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Thursday, October 9, 1986 / University Daily Kansan
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
A source for the course
You've just finished the first week of classes and you're already in a state of panic. Every class you're in requires a research paper, quizzes every week and it'll cost you $85 for the 12 books you'll be required to read.
You'll be spreading yourself too thin, your grades will probably suffer and your barren bank account dooms you to a Country Club Week chock-full of MTV.
Students risk this sort of disaster every semester, because they rarely see a syllabus before enrolling in classes. But a new publication, scheduled to be available before spring pre-enrollment starts Oct.27, is likely to help students plan realistic schedules.
The publication is the "Jayhawk Course Source," a free guidebook intended primarily for freshmen and sophomores taking courses in the College of Liberal Arts and Sciences.
The guide, prepared by Student Senate members, is intended to provide more information about class formats and requirements than students can glean from the undergraduate catalog, the timetable or from other students. Clearly, the Course Source has the potential to serve a much-needed role.
If the guide fulfills all expectations, it will mean greater efficiency both for students and the University. Giving students access to the inside scoop on classes before enrollment would likely result in fewer adds and drops, with a corresponding reduction in the work required to process the paperwork created by the thousands of schedule revisions.
Opinions
The compilers of the guide should be commended for their commitment to objectivity. A resource book of this type is not an appropriate forum in which to praise or malign professors or their courses. The presentation of useful data should be enough by itself to make the new guide an invaluable resource.
For a wet-footed friend
The rains have come and gone, and those of us in Lawrence were fortunate enough to escape the floods that plagued much of southeastern Kansas and the Kansas City area; more than 50,000 were left homeless throughout the Midwest at different times during the series of storms last week.
The money that Kansas City area communities have spent on flood control wasn't enough to keep up with the high waters.
other ways.
That's where we come in. We got lucky. Lawrence was spared by the torrents. It's our turn to help those less fortunate. People in the stricken areas have pulled together to bail each other out — literally. We can help bail them out in
Betty Bennett, administrative assistant at the Douglas County Chapter of the American Red Cross, said donations for flood victims in the Midwest could be sent to any Red Cross chapter.
In this area, donations should be sent to: Douglas County Chapter, American Red Cross, Community Building, Lawrence, Kan. 66044. Donors should specify that the money is to be used for flood victims.
To make a donation specifically to the Kansas City area, send money to: Greater Kansas City Chapter, American Red Cross, 3521 Broadway, Kansas City, Mo. 64111.
Unsellable surplus
The Russians aren't foolish.
The Russians are our victim.
They may be communists.
And they may be more than a little sneaky when it comes to protecting their intelligence agents, but they aren't stupid.
Did the Reagan Administration really think the Soviets would leap at the chance to purchase 3.85 million tons of grain from us when they could buy it for less on the international market?
some politicians think the Soviets are just doing this to bring the world price of grain down, and that eventually, the Soviets will buy some of our grain. They had better not hold their breath. Not only are the Russians ignoring us, but the South African Foreign Minister, Roelof F. Botha, has
While the media "advertised" that the grain offer was due to expire at midnight Sept. 30th, the Russians decided to buy 1.1 million tons from the Europeans and struck a five-year deal with Canada and Australia for further grain purchases.
banned all U.S. farm imports -- a hefty $18.7 million worth -- for the first nine months of this year.
U. S. farmers, under the provisions of the 1985 farm bill, won't be too badly hurt by the Soviet snub. But the combined effects of the Soviet's and South African's action may do some real damage, especially now that the government has all this surplus grain to store and maintain.
It's no big secret that the Reagan Administration isn't pro-farm, but when it consistently undertakes international political measures willy-nilly, with no concern for those who stand to lose the most if they fail, then more than favoritism is involved; blind ignorance comes to mind.
When the little farms go, they'll take several banks and small communities with them, and the Reagan Administration will be left wondering how such a "minor issue" as farming supports got to be such a big problem so fast.
Letters should be typed, double-spaced and fewer than 200 words and should include the writer's name, address and telephone number. If the writer is affiliated with the University, include class and hometown, or faculty or staff position.
Guest shots should be typed, double-spaced and fewer than 700 words. The
Step One: Higher Education
Assuming, of course, that a parent
1, for one, believe that this nation of ours needs a little variety. With that in mind, I would like to share with you my guidelines for failure. I call it "How to Be a Loser, Or: Leave Me Alone, I'm Watching 'Dynasty.'"
Bob Hart
Guest Shot
Everyone wants to be a winner. There must be hundreds of books and magazine articles published each year, telling us how to be more successful. "Dress for Success." "Flatten Your Stomach." "Expand Your Vocabulary." Do we really need all this advice? I mean, isn't our country
News staff
Lauretta McMillen ... Editor
Kady McMaster ... Managing editor
Tad Clarke ... News editor
David Silverman ... Editorial editor
John Hanna ... Campus editor
Frank Hansel ... Sports editor
Jack Kelly ... Photo editor
Tom Eblen ... General manager, news adviser
Business staff
David Nixon ... Business manager
Gregory Kaul ... Retail sales manager
Denise Stephens ... Campus sales manager
Sally Depew ... Classified manager
Jas Wearman ... Production manager
Duncan Calhoun ... National sales manager
Beverly Kastens ... Traffic manager
The Kansan reserves the right to reject or edit letters and guest shots. They can be mailed or brought to the Kansan newsroom, 119 Stairwater-Flint Hall.
Step Four: Exercise Relax. I was only kidding.
Step Five; Entertainment
Step Five: Entertainment
If drunkenness and sleep are not enough, increase your television viewing. And be selective. Sitcoms are best, preferably those with over-powering laugh tracks. "I Dream of Jeannie." "Gilligan's Island." "Topper." If you really want to have fun, petition your local station to bring reruns of "Grady."
Some pointers on how to be a loser
money, because it takes longer to run out of them.
Music can be very entertaining also, provided it is both mindless and repetitive. If your DeFranco Family albums cannot be found, perhaps you should consider organizing a late-night sing-along with your friends. In such cases, remember that crudity, like mindlessness and repetition, is a must.
about to overflow with well-dressed, well-toned, well-read achievers as it is?
For singing and drinking purposes,
you are at an advantage if you
The University Daily Kansan (USPS 650-640) is published at the University of Kansas, 118 StafferFlint Hall, Flaunce, Kan. 66045, daily during the regular school year, excluding Saturday, Sunday, holidays and final periods, and on Wednesday, during the regular school year, except for holidays. Subscription rates are $15 for six months or $27 a year in Douglas County and $18 for six months and $35 a year outside the county. Student subscriptions are $3 and are paid through the student activity fee.
Step Six: Friends
already have lazy, tone-deaf companions. But if you are still in the market for some, scout around for wealth, stupid people who really enjoy spending money on their buddies.
POSTMASTER: Send address changes to the University Daily Kansan, 118 Stauffer Flint Hall, Lawrence, Kan. 66045.
News staff
Step Seven: Romance Have a beer instead. Who would want to go out with you?
Another staple in your new diet will be cigarettes, which have the distinction of being the only food which can function as the main course for all three meals, as well as an anytime snack. Best of all, they go with anything, which means you can abandon tedious meal-planning forever and take those naps you've been dreaming about.
Step Three: Your Personal Finances
Cigarettes don't grow on trees, you know. I suggest writing lots of checks. Checks are much better than
I think not.
That's all there is to it. Your quest for failure may not always be easy, but I beg of you, follow these seven simple steps. When you are old and gray, do you want to look back on a life filled with nothing but financial gain and personal fulfillment? Shall you be nothing more than another in a never-ending succession of happy, likable people?
or legitimate financial institution is oringate the bill, you will need to spend some time deciding on the perfect major course of study. Don't worry. There are plenty from which to choose, and I see no reason why you should not sample them all. (Note: this same philosophy should be applied to the bars in your college town.)
So send in that subscription to "TV Guide, "buy that 12 pack, and please, take a nap. You've earned it.
Bob Hart is a senior from Overland Park
Goodbye, fruits and vegetables.
Hello, macaroni.
Step Two: Diet
Releases undeniably connected
There was "no connection" between the release of Nicholas Daniloff, the American correspondent host taken in Moscow, and that of Gennadiy Zakharov, who was shipped back to the Soviet Union
Paul Greenberg
shortly after pleading no contest to spying charges. That's Ronald Reagan's version of the year's big swap, and it's about as credible as Moscow's claim that its spy was no spy.
Can anyone fail to see the connections between some of the more noticeable developments in Soviet-American relations these past weeks? Nicholas Daniiloff's release was followed so closely by Comrade Zakharov's that the two almost crossed at the airport. The news that the Soviets would free a leading dissident came almost in tandem with a hint from the State Department that the United States might let some of those Soviet diplomat/spies at the United Nations stay on for a while. It took a while to work out the details, but what else could Soviet and American diplomats have been dickering about ever since Nicholas Daniiloff was seized?
The politicians and the politicians
manque known as commentators are still toting up the score, with some of them saying Washington got the better deal and others giving the nod to Moscow. There would be no point in all these tabulations if there were no connection between them. At last count, the United States was getting one innocent American reporter and a major Soviet dissident (Yuri Orlov) in exchange for one Soviet agent and an American commitment not to expel too many Soviets from this country.
As in any major league trade, it's not easy to figure out who got the best of the bargain. But why deny there was a bargain? Maybe for reasons of state, or reasons of pride, or as a formal bow to the fading principle that the United States does not bargain for the release of hostages. But the official denial cannot hide the connection between these various events, else they would not all be subsumed under that general title, the Daniilo Affair. Can anyone imagine
As in any major league trade,it's not easy to figure out who got the best of the bargain. But why deny there was a bargain?
Nicholas Daniloff, Gennadiy Zakharov, and Yuri Orlov being freed at just this time in just this order without there being any connection between their cases? One might as well imagine a chess match in which the pieces are moved without any relation to one another.
Whoever won this round, the most troubling aspect of the Daniloff Affair may be the continuing perception of Soviet-American relations as a game, and not an attempt to create a common understanding between the two powers based on something deeper than strategy and bluff. So long as hostage-taking and hostage-transoming are an accepted part of international relations, and the only dispute is how many hostages are worth how many spies, the chances of peace between the two superpowers will rest only on a shared cynicism. And that is not the strongest of foundations.
With all this scorekeeping, it is easy to think of the Damiloff affair as a game. Specifically, it sounded like a game of chicken when Reagan boasted at one point that the Soviet Union had "blinked" in this confrontation. That is no way to talk about a superpower with a gigantic inferiority complex, particularly if the president would like to have the Soviets blink again some day, when the stakes might be much greater. Later, to his credit, Reagan acknowledged that "I shouldn't have said that." Which was almost as good as not having said it, but not quite.
One cigarette at a party, and you're out.
Cigarette? Don't even think of it
So says the Lawrence Fire Department. Recently the Department declared that its employees must sign a contract agreeing not to smoke on or off the job. Firefighters no longer have the freedom to choose how to live their lives outside the office.
Jan Underwood
Columnist
Don't get me wrong — I'm all for a smoke-free workplace. In my more generous moments, I concede that smokers in an office building should be provided with a windowless cubicle at the end of the corridor where they can all asphyxiate together.
But what they do when they leave the building is their own damn business.
The fire chief says the workers must be in excellent physical condition. They work 24-hour shifts, and is unreasonable, he says, to expect them to smoke for 24 hours and then not smoke for the next 24.
It is not his place to determine what is reasonable in an employee's private life. Certainly physical health is important — even essential
— for firefighters. But the department is blacklisting employees for taking a drag on a cigarette behind the barn.
What it should do is test employees for physical stamina, lung capacity, and working and recovery heart rates to determine whether they are fit for the job Abusive smokers would be weeded out quickly enough, and employees would be free to use their own judgement about an occasional off-the-job cigarette, martini, potato chip or anything else detrimental to their health.
The Fire Department's decision to make employees sign a no-smoking contract is an extension of the Reagan administration's foray into personal habits of all sorts, such as the new "crackdown on drugs." Drug-testing is a clever campaign ploy for Reagan and his GOP cronies up for election in the House and Senate. Being anti-drug is about controversial as being pro-apple pie.
But it's more than a campaign device. It's also a powerful tool to manipulate federal employees Drug testing will be used to keep certain people in power and get rid of others. The message is clear: if we don't like you, we're going to find something in your urine. In the case of the Lawrence Fire Department, those in power are threatening to find a cigarette stub behind your bureau.
In Lawrence and in other fire departments around the country, the drug-testing notion has expanded from illegal drugs to legal ones like nicotine.
If Georgia exports its mentality, maybe the Lawrence Fire Department will decide that sodomy is detrimental to the health and keeps employees from being able to fight fires effectively. The department will be keeping tabs not only at parties in bedrooms. If Ed Meese has his druthers, the Fire Department will forbid employees to read Playboy. They'll be watching bookstores and libraries for signs of unhealthy reading.
Gubernatorial candidate Mike Hayden is calling for drug testing of all state employees in "sensitive" positions.
Government employees, beware: the thought police may catch you daydreaming about cigarettes.