Kansas Army National Guard
DAY IN THE LIFE
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF: CAITHE EXANDER
Vicky Diaa-Camacho // Kansan
that they associate host with nanders
Vicky Date Cammeno 77 Rainbow Caithe Alexander, a sophomore from Shawnee, said recently they found that they associate best with pangender.
ADVOCATE & PANGENDER DRAG SHOW PERFORMER by Vicky Diaz-Camacho @viekyd_ c
Over the chorus of "Oh girls" and "Ohs" Caithe Alexander, and their friend Ray Lawrence, lay out dresses, makeup, heels, wigs and jewelry in preparation for one of the many drag shows the two participate in together. In an otherwise quiet Tuesday night in one of the University's scholarship halls, the two set up on opposite sides of the room, their makeup and clothes laid across the table.
"Welcome to our world." they said.
Alexander, a sophomore from Shawnee, has purple dye-dusted hair, almond-shaped eyes with colored contact lenses, a playful grin and a '90s-inspired look -- tattoo necklace and all. Alexander identifies as pangender and uses the pronouns they, them and their. They added that they are very spiritual and a romantic. They have been in dance, tap, the Renaissance festival as a fairy, does art and, most recently, drag shows.
While they said Danielle, their mom, has been supportive, they consider their family to also be made of friends.
“[They are] my family in the definition of the word. I found them at the perfect time,” they said. “We've shared our
deep pasts."
Lawrence, a sophomore from Kansas City, Kan., and Alexander started performing in drag shows in Lawrence last semester.
"Caithe and I are so different; I'd like to say we balance each other out," Lawrence said.
However, Alexander is still searching for other pieces to their identity, they said. Alexander briefly mentioned the sperm donor their mother used. Their mother is white, yet they consider themselves biracial because the sperm donor is Native American.
They said they want to find and explore their cultural roots.
Casey is a special education teacher at Hazel Grove Elementary. He said he always had the means to help others, and that's why he signed up for Big Brothers Big Sisters. He first met Alexander when they were 7 years old. Per their mother's request, Casey was paired with Alexander because Danielle had requested that the "big brother" be a gay man.
"When I first saw Caithe, he know, [in 2009] I could tell they were struggling with their identity from the very beginning," said Barry Casey, Alexander's "big brother" from the Big Brothers Big Sisters program in Kansas City, Kan.
"No other family wanted him because he was gay but we clicked," Alexander said.
"We're just like family," Casev said.
He said he saw Alexander grow up and mentioned that he witnessed the process Alexander went through in finding themselves, from child to young adult.
When Alexander was a toddler they asked for their first Barbie. They would also paint their nails, wear dresses and preferred the color pink. They were diagnosed with childhood gender nonconformity and gender dysphoria when Alexander was in the fourth grade.
"When you go through your stages as a teenager, you tend to find out where you are in the world and where your place is in the world," Casey said. "So [Caithe was] kind of like trying to figure out through all that stuff."
Doctors became interested in Alexander's gender dysphoria and how they compared to Jared, their fraternal twin brother, in development. This put the twins on the radar for a "60 Minutes" spot about nature versus nurture on being gay or straight.
During the interview, both children were asked: "If you were going to tell a stranger what you were like, what would you sav?"
Doctors determined that Alexander was the product of nature and Alexander agrees, according to the "60 Minutes" report, which Alexander confirmed.
"Middle school was the worst for bullying." Alexander said. "I would try to self-mutilate myself because people would point out, 'You have a pen.' And I'd be like, 'That doesn't make sense.'"
Nine-year-old Alexander, with painted nails, answered: "I would say, like a girl."
In eighth grade they came out as bisexual. At the end of their freshman year of high school they came out as gay.
Casey said he also witnessed a turning point in Alexander's life: "I remember when we went to Chicago and we went to Pride and that was when Caithe was like, oh, 16 or 17 or something like that. And just seeing [...] people: gay, trans, bi, whatever — just like being happy," Casey said. "[People] being together, proud of themselves, showing their pride, seeing the parade, seeing everybody else proud of themselves — that really helped Caithe."
In the past couple semesters, they have become known for their
push for more LGBTQ+ support on campus and in dorms and, most recently, an open panel discussion of what it means to be transgender on campus.
Alexander is the current vice president of Spectrum KU and is starting a new group called the Gender Euphoria League. GEL will be effective next semester, they said.
"I think that since Caithe has been through a lot [and gained] knowledge they can [use to] support others with those kinds of needs," Casey said. "I'm just more and more proud of them every year. It's exciting."
- Edited by Samantha Harms
Master Sergeant Bartlett
Cell: (785) 633-0154
Email: keith.l.bartlett.mil@mail.mil