringing home either take it down or make it more visible.
And textbooks are definite mood killers, unless you're having a quickie break during a study session.
Also, try to find and remove any rotted food, pet hair, used Kleenex, etc. Go by the rule that if you think it's gross — your date probably will, too.
Next, take a careful look at the center of the room — the bed. Do your sheets have gross stains on them? Wash them. If it's been longer than two weeks, wash them anyway. Even if they look clean.
Unfortunately for those stuck in residence or scholarship halls, size does matter with beds.
Whoever invented twin beds for University housing obviously didn't have a functioning love
life.
Although it is possible for two people to sleep (or not) on a narrow-as-a-board bed, it's kind of like riding a horse: bumpy, uncomfortable, and somebody is probably going to fall off.
But take heart. Generations of college students have made the two-in-a-twin work (adventurous ones have probably even accomplished 3 or more).
Go to Kmart or Wal-Mart and buy a couple of pillows, even if you already have two. Line the wall beside your bed with them. Along with condoms, a plentiful pillow supply is a good investment to keep things safe and fun.
All right. Your room is clean, your sheets smell like a summer day and that great-smelling candle is not only making your room smell good, it's providing some killer mood lighting (nothing says lovin' less than a fluorescent ceiling fixture).
There's only one more thing to worry about: the other person (or people) who shares your house or room.
Obviously, living in a house makes things easier. Just tell your roommates that a shut door
means "knock," and a shut door with you and a love-interest behind it means "stay away."
Things are more complicated when you share a room. Try working out a system with your roommate. Something easy like a sock on the door that means "stay away."
Just remember that while sex and romance should be accommodated, if you're constantly in the room with the sock on the door, you're going to get busted in on. Either throw the chain, or take it elsewhere (more on that in a later column).
One last thing: Even though the walls seem thick, they are not soundproof. Remember that, but don't worry about it too much.
Basically, college is the time for love, even if it's not exactly the time for the best settings or situations to make love (of any kind). But, with a little work, that hole in the wall called a room can become — at least for a while — a palace of love.
Bainum's column will appear in Jayplay every Thursday. Have a sex question? E-mail it to sexquestion@hotmail.com.
GREAT FALLS, Mont. Teacher shortages may be a problem elsewhere in the nation, but at the Benton Lake School, one teacher is more than enough.
Rural school closes; can't attract students
The one-classroom school north of Great Falls has no students for the new school year.
The school has been advertising to try to attract students, but so far,the strategy hasn't paid off,said a trustee for the school district.
And if Benton Lake shuts down for the year, it won't be the only Montana school to so 14 schools plan to cancel classes, state education officials said.
Hanging dummy gets people's attention
SLIDELL, La. — Several people called 911 to report a man hanging from a ladder attached to a billboard, but police and firefighters quickly discovered it was nothing more than a dummy.
The dummy is part of a three-dimensional billboard advertising Northshore Regional Medical Center on an
interstate north of Slidell. The sign reads: "Trouble is never far away. Neither are we."
Drug dealer tries to sell to mayor
MINNEAPOLIS (AP) — A man who allegedly tried to sell drugs through a car window came across a tough customer — the mayor.
The man was arrested Friday after approaching Minneapolis Mayor Sharon Sayles Belton's car.
The man was found to be carrying what appeared to be crack cocaine and marijuana, according to police.
Men looking to get high steal the wrong drug
NOBLESVILLE, Ind. — Four men who broke into a veterinarian's office stole what they thought was a painkiller that can be abused to produce a high, authorities said. Instead, they ended up with a similarly named drug used to induce labor and stimulate milk production.
"I don't know if they used any," said a detective at the scene. "They were all pretty dumb." -The Associated Press
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