THURSDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2002
SEX
THE UNIVERSITY DAILY KANSAN - 5
Drop daily routines and experience ecstasy
By Marla Keown Topeka freshman
"Keep It Simple, Stupid" is one of my favorite quotes that I utilize in everyday activities. From driving to a friend's apartment to picking out which meal to have at my favorite restaurant, keeping it simple underlies my daily lifestyle. Although keeping it simple has positive uses, it can also cause negative feedback in the sack.
It's funny how much one's personality can be brought out in the romp room. When driving to a certain location, I take the exact same route every time. Why drive 12 minutes out of the way when there is a shorter route available? For the simple reason of keeping it simple. When eating at restaurants, the same meal will be on my plate every time. By keeping it simple, I am not only easily satisfied, but I don't get lost along the way either. Unfortunately, this
thought of simplicity can lead to repetitiveness, if not boredom, in the bedroom. Just like driving to a buddy's house, reaching an orgasm is found by the same route every time. Clitoral stimulation is a simple, easy and effective way to park at that pinnacle point. Although the idea of keeping it simple kept me satisfied every time, I soon discovered I was missing out on the vast world of orgasms.
While wining and dining with the girls, I heard wild tales of sexual ventures and the many different types of orgasms. At first, I attributed the seemingly outrageous types of orgasms to the number of beers consumed. Yet, as my friend started to unfold her discoveries in detail, I became envious of her escapades. That night I took a different route home.
To reach orgasms, women must learn the wonderful art of masturbation. If one way doesn't work for you, try something
Although keeping it simple has positive uses,it can also cause negative feedback in the sack.
different or even seemingly odd. Clitoral stimulation is just one way to make you glow. If it isn't working for you in the bed, try a cozy chair for your fingers to work out in. If direct stimulation isn't getting you anywhere, feel around for more exciting results.
Once you've mastered stimulation, find a friendly vibrator for penetration. Don't let the extremities be frightening; start out with something small and simple. By letting loose with yourself, you have better chances of reaching versatile orgasms with a partner.
When meeting up with your bedfellow, don't let routine get in the way. Fool
around and let the bedroom become a pot-pourri of positions. Try laying on your belly for a better climax. Instead of the mundane missionary, take control on top. If sitting instead of lying down isn't working, try something more practical. Let your partner talk dirty, and feel free to return the favor. Ask questions and tell your playmate what is or isn't working. By communicating, climax can be achieved more efficiently.
Although keeping it simple helps in everyday activities, it can also hinder nightly fun. If your daily grind is interfering with after-hour sex-capades, change your regular routine. If you wish to be more domineering in the sack, speak up in class and let your opinion or questions be heard. If you want more than ordinary clitoral orgasms, let yourself get lost on the way to a buddy's apartment. By changing your daily lifestyles, nighttime frolics can become more fun.
Threesomes add zing to tantalizing sex
By Patrick Ross Topeka freshman
They say good and evil come in threes. I guess the same could be said for some adventurous folks during sexual encounters. A threesome, a menage a trois, a barrel of sin, whatever you call it, opinions tend to be mixed about having sex with two other people at the same time. When asking around about the subject, I've heard everything from "No way in hell" to "Where do I sign up?"
I don't know where you can sign up but I do know threesomes can happen in a variety of situations. Mine have all happened in very different ways, and each had its pros and cons. Some couples really enjoy including a third in their sexual adventures from time to time. Sometimes, when alcohol is involved, three-way lovin' just sort of happens between friends. But, whether planned or unplanned, it's best to be informed about dealing with the situation during and after the adventure.
When planning a threesome with your significant other, it's best to be very clear on
A threesome, a menage a trois, a barrel of sin, whatever you call it, when asking about the subject, I've heard everything from "No way in hell" to "Where do I sign up?"
a couple of points. First, do both partners really want the third? This can negatively impact the entire relationship if the answer is "no" and you proceed anyway. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that you should never let yourself be coerced into adding a third if you don't feel comfortable doing so. Second, is the relationship strong enough to survive the threesome? Disaster is waiting in the wings for a couple whose members aren't committed to each other. It can be awful to find out that your partner doesn't care about you as much as you thought, but it's even worse if you find out on the heels of an experimental tryst. However, if the two of you are positive it's an experience that you'll both enjoy, a threesome can be exciting and even energize your private sex
life afterward.
Oh, and make sure you'll be able to look the third participant in the eye the next day. If you won't be able to, you should think twice about why you want to include an extra person in the first place. If you're the third person, first relish all the attention during the encounter, but also respect that the other two members of your trio aren't contestants and be mindful that you realize they're already in a relationship. They've placed a lot of trust in you.
If your threesome action comes in the second variety (party, alcohol, ring a bell?), there's not much planning involved. Afterward, be it immediately or the next day, it's best to discuss what happened and make sure there are no hard feelings. Whether you and your partner added a third on a whim, you and a friend shared a hottie or the three of you had no ties to begin with, it can be dangerous to friendship and relationships to not work out why things happened the way they did.
Assuming everything was all in fun, you can chalk it up to your continuing sexual education. Hurt feelings and feelings of guilt, though, should be taken seriously by
all parties. If you feel guilty for doing what you did,it's obviously best not to repeat your actions.
During the romp, it's best to remember the following: share and respect everyone else's boundaries. It sounds like kindergarten, but it's oh so important to remember that no one likes to feel left out and no one likes to feel uncomfortable when your parts are touching theirs. Communication is the key to enjoying a threesome; surviving one with your dignity intact is easier when you've enjoyed it. In fact, communication is the key to enjoying any sexual situation, but that's an entirely different article.
Above all, be safe. A Jenny Jones-style paternity test wouldn't look good on anyone's sexual resume and trying to figure out who gave who crabs is a sure-fire way to end a friendship.
Threesomes can be fun if you're so inclined. However, it's up to you to legislate yourself and make sure you know what you're getting into. Monogamous sexual relationships are flavorful, but threesomes are a spice that shouldn't be avoided if the situation is right.
Be sure to vote for your favorite sex columnist candidate by Dec.11. The winner will be published in the Dec.12 edition of Jayplay.