6 = THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN
SEX
THURSDAY,DECEMBER 5,2002
Food, bodies mix well for loving delight
Whipped cream, apple pie, cranberry jelly, sweet potatoes, gravy and wine.
SEX
Meghan Bainum
mbainum@kansan.com
While many of these foods will make their regular appearances at holiday dinner tables all over the country, their delights need not be experienced only while sitting at a table surrounded by friends and loved ones.
Jason Biggs provided one of the more famous examples of enjoying food in a noneating setting in American Pie, in which he experienced first love in the warm embrace of freshly baked apple pie. I must admit the warm apple smell and tart, cinnamon taste of the desert made his foray into getting freaky with food fairly easy to understand.
Taste and smell play a huge part in any erotic experience, and adding a few flavors to the main course can be cause for hours of messy, mouth-watering fun — full pie not required.
Whipped cream, cheap and easy in a can, can be squirted wherever your heart desires. Make your lover your own special cream puff, and enjoy the fluffy feeling on your tongue and in your loins as you lick him or her clean.
Increase the chill factor by bringing your favorite frozen treat into the bedroom. Ice
is nice, but Popsicles come in flavors and have nifty sticks for easy handling. Sherbet pops are also a fun delight, causing spiningling chills for the sherbetee and sexy tastes for the sherbeter. Though a little arctic action won't hurt any sensitive spots, getting the frozen end of a Popsicle in one of your holiest of holes without warning isn't a desire of most. So start slowly by teasing the lips or neck with the juicy delight, before you work your way down.
Chocolate sauce has been a standard of food fun since being packaged in a squeeze bottle. In fact, almost anything in a squeeze bottle begs "sex play, please," and thanks to modern technology, more foods are squeezable now than ever before.
If all the eating has caused a thirst, there's no need to take a break from the
action. Sipping champagne or wine out of the hollows of your lover's body or out of his mouth is a fine way to quench any thirst. In cold weather, try warming up with a little hot (but not too hot) chocolate. Cold or warm, the feeling of liquid flowing across bare skin is a spine-tingling sensation not to be missed. But, stay away from combining soda and sex unless you want to pepper your romantic relations with hearty belches.
Though slightly less slippery than creams or liquid, more solid food can also be part of creative sex. Cake, like pie, is a food not only good to poke but also to smear and lick. The choices are almost endless.
Foods such as zucchini or strawberries are an all-natural, more healthy alternative to finding food-based fun in a squeeze bottle or coated with sugar. These more solid foods can become more intimately involved in the playing-around process.
Zuccchini can take almost any move you want to make. Just use caution whenever inserting anything into any orifice: It is amazing what can be lost in the body, especially in the colon. Also remember to wash anything that might be making it around or
in the body.
Though a little food can be washed away fairly well with some soap and water, pesticides are another matter altogether. Basically don't put it in your body if you wouldn't put it in your mouth.
While on the subject of washing, keep in mind that food play is not for those who hyperventilate at the first signs of a mess. Some foods will stain, and an old sheet or blanket should protect any priceless bedcovers. If you're really worried, invest in a rubber sheet or tarp.
Or get it on condiment-style in the kitchen to ensure fairly easy, and stain-free, clean up. You can always say a bottle fell out of the refrigerator and broke if you get caught with the mess not so when somebody comes over to find your bed covered in pumpkin pie.
Speaking of, there's certain to be loads of post-holiday feast edibles hanging around in kitchens and refrigerators all month.
Kind of makes the term midnight snack have a slightly naughtier meaning.
After all, there are no worries about minding your manners when you're not at the dinner table.